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DD got punched in the face!


M.A.
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She is 11. A very tiny 11 -most people think she is 8.

We have lived in an small friendly rental neighborhood for 9 yrs now. We know everyone -we all look out for each others kids. It has a safe enclosed playground across from our courtyard. It is basically a large shared backyard. Most of the kids are unsupervised from young ages but I have always gone out with mine as I am a bit on the paranoid side. Iddy Biddy has only been allowed to play in the neighborhood with out me being outside in the courtyard for a few months.

 

We have had some new families move into the complex awhile ago that have had boys who have been using mean or inappropriate language with my dd and I or dh have had to approach them. Its been bullying there are no other words for it and I have tried to approach the mom but her English is not up to the task and Dad is rather "traditional" in his culture and will not speak with me. But now that school is in session it has not been a problem.

 

Today my dd came in crying, thank goodness nothing is broken and she was not bleeding but is looking a bit like a racoon. She said she didn't know the boy just that she has seen him play with the other boys a few times, He was just walking in the parking lot, he crossed to our couryard and punched her in the face and ran off.

 

We don't who he is or where he lives...I am assuming he lives in the adjoining neighborhood. I am so angry. I told dd she wont be able to play outside with out dh or i present for a while and she is just mortified. Plus she is hurting.

 

She is mad and crying. She says "its cause I'm weird"- We are the only homeschoolers, we are the only ones on a "weird diet", all the other kids belong to one of 3 strong cultural groups we are not a part of, she is really small, her list goes on. She is demanding we move.:crying:

 

She is used to being teased on ocassion but to be punched is ARGHHH!

I am having trouble maintaining my cool as I was badly bullied as a child- it was one of the deciding factors in our choosing to homeschool.

 

So I'm just ranting here...I going to stay out with her I guess until the kid comes by again. I just hate when I can't fix something.

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I would call the police department and start a report. This is assault. Take photos! Lots of photos. Create a record so that you have the option to pursue this further. She may not know the boy now, but she may be able to identify him later and then you will have the pieces in place to have an officer talk to him and his family.

 

Any chance there were witnesses?

 

And I'm so sorry this happened. Make sure your daughter knows it has nothing to do with her. It sounds like he was trying to prove himself to someone else. Are gangs a problem at all in your area?

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Voice of dissent here.

 

I would not call the police until I talked to the other children, found out where this kid lives and talked to his parents about what happened.

 

What if you couldn't figure out who he is or where he lives? You wouldn't file a police report?

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:grouphug: I am so sorry for your poor daughter. I tend to think calling the police is a bit much, but I think I'd do so in a case like this. Hopefully, the boy who did this is found out, confronted (or his parents confronted) and learns a lesson from doing something so cruel and unnecessary.

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It isn't a case of children playing and had a fight and tempers got the best of one of them. In that case maybe just talking to the parents makes sense but he just went up to her and punched her. I would call the police and file a report.

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Voice of dissent here.

 

I would not call the police until I talked to the other children, found out where this kid lives and talked to his parents about what happened.

 

You assume the other parents care. That wasn't my experience when my son was injured by another child. The kid never even came to apologize.

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What does your dh suggest you and dd do? I would follow his advice. Moms get too emotional, and dd will follow your lead. I'd be going off the deep end, but that's not great in the long run.

 

Really? Women are too emotional and must rely on their calm, rational husbands to know how to properly behave? That's absurd.

 

In our country, we have laws. Punching people in the face is against the law. OP should definitely call the police. She *should* press charges if she can; why should anyone have to hide because some rude kid punched her in the face? OP needs to stand up and do what's right.

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Voice of dissent here.

 

I would not call the police until I talked to the other children, found out where this kid lives and talked to his parents about what happened.

No, approaching these people would actually make it worse in terms of police intervention. Things can get heated and more words added to the equation. It is not the parent's job to intervene here.

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Really? Women are too emotional and must rely on their calm, rational husbands to know how to properly behave? That's absurd.

 

In our country, we have laws. Punching people in the face is against the law. OP should definitely call the police. She *should* press charges if she can; why should anyone have to hide because some rude kid punched her in the face? OP needs to stand up and do what's right.

:iagree: This "young man" assaulted your daughter. He needs to learn that his actions have consequences. And you're daughter learns that her parents will stand up for her and to bullies.

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:iagree: This "young man" assaulted your daughter. He needs to learn that his actions have consequences. And you're daughter learns that her parents will stand up for her and to bullies.

 

:iagree: I think it's important to contact the police at least so your daughter knows that these actions are in no way normal or acceptable. Particularly if she has any sort of mark left on her.

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What does your dh suggest you and dd do? I would follow his advice. Moms get too emotional, and dd will follow your lead. I'd be going off the deep end, but that's not great in the long run.

 

:blink: Um, no. Just... no.

 

This wasn't kids getting a little too worked up while playing, or having a fight, or anything kids sometimes normally do. This was a blatant assault, and the op is right to be upset. She would also be right to call the police, whether or not her dh agrees.

 

ETA: Not to mention that I've never met a father who wouldn't be absolutely livid at his daughter getting randomly punched in the face by some punk. My dh would be strolling around the neighborhood with a baseball hat, not calmly sitting home.

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What does your dh suggest you and dd do? I would follow his advice. Moms get too emotional, and dd will follow your lead. I'd be going off the deep end, but that's not great in the long run.

What a slap to women the world over. Let's go back to the day's of routine hysterectomies in order to calm the little women down. And let's not forget the women who need to be committed to asylums because they are overly emotional. Sheesh!

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What does your dh suggest you and dd do? I would follow his advice. Moms get too emotional, and dd will follow your lead. I'd be going off the deep end, but that's not great in the long run.

 

Umm, no. It's wrong to assume that Dad is going to be any less calm and rational than Mom in a situation like this.

 

To the OP, you need to have her doctor check to make sure there's nothing serious and as extra documentation. Take lots of pics today, tomorrow, the day after. File that police report. Let the police come out and talk to the other boys. Your DD can probably easily point out that group even if she doesn't know the boy that punched her.

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Before I called anyone, I'd triple-check her story since it seems rather implausible for a complete stranger to walk up to you, punch you, and walk away. If, even when presented with possible police involvement, she still says this is what happened, I'd consider involving the police. But, I know that sometimes children are reluctant to admit any possible actions that led up to them getting hurt and will leave out their involvement, change the description, or fabricate a story (I don't know your daughter and am NOT trying to say she's lying, just going off kids I know).

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I would call the police. It's assault.

 

:iagree:

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am so sorry this is happening. I don't know that I would be too calm myself. Please call the police. If this boy hit her with out being provoked, what might he do next time? Especially if he sees there are no consequences this time.

 

You poor dd, I wish I could just give her a huge hug.

 

Danielle

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Before I called anyone, I'd triple-check her story since it seems rather implausible for a complete stranger to walk up to you, punch you, and walk away. If, even when presented with possible police involvement, she still says this is what happened, I'd consider involving the police. But, I know that sometimes children are reluctant to admit any possible actions that led up to them getting hurt and will leave out their involvement, change the description, or fabricate a story (I don't know your daughter and am NOT trying to say she's lying, just going off kids I know).

 

:iagree:

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:blink: Um, no. Just... no.

 

This wasn't kids getting a little too worked up while playing, or having a fight, or anything kids sometimes normally do. This was a blatant assault, and the op is right to be upset. She would also be right to call the police, whether or not her dh agrees.

 

ETA: Not to mention that I've never met a father who wouldn't be absolutely livid at his daughter getting randomly punched in the face by some punk. My dh would be strolling around the neighborhood with a baseball hat, not calmly sitting home.

 

I hope you've already called the police to make a report.

 

If my son EVER did something like this, he'd be safer in the hands of the police!

 

I could imagine my daughters father being calm.NOT!!!! He would be violently pissed! This is the man who was almost arrested at the school when he attempted to jerk the principal from behind his desk. I have never seen a man calm when his daughter got punched by a boy.

:iagree:

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I would call the police department and start a report. This is assault. Take photos! Lots of photos. Create a record so that you have the option to pursue this further. She may not know the boy now, but she may be able to identify him later and then you will have the pieces in place to have an officer talk to him and his family.

 

Any chance there were witnesses?

 

And I'm so sorry this happened. Make sure your daughter knows it has nothing to do with her. It sounds like he was trying to prove himself to someone else. Are gangs a problem at all in your area?

 

:iagree:

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I really hope you call the police. The young "man" who did this may be emboldened to do worse to another child if he feels he got away with this. Even if he doesn't get caught if he sees the police around looking for who did it, he may decide to act differently.

 

:iagree:And I think a visit to the doctor is probably a good idea especially if the eye area is involved.

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I could imagine my daughters father being calm.NOT!!!! He would be violently pissed! This is the man who was almost arrested at the school when he attempted to jerk the principal from behind his desk. I have never seen a man calm when his daughter got punched by a boy.

 

:iagree:

 

If someone hit our dd and my dh was calm, I'd be wondering if HE had a hormone imbalance! :lol:

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Before I called anyone, I'd triple-check her story since it seems rather implausible for a complete stranger to walk up to you, punch you, and walk away. If, even when presented with possible police involvement, she still says this is what happened, I'd consider involving the police. But, I know that sometimes children are reluctant to admit any possible actions that led up to them getting hurt and will leave out their involvement, change the description, or fabricate a story (I don't know your daughter and am NOT trying to say she's lying, just going off kids I know).

 

Trying to imagine what possible scenario would make it okay for someone to hit this girl. On top of that, this girl is the size of an eight year old. She has no doubt learned better than to go around provoking people. :001_huh:

 

Or are you suggesting she was doing something she'd been forbidden to do, and got hurt without another human being involved? Or thrown the first punch?

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I would call the police, they will go to and try to find the boy by asking other kids, checking at the school etc.

 

I unfortunately have far too much experience dealing with little turds punching/assaulting my kids. The night before last I went off on a neighborhood kid that was shoving ds9 around (this kid is 13 so a big age difference). His reason for shoving ds, ds called him stupid. I pointed out that all he succeeded in doing was proving ds right. This boy I had the police out his place every other day for 2 months when we first moved here. THe police actually recommended that I sue his mother because she told the police it wasn't up to her to control her kid, she was a busy single mom. The kid left mine alone for a year, and then he started hanging out with the mayor's son. I'll tell you 1 thing I have learned, if the mayor's kid is the one bullying your kids, the police do nothing about it.

 

Sorry don't mean to hijack. I would call the police and file a report. You may not know the boy, but the police can find out, as well if you see him in the neighborhood again you can find out then.

 

As well if the families involved will not speak to you, you need to get a male family member to go have a talk with them. Whether your dh, or brother, or a male family friend. Pick the one that won't back down easily.

 

This is not okay at all. And I fully get what your dd is feeling. My kids are the weird ones in town, we are the only homeschooler's, they have special needs, and I am the mom that calls in the police. We all want to move, every. single. day.

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I was jumped by some psycho girl in early high school, who I had never met who went to another school but decided she didn't like me. I think maybe because I dated someone she liked or something, she had a record. Anyway, when I got home my parents took me straight to the police station and filed charges. She had to serve community service and I think that was it, but still worth it.

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What does your dh suggest you and dd do? I would follow his advice. Moms get too emotional, and dd will follow your lead. I'd be going off the deep end, but that's not great in the long run.

 

Are you flipping kinding me?? If someone assaulted your dd you would remain perfect calm about it? I feel sorry for your dd then.

 

I generally involve the police. The other night I told the kid off and warned him if he touched my kid again he would be dealing with the police again.

 

However, There was one instance where a boy that we had taken to court twice for assaulting my kids, pinned my dd to the ground and was getting ready to punch her. Dd was 11, (and like the OP is about the size of an 8 year old even now at 13), the boy was 16. We had gone to get the boys from teh park for dinner, she had gone ahead of me, and saw this boy beating on my son and told him to stop. Boy went after her instead. Let me tell you there was nothing calm about it. I picked the boy up and threw him off her, and told him if he ever put one finger on her again I would break each and every one of his fingers. That boy has not done a thing to my kids since. In fact a couple weeks ago he told the kids he was done getting into trouble, and to tell me he would leave them alone(he has anyway even before telling them that) because he was scared of me.

 

Now do I recommend randomly attacking punks, heck no. But if you can tell me that you or your dh would stay calm in the face of a boy that is older and bigger attacking your dd than there is clearly something wrong in your frontal lobe.

 

Oh FTR, in the above scenario, the boy told his dad what I did, and why. The dad came and talked to me and told me if his son hurt my dd again he would hold him down for me to break those fingers. He was disgusted that he attacked dd, a) because she is a girl and b) she didn't do a **** thing, she just told him to stop hitting her brother.

 

99% of the time I remain calm while seething, and involving the police (on the outside), but I am a momma bear and you don't touch my cub. My kids take pride in knowing that I would do ANYTHING to protect them. My mom and dad were teh keep it calm type, I never felt protected. They kept it calm in front of my rapist and never stood up for me.

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I would call the police, they will go to and try to find the boy by asking other kids, checking at the school etc.

 

I unfortunately have far too much experience dealing with little turds punching/assaulting my kids. The night before last I went off on a neighborhood kid that was shoving ds9 around (this kid is 13 so a big age difference). His reason for shoving ds, ds called him stupid. I pointed out that all he succeeded in doing was proving ds right. This boy I had the police out his place every other day for 2 months when we first moved here. THe police actually recommended that I sue his mother because she told the police it wasn't up to her to control her kid, she was a busy single mom. The kid left mine alone for a year, and then he started hanging out with the mayor's son. I'll tell you 1 thing I have learned, if the mayor's kid is the one bullying your kids, the police do nothing about it.

 

 

Then you call the governor and the state police or whatever the Canadian equivalent is. RCMP?

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