NanceXToo Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 My daughter, who will be 12 in a week and a half, spent the day at a camporee type thing with girl scouts yesterday from 9 AM to 10 PM. When my husband picked her up, he told me, "She gave her number to a 14 year old boy and he's texting her already." I asked what a boy was doing at a girl scouts event to begin with, and was told he was there helping show them how to tie knots or some such. So when they got home, my daughter said that he had asked her if she wanted to exchange numbers so they could stay in touch, she did so, and when he texted her, we said she could respond (it was just stuff like "hey," "did so and so take my phone number, too," "what town do you live in") but that we were going to monitor these texts and if anything inappropriate was said, there would be no more contact. Then he asked her what she was doing tomorrow and if she wanted to hang out, "just a friendly thing." She said upon our instruction that she is not allowed to "hang out" with teenaged boys. He asked "why not?" and said, "It's not like I'm going to hurt you or do anything to you." We had her say, "Sorry, my parents won't let me," he said "OK," and we sent her to bed, keeping her phone with us. Today she came to me and told me he'd texted her again today, and showed me the texts. He asked her if she could keep a secret and started saying all this stuff to her about when he was in school from K through 6th grade he was bullied badly and even considered suicide and she couldn't tell anyone because he couldn't go through that again and would have to kill himself if she told, and how he also has ADHD and OCD and a bunch of stuff like that. She had answered with things like, "I'm sorry," a sad face, whatever. He asked if that was "too much" for her and she said no, and he said, "then you can be my new best friend." I told her she had done the right thing by showing it to me, that he had issues that were not at all appropriate to discuss with a girl who is still just 11 years old, that I did not want her communicating with him any further as she did not need any of this stuff on her shoulders, etc. She was mildly upset/felt a little bad and wanted to know what was she supposed to do, just ignore him, and I said I would discuss it with her father and I was keeping her phone with me for now. I mentioned it to my husband, and I called dd's girl scouts leader, but just got a voicemail and am awaiting a return call. I have her phone in my pocket and he's periodically texting her "What's up" and "hello." Again, I'm going to discuss it with the leader so she can do anything she feels necessary on her end, and I doubt he's going to be at any further girl scout events for quite some time, if ever, but I really don't want him texting her anymore. Who knows what else he might say. Should I text him and say that I am her mother (or father) and that the things he has been telling her are not appropriate and too intense for a girl who isn't even 12 years old yet and that we have told her she is not allowed to text with him anymore, and then hold on to her phone for a couple of days to see if he abides by that? I suppose I could block his number but I'd have to call AT&T, sign up for "smart limits" which has an extra fee each month, and then block him through there once it went through. I guess I may not have much choice, though. What would you do? Please don't quote, I may delete this later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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