My son wants to join the Army.

[Kathleen in VA]

Ds21 has always thought he should serve his country. We live near Quantico Marine Base and we've always had good experiences with the Marines - we've lived here since he was 3yo. He joined the Civil Air Patrol (an auxiliary of the U.S. Air Force) when he was 13 and worked his way through the entire cadet program, serving in many leadership positions along the way. He worked at Marine Federal Credit Union for a year and only left because he was in a serious car accident and needed more time to recover than they could do without him. When he recovered he got a job at the Marine Corps Museum at Quantico as the rifle range simulator coordinator. He has always had a serious interest in military history and reads about it for "fun."

 

He had wanted to join the Marines before his accident and was visiting the recruiter at least once a week to discuss his options. He broke his right forearm in the accident in two places and had to have a steel plate with 6 pins surgically attached to the bone. At that time he knew the Marines would not take him.

 

Shortly after that, he began to have severe coughing and wheezing attacks and was diagnosed by both the ER doctor and our family phys. as having asthma. He had suffered from time to time from early childhood with these coughing attacks, but albuterol always cured him. When he talked to the recruiter about that he was told they would not take an asthmatic.

 

He took a methacholine challenge test today and he passed very easily. Apparently whatever causes his attacks is *not* asthma. He said that the Army is not concerned about the metal in his arm as long as he has full range of motion. He will need to have some sort of waiver signed but apparently that is somewhat routine in cases like his.

 

Now he wants to join the Army because of the benefits they are offering - hefty sign-on bonuses and all the other military perks. He wants to use the money for college and to get married (no girl in the picture right now, but he is 21;)). He has already earned 18 college credits and wants to get a degree, but with his medical bills and car related expenses he doesn't make enough money working full-time to pay for school as well. He sees this as his only option to get where he wants to go.

 

Anyway, I am having trouble processing this. I know in my head that he is probably just as likely to get killed driving to work on I-95 every day as he would be in the Army, but just the thought of him being in the military makes it seem worse. Also, we have always heard from military friends and family that it would be better to go in as an officer than to enlist, but, of course, you need a degree to do that.

 

Please pray that I would be supportive - the military has always been his dream - and that I could remain positive and cheerful in spite of my feelings of foreboding. Also, if you have any advice or information you could share about the military I'm :bigear:.

 

Thanks.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

 

Please pray that I would be supportive - the military has always been his dream - and that I could remain positive and cheerful in spite of my feelings of foreboding. Also, if you have any advice or information you could share about the military I'm :bigear:.

 

Thanks.

 

If you want an objective, retired, no-pony-in-this-race former recruiter to talk with him about what to look out for while they are "wooing" him, PM me. Dh recruited for three years and can give some pretty objective counsel to young folks considering the military as an option.

[Mrs Mungo]

Now he wants to join the Army because of the benefits they are offering - hefty sign-on bonuses and all the other military perks. He wants to use the money for college and to get married (no girl in the picture right now, but he is 21;)). He has already earned 18 college credits and wants to get a degree, but with his medical bills and car related expenses he doesn't make enough money working full-time to pay for school as well. He sees this as his only option to get where he wants to go.

 

Anyway, I am having trouble processing this. I know in my head that he is probably just as likely to get killed driving to work on I-95 every day as he would be in the Army, but just the thought of him being in the military makes it seem worse. Also, we have always heard from military friends and family that it would be better to go in as an officer than to enlist, but, of course, you need a degree to do that.

 

Please pray that I would be supportive - the military has always been his dream - and that I could remain positive and cheerful in spite of my feelings of foreboding. Also, if you have any advice or information you could share about the military I'm :bigear:.

 

Thanks.

 

What were his grades like? Has he taken the ASVAB? How did he do? Does he plan on making the Army a career or is he just using it for college?

 

If he's planning on making it a career why not sign on for an ROTC scholarship? They will often give you enough money for school and a living stipend. He could also serve in the Reserves or National Guard as a Cadet while doing ROTC and earn a little more money (and some experience) that way.

[Kathleen in VA]

What were his grades like? Has he taken the ASVAB? How did he do? Does he plan on making the Army a career or is he just using it for college?

 

If he's planning on making it a career why not sign on for an ROTC scholarship? They will often give you enough money for school and a living stipend. He could also serve in the Reserves or National Guard as a Cadet while doing ROTC and earn a little more money (and some experience) that way.

 

He did ok in school. We were very relaxed. All his college credits are CLEP tests. He took the Literature Analysis test and the Sociology test without studying at all and all the others he studied a few hours using Wikipedia as his main resource. We are a "discussing" sort of family and always talk about issues and history and you name it. He did receive the highest CAP award which required him to write an impromptu essay. I am a proofreader/copy editor and he has become one by default:). He scored a 640 on the verbal portion of the SAT, and a 460 on the math portion. He is taking a math course at our local cc to improve his math knowledge right now.

 

He is scheduled to take the ASVAB next Tuesday and something else he called MEPS (I think that has to do with his physical condition).

 

My understanding of ROTC scholarships is they are very competitive and since we went a very informal route with his hs education I did not see how we could compete. It has been a while since I checked into that.

 

He said he didn't want to make the Army his career - just needs the money for college, but I think he may actually like it once he's in there. Here is a link to an article our local paper wrote about him - you can see by looking at him that he has a military sort of demeanor.

 

http://www.fredericksburg.com/News/FLS/2008/032008/03252008/364556

 

Any wisdom you could share would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for your reply.

[Mom to Aly]

Considering the situation right now, and I must say I really don't know anything about the army, or where he would be sent after basic training, how long that takes, etc, if he waited to join until after they started pulling out of Iraq? Maybe that is something you could speak to him about? And doesn't the National Guard also pay for college?

[Mrs Mungo]

He did ok in school. We were very relaxed. All his college credits are CLEP tests. He took the Literature Analysis test and the Sociology test without studying at all and all the others he studied a few hours using Wikipedia as his main resource. We are a "discussing" sort of family and always talk about issues and history and you name it. He did receive the highest CAP award which required him to write an impromptu essay. I am a proofreader/copy editor and he has become one by default:). He scored a 640 on the verbal portion of the SAT, and a 460 on the math portion. He is taking a math course at our local cc to improve his math knowledge right now.

 

He is scheduled to take the ASVAB next Tuesday and something else he called MEPS (I think that has to do with his physical condition).

 

My understanding of ROTC scholarships is they are very competitive and since we went a very informal route with his hs education I did not see how we could compete. It has been a while since I checked into that.

 

He said he didn't want to make the Army his career - just needs the money for college, but I think he may actually like it once he's in there. Here is a link to an article our local paper wrote about him - you can see by looking at him that he has a military sort of demeanor.

 

http://www.fredericksburg.com/News/FLS/2008/032008/03252008/364556

 

Any wisdom you could share would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for your reply.

 

MEPS=Military Entrance Processing Station. He may be going for the physical part but it's a general term. :)

 

He'll probably score well on the ASVAB. All the high school seniors in my high school took it and I scored in the top percentile (and I majored in literature for a reason). It's more logic and reasoning than anything else.

 

Does he know what MOS he is looking at? Keep in mind that the quotas for the recruiters change regularly. What programs will be available to you *will* be affected by the MOS.

 

Keep the military wives here posted. We'll try to help where we can.

 

When my youngest sister's ex decided to join the Army he signed on as a tanker because that offered the biggest bonus. I told him it was a one-way ticket to Iraq but he said the recruiter said he wouldn't be stationed in Iraq. I said "that's because nobody is 'stationed' in Iraq, you get 'stationed' in Texas or Kansas and you *deploy* to Iraq." He didn't believe me, he found out differently.

[Kathleen in VA]

Considering the situation right now, and I must say I really don't know anything about the army, or where he would be sent after basic training, how long that takes, etc, if he waited to join until after they started pulling out of Iraq? Maybe that is something you could speak to him about? And doesn't the National Guard also pay for college?

 

Well, that's certainly what *I'd* prefer:), but I think the main motivation is to get to a place in his life where he can move out, get married and start doing something "real" with his life. Since that pulling out of Iraq thing seems a long way off, I don't think he'd consider it. And our local National Guard unit has been deployed to Iraq several times - not sure that would make any difference. His Civil Air Patrol meets at the National Guard Armory and has for most of the seven years he has been a cadet - he's never expressed an interest in them in all that time, although I really don't know why. Right now, though, the Army is the service that is offering the big bucks as sign-on bonuses.

[GSMP]

Wow....Kathleen...great article on your son. Now I know who to look for when we hit the museum.

 

No advice here, just hugs....:grouphug:

 

He's a very handsome young man...

[Kathleen in VA]

Wow....Kathleen...great article on your son. Now I know who to look for when we hit the museum.

 

No advice here, just hugs....:grouphug:

 

He's a very handsome young man...

 

Thanks, Ginger, you are very sweet to say so. Can't wait to meet you next week. Thanks for the hugs:).

[Amanda's Mommy]

Considering the situation right now, and I must say I really don't know anything about the army, or where he would be sent after basic training, how long that takes, etc, if he waited to join until after they started pulling out of Iraq? Maybe that is something you could speak to him about? And doesn't the National Guard also pay for college?

 

It's the GI Bill. The National Guard does get it.

 

Well, that's certainly what *I'd* prefer:), but I think the main motivation is to get to a place in his life where he can move out, get married and start doing something "real" with his life. Since that pulling out of Iraq thing seems a long way off, I don't think he'd consider it. And our local National Guard unit has been deployed to Iraq several times - not sure that would make any difference. His Civil Air Patrol meets at the National Guard Armory and has for most of the seven years he has been a cadet - he's never expressed an interest in them in all that time, although I really don't know why. Right now, though, the Army is the service that is offering the big bucks as sign-on bonuses.

 

Has he looked at the Air Force or Air National Guard? Also what about the Academies? School is free, you just have to serve so many years after you graduate (maybe 6 years as an officer).

[WagsWife]

First of all, I mean no disrespect to anyone who is in or has a spouse in the Army or Marines. Those two services make sacrifices everyday that most people in the Air Force and Navy will never have to do.

 

That being said...my DH is Security Forces (Cop) in the Air Force. If we had a child who really wanted to go into the military we would *strongly encourage Air Force...then Navy. We would also make sure they had a *GUARANTEED* job (that was *not Security Forces) before he/she signed anything. The tours to Iraq, for the other two services, are not an if...but a when. And the lengths are, at times, three times as long as Air Force deployments.

 

Almost all careers in the Air Force will also deploy, but most won't be as often or for as long. Some careers deploy more than others (cops, civil engineering, readiness), but some careers do not deploy at all (space.)

 

He may not get a big sign on bonus...however he will get the new GI Bill for school and that is *huge!

[Kathleen in VA]

First of all, I mean no disrespect to anyone who is in or has a spouse in the Army or Marines. Those two services make sacrifices everyday that most people in the Air Force and Navy will never have to do.

 

That being said...my DH is Security Forces (Cop) in the Air Force. If we had a child who really wanted to go into the military we would *strongly encourage Air Force...then Navy. We would also make sure they had a *GUARANTEED* job (that was *not Security Forces) before he/she signed anything. The tours to Iraq, for the other two services, are not an if...but a when. And the lengths are, at times, three times as long as Air Force deployments.

 

Almost all careers in the Air Force will also deploy, but most won't be as often or for as long. Some careers deploy more than others (cops, civil engineering, readiness), but some careers do not deploy at all (space.)

 

He may not get a big sign on bonus...however he will get the new GI Bill for school and that is *huge!

 

Thanks for this info. I'm afraid he is highly motivated by the $40,000 sign-on bonus the Army is offering. He wouldn't get that enlisting in the Air Force. I will definitely have him read your post, though. BTW, how do you guarantee a job?

[Mrs Mungo]

It's absolutely true that the Air Force has more non-deployable jobs and shorter deployments. With the Army all of that relies heavily on what sort of unit you are in. At the same time, if he's even thinking of making a career out of it, the Air Force is the harder road as far as getting ahead, especially for enlisted soldiers.

 

Also, it depends upon his attitude about it and what he wants out of it. If he just wants money for college and to serve his country that's a totally different animal from wanting to go out and do "hooah" things (which is part of my hubby's requirement and how he chooses his assignments, lol).

[Colleen]

Thanks for this info. I'm afraid he is highly motivated by the $40,000 sign-on bonus the Army is offering.

 

Same was true for my nephew. He wasn't in college mode and had bills to pay. His own dad (my brother) was in the Air Force, but the Army signing bonus was too hard to resist. He's leaving soon for his second deployment to Iraq in as many years (two years, that is). His brother, on the other hand, was taking the ROTC route until lo and behold, just last month he announced he's dropping out of college after three years. One more year to go and he's dropping out and enlisting instead. Shouldn't be long before he's headed to Iraq as well. Go figure.

 

(((Kathleen)))

[TammyinTN]

Both daughters want to join the military...Army...we are encouraging them to go Air Force. Ron has been in since 1982 in some capacity. He's been reserves, enlisted, done the ROTC route and now an officier. The deployments are long, the hours are longer and it's not the same Army as when he came in. That said, it did provide excellent opportunities for our family but it's hard. He had to work extremely long hours and that hasn't changed much. I'm so on the fence with this post.:001_smile:

[sarahli]

If he can get in as an Army linguist, he is MUCH less likely to deploy to Iraq, unless he scores high on his test and they choose Arabic for him. Even if linguists do get deployed, the army does their best to send them to secured areas only. The training is about a year long. Still, I agree that air force is more family friendly- air force does linguists too, I don't know if the bonuses are the same (the new GI bill of course will be, and there are language bonuses too).

[lynn]

My ds is n JROT andloves it. He plans a military career. It's hard when there is so much going on right now to let these boys make their choice. However it is theres to make. He seems to be making his choice with much thought not out of lack of options as some young men seem to.

[Marie in Oh]

The quality of life, because of what others said-- (shorter deployments, etc. ) is why most call the AF the white collar military. My dh has been an officer for 16 years and has never been deployed. Part of that is because he has several advanced degrees and has been out of the deployment cycle so much because of being enrolled in school. He has many colleagues who have volunteered for deployments because it is good for promotions, but he ain't volunteering for it. He's been promoted to the highest rank he will ever make with no time spent in the desert yet. If he did deploy, which he still could with 4 years left, he'd probably go sit in a building in Afgahnistan reading data. Not terribly dangerous. But with our family structure, we feel God has protected us from long term separations, and when he has had to be gone for a long period of time, we've gone with him. And I am not complaining. ;) But the AF has been very good to us.

 

Just encourage your son to think beyond the money and think what his day to day life would be like, what the liklihood of him getting deployed in a frontline position would be, etc. A young airman, on a base doesn't have alot of expenses. Housing is provided, groceries at the comissary, medical paid for, etc. He could still save lots of money if he is wise and though he'd probably get deployed as an airman, he likely would not get deployed to a front line situation. And the hazardous duty pay while deployed is really good-- and he'd have no reason to spend any money over there either. No signing bonus, but my goodness, the tradeoffs have to be considered.

 

Hope that helps some.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

If you want an objective, retired, no-pony-in-this-race former recruiter to talk with him about what to look out for while they are "wooing" him, PM me. Dh recruited for three years and can give some pretty objective counsel to young folks considering the military as an option.

 

Please take Pam up on this. My dh (retired Navy) has counseled young men where he works who leave for the military. He may have literally saved one young man's life by explaining that he had more options than the recruiter was telling him. This kid was naively ready to sign up for a job that they were trying to fill because of high mortality rates.

[TravelingChris]

I guess I see this differently. My husband is in the USAF and he is an officer serving 21 1/2 years so far. The situation in Iraq has gotten a lot better in the last year. If he serves a number of years, he will get the great new GI Bill benefits. He will be able to buy a house with a VA loan (no money down). I have three children and I would be okay with any of them joining the Army (though it won't happen with the oldest now). He can go ahead and talk to recruiters from the Navy and the AF. If he likes ships, the Navy may be the way to go. He would still get the GI benefits, but not the 40,000 bonus. The National Guard is the one service I would caution against because they get deployed a lot and the benefits and service is much less.

[Kathleen in VA]

Wow, thanks everyone. I appreciate all your comments and advice. Ds is at work right now and won't be home until after 10pm since tonight his Civil Air Patrol night. I have pmed Pam and her dh will be telling my son what the recruiters are "really" saying;). I've always thought the Air Force would be a good fit for ds since CAP is an Air Force civilian auxiliary and since he won his Mitchell award he will automatically go in as an E-3 (I think I have that right) instead of an E-2. But, as you know, the AF doesn't offer the incentives that the Army does. I'm going to make sure he reads all these posts and is informed as he can be.

 

I am going to do some more research of my own today. I sure appreciate all the advice you have sent my way. This has been a real eye-opener. If anyone else cares to put in their 2¢, no matter how little you may feel you have to offer, I'd be grateful.

 

BTW, is there a simple way to print out a thread or do I just copy and paste all these replies into a word processing document and go from there?

[Amanda's Mommy]

First of all, I mean no disrespect to anyone who is in or has a spouse in the Army or Marines. Those two services make sacrifices everyday that most people in the Air Force and Navy will never have to do.

 

That being said...my DH is Security Forces (Cop) in the Air Force. If we had a child who really wanted to go into the military we would *strongly encourage Air Force...then Navy. We would also make sure they had a *GUARANTEED* job (that was *not Security Forces) before he/she signed anything. The tours to Iraq, for the other two services, are not an if...but a when. And the lengths are, at times, three times as long as Air Force deployments.

 

Almost all careers in the Air Force will also deploy, but most won't be as often or for as long. Some careers deploy more than others (cops, civil engineering, readiness), but some careers do not deploy at all (space.)

 

He may not get a big sign on bonus...however he will get the new GI Bill for school and that is *huge!

 

 

The NEW GI Bill doesn't begin until 2009. My DH was just looking at it.

[Kari C in SC]

Kathleen,

 

I read your post, yesterday, and wanted to respond when I had a second to actually think. I finally have a minute today. I wanted to tell you that I know EXACTLY how you feel at this moment. My ds started talking about joining the Marines last year. At the time, I thought it was because he knew we were set to move from FL to SC. I kind of felt like he was using it to just drive me nuts. When we finally moved, he started to change his mind and say Army. No offense to any Marine family here, but I just didn't want him in combat as a Marine. I still was scared to death of him being in the Army. It did not make peace with me over night. It took months and months of watching him prepare. He lost 60 lbs and actually READ the whole ASVAB book. This is my very non-academic child. I thought I would lose my mind trying to get him through high school. As I watched how determined he was, I started to cheer him on. My mom was actually pretty angry with me. She wanted me to keep fighting for him to stay here and go to school for his EMT/Firefighter job. She even offered to help pay for it on her very limited income. At one point, I had to just have a really serious talk with my mom. The talk also helped ME figure all this out. My ds had told me that he wanted to do some kind of medical training EMT, Xray, etc. Something in terms of that. He said he knew there was no way he could work and go to school. He has to work really hard at school. He knew we didn't have the money to support his expenses while was in school, so the military helps with that. When I saw how much he really thought this out, I decided that as hard as it was, I had to let him go. You have to find your own peace with it. I know that it just plain HURTS! It is like a physical lump in my heart when I think of him leaving. My dh and I had this child when we were just shy of 17 and 18. I have been with him for than half of my life. I just can't believe how fast he grew up. I have another little boy that is 3 years old. I made some job decisions awhile and remember telling my boss that I KNOW how fast they grow up and I wasn't missing a minute of my last baby. Anyway, I am rambling - just know that I understand your feelings and will keep you in my prayers.:grouphug: