teachermom2834 Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I know lots of people here think dating is just for choosing a spouse and there is no point in dating before someone is ready for marriage. That's not really where I'm coming from. I am not a fan of young dating. I see lots of issues and few potential benefits. I would much rather my kids wait until they are out of high school or at least late high school. I am of the position, however, that there is only so much a parent can do to discourage this kind of thing. I've always figured I would allow it little by little once they were high school age with lots of parameters and communication. Well, the time is upon us. My 14.5 yo 9th grade ds has a girl he is interested in. His friends have had girlfriends/ dated for years so it seems normal to him that this could start to move in that direction. I've always told him he had to be mature enough to come talk to me about it and then we'd work out some guidelines that we could all be comfortable with. I don't want to shut down communication by saying "no" to everything or overreacting. I'm also aware of how young he is and I am pretty uncomfortable with it. I am happy he came to me and told me that he likes this girl. (They met through friends at a high school football game and they have texted/facebooked). All of that set up just for perspective on where I am coming from. If you have BTDT from the same perspective I'd love some advice. What guidlines did you set? What did you learn? Did you find a way to give your young teen some freedom and respect their feelings without it getting too much/ too fast? I'd like to hear from anyone who has navigated this (or had trouble with it). Right now I am thinking he could spend time with this girl with our family or go do something with a group of friends we know with us picking up/ dropping off/ knowing all the details of where they will be when. Years ago a mom of many mentioned that her teens could only to teen social stuff on Friday or Saturday and that they had to spend the other night with the family. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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