Homeschooling guilt...

[ShannonS]

I occasionally experience feelings of guilt because we are no longer active members of the public school community; I have guilt in the sense of "be the change you want to see."

 

Especially when I watch nice little videos like

 

It is 12 min long. Clean content. Philosophical Can of Worms warning.

 

I know my first responsibility is to my kids, and I imagine I am romanticizing the idea of 'being involved', but something is nagging me, and I can't quite articulate it.

[Mama Geek]

I just finished watching the whole clip. Homeschooling gives our children the chance at this type of education if we do it right and from everything I have read the number of home schoolers is growing all the time. Some people realize that the public schools is not the type of education they want for their kids. The more common this becomes, the more comfortable others will be to try it. The public schools are not going to change, the system is too big and gets too much money as it is now. Fighting a system the size of the public schools just doesn't work.

 

Don't feel guilty that you want something better for your children.

[ShannonS]

Maybe homeschooling itself is 'being the change."

[Mama Geek]

I really encouraged my cousin to homeschool her kids when her first grade dd was going to be held back for being too slow. She was a smart funny little kid, who lost a lot of her self confidence. That was more than 10 years ago. Her mom pulled her and her sister out of the public schools. She has started college this fall and is wanting to become an eye doctor. She has 3 siblings coming up behind her. I am not sure if they have figured out what direction they want to head yet, but they are all doing very well. My guess is had the oldest stayed in school she would have been lucky to graduate.

 

Oh yeah and this school apologized that parents got upset when word got out that 2 elementary school kids were caught in the class room having oral s@x. They didn't apologize that it happened just that people got upset over it.

[TravelingChris]

You can always do what I have done- and not out of any guilt. I am tutoring a child in a public school as a volunteer. I only started doing this last year as my last child was in high school and I was doing it while she was in an outside class. This year, I may do it while she is at home but it will be only for a short while (half hour tutoring and an additional half hour travel) and I normally will do it while she is still getting up in the morning. So no homeschooling time lost and I help a kid who is behind.

[AmyontheFarm]

I was the Chair of the elementary school Parent Council for 7 years and spent 13 years as an active member. I was Chair of the High school Parent Council for 2 years and spent 5 years as an active member.

 

I sat on school board level meeting where we had actual input into curriculum and policies.

 

My social network and social net worth was tied up in the school board and school councils.

 

I was the positive change.

 

I walked away. I felt guilty that I was leaving it all behind. I shocked a lot of "professional educators" that I was able to confidently walk away leaving the system to educate my own kids.

 

Two well respected leaders in my school board whispered quietly to me, that my children would be better off in the long run because I was going to homeschool my kids. Only one woman (a teacher) voiced out loud to my kids that I was going to ruin their lives by bringing them home to be homeschooled. Whatever.

 

I still feel guilt, only now I feel guilt that I didn't start homeschooling them from day one. I feel guilt that I don't have the energy to homeschool my niece and nephew with my own kids. I feel guilt that I actually talked parents into "just try the school system for JK and SK, and them make a decision" knowing full well that most parents will get addicted to the free babysitting and not bring them home to be homeschooled.

 

I feel guilt for every child that I have left behind in the system, I feel like I have failed the "No child left behind" campaign and we are not even American.

 

I feel happy that my special need son has already exceeded "the professionals" opinion of what he could accomplish in grade school.

 

In.one.year.of.being.homeschooled! I'm over joyed that my son is finally on grade level doing math (he's a bizzarre, feed me only Saxon kid). I'm over come that his confidence has bloomed, he no long punches walls in anger and his dimple faced smile is constantly seen. I've cried as I watched him be able to go help dad in the shop fix tractors. He is learning life skills that he'll need for the rest of his life. Life skills that will earn him money to be able to support himself in the future.

 

He would have fell through the cracks, he might never write an amazing college essay. And his teacher is completely OK with that!

 

Don't allow guilt from the world to stop you, allow it to motivate you to do even better and show them up!

[CyndiLJ]

I like the idea and identify with it that we are being the change we want to see in the world.

 

I WANT to see children get the education they need, individualized just for them.

 

I WANT to see children grow in confidence and not be battered on the playground by a "Lord of the Flies" mentality that is natural in that sort of group setting.

 

I WANT to see children learn in very small group settings.

 

I WANT to see institutions broken up into much, much smaller learning settings.

 

I WANT to see more attention to life skills, and less attention to "teaching to college".

 

Therefore, we are homeschooling, after 5 years in public ed where I needed to be to create a firmer resolve that I would help BE that change in the world, if only for my kids.

 

What have I seen in the 3 years we have homeschooled?

 

Our children are growing into young adults who are responsible, delightful, reliable and very loving...not perpetual teenagers.

 

Our children are doing far better academically with a richer curriculum that is deeper and more meaningful.

 

Our children are catching up in every area they were delayed, based upon the very same tests they took in public school...and that includes my then 5th grader who was not reading even at a end of first grade level, who now tested solid "proficient" in reading, and my other son who tested 3rd grade writing in 6th grade who now tests at low "advanced" level.

 

Our children are not being sexualized too early, are not exposed to rampant alcohol use common in our area, and are still VERY participatory (and happily so) in our family even as they enter their teen years.

 

Sometimes, I admit, the guilt seeps in when I am reminded of the comment our school principal made when I signed our children out for the last time..."All the good ones leave..." as we were the 3rd or 4th family to surprise the school and move on to homeschooling. I know that having solid students in the classroom helps the group as a whole, but does it help my kids or drag them down? I am not willing to sacrifice my kids on the alter of "Let's not pull them so they can be the light in their classroom." sort of thinking, because I saw first hand that it just.didn't.work.for my kids.

 

Cindy

[AnnaM]

I think you have to weigh out whether it is worth it. You can invest tons of time into a sinking ship, but at the end of the day if the hole is too big, it is still going down. On the other hand, you can start building a new one and build it right from the beginning.

 

This is how I see the PS system. It is a sinking ship and there is simply no way to save it because instead of scrapping what doesn't work, they keep trying to throw patches at it. Trying to fix it is a waste of time and you should not feel guilty for using your time wisely.

[cougarmom4]

I've never seen these animation type of lectures before...but I completely love the way they did this!

[6wildhorses]

Maybe homeschooling itself is 'being the change."

 

:iagree:

 

I was just thinking the other day about how homeschoolers are changing public education. My school district offers many alternatives that didn't exist in the past. From science programs, to cyberschools, to enrichment programs, to working with community colleges, homeschoolers are working together with public schools to change the face of public education, making it more flexible. I think it's rather exciting. Even if this type of collaboration isn't happening in your area, by homeschooling you are showing that there is another way to educate. You are finding new, innovative ways of teaching and learning, and by doing so, you are setting a powerful example that shows that education can look different from the traditional school.

[abacus2]

Maybe homeschooling itself is 'being the change."

 

:iagree:

[Mimm]

Yeah, I'm not clicking that video. :p Why watch something that's making people feel guilty? I agree that your responsibility is to your children first of all and I think it's a very weird and twisted attitude that parents should sacrifice their children on the alter of societal improvement.

 

I have enough homeschool guilt. That we aren't getting enough done, that we aren't socializing enough, that I'm not doing enough hands on learning (or in light of several recent threads, that I'm doing too many). It never ends. At the same time, I don't want to become complacent, so I try to use the guilt to motivate me to do better, hopefully without going nuts in the process. But I won't allow myself to feel guilty for what's going on with OTHER people's children. :confused: No thanks.

 

ETA: It's like throwing a five year old into the deep end of the pool to save three other five year olds who are drowning. How is that going to work out?

Edited September 17, 2012 by Mimm

[Lang Syne Boardie]

My well-educated teens are having more of an impact than I ever could, Shannon.

 

1. They tutor their peers in math, writing, and science.

2. They support their friends' ps activities by attending.

3. They speak with pastors, librarians, and even state legislators about education.

4. They volunteer at the library, working with children's programs and tutoring programs.

5. They teach Aerospace Education and Moral Leadership in Civil Air Patrol.

6. They volunteer in the local elementary school and library, giving a presentation on American folk music.

 

All of these activities lead to connections, conversations, and opportunities to be useful in the lives of our township's public-schooled students.

 

When we chose to homeschool, we didn't leave the planet. We just came home for the day. :)

[HarbourLights]

 

I have enough homeschool guilt. That we aren't getting enough done, that we aren't socializing enough, that I'm not doing enough hands on learning (or in light of several recent threads, that I'm doing too many). It never ends. At the same time, I don't want to become complacent, so I try to use the guilt to motivate me to do better, hopefully without going nuts in the process. But I won't allow myself to feel guilty for what's going on with OTHER people's children. :confused:

:iagree:

[magnificent_baby]

My well-educated teens are having more of an impact than I ever could, Shannon.

 

1. They tutor their peers in math, writing, and science.

2. They support their friends' ps activities by attending.

3. They speak with pastors, librarians, and even state legislators about education.

4. They volunteer at the library, working with children's programs and tutoring programs.

5. They teach Aerospace Education and Moral Leadership in Civil Air Patrol.

6. They volunteer in the local elementary school and library, giving a presentation on American folk music.

 

All of these activities lead to connections, conversations, and opportunities to be useful in the lives of our township's public-schooled students.

 

When we chose to homeschool, we didn't leave the planet. We just came home for the day. :)

 

That is so inspiring, thank you for sharing!

 

I am struggling too, and miss my ps parent community.

 

I love that you are working alongside them; I really hate the us/them thing (here and IRL), and it leaves me feeling like I need to "pick" a side.

 

Your last line is perfect, I'm writing that one down! :thumbup:

[ShannonS]

I am so thankful for the hive.

[fraidycat]

The only guilt I feel about homeschooling is not starting sooner. Everyday I wish I would have started from the beginning with DD. And, not knowing that it (homeschooling) even existed or was an option doesn't stop me from feeling guilty. I feel like I should have known. Like my Mommy Instinct should have TOLD me that it was an option, or something because in hindsight I've been very frustrated with DD's education from first grade on.

[Mommy22alyns]

Our responsibility is to our own children first.

 

:iagree:

[melmichigan]

I tried to work within the PS for change, :banghead:. I just got to the point where I wasn't willing to sacrifice my children in the process. I have no guilt in that.

 

I liked the video. :)