PSA Regarding Guest Books

[Desert Rat]

When signing guest books for memorial services or funerals, please write legibly. And please fill in the address line.

 

I've written out 50 thank you notes and have to hunt down addies for the remaining 50. I'm so overwhelmed.

 

Etiquette, schmetiquette.

[gaillardia]

I didn't know you were supposed to send a card to every single person who came to the visitation or funeral or signed the guest book. I personally wouldn't ever expect a thank you from the family for going to it. I wish you would give yourself a break and not worry about sending a card to these people, unless they sent flowers too. Then the florists should have their addresses. You didn't ask. Sending a thank you to the pallbearers, yes. My dh did it for my nephew and my sister sent him a heart-felt thank you, which we hadn't expected.

I'm sorry for your loss of a loved one.:grouphug:

[cindergretta]

I didn't know you were supposed to send a card to every single person who came to the visitation or funeral or signed the guest book. I personally wouldn't ever expect a thank you from the family for going to it. I wish you would give yourself a break and not worry about sending a card to these people, unless they sent flowers too. Then the florists should have their addresses. You didn't ask. Sending a thank you to the pallbearers, yes. My dh did it for my nephew and my sister sent him a heart-felt thank you, which we hadn't expected.

I'm sorry for your loss of a loved one.:grouphug:

 

:iagree: :grouphug:

[Plink]

I didn't know you were supposed to send a card to every single person who came to the visitation or funeral or signed the guest book. I personally wouldn't ever expect a thank you from the family for going to it.

 

I am in the same position. I'v never heard of that, and to be quite honest, I think that is an insane demand to place on a grieving family.

 

Please treat yourself kindly. You deserve it. :grouphug:

Edited September 20, 2012 by LibertyH

[FaithManor]

When signing guest books for memorial services or funerals, please write legibly. And please fill in the address line.

 

I've written out 50 thank you notes and have to hunt down addies for the remaining 50. I'm so overwhelmed.

 

Etiquette, schmetiquette.

 

 

Kalah, it isn't funeral "protocol" to send private notes to every person who attends. Let yourself off on this and get some rest. :grouphug:

 

Faith

[Dobela]

Kalah, it isn't funeral "protocol" to send private notes to every person who attends. Let yourself off on this and get some rest. :grouphug:

 

Faith

:iagree:You send thank yous to people who sent flowers and gifts only.

[*********]

Agreeing with everyone else, Kalah. Please don't sweat it. :grouphug:

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[G5052]

For both of my parents, I wrote the majority of the thank you notes, and I certainly didn't send them to everyone who came. We had 800 people at my father-in-law's funeral twelve years ago, and we did not send them out to everyone there either.

 

We did send them to:

 

• The funeral director
  
• The church (also a donation to cover cleaning expenses)
  
• The minister (paid travel expenses and gave a donation)
  
• Musicians (also a gift card to say thank you)
  
• The florist
  
• Those who provided reception food
  
• The facilities who took care of them in their last days (also a donation for the staff)
  
• The hospice nurse
  
• Those who sent donations to various organization in their name
  
• Family friends who travelled to be there
  

[Jen+4dc]

I didn't know you were supposed to send a card to every single person who came to the visitation or funeral or signed the guest book. I personally wouldn't ever expect a thank you from the family for going to it. I wish you would give yourself a break and not worry about sending a card to these people, unless they sent flowers too. Then the florists should have their addresses. You didn't ask. Sending a thank you to the pallbearers, yes. My dh did it for my nephew and my sister sent him a heart-felt thank you, which we hadn't expected.

I'm sorry for your loss of a loved one.:grouphug:

:iagree:

 

I am in the same position. I'v never heard of that, and to be quite honest, I think that is an insane demand to place on a grieving family.

 

Please treat yourself kindly. You deserve it. :grouphug:

:iagree:

 

Thank yous only need to be for those who sent something ($ or flowers) not for mere attendance! I like GVA's list.

[Kathryn]

Kalah, it isn't funeral "protocol" to send private notes to every person who attends. Let yourself off on this and get some rest. :grouphug:

 

Faith

 

:iagree: I have never heard of or received a thank you for attending a funeral (or a wedding for that matter). :grouphug:

[Desert Rat]

Hmm. Maybe it's a regional thing?

We received 100 preprinted thank you notes (so don't worry, I'm not writing in every single one!) with the "package deal". Mom wants all to go out to every person that attended or sent cards. And lots of people did donate to his charity.

All the funerals I've attended in the past 10 years here, I've received a thank you note for attending or even received a thank you for the cards I've sent (and didn't attend).

Thanks everyone!

I've already got a lot of them done. I'm not stressing about it. When they get done, they get done. I work on them when I'm watching tv at night, usually. I just didn't recognize half the people at his service and I was greeted with lots of squiggly signatures when I opened the guest book. I wish I knew who they were.

[fairfarmhand]

don't. Every single person in that book wants you to rest and grieve. They don't want you sweating about addresses.

[*********]

Hmm. Maybe it's a regional thing?

We received 100 preprinted thank you notes (so don't worry, I'm not writing in every single one!) with the "package deal". Mom wants all to go out to every person that attended or sent cards. And lots of people did donate to his charity.

All the funerals I've attended in the past 10 years here, I've received a thank you note for attending or even received a thank you for the cards I've sent (and didn't attend).

Thanks everyone!

I've already got a lot of them done. I'm not stressing about it. When they get done, they get done. I work on them when I'm watching tv at night, usually. I just didn't recognize half the people at his service and I was greeted with lots of squiggly signatures when I opened the guest book. I wish I knew who they were.

 

I think everyone's saying Kalah, that you should do it if it will make you and your mom happy, but if there's people who just scrawled a signature on the guest book and didn't even leave an address, we don't want you to stress over that. It's ok if not every single person who attended and scrawled in the book gets a thank you note. But if you WANT to do it, you should.

 

That's all. :grouphug: We want you to take care of yourself. The Lord knows I don't want to even think about that for my dad right now.

[Unicorn.]

I think everyone's saying Kalah, that you should do it if it will make you and your mom happy, but if there's people who just scrawled a signature on the guest book and didn't even leave an address, we don't want you to stress over that. It's ok if not every single person who attended and scrawled in the book gets a thank you note. But if you WANT to do it, you should.

 

That's all. :grouphug: We want you to take care of yourself. The Lord knows I don't want to even think about that for my dad right now.

 

:iagree: and :grouphug: to both of you.

[Desert Rat]

I agree and thank you for the advice. I'm going to have my mom check over the people who didn't leave addies and see if she is fine with not sending them anything. If there are people on the list that she would like to receive a card, I can look them up in my dad's church directory and see if they are there.

I understand where you're coming from. I didn't take it the wrong way. Honestly, thank you notes were far easier than finances or cleaning out the clothes.

Thanks so much! And Bethany, more hugs for you. I know. I know.

[ZooRho]

I think everyone's saying Kalah, that you should do it if it will make you and your mom happy, but if there's people who just scrawled a signature on the guest book and didn't even leave an address, we don't want you to stress over that. It's ok if not every single person who attended and scrawled in the book gets a thank you note. But if you WANT to do it, you should.

 

That's all. :grouphug: We want you to take care of yourself. The Lord knows I don't want to even think about that for my dad right now.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad died in July. Yes the funeral home gives tons of the preprinted notes, you don't have to send them all.

 

I agree with Bethany. If you are doing it for yourself or your mom do it, but don't stress. Actually I still haven't written the ones I need to do yet. My parents lived in TX and I live in VA. So I was traveling, I brought my mom back with me for 17 days flew back to TX to finish up some stuff and then dh had an aunt to pass away and we went to that funeral. Then back home and I have just been swamped getting ready for school and taking care of the house stuff.

 

but seeing this I think I'll take some paper and see about writing some of the thank yous while waiting for the soccer game.