I think I'd be a better Mother if I didn't homeschool

[Moxie]

This is largely a vent. Sending my kids to school isn't really an option. Private schools cost too much and our public schools aren't great. I'd love some advice if anyone has it!!

 

I try to plan fun school stuff but they all just complain about them or we don't have time to do them.

 

If my kids went to school I'd be able to spend more time with my 3-year-old. We could go to library story time like her older siblings did. Right now she has too much "free time" and she causes trouble. Or watches TV.

 

I could do laundry during the day so evenings would be free for family time.

 

I could clean the house during the day so weekends would be free for family time.

 

I could have some time for the hobbies I love (scrapbooking, mostly). Maybe I'm selfish but I want free time!

 

Having a time that we needed to be out of the house would make us more disciplined. I can make a great schedule on paper (and have MANY times) but we don't follow them.

 

I would have more time to grocery shop and cook so my poor foodie husband would enjoy dinner again.

 

I love to shop, craft and decorate for the holidays. I would have time to do that again.

 

Maybe if I weren't with my kids 24/7, I would be more patient with them and some of their issues.

 

Things aren't horrible here but I see so many ways that they could be so. much. better. I'm a natural perfectionist so doing everything half-@ssed is starting to wear on me.

[fairfarmhand]

yup. I COMPLETELY understand.

 

I agree with your whine and feel it too.

[Kathryn]

yup. I COMPLETELY understand.

 

I agree with your whine and feel it too.

 

:iagree::grouphug:

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Personally, it did not work for me. I needed that time to relax and rarely got much of anything done. My son was such a monster after school, we never got to any activities because the school day was so long.

 

Mine were in school until 2011. This is only our second year at home and it is much better than it ever was in ps.

[fairfarmhand]

I'll add to it.

 

If I didn't homeschool....

 

I could have an amazing garden each year and it wouldn't be waist high in weeds by the end of the summer so that I have to get a machete to find the tomatoes and melons. We could eat fresh food that we grew!

 

I could raise Jersey milk calves to sell as milkers.

 

I could finally write that book I've always wanted to write.

 

I could have a gorgeous blog about farm living/ cooking and crafts.

 

I might ENJOY teaching my kids stuff instead of dreading it. (not everything, but some days I do get worn down from it)

 

My house would be much more peaceful, because it would be neater and more organized.

 

The kids might not argue so much if they weren't in each other's space so often.

 

I'd feel like reading aloud again since I wouldn't be so burnt out on it.

 

My 4 yo would get some of the attention that his older siblings got and he wouldn;t get the leftovers. (he spends too much time at loose ends while I work with bigger kids.)

[Halcyon]

Ah yes, but if you didn't homeschool

 

1. you woudn't get to spend these precious years with your children

2. your kids might turn into children you didn't really recognize, and you wouldn't be able to do much about it

3. Peers would influence your children more than you would.

4. you wouldn't have time to do things in the day as a family

5. your flexibility as a family would be gone

6. you would need to yield to the authority of the public school in all educational matters

7. you might get a great teacher for your kids, or you might get a bad one. luck of the draw.

 

 

......

[shanvan]

This is largely a vent. Sending my kids to school isn't really an option. Private schools cost too much and our public schools aren't great. I'd love some advice if anyone has it!!

 

I try to plan fun school stuff but they all just complain about them or we don't have time to do them.

 

You have my permission to stop planning these things. They are part of what is stressing you out. Why waste time & energy on things that aren't benefiting you or your Dc? You can at least cut back on them. This is coming from a person who once did the same.

 

If my kids went to school I'd be able to spend more time with my 3-year-old. We could go to library story time like her older siblings did. Right now she has too much "free time" and she causes trouble. Or watches TV.

 

Arrange a time for just you and your 3yr old daily and set clear expectations (silent reading, drawing, room time, math practice whatever) or independent assignments (or housework for your other Dc). It's best to have the 3yr old's time early in the day.

 

I could do laundry during the day so evenings would be free for family time.

 

I could clean the house during the day so weekends would be free for family time.

 

I could have some time for the hobbies I love (scrapbooking, mostly). Maybe I'm selfish but I want free time!

 

Then you need to get rid of something and make the time! I think most of us here would willingly grant you permission. :D

 

Having a time that we needed to be out of the house would make us more disciplined. I can make a great schedule on paper (and have MANY times) but we don't follow them.

 

I would have more time to grocery shop and cook so my poor foodie husband would enjoy dinner again.

 

I love to shop, craft and decorate for the holidays. I would have time to do that again.

 

Maybe if I weren't with my kids 24/7, I would be more patient with them and some of their issues.

 

Things aren't horrible here but I see so many ways that they could be so. much. better. I'm a natural perfectionist so doing everything half-@ssed is starting to wear on me.

 

:grouphug: I have these thoughts from time to time, and like you, I know I'm not sending Dc to school. I think you have grass is greener syndrome. If they went to school you'd just have different problems. Find a way to make homeschooling easier, less stressful. Give yourself some of the time you need. Just make it happen however you need it to period. I'm trying to do better myself with this. I'm learning to accept my limitations and homeschool in a way that is best for all of us---including me.

[YARNacademy]

Personally, it did not work for me. I needed that time to relax and rarely got much of anything done. My son was such a monster after school, we never got to any activities because the school day was so long.

 

Mine were in school until 2011. This is only our second year at home and it is much better than it ever was in ps.

 

I agree...the grass isn't greener. My house was clean, the laundry was done, and we had "gourmet -style" dinners every night...but once I picked the kids up from school, we all had attitude problems, we fought about homework, which took hours to complete, we never had fun time for the family and "studying" took all night so no one could do extracurriculars.

:grouphug:

 

ETA: A mom in our homeschool group has a 2yo, twin 6yos, and a 9yo. Once a week a homeschooled teen stays with her older kids while she takes the toddler alone for two hours. I thought that was a pretty cool arrangement.

Edited September 19, 2012 by YARNacademy

[MooCow]

Ah yes, but if you didn't homeschool

 

1. you woudn't get to spend these precious years with your children

2. your kids might turn into children you didn't really recognize, and you wouldn't be able to do much about it

3. Peers would influence your children more than you would.

4. you wouldn't have time to do things in the day as a family

5. your flexibility as a family would be gone

6. you would need to yield to the authority of the public school in all educational matters

7. you might get a great teacher for your kids, or you might get a bad one. luck of the draw.

 

 

......

:iagree: :grouphug: This post I'm printing out and hanging up on my board!

[fairfarmhand]

you guys....

 

 

YOU'RE RAINING ON OUR PITY PARTY!!!!

:tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:

I want to live in the fantasy world where school is perfect and full of rainbows and unicorns. (this is my oldest dd's idea of school)

 

I really am thankful. But some days, I have lapses of reality.

[mommy5]

I can identify with much of what the OP wrote. There are wonderful reasons to homeschool, however, and that is why we continue. I think making time for your younger children is important and maybe having more "relaxed" school days where you do work but aren't as strict about everything. This week, in our own home, I was going to take a break but decided to just do a light week and I feel that things have gone more smoothly with less stress than in a long time. I also decided to wait to do any school work until my toddler is taking a nap which has helped my mood a lot. :) Do you have time to do laundry during the day? I try to do laundry a few times a week in the afternoons...many times the kids help me with it.

[sweetbasil]

Well I for one definitely wouldn't be a better mother.

 

It's harder to cram all your parenting in to only a minimal number of hours each day, especially if I had to spend time and energy "unteaching" every bad habit acquired during the school day. MUCH easier to parent throughout the day, letting conversations and guidance happen naturally as you live life together.

[FO4UR]

You wouldn't be a better mother. You would spend less of your time mothering.

 

 

Mothering is the hardest part of HSing. Maybe it's time for a school break so you can focus on the mothering part for a while. :grouphug:

[janetwhitson]

I think you have grass is greener syndrome.

 

I saw this saying on pinterest yesterday: The grass isn't greener on the other side.

[WishboneDawn]

This is largely a vent. Sending my kids to school isn't really an option. Private schools cost too much and our public schools aren't great. I'd love some advice if anyone has it!!

 

I try to plan fun school stuff but they all just complain about them or we don't have time to do them.

 

Forget the fun school stuff. Pick effective, get'er done programs and just work through them. Do the fun stuff occasionally when you've got the energy but don't stress about making school work fun. The me of 5 years ago would be shocked at that advice but I've continually found that the fun stuff gets in the way and besides, becoming competent at the drier everyday stuff can be a certain kind of fun for kids.

 

If my kids went to school I'd be able to spend more time with my 3-year-old. We could go to library story time like her older siblings did. Right now she has too much "free time" and she causes trouble. Or watches TV.

 

Can't help you there. I'm dreading this myself in a few years. :)

 

I could do laundry during the day so evenings would be free for family time.

 

My oldest does laundry. She puts a load in the washer in the morning, in the drier when it's done and, if needed, another load during her lunch break. I fold on either of those breaks and the kids put away their clothes right then. Your oldest could certainly take over laundry.

 

I could clean the house during the day so weekends would be free for family time.

 

Again, the kids help me with this. During the morning before school work, noon before their break and after supper the older ones pitch in to tidy "their" rooms. My daughter gets the living room and laundry room while my son gets the dining room and kid's bathroom. On weekend for deeper cleanings they still help out. We play 20 questions during chores whether it's cleaning inside, stacking firewood or whatever, to keep it fun.

 

You need helpers. You've got at least two who are the right age.

 

And regardless of the state of the house we always take one day on the weekend off. Basic chores get done (by everyone) but sweeping floors or washing windows does not take precedence over family or alone time.

 

I could have some time for the hobbies I love (scrapbooking, mostly). Maybe I'm selfish but I want free time!

 

My older ones look after the baby for me sometimes so I can sit in the next room and read or knit or whatever.

 

Having a time that we needed to be out of the house would make us more disciplined. I can make a great schedule on paper (and have MANY times) but we don't follow them.

 

We don't do schedules. We do routines. Up in the morning, feed the chickens, shower, do their chores, eat, school, lunch, chores, break, school, break, supper, chores, break, quiet time, bed time.

 

I would have more time to grocery shop and cook so my poor foodie husband would enjoy dinner again.

 

Can he do the grocery shopping? My husband can't do that right now due to an injury but he does do up the meal plan.

 

I love to shop, craft and decorate for the holidays. I would have time to do that again.

 

Maybe if I weren't with my kids 24/7, I would be more patient with them and some of their issues.

 

Things aren't horrible here but I see so many ways that they could be so. much. better. I'm a natural perfectionist so doing everything half-@ssed is starting to wear on me.

 

I think you need to start spreading the load a LOT more. Kids can handle a lot in terms of chores. Mine take care of the animals (this ranges from feeding the dogs to mucking out chicken coops), stack and bring in firewood, tidy rooms, dust, sweep, laundry, dishes, cook, take out the garbage, look after the baby, etc. I've found that the more I hand them, the more they can take and the more we find ways to do those chores together and have fun with them. Stacking firewood is a family favourite. :D

 

Your husband could probably take some stuff on too. If he's the foodie then he can certainly be the one to make the grocery lists and menu plans. Or you guys could do it together with suggestions from the older kids.

 

Point is, being the housewife doesn't mean you do all the work. It's means you're the manager of your house and managers delegate.

[rosetyler]

yes and you could also:

 

1. Get up at the butt crack of dawn every day to drag your children out of their warm beds to wait on the bus (or multiple buses)

 

2.spend more time cleaning up puke and wiping snotty noses from all the extra germs they will be exposed to

 

3. Let's not forget combing nits out of their hair if it's lice season

 

4. Pester all of your friends and relatives to buy candy/flowers/ coupon books /or whatever each kid is selling

 

5.explain to your 10 year old what various explicit words and phrases mean, because he/she will hear them from other kids

 

6. Spend your "family" time helping your kids with homework

 

7. Dealing with horrible bratty behaviors and all variations of back-sass learned from other kids

 

That just a small bit of what I remember from my days as a ps parent. IMO you have no time because you have a bunch of kids, kids are a huge time -suck regardless of what educational method you use. that bit that they are gone during the day flies by, It always felt like I rushed around and did a bunch of chores and then boom, they were back, grouchy, needy, and oh yeah it's time to make dinner, homework,baths,bed ( you have to get everyone up to get on that bus,remember?). At least this way you know where they are and that they're safe. :001_smile:

[Elinor Everywhere]

Ah yes, but if you didn't homeschool

 

1. you woudn't get to spend these precious years with your children

2. your kids might turn into children you didn't really recognize, and you wouldn't be able to do much about it

3. Peers would influence your children more than you would.

4. you wouldn't have time to do things in the day as a family

5. your flexibility as a family would be gone

6. you would need to yield to the authority of the public school in all educational matters

7. you might get a great teacher for your kids, or you might get a bad one. luck of the draw.

......

 

I agree with this, but especially the bolded. My son is in school for the first time ever (full-time Freshman), and my daughter is going there for band and choir. And I already miss the flexibility! We often spend long weekends on the coast, but no more of that. We like to travel to Europe during Sept-Oct because it's less crowded, the weather is great, and things are cheaper. No more of that! First snow day in the mountains....always fun to pack a thermos of hot chocolate and drive up there to go sledding. No more!!

 

On the bright side, my relationship with my son is SO MUCH BETTER. I have such a better attitude and so much more patience with him now that I'm not around him 24/7. His schooling is going well - mostly A's, and he is really learning to do things for himself and to act more responsibly and maturely. These things are the crux of why I sent him. I'd love to bring him back home next year if the changes I see in him continue and become set. He's actually maturing into a very wonderful young man, and is pleasantly surprising us all by rising to the occasion!

 

My dd LOVES marching band in particular, and likes choir very much. She's learning a lot of choreography in choir (the teacher brings in a NYC choreographer for a week every semester) and it's something she's never done before. She's a joiner, so she's secretary of the choir, fund-raising treasurer for choir, aiming to be drum major by her senior year of marching band, and she just joined the high school's Speech & Debate team.

 

But I miss our old freedoms!

[Ottakee]

Wishbone has a lot of great ideas.

 

You might look at the school program you are using and see if it is worth the time/effort required. I know several families that use more worktext/self teaching programs like Christian Light Education, ACE or Alpha Omega so that they get all the basic covered and then spend any extra time on things you all enjoy---crafts, sports, music, reading great books, etc. These type programs might not meet everyone's high academic standards but sometimes mom's sanity and the welfare of the whole family make these programs great choices.

 

On the positive, my kids really enjoyed them and did their work willingly. They liked knowing EXACTLY how much they had to do each day and when they had checked it all off they were done. I tried unit studies, literature based, etc. and they didn't like it as well and it took up so much more time.

 

Could you hire a mom's helper or someone to watch the olders while you and the younger did something once a week for a few hours---maybe story time and the grocery store :-)

[justLisa]

I saw this saying on pinterest yesterday: The grass isn't greener on the other side.

 

That is AWESOME

[fraidycat]

If your kids are anything like mine you might not really like them. You get them tired, starving, and miserable/short tempered at the end of a long day - THEN you still get to wrestle with homework, bath time, and bedtime while they have bad attitudes.

 

I actually LIKE my kids now that I get to see them during their "peak" hours. Even with the whining about having to do school on those days. They are much more enjoyable little people to be around, for the most part.

[mom2scouts]

I totally understand because I'm feeling that way today too. I took my kids on a field trip yesterday and today I'm getting nothing but complaining. My kids won't concentrate to do the simplest thing. My 4th grader is crying because he doesn't want to do anything I ask of him. I'm thinking about how much I miss scrapbooking, how much cleaner my house would be, how I've lost patience with the whining, how my husband does the grocery shopping in quick trips on the way home from work. The problem is that I've had my kids in PS and it was hard in other ways. They came home from school stressed out and whiny. We had to rush to our evening extracurricular activities. We had to get homework done when everyone was tired. I was always at the mercy of the school schedule and I had to keep track of P.E. day, lunch money, library day and a billion other things. Homeschooling is hard, but I still prefer it and try to remember the advantages on days/wees/months that are really rough.

[stripe]

I could raise Jersey milk calves to sell as milkers.

 

 

:lol: Not me! I only have a tiny yard, and it is open on one side.

[Alte Veste Academy]

You wouldn't be a better mother. You would spend less of your time mothering.

 

 

:001_wub: :001_wub: :001_wub: :001_wub: :001_wub: :001_wub: :001_wub:

[fairfarmhand]

:lol: Not me! I only have a tiny yard, and it is open on one side.

but then you wouldn't have to mow!

[mommymilkies]

yes and you could also:

 

1. Get up at the butt crack of dawn every day to drag your children out of their warm beds to wait on the bus (or multiple buses)

 

2.spend more time cleaning up puke and wiping snotty noses from all the extra germs they will be exposed to

 

3. Let's not forget combing nits out of their hair if it's lice season

 

4. Pester all of your friends and relatives to buy candy/flowers/ coupon books /or whatever each kid is selling

 

5.explain to your 10 year old what various explicit words and phrases mean, because he/she will hear them from other kids

 

6. Spend your "family" time helping your kids with homework

 

7. Dealing with horrible bratty behaviors and all variations of back-sass learned from other kids

 

That just a small bit of what I remember from my days as a ps parent. IMO you have no time because you have a bunch of kids, kids are a huge time -suck regardless of what educational method you use. that bit that they are gone during the day flies by, It always felt like I rushed around and did a bunch of chores and then boom, they were back, grouchy, needy, and oh yeah it's time to make dinner, homework,baths,bed ( you have to get everyone up to get on that bus,remember?). At least this way you know where they are and that they're safe. :001_smile:

 

Ah yes, but if you didn't homeschool

 

1. you woudn't get to spend these precious years with your children

2. your kids might turn into children you didn't really recognize, and you wouldn't be able to do much about it

3. Peers would influence your children more than you would.

4. you wouldn't have time to do things in the day as a family

5. your flexibility as a family would be gone

6. you would need to yield to the authority of the public school in all educational matters

7. you might get a great teacher for your kids, or you might get a bad one. luck of the draw.

 

 

......

:iagree::iagree:

 

My oldest did school for half of Kindy. I got to be the cool mom that made cool bento lunches and she looked forward to seeing off the bus. But she suffered, our relationship suffered...I never got to see her! Up early and out the door, home off the bus at dinner, homework and bath and bed. There was no quality time. That was the major reason we still homeschool. But recently, my mom took my kids for a week (except for my 1 yo), and I realized how cheated my youngest kids have been. I have no time for them! It was nice to spend quality time with her and I still fantasize about having all day with her to repair our relationship. But I also know reality. I wish I could have both!

[5LittleMonkeys]

This is largely a vent. Sending my kids to school isn't really an option. Private schools cost too much and our public schools aren't great. I'd love some advice if anyone has it!!

 

I try to plan fun school stuff but they all just complain about them or we don't have time to do them.Last year I planned fun stuff...lots of hands on things, projects, blah, blah, blah... It was horrible. I was always stressed and the kids complained anyway. This year we are doing a very LCC method and it is WONDERFUL! We focus on the really important skills, a little important content, and I let them do fun stuff on their own time, which they prefer because then it isn't what I think is fun, it's what they think is fun.

 

If my kids went to school I'd be able to spend more time with my 3-year-old. We could go to library story time like her older siblings did. Right now she has too much "free time" and she causes trouble. Or watches TV.I have a 3yo too. Get her involved in what you are doing. When you're doing math give her beans to count and sort. When you're doing LA give her magnetic letters, pencil and paper, books to look at. Don't try to teach her, just let her sit with everyone\you and do things herself. Get her some workbooks, activities AND arrange your schedule so that everyone of your dc above the age of 5 spends 30-40 minutes of their school day playing with her or doing some type of preK activity with her while you work with the others.

 

I could do laundry during the day so evenings would be free for family time.Put a load of laundry in the washer in the morning, have the 10yo switch it to the dryer during mid morning break. Right after school is over have the 10yo take it out of the dryer and fold it\put it away OR give it to a sibling that can fold it\put it away on their own. Scale back the amount of clothing each person has and teach them to be conservative about changing clothes. Do one persons laundry a day. You will only have to do the misc. stuff in the evening (towels, bedding, yours if you don't trust the dc to do it).

 

I could clean the house during the day so weekends would be free for family time.Start the day with a tidy house by having everyone tidy their rooms\living areas for 20 minutes before bed. At lunch break everyone spend 10 minutes cleaning something (dust a room, sweep or vacuum a floor, wipe down the toilet or counter). Right after school is over spend another 10-20 minutes cleaning something. Make up a list\chart of what each person is responsible for cleaning during their cleaning time.

 

I could have some time for the hobbies I love (scrapbooking, mostly). Maybe I'm selfish but I want free time! Get your dc to help with the cleaning\laundry as described above and you will have some extra time on the weekends or evenings. Plan for yourself to have uninterrupted "me time" every weekend from blank time to blank time, and your dh and your older dc responsible for keeping the youngers occupied and away from you. OR wait a few years and they will all be older and then you will have more free time. This is a season.

 

Having a time that we needed to be out of the house would make us more disciplined. I can make a great schedule on paper (and have MANY times) but we don't follow them.Discipline yourself. Become accountable to someone. Can your dh call you at 9:00 everyday and ask if you've started school on time? What about a friend? If you become consistent in doing it then it will become habit. You'll also get addicted to how much more smoothly things go when you stick to a schedule.

 

I would have more time to grocery shop and cook so my poor foodie husband would enjoy dinner again.This isn't a big thing for us. I shop every two weeks and plan easy to prepare meals for the week. The exception is Wednesday night and Sunday when I make a bigger, more elaborate meal.

 

I love to shop, craft and decorate for the holidays. I would have time to do that again. Arrange your yearly schedule so that you are off from Thanksgiving to New Year's. Do 6 weeks in the summer, and 6 weeks in the winter, then 6 - 6 week semesters with a week off in between each during the rest of the year.

 

Maybe if I weren't with my kids 24/7, I would be more patient with them and some of their issues.Get these other things organized and you will probably become less stressed. Do you have family or friends who would be willing to babysit once in awhile?

 

Things aren't horrible here but I see so many ways that they could be so. much. better. I'm a natural perfectionist so doing everything half-@ssed is starting to wear on me.

 

Babysteps. Pick one thing and work to make it better, then after a week or so pick something else. Hang in there. Before you know it this time will be over and you'll be sitting there blinking wondering how the time went by so fast.:grouphug:

[2squared]

FWIW, I would be a better mother if my kids were in school as well. I don't think things would be better overall, but that piece would definitely be better.

 

Also, FWIW, adding #5 to our family was really, really, really difficult. I found five kids to be a whole new world. I had to learn to manage the family differently, and it was a steep learning curve. I don't particularly enjoy managing a crowd, but I have a crowd.

 

And another FWIW, life will feel much better once #5 becomes 1yo. And even better when #5 is 2yo. Life with everyone over 2yo is gravy (compared to where I've been and, of course, until I have teenagers everywhere).

[Catwoman]

Ah yes, but if you didn't homeschool

 

1. you woudn't get to spend these precious years with your children

2. your kids might turn into children you didn't really recognize, and you wouldn't be able to do much about it

3. Peers would influence your children more than you would.

4. you wouldn't have time to do things in the day as a family

5. your flexibility as a family would be gone

6. you would need to yield to the authority of the public school in all educational matters

7. you might get a great teacher for your kids, or you might get a bad one. luck of the draw.

 

 

......

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

But I absolutely understand your frustrations -- and I think most of us have had similar feelings, so please know that you're not alone! :grouphug:

[Nestof3]

I feel the same way sometimes. But, our eldest finished up public school our first year of marriage, and I hated it. He spent more time with worthless studying for ridiculous tests.

 

In the end, I know this is best. They grow up so fast, and I have so many memories. I love learning with them. Even with being with my boys all day, Ben still comes up to me at night asking to snuggle saying he hasn't spent enough time with me. That will end soon. Just think of where he would have had all those emotional needs met throughout the day if he had been in school. He struggles with paying attention and being overwhelmed. I'm glad his gets such a catered education.

 

Our 22 is out of the house. It goes so fast.

 

Plus, I'm sitting here drinking coffee on a balcony at Great Wolf Lodge b/c I homeschool. My boys are having a blast. :)

[cin]

I saw this saying on pinterest yesterday: The grass isn't greener on the other side.

 

And it still needs to be mowed.

[Mommy22alyns]

If your kids are complaining about "fun stuff," then it's not fun for anyone. Some kids just don't like that, and they're perfectly fine learning in other ways. So just drop it!

 

I love the pros & cons PP have shared here. Very uplifting, great reasons to keep on keeping on! :grouphug:

[labst60]

Ok - I read your post and the first thing I thought was - Did I write this? I don't remember writing this, yet someone has put ALL my thoughts into this post! :001_smile::001_smile:

 

I hear you - it's not an easy decision and despite LOVING my kids (and actually LOVING homeschooling), I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a mom whose kids when to school....

 

But then I remember - how much I'd miss... those "free" weekends and evenings would be spent doing homework and projects... my DDs would have to give up some activities they love because they couldn't be at school all day, every day and then at an activity all evening every night.

 

There is NO perfect answer... and no choice that will make us happy all the time. I think you just need to go with what ever choice makes you happy MORE of the time, kwim?

[stripe]

but then you wouldn't have to mow!

Ha, I already don't -- it's brick! ;)

 

But seriously, it is important to think about this issue, and how not to make everyone miserable in the pursuit of improvement.

[fairfarmhand]

And it still needs to be mowed.

not if you have a cow.

[redsquirrel]

If I didn't homeschool I'd have a paying full time job. That would sort of negate any of my fantasies about all I could achieve if the kids were gone all day. I'd be gone all day too, so the house etc would be pretty much the same, if not worse.

[Danestress]

we are lucky to be able to have our boys - 9th graders - in a very good Christian School. It's their first year in "real" school. (just kidding about the "real" part).

 

In some ways, I am a better Mom. There is less conflict for sure - and we were not having a lot of conflict when they were home, compared to some of the posts I read here. But I am definitely less stressed. I can't tell you how great it is that someone else teachers biology, plans the labs, grades their essays, drills Spanish. It's just really awesome, and I say that as someone who likes learning and liked the way teaching kept me learning. I love that they are working so hard and learning so much, and I am not responsible for it. If they complain, I can be supportive instead of taking it personally. I like that. I like just doing what I am doing, and not feeling constantly pressured about what I am not doing.

 

On the otherhand, while I am less stressed, they are more stressed. They wanted to go to school and have no regrets. But after they eat my dinner, which I will grant is a often a more carefully prepared meal than what time allowed when I was teaching, they are right up in their rooms doing homework most nights. They study A LOT, especially because they have activities right after school.

 

When they homeschooled, I tried to arrange things so that after dinner (which is eaten on the late side here) we could have family time. That's mostly over. After dinner now, DH and I relax and they work. I do miss them. In addition to not having them home all day, they are pretty busy at night. I treasure the time I do have with them, because it's a small part of the day now. It's ok. They are happy and we are still a close family and in some ways, or time together is more relaxed now, but I miss the old days too.

 

I do have more time to clean. I have more time to work out. I am busier than I thought I would be, but still have time to myself that was unheard of until this year.

 

But enjoy these years homeschooling, even though it is hard. You are building precious relationships.