Ideas on helping preteen girl through moodiness??

[I.Dup.]

My dd has always struggled with moodiness but this is just getting worse as puberty is brewing. :glare: Surely there is something that I can give her to help her feel better? 5htp? High doses of fish oil?

 

She gets herself SO worked up about every little thing (no idea where she gets this from :tongue_smilie:) and since starting swim team she has herself so worked up that she isn't sleeping. She wakes in the middle of the night and is up for an hour or more, and then we all have to suffer for it the next day. :glare:

 

I am definitely having more sympathy for what I put my parents through it is SO DIFFICULT to have such an intense child. As difficult as it is on the rest of us, I really hope there's something I can give her so SHE can feel better.

[fairfarmhand]

:lurk5:

 

I wish.

 

Some kids are just like that. My oldest is one of them. Always has been always will be.

 

I have found that she does like pilates, and it helps her relax.

[MooCow]

Chocolate. And a journal. And I MADE my dd go outside to get sunshine and fresh air, even if it was just sitting on the trampoline reading.

[I.Dup.]

Thanks for the ideas. Anyone else?

[LibraryLover]

I've noticed that my dds both need reminders to eat. (I cannot relate.) They also need sleep. I have often said that one egg can turn the world right-side up, and that every issue/problem is magnified at night when you are exhausted. Both of them know they need at least 8 hours of solid sleep.

Sleep and good food are very important. So is getting out. I have often said, "Ride your bike. Go throw the ball with the dogs. Take a walk."

Edited October 25, 2013 by LibraryLover

[I.Dup.]

I've noticed that my dds both need reminders to eat. (I cannot relate.) They also need sleep. I have often said that one egg can turn the world right-side up, and that every issue/problem is magnified at night when you are exhausted. Both of them know they need at least 8 hours of solid sleep.

 

Sleep and good food are very important. So is getting out. I have often said, "Go play with your chickens. Go throw the ball with the dogs. Take a walk to the beach."

 

I agree! But what can I do if she is just not sleeping well? It's like she can't even relax, even in her sleep.

[Impish]

Valium. for her or you. :tongue_smilie:

[Brigitte]

I went through the same with one of my twins last year and the first half of this year. She ended up starting her period at the end of December at 10.5 y.o. Within about 3 months the sleeping got better and after about 6 months, the moodiness started to even out. Honestly, I thought I was going to have to put her in school it was so bad. I dreaded the start of this school year, but it has been a breeze so far.

 

The only recommendations I have for you are to have patience and to set clear boundaries with consequences for behavior outside those boundaries. The sleep problem is hard to solve. You might try earlier bedtimes or giving her things to listen to while awake. I told dd to see how many Hail Marys she could say or to see how slowly she could say the Our Father.

 

:grouphug:

[Durriyyah]

Duck and cover. :tongue_smilie: Make sure she has plenty of time outside, having fun with family and friends, and with DD1 I noticed that special family time centered around something she wants to do really helps. Keep her distracted with things during the day and maybe reading a book to sleep will help her not take the stress into her dreams and sleep?

 

I wouldn't suggest starting food as a distraction though since that can turn into a bad cycle. I know what it feels like to let myself get worked up, and it feels like you are feeding a monster... you know you shouldn't but you feel like you can't help it! There are some great American Girl books that really help girls relate with what they are feeling like their Feelings Book, and A Girl's Guide to Liking Herself (Even on Bad Days). Maybe she isn't depressed, but the books address how to control your moods in healthy ways.

 

I feel you! It really is draining, and I've thought more than once that puberty could be deadly, for mom! hehe Big hugs! :grouphug:

[LibraryLover]

double

Edited September 22, 2012 by LibraryLover

[HappyGrace]

As far as sleep-have you tried massage? When dd12 gets keyed up before bed it helps if I rub her back. Also try the usual things to help sleep-no computer right before bed, calming activities after a certain time, etc.

[I.Dup.]

Thank you all. We've always said goodnight to her by 9pm, the last few nights it's been 8:15. It's the waking in the night that is the problem. She does unwind in her room before bed and reads or quietly crafts. Usually reads. Honestly I'm dreading her telling me she's started her period, I feel so not ready for that (of course I am encouraging to her when we talk about it, but inwardly I just thought it would be awhile...I didn't start mine until I was 13!!) but it helps to know things will hopefully even out whenever that happens-- I hope!!

 

She's always been more of a riled-up kind of person, she gets some of that from me, the excitement part from her dad also. I don't think she struggles with severe anxiety, it's just that the thought of growing up is very troubling to her, my MIL said my dh was the same way, and she's in that weird in-between stage. I feel so ill equipped on how to help her through this, I feel that I am doing everything I possibly can to make it as easy as I can on her! The neediness is bottomless!

[Caitilin]

My mom always had us drink a small glass of milk and eat a piece of bread if we awoke in the night; something about the combination had a soporific effect on us. :D Also, does your dd know how to say the rosary? She might find that a nice soothing focus point when she awakens, and it would help her keep her mind off herself, in a way, too. You might also have her take Vitamin D; it helps keep everything more even keeled. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[I.Dup.]

My mom always had us drink a small glass of milk and eat a piece of bread if we awoke in the night; something about the combination had a soporific effect on us. :D Also, does your dd know how to say the rosary? She might find that a nice soothing focus point when she awakens, and it would help her keep her mind off herself, in a way, too. You might also have her take Vitamin D; it helps keep everything more even keeled. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Thank you!

 

Thanks to those of you who encouraged her to pray the Rosary, Our Father or just Hail Marys, I will def. encourage her to do that. I've told her to pray, but specific prayers should help.

[Barb_]

Thank you!

 

Thanks to those of you who encouraged her to pray the Rosary, Our Father or just Hail Marys, I will def. encourage her to do that. I've told her to pray, but specific prayers should help.

 

I grew up in Catholic schools and when I was in the middle grades and had trouble sleeping, I would say the rosary. I got the idea in church because I'd always nod off on first Fridays when the whole school would sit and recite the rosary :tongue_smilie: The rosary has an inherent meditative effect, I think.

 

Also try fish oil and magnesium.

[Joyofsixreboot]

My now 14 yo had a rough patch and her 8yo sister is very emotional. I sort of had to take the same approach as with a toddler-never too hungry (they are both meal skippers), early bed time, enforced exercise/play time outside daily (whatever the weather-sports help with this) and for the 8yo daily friend contact. She is an extremely social person. All that helps but we had to make a plan for the times it doesn't. She needs to go to her room if she's out of control and not complying has consequences. Sadly she can weep for a long time.

[HappyMomMd]

You could also try melatonin for a restful nights sleep.

[whitestavern]

My dd has always struggled with moodiness but this is just getting worse as puberty is brewing. :glare: Surely there is something that I can give her to help her feel better? 5htp? High doses of fish oil?

 

She gets herself SO worked up about every little thing (no idea where she gets this from :tongue_smilie:) and since starting swim team she has herself so worked up that she isn't sleeping. She wakes in the middle of the night and is up for an hour or more, and then we all have to suffer for it the next day. :glare:

 

I am definitely having more sympathy for what I put my parents through it is SO DIFFICULT to have such an intense child. As difficult as it is on the rest of us, I really hope there's something I can give her so SHE can feel better.

 

My SIL started her teen on Krill oil and she says it's like having a new child. It really regulated her mood.

[Beach Mom]

A daily run (or other vigorous exercise) and a complex Vit B (recommended by a dr) make a huge difference in my daughter's mood swings. Now that she is a little older she has learned to recognize the swings and manage them a little better by proactively going outside or talking a walk to reset her mood.

 

:grouphug:, the pre and early teens can be hard on Mom.

[fairfarmhand]

I will confide to you that the WORST week of my parenting career was the week before my dd started her first period. It was HORRIBLE. I thought either she needed to be committed or I did. Rages about insignificant things. Bawling her eyes out over everything. AWFUL. Then the next week she started and I went "Oh." I am so glad that was all that it was. I seriously did not know what to do with her that week.

[justamouse]

I've noticed that my dds both need reminders to eat. (I cannot relate.) They also need sleep. I have often said that one egg can turn the world right-side up, and that every issue/problem is magnified at night when you are exhausted. Both of them know they need at least 8 hours of solid sleep.

 

Sleep and good food are very important. So is getting out. I have often said, "Go play with your chickens. Go throw the ball with the dogs. Take a walk to the beach."

 

I think trying to get them into bed on the early side will help. My dds are both perfectionists and can rile themselves up. They *need* to go to bed. A warm bath still helps (not a shower, my girls cannot sleep with wet hair). Listening to audio books helps my youngest to drift off, and my older dd liked listening to music.

 

If you want your dd have tea or whatnot to relax, do that at least an hour before she crawls into bed, or she will need to get up later to go to the bathroom. My youngest son used a white noise machine ( an air filter) for years to help him stay asleep. My youngest now uses it.

 

My youngest likes me to brush and braid her hair. It seems to calm her.

 

Waking in the night is more difficult. My oldest dd wakes with the sun. She has never been able to not do so. Her strategy is to get into bed as early as possible. This way, she knows she got several hours sleep.

 

You may be dealing with greater anxiety. I don't know. Make sure she gets into bed early with a book, and an empty bladder. Encourage her do deep breathing if she wakes.

 

Getting into bed sooner, rather than later, has been key for us. You might think about making the morning routine a little later/less hectic (if it is). Sometimes sleep can be troubled when there is something happening early in the morning. That sort of thing winds us all up.

 

I think fish oil is great. We use Nordic Naturals, althouth we haven't over the summer. I need to get more.

:iagree::iagree:

 

You also need to have a talk.

 

This is hormones. You cannot let them control you. You are not allowed to be *itchy just because you are in a hormonal surge. Self control. It took a while, but, they get it. ;)