Funny comments that make me think...

[Amber in SJ]

Comment 1:

 

Last night at a church activity I was approached by one of my dd's youth leaders. She said;

 

"You and your husband have the perfect recipe for raising girls..."

 

At this point I am smiling. Who doesn't like to receive compliments on her parenting skills? But then she went on to say;

 

"Your husband is so loving and nurturing, and you're...not."

 

Huh? I am not loving and nurturing? I have been a SAHM from the moment my eldest was born. I homeschool for heaven's sake.

 

Comment 2:

 

We have had several young families move into our church. I don't always get to meet the parents because I teach a children's Sunday school class. I ran into one of the new moms at the library, introduced myself and invited her to park day.

 

At park day she met the other moms and before she left she told everyone how nice it was to meet all of us and how great it was of me to invite her. She also added, she thought I was nice and not "difficult to get to know" like she had been told. :001_huh:

 

What? I am not difficult to get to know! I even tell total strangers on internet boards about my life!

 

Comment 3:

 

Before eldest dd left for school she & her girlfriends were chatting about how to bring a boy you meet at college home to meet the parents :001_rolleyes:

 

My dd said;

 

"I will tell him my dad will love him, but he will have to impress my mom. Also he can hug my dad but not my mom. She is not a huggy person."

 

I hug my kids all the time! I don't like to be hugged by strangers, that is true, but does anyone really like that?

 

So my questions are:

 

How did my hockey-playing, Harley riding husband become the gentle, nurturing parent?

 

How do I present myself as more warm and approachable when I didn't know people thought otherwise?

 

Should I just let it all go and embrace the fact that apparently I am a quirky, porcupine of a person?

 

I think I am having an identity crisis.

 

Amber in SJ

[OrganicAnn]

I wouldn't change a thing based on some random comments. I would just try to smile at people and be friendly and inviting. You never know why people say or think things. The lady at the park could have confused you with someone else.

 

I remember when my DH and I were dating. He was worried about impressing my dad and I told him he needed to be worried about impressing my mom. My dad liked everyone and my mom was a mom bear.

 

Don't worry. Be happy. Be yourself.

[SKL]

My gut reaction? Just keep being yourself. Not everyone is visibly demonstrative in relationships, especially in public. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

I would chalk it up to a series of foot-in-mouth moments on behalf of some of the folks around you. Maybe there is one busybody out there making stupid comments, but she's being proven wrong, so nobody who matters will care what she says.

[*Michelle*]

 

I would chalk it up to a series of foot-in-mouth moments on behalf of some of the folks around you. Maybe there is one busybody out there making stupid comments, but she's being proven wrong, so nobody who matters will care what she says.

:iagree:

[Elinor Everywhere]

Maybe you are just a no-nonsense, get-things-done personality who fiercely loves her family, enjoys chatting with strangers, and organizes things well?

 

Not one thing wrong with that, if you are. :grouphug:

[hillfarm]

The things you wrote describe me fairly well. I am pretty much "what you see is what you get". It's not a problem for me if some people don't like what they see.

 

If you like who you are and your family is happy with who you are, then be very cautious about making changes based on the offhand comments from people who do not hold key positions in your life.