WWYD: school reunion spouse or not

[Mandamom]

When you answer keep in mind that my dh did not go to my school nor knows anyone who is going

 

If your spouse did go to the same school and/or knows more than 1 person you went to school with please do not answer in the poll.

 

 

 

I can't believe 25 years is coming up soon. I"ve never been to one of mine and I'm trying to figure out if my dh should go or not.

 

Here are my reasons for him not going...

1) cost. One person costs less than 2 people :)

 

2) I wasn't really friends with a lot of people. I'm introverted and talking to others is hard. I'm not sure it will be easier to talk to others with my dh who is even more introverted than I am. I'm afraid I will stay with him and not mingle more than chit chat with others.

 

Reason for him going: my friend is going and will likely bring her husband. My dh knows this couple but not well.

 

Any experiences would be appreciated.

[regentrude]

It would not occur to my DH that he should even want to attend my reunion: he is an introvert, did not go to my school and does not know the people. So, absolutely no reason why he should be dragged along.

To be honest: if I did not have friends and did not enjoy small talking with people, I don't think I would attend my own reunion either.

[Tap]

LOL I guess it depends on whether or not he wants to go. If he wants to go and it isn't terribly expensive, I would take him. If he doesn't want to, or is very introverted, then I would leave him home.

 

 

At my 20 year reunion, I was the one who didn't want to go. Dh attended my highschool for 2 years and grew up in the same town. I only knew a few people and really had no interest in going, he on the other hand was thrilled at the opprotunity to go visit with all of his friends. :rolleyes: Dh dropped out of school in the 10th grade and didn't get his diploma until he was an adult.

 

I spent the night getting asked "whose spouse are you" and everyone assumes he is the alum because Everyone knows him. :lol:

[maddykate]

I would absolutely bring my dh. He is part of who I am now and I can't imagine not having him go with me.

[GoVanGogh]

DH and I went to the same school, but years apart. He knew one person in my grade - my best friend, whom DH went on one date with months before we started dating.

 

DH is a major introvert and doesn't even know people in his own graduating class...

 

My 25th year reunion was last year. I was somewhat interested in attending but didn't, as we were going on a major anniversary trip the same month.

 

I did attend my 10th year reunion and did not take DH. I probably would not have attended except that my baby brother was playing football and it was his homecoming game. (A big deal in our hometown.) I went more to see my brother's game, then went to one reunion activity.

 

Our hometown normally has many reunion events planned --

family picnic at a park

ride in the homecoming parade, with a drunk fest that afternoon at a pub

informal party

formal party

 

My DH might be interested in attending the family picnic, but he wouldn't be interested in any of the other parties.

[Cinder]

I would absolutely bring my dh. He is part of who I am now and I can't imagine not having him go with me.

 

:iagree: This is just what I was thinking.

[cindergretta]

Dh and I went to the Homecoming Football Game for my 10th and to the family picnic for my 20th. I am not generally hugely interested in going, but if I do go, I want to go with my best friend. (Dh, btw. ;) )

 

He and I are both very introverted and we never go to any part of any of his reunions, his choice.

 

I don't know anyone from dh's high school at all, but I would definitely go with him if he were going and wanted me to go.

 

He knew a lot of people from my high school even though he didn't attend. :lol:

[SailorMom]

I can't imagine going without him......

In fact, we were supposed to go to CA for my 20th this summer (we live in FL). We already had plane tickets, etc.

DH had to deploy on 4 days notice. So we canceled the plane tickets, and I didn't go. I could have - no reason not to other than that DH couldn't go.....

[Renee in NC]

I won't have one (I never graduated high school), but I do plan to go to dh's at some point!

[regentrude]

I would absolutely bring my dh. He is part of who I am now and I can't imagine not having him go with me.

 

Even if he did not want to go? Could you explain your reasoning why do you need him to come along? To show him to your classmates, or to lend you support because the reunion is something dificult?

I don't mean to be snarky, I just try to figure out why somebody would want to subject a spouse to something like this.

(Of course if the spouse really really WANTS to go, then by all means he should come. But the OP did not sound as if that was the case)

[Paige]

I didn't take my DH. Part of it was cost and part was that he knew nobody and wasn't interested. I went with my childhood-high school best friend (female) who also left her introverted DH at home. We had a great time. Some people brought spouses and we weren't the only ones who didn't. I think you should do whatever you want. I think my friend and I spent more time talking with others than we would have with our spouses. There was no concern that they would feel left out or uncomfortable with us talking about history that they weren't part of.

[DawnM]

I am not answering per your request. My best friends are those I went to high school with so he knows more than one person there.

 

10 year I was not married, so he didn't go. It was in Dallas.

20 year we all went out to Colorado as a family for.

25 year was held in Chicago and he didn't go.

 

So, it depends.

[Hoot]

Honestly, if I were going I would WANT to take my DH only because I'm so incredibly introverted I would need someone to hang out with while everyone else mingled. That said, a) DH wouldn't WANT to go and I wouldn't ask him to and B) I would never want to go to said reunion anyway. I was friends with people in high school but I wasn't close with anyone. I'm superficial "friends" with some classmates on Facebook but have zero desire to reconnect with anyone there. Also, I graduated a year early from high school and didn't know anyone in my graduating class. I would have known those in my ORIGINAL graduating class, but wouldn't be invited to that reunion anyway because I didn't actually graduate with them.

[Paige]

I would have known those in my ORIGINAL graduating class, but wouldn't be invited to that reunion anyway because I didn't actually graduate with them.

 

I graduated a year early too and went to my original class's reunion. I'm sure they would welcome you if you cared to attend. Most of them didn't even remember I had graduated early. They just remembered I had been with them the other 11 yrs.

[TranquilMind]

When you answer keep in mind that my dh did not go to my school nor knows anyone who is going

 

If your spouse did go to the same school and/or knows more than 1 person you went to school with please do not answer in the poll.

 

 

 

I can't believe 25 years is coming up soon. I"ve never been to one of mine and I'm trying to figure out if my dh should go or not.

 

Here are my reasons for him not going...

1) cost. One person costs less than 2 people :)

 

2) I wasn't really friends with a lot of people. I'm introverted and talking to others is hard. I'm not sure it will be easier to talk to others with my dh who is even more introverted than I am. I'm afraid I will stay with him and not mingle more than chit chat with others.

 

Reason for him going: my friend is going and will likely bring her husband. My dh knows this couple but not well.

 

Any experiences would be appreciated.

 

I took mine. It worked out fine. He didn't know anyone but I'm more talkative so I just made sure I included him in some of the conversation. He was fine with it.

[DianeW88]

Well, I went to an all girls school, so parts of our reunion weekend are "girls only", and parts are with our spouses. It works out nicely.

[Meriwether]

Even if he did not want to go? Could you explain your reasoning why do you need him to come along? To show him to your classmates, or to lend you support because the reunion is something dificult?

I don't mean to be snarky, I just try to figure out why somebody would want to subject a spouse to something like this.

(Of course if the spouse really really WANTS to go, then by all means he should come. But the OP did not sound as if that was the case)

 

I think it is nice for Dh to meet the people I went to school with and have my classmates meet him. The kids and I went to one of his reunions, too. We both went to very small schools.

[hsingscrapper]

I would absolutely bring my dh. He is part of who I am now and I can't imagine not having him go with me.

 

:iagree: I didn't have the best experience in high school. He would be there for *their* protection.

[BamaTanya]

10th: dh went with me

20th: dh went with me and had as much fun as I did. Of course, my mom was still here then and she watched the 4 dc (at that time) while dh and I stayed at the hotel. ;)

25th: dh didn't want to spend the extra $ and knew one of my gfs was coming into town that weekend. He encouraged me to go with her. That way, I didn't miss it and she didn't have to go alone.

 

I like having dh with me, but he's an introvert and it takes a lot out of him. I leave the decision to him. He knows I'm an extravert and I LOVE spending time with my old friends.

[Parrothead]

Technically I haven't brought dh to any school reunions. I didn't go go any either. I have no interest in any of those people.

[regentrude]

I didn't have the best experience in high school. He would be there for *their* protection.

 

Why do you go to a reunion if high school was not a pleasant experience?

 

(I did not go to school in the US, so forgive me if I simply don't get some cultural norm here. We only do reunions for the classes of approx 30 students who stayed together as a class for eight years)

Edited September 16, 2012 by regentrude

[jengjohnson]

I voted no, but I actually took him to the 10 year, learned my lesson, and left him home for the 20 year. He's not into small talk and had no fun b/c he knew only a couple of people, I had less fun b/c I was worried about him. I had a great time at the 20 year by myself. Didn't have to feel bad about bouncing around and chatting with everyone. I felt a little nervous about finding someone to sit with at dinner, but everything worked out and we had a great night.

[hsingscrapper]

Not everyone was mean to me so I would be going to see them. It's the ones that were mean to me that may or may not be in jeopardy. I went to K-12 school and put up with it for 13 years. Our class numbered 30 in Kindergarten and we were only 17 by our senior year.

 

Every time my parents spoke up, things only got worse. :glare:

[Unicorn.]

I'm an introvert and I can't imagine him not going. I went to his, he went to mine. You don't like to talk w/ a lot of people, he gives you someone to talk to.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I go to my reunions by myself. Dh goes to his reunions by himself. We both have a blast talking about the "good old days" without having to explain all the inside jokes. Both of us have ongoing, though not super close, friendships with friends from high school though, so neither of us are sitting on the sidelines.

[sbgrace]

I went to my husband's reunion. He wanted me to meet people. He's more extroverted than I am and he was happy to go to his. I think most people brought spouses if I remember correctly. I didn't go to my own reunions. I just keep in touch with those I want to stay in contact with. But I'm introverted and my graduating class was so huge I wouldn't know the majority of the people anyway. I've never had an interest in going. If I decided to go, though, I'm nearly certain my husband would want to come.

 

If it's not important to you to have him there I would bring him if he wants to go and, otherwise, leave him home.

Edited September 17, 2012 by sbgrace

[LucyStoner]

This is just a theoretical question for me. I went to hippie high- very small, student governed, informal program. Any reunion we have is a free picnic or something for any year alum who want to come. Usually organized on FB. I have regular contact with the people from high school who I care about and have not gone to any of those gatherings.

 

I suppose if there was a more traditional reunion and supposing I wanted to go, I guess I would take my husband because frankly I would want to show off how awesome he is. :)

 

My husband did go to a regular high school and has never had the least interest in his reunions because he doesn't enjoy visiting his hometown.

 

There was a retirement party for a legendary lit and poetry teacher from my school. She opened her last class to all alum and then there was a big party the next day. I was planning to attend that with my brother but we both got sick and stayed away. I would not have brought my husband to that because it was really about honoring someone who had made a lasting impression on all of us personally. He wou have been the odd man out.

Edited September 16, 2012 by kijipt

[mumto2]

I voted no. I probably would if he really wanted to go but I don't really think he would.

 

I have only been to my 10th. Dh was on duty and could not come. I went with my 2 best friends from high school. We had a girly week in our former hometown. While we had fun every other day the reunion was not fun. We went from being confident women to pretty miserable in the time it took to pick up our tickets. All the clickiness and pettiness still existed. It really was the 10 year flashback nightmare. I did pick of lots of interesting gossip etc. It probably won't be too much fun either way. I would just go on my own.

[Brigitte]

I didn't because he was working. He has said that he has no interest in going with me if I go to any other reunions in the future. He is a bit older than I am, which I thinks affects his decision about wanting to go. Also, I went to a fancy prep school (on scholarship) and my classmates are financially successful or married to financially successful people. I think he would be uncomfortable in that environment.

[Jpoy85]

We went to the same highschool and were in the same graduating class so hed have to come. :lol:

[KarenC]

I am an introvert and it was not fun. I wouldn't take him unless he wanted to go.

 

Karen

[Prairie~Phlox]

I went with my dh to his class reunion this summer and had a blast. So did other spouses. It was a nice time to get away (it was his 20th)

[Running the race]

It depends if your spouse wants to go. I went without mine. He went without me.

[jennynd]

I went to my hubby's 20 yrs just a month ago. I regretted going. It was very uncomfortable for me. Those friends are trying to catch up. I am just completely outsider.

[black_midori]

It would not occur to my DH that he should even want to attend my reunion: he is an introvert, did not go to my school and does not know the people. So, absolutely no reason why he should be dragged along.

To be honest: if I did not have friends and did not enjoy small talking with people, I don't think I would attend my own reunion either.

 

:iagree: That's mine!! I actually laughed to myself about it - I'd have to basically DRAG him along & I'd know he was completely uninterested in being there, so I just wouldn't even bother to take him. I'd throw out the option ("oh hey, I'm going to my 25th reunion - interested?") but I'd fully expect him to get that deer-in-the-headlights look and bow out as quickly as possible. I guess if he WANTED to go I'd take him! lol.

 

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't go to my own HS reunion either, though, so that's a factor, too...

[Harriet Vane]

A different perspective . . .

 

My dh went to a large public school with hundreds in his graduating class. He was unsure of who would be at the reunion and nervous that few of his friends would be there. I went with knowing full well that I would be bored, but prepared to either make chit-chat with my dh if his friends were not there yet or just stand patiently with him while he caught up with old friends. Yes, it was boring, though I did enjoy meeting a few of the people he had known back then. I went for dh's sake.

[higginszoo]

It would have been nice to have him there, but cost of travel, plus the fact that we lived far from any family who could take the kids -- it just wasn't practical, so I went by myself. It was nice having some girl time with some friends who were either single or also logistically without their spouses/SOs, and a long meetup with some homeschool moms that I know from online ... those wouldn't have happened if I'd had dh with me, but if it had been an option, it still would have been nice if he could have come.

[JFJ in IL]

I voted yes...but I would def *ask* and not *require* :)

[sparrow]

I went to my 20th reunion in 2008, at the insistence of a lifelong friend on the planning committee. Dh went with me and I'm SO glad he did. Now he shares with others the story of attending his wife's high school reunion. First, there was my classmate that flashed everyone within 30 minutes of arriving. She passed out soon afterward. Later in the evening, a good, old-fashioned fistfight broke out. Just like you remember in the high school cafeteria. It was awesome :001_huh: :lol:.

 

Really, though, I can't imagine him not going. He's my best friend :001_smile:. We laughed. A lot.

[DarlaS]

Even if he did not want to go? Could you explain your reasoning why do you need him to come along? To show him to your classmates, or to lend you support because the reunion is something dificult?

I don't mean to be snarky, I just try to figure out why somebody would want to subject a spouse to something like this.

(Of course if the spouse really really WANTS to go, then by all means he should come. But the OP did not sound as if that was the case)

 

If you feel a reunion is something he would be "subjected" to, then both of you should probably skip the thing entirely. What's the point?

 

I only ever went to the first one and I did take my dh and our son (oldest ds was about 6 months old and it was an informal thing at a park).

[Kalypso]

My dh and I went to my 20th. He knew my best friend and her dh. He didn't know anyone else. He went with me so I wouldn't have to go alone.

[Word Nerd]

DH went with me to my 20th. I don't think I would have gone by myself.

[Hannah]

I went alone to my 20th (the first we had).

Dh had absolutely no interest in going and did not even go to his own. I did have the excuse of air travel for not bringing him and I wasn't the only 'single' there.

[fastforward]

When you answer keep in mind that my dh did not go to my school nor knows anyone who is going

 

If your spouse did go to the same school and/or knows more than 1 person you went to school with please do not answer in the poll.

 

I can't believe 25 years is coming up soon. I"ve never been to one of mine and I'm trying to figure out if my dh should go or not.

 

Here are my reasons for him not going...

1) cost. One person costs less than 2 people :)

 

2) I wasn't really friends with a lot of people. I'm introverted and talking to others is hard. I'm not sure it will be easier to talk to others with my dh who is even more introverted than I am. I'm afraid I will stay with him and not mingle more than chit chat with others.

 

Reason for him going: my friend is going and will likely bring her husband. My dh knows this couple but not well.

 

Any experiences would be appreciated.

 

My husband and I graduated from high school together (same year & school) and when our 10th anniversary came around, I went and he stayed home. First, ours was very expensive and we could not afford for both of us to go, and could barely afford for me to go, and second, he had no desire to see anyone from high school. A single friend of mine who also graduated with us ended up paying for me, and we sat together while my husband happily played with the kids at home. He doesn't regret not going at all.

 

I'm a bit biased, but I would stay to have him stay at home if he isn't going to be comfortable there or if he's not going to be chatty. Go with your friend and leave the husbands at home. :tongue_smilie:

[TheApprentice]

My dh went to his reunion without me, because I did not want to go. I would have not enjoyed myself, dh would be concerned with me enjoying myself the whole time I would have been there, and he would not have enjoyed himself as much. He had a good time and showed off his family through pictures.:001_smile:

[Kathryn]

When you answer keep in mind that my dh did not go to my school nor knows anyone who is going

 

If your spouse did go to the same school and/or knows more than 1 person you went to school with please do not answer in the poll.

 

 

 

I can't believe 25 years is coming up soon. I"ve never been to one of mine and I'm trying to figure out if my dh should go or not.

 

Here are my reasons for him not going...

1) cost. One person costs less than 2 people :)

 

2) I wasn't really friends with a lot of people. I'm introverted and talking to others is hard. I'm not sure it will be easier to talk to others with my dh who is even more introverted than I am. I'm afraid I will stay with him and not mingle more than chit chat with others.

 

Reason for him going: my friend is going and will likely bring her husband. My dh knows this couple but not well.

 

Any experiences would be appreciated.

 

I shared your same reasons for him NOT going, however he made it very clear that he would be extremely angry if I went by myself. He saw my desire to go alone as my being ashamed of him. I've not attended any of my reunions.