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Why does everything have to be a big production?


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This might just be the anti-social coming out in me, or maybe I'm just getting too grumpy these days, but my complaint-de-jour is that every activity or "thing" we're involved in has to turn into a big production. Soccer, for example. DD is in soccer at private school. Would it be possible for them to just meet up to play soccer? Apparently not. Every day, there has to be one e-mail (and then 20 Reply-All responses) on one more way we can turn a simple activity into a big production. We have to have a family dinner. And a pizza party. And photos. And monogrammed jackets. And a basket for the Silent Auction. And a (%!@%*^) snack schedule, as if they will perish without a package of Goldfish. :001_rolleyes:

 

I know, I know - I'm a grump. I don't want to eat, drink and sleep with these people every time I turn around. I kind of just like my quiet little life on my secluded lot in the woods with my cats, my GSD and my books, kwim?

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That does sound like a hassle. I have all I can do to keep the schedule to do just the practices and games that soccer season means, and our kids do just go and play soccer. I would go crazy if I had to deal with all of that extra stuff. I am sorry you have to deal with that. It would make me grumpy too. And I am a very social, extrovert. ;)

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I'm with you on this one. I felt like that when my oldest two were in preschool. I couldn't believe how complicated it had to be with the extras that the school wanted parents and themselves to get into. Graduation just about pushed me over the edge.... that was toooo complicated for something the 4 yr olds have no grasp of.

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Argh. Yep, many things in our suburban area are like that. People seemingly don't know what to do by doing 'less', kwim? Drives me nuts.

 

Yes. This exactly. :iagree: I'm into simplicity, but there are a lot of other people who seem to want to consume every moment with busy-ness.

 

A-freakin'-men. I'm tired of the hassle. I also hate that if you don't start a sport while in the womb, you don't stand a chance of making a team.

 

That is often true! It is one of the perks of a private school. There aren't 1000 kids trying to get a spot on the teams.

 

You're not a grump. I am totally with you. Play. soccer.

 

In my world, the complexity of college application is just ridiculous. The hoops to jump through so I can be allowed to send them the bulk of my personal wealth and my son??? THEY oughtta be applying to ME. I'll show THEM hoops. Grr.

 

Ugh! I can totally see that on the horizon. It's beginning now with PSAT registration and just ratchets up in the next two years.

 

Ohhh you sound soo much like me. I agree and I feel your pain. My friends call me a hermit. (I'm not.) Well... who knows, maybe I am :tongue_smilie:

 

Ha! My dh calls me a hermit, too, although he is also an introvert, so he knows about the need for downtime. But he is a bit more of a connector than I am.

 

 

I'm with you on this one. I felt like that when my oldest two were in preschool. I couldn't believe how complicated it had to be with the extras that the school wanted parents and themselves to get into. Graduation just about pushed me over the edge.... that was toooo complicated for something the 4 yr olds have no grasp of.

 

:lol: I can totally imagine it!

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YES! I feel the same way. I could never understand why there is "snack time" at youth symphony when the practices are 90 minutes long. Kids can't go 90 minutes without a snack??

 

You're singing my song. What is up with the stinkin' snack? And it's weird to me how some sports (baseball, wrestling) that are way longer and/or more draining than soccer don't have a snack typically, but for some reason, soccer alone supposedly "requires" refueling.

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I'm with you. I'd rather keep everything simple.

 

My husband is in a committee. They had a meeting to decide when they would have a meeting. Then they had a meeting to get the terms of reference. Then a meeting to confirm nominations for office bearers. He's up to the fourth meeting and they have yet to address the issue for which the committee was formed.

 

My other pet peeve is having to arrive early for things and then stand around waiting. Typically, the event might be at 10.00 and they ask you to arrive at 9.30. We bust our guts trying to get there on time, only to find that people wander in at random times, and at 10.15 somebody says we'll get started soon, and it's closer to 10.30 before the activity actually begins. Why can't they just say 10 and everybody comes by then?

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I'm with you. I'd rather keep everything simple.

 

My husband is in a committee. They had a meeting to decide when they would have a meeting. Then they had a meeting to get the terms of reference. Then a meeting to confirm nominations for office bearers. He's up to the fourth meeting and they have yet to address the issue for which the committee was formed.

 

My other pet peeve is having to arrive early for things and then stand around waiting. Typically, the event might be at 10.00 and they ask you to arrive at 9.30. We bust our guts trying to get there on time, only to find that people wander in at random times, and at 10.15 somebody says we'll get started soon, and it's closer to 10.30 before the activity actually begins. Why can't they just say 10 and everybody comes by then?

 

Oh. my. word. Are the other people lonely? Don't they have a life, too?

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Yup. Totally agree. Everything around here has to be so complicated and time-consuming. It really makes you want to limit what you do outside the house.

 

:iagree: and that's exactly what I do. It really stresses me out. And it's exhausting. Financially and mentally/emotionally.

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I agree. I started a very low-key homeschool group in part because i just wanted a group where people could connect, in a mellow way, without obligations or extra duties. It is also why i like inline hockey-i show up, kid gets in the rink, I read a book, kid finishes practice. That s it. I say hi to the other moms if i am in the mood, but there isnt a lot of high expectation.

 

Ad i was always the mom who forgot e soccer snack....oh, the looks i got! :tongue_smilie:

Edited by Halcyon
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This might just be the anti-social coming out in me, or maybe I'm just getting too grumpy these days, but my complaint-de-jour is that every activity or "thing" we're involved in has to turn into a big production. Soccer, for example. DD is in soccer at private school. Would it be possible for them to just meet up to play soccer? Apparently not. Every day, there has to be one e-mail (and then 20 Reply-All responses) on one more way we can turn a simple activity into a big production. We have to have a family dinner. And a pizza party. And photos. And monogrammed jackets. And a basket for the Silent Auction. And a (%!@%*^) snack schedule, as if they will perish without a package of Goldfish. :001_rolleyes:

 

I know, I know - I'm a grump. I don't want to eat, drink and sleep with these people every time I turn around. I kind of just like my quiet little life on my secluded lot in the woods with my cats, my GSD and my books, kwim?

 

I am SO there with you! I could have written this post :D

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I read something that said, "Busy is the new rich". It is no longer 'in fashion' to brag about how much money you have so now people brag about how busy they are. I think that is why things get over-complicated.

 

And I hate that everything has to include a snack, too!

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A couple of years ago, I was looking at one of those parenting magazines in the doctor's waiting room, and they had this "recipe" idea:

 

Take a bunch of those tiny clay plant pots and fill them with hummus. Then take some baby carrots, poke holes in the ends, and insert a little sprig of parsley in each one (to look like a carrot top). Then you stick the carrots in the hummus, so it looks like they're growing in the ground.

 

I thought this might be cute for a birthday party (e.g., bunny or garden theme), but they suggested it for a snack to bring to your child's preschool. I still can't wrap my head around that. :001_huh: During the very brief period my eldest was in preschool, I thought I was doing well if I cut the bunch of grapes up into individual servings. :D

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My husband is in a committee. They had a meeting to decide when they would have a meeting. Then they had a meeting to get the terms of reference. Then a meeting to confirm nominations for office bearers. He's up to the fourth meeting and they have yet to address the issue for which the committee was formed.

 

Is your husband in Congress? :001_huh:

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Why! Why! Why?!?!? Do they need snacks all the frickin time?!?! It's like they are hobbits or something. Good grief. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, after school snack, scouting snack, coop snack, dinner, after dinner snack, potluck, after game pizza, cookies and candy for treats ...

 

And why can't any kid just drink water?!?! No, I'm not buying punch, crystal light, pop, or anything else.

 

I don't remember ever eating like that as a kid. Snack and treats were maybe a once a month treat at school, or after a big game or whatever. It was a big deal, not a multiple times a day expectation. And of course you can't actually bake any of it. It must be prepackaged crap from the store, which I almost never buy, is even more unhealthy, and about triple the cost.

 

Bah. Humbug.:tongue_smilie:

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Yes! My cousin told me when my oldest was 3 that if I didn't get her on a pee-wee soccer team now it would be too late to get her on a "good" team. Give me a break. We are not participating in soccer for a number of reasons but a lot of the reasons listed are why I, as the parent, am avoiding it!

 

Can we add birthday parties for very young children to the overkill list? I can't believe the expense, drama and over-stimulation at some of these events and for little, little kids! $1000 and 30 kids is too much, in my opinion. Everything always has to be the biggest and best for parents to think kids are going to have a good time. At my daughter's last party we played old-fashioned games like duck-duck-goose, egg and spoon race and musical chairs and the kids had a blast!

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Yes! My cousin told me when my oldest was 3 that if I didn't get her on a pee-wee soccer team now it would be too late to get her on a "good" team. Give me a break. We are not participating in soccer for a number of reasons but a lot of the reasons listed are why I, as the parent, am avoiding it!

 

Can we add birthday parties for very young children to the overkill list? I can't believe the expense, drama and over-stimulation at some of these events and for little, little kids! $1000 and 30 kids is too much, in my opinion. Everything always has to be the biggest and best for parents to think kids are going to have a good time. At my daughter's last party we played old-fashioned games like duck-duck-goose, egg and spoon race and musical chairs and the kids had a blast!

 

We don't even play games at ours! Oh, the horror! :svengo: :lol: :D

Now that the boys are older, we take a couple friends and go do something - laser tag or even just going to eat at McDonald's (that's all Astro wanted last year - McDonald's!) But up til then we invited our family over (sometimes a couple friends, if the kids had people they wanted to invite) and the kids played, we ate, and that was it. :D

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Yes to all of this!

 

The soccer snack schedule. G-R-O-A-N. Who are these parents that come up with this stuff? If they have enough time to draw up, produce, and distribute snack schedules they have enough time to just collect $5 from everyone and buy some junk food snacks in bulk. We live five houses away from the fields. Without snack time we're away from home for 45 minutes. With snack it's 1:15. Why can't everyone just bring they're own snack or, I don't know, eat at mealtimes?

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I think it is pretty crazy. When my mom was a kid, she played softball on the local team. They got a hat and took themselves to a practice and game once a week or occasionally more, and at the end of the summer there was a little tournament and the winners got medals.

 

When I played they had full uniforms, and the tournament was bigger and longer, and everyone got a medal and it was expensive compared to when my mom played.

 

Now there are skills camps, and bus trips, and fundraising to pay for it all, and parents all stay and watch all the kids practices and games after driving them there. And it is still expensive despite the fundraising.

 

I wonder if it is because people always feel they need to push to make things "better"?

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Well here in Aus it's not so common to go all out like that BUT I have seen it becoming more and more common.

 

My DD has a 2 hour art class 10-12 which if I feed her breakfast before hand she is perfectly able to go that long without a snack.

 

However all the other mums brought a snack for their kids and asked the teacher to break at the 1 hour mark so their kids could eat :001_huh:

 

My DD is often standing at the table on her own working on her art whilst all the other kids are eating outside. :001_smile:

 

Of course because the other kids were all eating my kids soon were asking for snacks and I was getting the hairy eyeball from other mums for not feeding my kids :tongue_smilie:

 

And whats more it seemed like snack time was like some crazy competition for the mums - they didn't just bring snack -they brought so much food its what I would have eaten for lunch :lol: Each snack time was like a big unveiling as each mum pulled back the covers of their lunchbox to reveal just how fabulous a mum they were because of all the either super healthy or fancy snack they made. I kid you not -people would ohh and ahh over other peoples snack - you got bonus ohhs and squeals of approval if you announced that you didn't even make it yourself -your DH got up early and made it for them :lol:

 

And then the whole snack time the mums would discuss who had the child with the most allergies and who was on what special diet and what a trial it was and soooo expensive "but it must be done to keep junior healthy so I put up with it"

 

I just handed my kids a mini pack of Oreo's and an apple if they ask for snack and again got the hairy eyeball for failing to make the grade - one was unhealthy and the other was lazy :lol:

Edited by sewingmama
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I read something that said, "Busy is the new rich". It is no longer 'in fashion' to brag about how much money you have so now people brag about how busy they are. I think that is why things get over-complicated.

 

:iagree: That is totally the mode of living in our neck of the woods. Sometimes I feel like we're the only people who try to avoid that type of lifestyle.

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Well here in Aus it's not so common to go all out like that BUT I have seen it becoming more and more common.

 

My DD has a 2 hour art class 10-12 which if I feed her breakfast before hand she is perfectly able to go that long without a snack.

 

However all the other mums brought a snack for their kids and asked the teacher to break at the 1 hour mark so their kids could eat :001_huh:

 

My DD is often standing at the table on her own working on her art whilst all the other kids are eating outside. :001_smile:

 

Of course because the other kids were all eating my kids soon were asking for snacks and I was getting the hairy eyeball from other mums for not feeding my kids :tongue_smilie:

 

And whats more it seemed like snack time was like some crazy competition for the mums - they didn't just bring snack -they brought so much food its what I would have eaten for lunch :lol: Each snack time was like a big unveiling as each mum pulled back the covers of their lunchbox to reveal just how fabulous a mum they were because of all the either super healthy or fancy snack they made. I kid you not -people would ohh and ahh over other peoples snack - you got bonus ohhs and squeals of approval if you announced that you didn't even make it yourself -your DH got up early and made it for them :lol:

 

And then the whole snack time the mums would discuss who had the child with the most allergies and who was on what special diet and what a trial it was and soooo expensive "but it must be done to keep junior healthy so I put up with it"

 

I just handed my kids a mini pack of Oreo's and an apple if they ask for snack and again got the hairy eyeball :lol:

 

Wow! Maybe the whole snack thing is something we should look at with relation to obesity?

 

There do seem to be some weird competitive things going on these days with food and diets. Sometimes it seems to me like there is a contest to see who has cut out the most stuff. I won't be surprised to one day meet a mom who tells me her kids can only eat air.

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This might just be the anti-social coming out in me, or maybe I'm just getting too grumpy these days, but my complaint-de-jour is that every activity or "thing" we're involved in has to turn into a big production. Soccer, for example. DD is in soccer at private school. Would it be possible for them to just meet up to play soccer? Apparently not. Every day, there has to be one e-mail (and then 20 Reply-All responses) on one more way we can turn a simple activity into a big production. We have to have a family dinner. And a pizza party. And photos. And monogrammed jackets. And a basket for the Silent Auction. And a (%!@%*^) snack schedule, as if they will perish without a package of Goldfish. :001_rolleyes:

 

I know, I know - I'm a grump. I don't want to eat, drink and sleep with these people every time I turn around. I kind of just like my quiet little life on my secluded lot in the woods with my cats, my GSD and my books, kwim?

 

I grumpy right there with you. I feel *exactly* the same way. I mean I do want my kids to have fun things to do, but they make SO much more work for the parents. Both my kids' private schools have a "family picnic" :ack2:

 

When the kids begin to tell me about this stuff, they say to me "Mom, don't get mad but....." Yeah, they know me.

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I so totally agree. My son's soccer team has two snacks! One is for halftime and the other is for after the game. And that is not all. Even though the coach asks the kids all to bring their own water bottle, we are expected to bring a drink for each kid. All for one stinking hour of exercise. And it isn't the coach who is coming up with this stuff. It is the unwritten rule of the league.

 

Yes, the parties and candy and expectations around children's activities are crazy. The year my daughter turned 6 six we gave her a simple party with very simple games. The kids declared it the best party ever Her classmate had a party that lasted several hours and included a party at home, a mid sized creative project and a trip to one of the Great Lakes about an hour away. Sweet family, but holy cow.

 

And what is up with all the senior year activities? Do these kids seriously need a fall retreat, senior banquet, senior trip, and a grad bash! That is along with all the normal stuff like homecoming, graduation, and grad parties. We pay enough just for tuition and now we have to tell our kid not to expect us to shell out an extra $500 to $1000 for all this stuff.

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I am so glad we have opted out of most of this junk. Here are my bugaboos:

 

1) Snacks for one hour practice/game/activity. Really? (We all complained about this one, I see)

 

2) Water bottles have to accompany every.single.activity. As if we live in the middle of the Sahara and my child will drop from dehydration within 45 minutes. Even sillier, water bottles a "must" where there are drinking fountains right there.

 

3) "Play dates" and the insistence that your kid is deprived if they don't have enough of them...even if they are 1 year old.

 

4) Goodie Bags after a birthday party. I am "that mom" who has staunchly held my ground and not allowed myself to feel obligated to spend $50 on goodie bags for party attendees. Ridiculous.

 

5) Activities every day, all year long. When do your kids get to just play?

 

6) Photos. When we were in school, get this, there were TWICE a year photos. Every sport there is a photo package that costs a gazillion dollars. We did school pics the first couple of years, but by the time we got to 3 kids with bad photo packages that cost $20-$30 each, we opted out. Man, did I get the looks from people over that one...HORRIBLE Mommy who doesn't care to preserve her kid for all eternity, despite the fact that I have hundreds of far better photos taken that are not stilted studio-esque pics.

 

7) Being asked to volunteer for everything, and getting snotty looks if you say politely "I really am overbooked and I just can't add one more thing right now." Usually the person asking has one child, or is older and at church has no children. I AM TIRED AND I DO A LOT! I volunteer in many directions, but sometimes I can't take on even one more thing.

 

8) How many times do you need my child's birth certificate to prove how old they are? Can't your league/group/camp keep them on file?

 

Modern parenting can just go so far overboard sometimes.

 

Cindy

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This might just be the anti-social coming out in me, or maybe I'm just getting too grumpy these days, but my complaint-de-jour is that every activity or "thing" we're involved in has to turn into a big production. Soccer, for example. DD is in soccer at private school. Would it be possible for them to just meet up to play soccer? Apparently not. Every day, there has to be one e-mail (and then 20 Reply-All responses) on one more way we can turn a simple activity into a big production. We have to have a family dinner. And a pizza party. And photos. And monogrammed jackets. And a basket for the Silent Auction. And a (%!@%*^) snack schedule, as if they will perish without a package of Goldfish. :001_rolleyes:

 

I know, I know - I'm a grump. I don't want to eat, drink and sleep with these people every time I turn around. I kind of just like my quiet little life on my secluded lot in the woods with my cats, my GSD and my books, kwim?

 

:iagree:No, I don't think it's you.

 

Sigh. We signed the girls up for soccer this year (first year), because according to the website, it involved a simple Saturday morning practice & game, at the same girls' field for all levels, with competent coaches who knew the game.

 

THEN the emails began.

 

  • "We've merged the boys' league with the girls' league, so there will be some redistribution of fields and coaches."
  • "We don't have enough parent-coaches, so even if you know NOTHING about soccer, please consider signing up to coach."
  • "All parents are responsible for working some shifts at the snack bar before, during, and after games."
  • Practices for Division 1 (or maybe A? or B? or 6? -- not sure, it kept changing) will be at ______ Field. Practices for Division ___ (still not certain) will be at ______ Field. I am one parent, with a husband who travels more often than not, with three children, possibly, though not certainly, in different Divisions. :tongue_smilie::confused:
  • Optional pre-season practices -- these emails went out AFTER the pre-season practice dates.
  • Team photos on _____ at ____ pm. Bring $_____.
  • Team pizza party kick-off at ____. Bring $_____.
  • Sunday practices and games. We're not sure when/how/if these were added, but the Sunday practices and/or games ruled it out for us.
  • Mid-Week Practices, to be determined by the coaches (if there were any coaches), to be held on whatever night of the week convenient to the coach. This also ruled it out for us, since we had a prior commitment for each Wednesday night.
  • "Due to low/late enrollment this year (Surprise, Surprise, Surprise), we've had to again reconfigure the teams. New teams rosters will be coming out before the start date, and coaches will contact you."
  • I admit, I was a bit surprised at the overall seeming incompetence of the people running the league(s), but they were very polite about cancelling our registration, so no harm done. I think they realized this year had some glitches.

So... what began as a quest for 9-10 weeks of simple, Saturday morning exercise -- you know, kids running around a field kicking a soccer ball? -- ended in us deciding it wasn't a good fit for our family this year. At least we got our money back. And that will buy a lot of soccer balls! :D

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Around here, the party/goodie bag mentality even extends to those 30 - 45 minute weekly community center classes for the little ones. Some of the parents will bring treat bags for the whole group when it's their child's birthday. And then there are the parents and teachers who supply cookies and candy at Valentine's Day, Halloween, Easter, end of the session, etc. Times 2 or 3, if your child takes more than one class. Times 4 or 5, if you bring siblings to pick-up and the grown-ups don't want them to feel left out.

 

If I had let my tiny 3 year old eat all of the stuff she was given just at her ballet and gymnastics classes, that would have been her junk food allowance for the entire year.

 

I agree with the PP who said it's as if each of these activities wants to be your whole life. :confused:

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I say do something about it!! When I took over as a Cub Scout leader snacks git the ax. We meet from 6-7 pm so the kids either just ate or would eat right after. Everyone was relieved. We do snacks once a month at pack meetings. This month is popcorn and lemonade. Easy, light, cheap. For prizes (birthdays, etc) I do sporks - scouty, cheap, and not candy. This year I'll coach basketball and the rule will be a bottle of water and fruit or no snacks. Games only. Suggest a change - its likely everyone will agree with you.

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3) "Play dates" and the insistence that your kid is deprived if they don't have enough of them...even if they are 1 year old.

 

 

 

I actively sought out play dates and play groups before my eldest was 1... For ME.... it was how I met people, made friends with people whose children were close in age to mine. I moved to a new town when my eldest was 8 months old and knew NO one.... It really helped finding an organized play group. Some of the moms I met in play groups are still my friends now (and the oldest is almost done with college).

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Well here in Aus it's not so common to go all out like that BUT I have seen it becoming more and more common.

 

Fight back! Fight back while you can! :lol:

 

My DD has a 2 hour art class 10-12 which if I feed her breakfast before hand she is perfectly able to go that long without a snack.

 

:iagree:

 

Two hours after breakfast = Nothing but water is needed.

 

Two hours after lunch = "You may get an apple from the basket, be sure to wash it first."

;) And we wonder why American children are increasingly overweight. ;)

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I so totally agree. My son's soccer team has two snacks! One is for halftime and the other is for after the game. And that is not all. Even though the coach asks the kids all to bring their own water bottle, we are expected to bring a drink for each kid. All for one stinking hour of exercise. And it isn't the coach who is coming up with this stuff. It is the unwritten rule of the league.

 

Crazy, isn't it? And that is why we pulled the girls from soccer, even before it began. For the past several weeks, we've had lovely early autumn weather. They've been playing for HOURS each day (except for one really rainy day) out in their own backyard, needing nothing but water, water, water and numerous trips to the bathroom. :lol:

 

And warm, soapy baths in the afternoon, before they have a nap. They nap every day. In fact, they're sleeping now. So is my husband. :D We're not too busy for naps here, and I feel rich because we're not busy.

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Why! Why! Why?!?!? Do they need snacks all the frickin time?!?! It's like they are hobbits or something. Good grief. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, after school snack, scouting snack, coop snack, dinner, after dinner snack, potluck, after game pizza, cookies and candy for treats ...

 

And why can't any kid just drink water?!?! No, I'm not buying punch, crystal light, pop, or anything else.

 

I don't remember ever eating like that as a kid. Snack and treats were maybe a once a month treat at school, or after a big game or whatever. It was a big deal, not a multiple times a day expectation. And of course you can't actually bake any of it. It must be prepackaged crap from the store, which I almost never buy, is even more unhealthy, and about triple the cost.

 

Bah. Humbug.:tongue_smilie:

Ayah! Then they complain because kids are getting obese. :rolleyes:

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Oh. my. word. Are the other people lonely? Don't they have a life, too?

I've wondered that about our lacrosse parents. Don't they already have friends? Because lax season - while rather short - keeps us so busy, I miss my friends. I don't want to suck up more time socializing with other people.

Well here in Aus it's not so common to go all out like that BUT I have seen it becoming more and more common.

 

My DD has a 2 hour art class 10-12 which if I feed her breakfast before hand she is perfectly able to go that long without a snack.

 

However all the other mums brought a snack for their kids and asked the teacher to break at the 1 hour mark so their kids could eat :001_huh:

 

My DD is often standing at the table on her own working on her art whilst all the other kids are eating outside. :001_smile:

 

Of course because the other kids were all eating my kids soon were asking for snacks and I was getting the hairy eyeball from other mums for not feeding my kids :tongue_smilie:

 

And whats more it seemed like snack time was like some crazy competition for the mums - they didn't just bring snack -they brought so much food its what I would have eaten for lunch :lol: Each snack time was like a big unveiling as each mum pulled back the covers of their lunchbox to reveal just how fabulous a mum they were because of all the either super healthy or fancy snack they made. I kid you not -people would ohh and ahh over other peoples snack - you got bonus ohhs and squeals of approval if you announced that you didn't even make it yourself -your DH got up early and made it for them :lol:

 

And then the whole snack time the mums would discuss who had the child with the most allergies and who was on what special diet and what a trial it was and soooo expensive "but it must be done to keep junior healthy so I put up with it"

 

I just handed my kids a mini pack of Oreo's and an apple if they ask for snack and again got the hairy eyeball for failing to make the grade - one was unhealthy and the other was lazy :lol:

I think the bolded is part of the "my child is a special snowflake" mentality. If you can have expectations of your child's <performance, behavior, civility, whatever> you have to have some other reason for them to stand out amongst their drab peers. (Yes, I know people have legitimate allergies and other diagnoses. I am referring to the people who approach their kids' health as a competitive sport.)

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Why! Why! Why?!?!? Do they need snacks all the frickin time?!?! It's like they are hobbits or something. Good grief. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, after school snack, scouting snack, coop snack, dinner, after dinner snack, potluck, after game pizza, cookies and candy for treats ...

 

And why can't any kid just drink water?!?! No, I'm not buying punch, crystal light, pop, or anything else.

 

I don't remember ever eating like that as a kid. Snack and treats were maybe a once a month treat at school, or after a big game or whatever. It was a big deal, not a multiple times a day expectation. And of course you can't actually bake any of it. It must be prepackaged crap from the store, which I almost never buy, is even more unhealthy, and about triple the cost.

 

 

Yes, exactly. And the bolded is part of my complaint. I try to reduce trash within my own family. Aren't we all supposed to be saving the earth? ;) Every soccer game, we end up with 15 empty drink containers and whatever the other snack trash is.

 

Yes! My cousin told me when my oldest was 3 that if I didn't get her on a pee-wee soccer team now it would be too late to get her on a "good" team. Give me a break. We are not participating in soccer for a number of reasons but a lot of the reasons listed are why I, as the parent, am avoiding it!

 

Can we add birthday parties for very young children to the overkill list? I can't believe the expense, drama and over-stimulation at some of these events and for little, little kids! $1000 and 30 kids is too much, in my opinion. Everything always has to be the biggest and best for parents to think kids are going to have a good time. At my daughter's last party we played old-fashioned games like duck-duck-goose, egg and spoon race and musical chairs and the kids had a blast!

 

I hear ya on that one, too. I've been to a couple that were absolutely ghastly.

 

 

And then the whole snack time the mums would discuss who had the child with the most allergies and who was on what special diet and what a trial it was and soooo expensive "but it must be done to keep junior healthy so I put up with it"

 

I just handed my kids a mini pack of Oreo's and an apple if they ask for snack and again got the hairy eyeball for failing to make the grade - one was unhealthy and the other was lazy

 

That is totally true. I've seen that happen!

 

I grumpy right there with you. I feel *exactly* the same way. I mean I do want my kids to have fun things to do, but they make SO much more work for the parents. Both my kids' private schools have a "family picnic"

 

When the kids begin to tell me about this stuff, they say to me "Mom, don't get mad but....." Yeah, they know me.

 

:lol:

 

And what is up with all the senior year activities? Do these kids seriously need a fall retreat, senior banquet, senior trip, and a grad bash! That is along with all the normal stuff like homecoming, graduation, and grad parties. We pay enough just for tuition and now we have to tell our kid not to expect us to shell out an extra $500 to $1000 for all this stuff.

 

:iagree: That's how I feel: I'm a walking wallet.

 

I'm with you. I am soooo over the snacks at games. If you kid wants a snack, bring it. I loathe buying snacks for the games. I also loathe how some parents go way over the top with snacks, and fill them with soda and candy.

 

Seriously. Why can't people just do this?

 

I am so glad we have opted out of most of this junk. Here are my bugaboos:

 

1) Snacks for one hour practice/game/activity. Really? (We all complained about this one, I see)

 

2) Water bottles have to accompany every.single.activity. As if we live in the middle of the Sahara and my child will drop from dehydration within 45 minutes. Even sillier, water bottles a "must" where there are drinking fountains right there.

 

3) "Play dates" and the insistence that your kid is deprived if they don't have enough of them...even if they are 1 year old.

 

4) Goodie Bags after a birthday party. I am "that mom" who has staunchly held my ground and not allowed myself to feel obligated to spend $50 on goodie bags for party attendees. Ridiculous.

 

5) Activities every day, all year long. When do your kids get to just play?

 

6) Photos. When we were in school, get this, there were TWICE a year photos. Every sport there is a photo package that costs a gazillion dollars. We did school pics the first couple of years, but by the time we got to 3 kids with bad photo packages that cost $20-$30 each, we opted out. Man, did I get the looks from people over that one...HORRIBLE Mommy who doesn't care to preserve her kid for all eternity, despite the fact that I have hundreds of far better photos taken that are not stilted studio-esque pics.

 

7) Being asked to volunteer for everything, and getting snotty looks if you say politely "I really am overbooked and I just can't add one more thing right now." Usually the person asking has one child, or is older and at church has no children. I AM TIRED AND I DO A LOT! I volunteer in many directions, but sometimes I can't take on even one more thing.

 

8) How many times do you need my child's birth certificate to prove how old they are? Can't your league/group/camp keep them on file?

 

Modern parenting can just go so far overboard sometimes.

 

Cindy

 

Yep. That is what I think also. And - I really love the church that I go to, but honestly, they do this, too. The constant begging for volunteers and support for everything under the sun. It really gets to me. I really *don't* have hours I can carve out of every week - and yes, I know that many others are equally busy - but I can't invent time where time does not exist.

 

I say do something about it!! When I took over as a Cub Scout leader snacks git the ax. We meet from 6-7 pm so the kids either just ate or would eat right after. Everyone was relieved. We do snacks once a month at pack meetings. This month is popcorn and lemonade. Easy, light, cheap. For prizes (birthdays, etc) I do sporks - scouty, cheap, and not candy. This year I'll coach basketball and the rule will be a bottle of water and fruit or no snacks. Games only. Suggest a change - its likely everyone will agree with you.

 

My dh has managed this very nicely. With ds12's soccer, he shut down the "soccer snack schedule" on the first practice and got the hairy eyeball from the better-bred moms. ;) I'm so grateful he doesn't care if they like him or not.

 

With my dd's team, I was "thisclose" to sending an e-mail out about snacks at the beginning when Do-Gooder-Organized-Mom first sent through the "Here's a list of games; please sign up for snacks, half-time oranges and drinks." I quietly refused. I never signed up, even after repeated begging, "...there are still a few games with no snack person..." I wish I had sent the e-mail I thought about sending, but I didn't because I'm new there and I don't want to be thought badly of. :tongue_smilie:

 

And if you can even believe it, since putting up this OP, we have received yet another obligatory party e-mail. The coach is pregnant, so "we're" giving her a surprise baby shower after a game. So...sign up for food, drinks, a centerpiece, decorating...:rolleyes: Oh, and bring $5-$15. Plus, this is where she's registered. :banghead:

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And if you can even believe it, since putting up this OP, we have received yet another obligatory party e-mail. The coach is pregnant, so "we're" giving her a surprise baby shower after a game. So...sign up for food, drinks, a centerpiece, decorating...:rolleyes: Oh, and bring $5-$15. Plus, this is where she's registered. :banghead:

 

:blink: Wow.

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