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Calling on psychologists in the group!


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I never could understand why a bride and groom would go through all that work of wedding planning and get cold feet at the last minute...

 

I don't have cold feet... I don't have cold feet... I dont have...

 

Really. Most things are all set. I have my nail appointment next week. I still need to buy make-up and decide on my hair. I have loved going for my dress fittings - I feel like such a princess! I have a most wonderful relationship with my man, he is generous, totally thoughtful, family centered guy. I have out of town guests starting to arrive in 2 more days. I don't mind busyness. I just have this ridiculous feeling inside that I don't want to go to the reception!

 

I want to meet the guests, I want to mingle, I want to leave! I think it is a wierd feeling that everyone will be watching me! Hey, maybe I could add that song to my playlist..."I always feel like... somebody's watchin' me.."!! I feel a little nervous. I think I am mostly worried that people wont have a good time? I don't know...

 

It's not this weekend, but next...

 

Any kind thoughts/encouragement? Should I go meet a therapist? :lol:

 

Bee

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I never could understand why a bride and groom would go through all that work of wedding planning and get cold feet at the last minute...

 

I don't have cold feet... I don't have cold feet... I dont have...

 

Really. Most things are all set. I have my nail appointment next week. I still need to buy make-up and decide on my hair. I have loved going for my dress fittings - I feel like such a princess! I have a most wonderful relationship with my man, he is generous, totally thoughtful, family centered guy. I have out of town guests starting to arrive in 2 more days. I don't mind busyness. I just have this ridiculous feeling inside that I don't want to go to the reception!

 

I want to meet the guests, I want to mingle, I want to leave! I think it is a wierd feeling that everyone will be watching me! Hey, maybe I could add that song to my playlist..."I always feel like... somebody's watchin' me.."!! I feel a little nervous. I think I am mostly worried that people wont have a good time? I don't know...

 

It's not this weekend, but next...

 

Any kind thoughts/encouragement? Should I go meet a therapist? :lol:

 

Bee

 

ARe you just overwhelmed, tired stressed? Find a quiet spot to relax before guests arrive. If it's anxiety or doubt go with that feeling now and postpone the wedding or talk to your fiance to resolve whatever it is making you feel that way.

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Hmmm....not a physch. My guess would be maybe you are mentally exhausted from all the planning.

 

You want every thing to go off with out a hitch. It's a big occasion.....

 

Take some deep breaths....go soak in some aromatherapy bubbles. Have fun....:001_smile:

 

Congratulations by the way.......:001_smile:

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So, take my advice for what it's worth.

 

From what little you are able to say in this medium to give me background, I wouldn't recommend a therapist. I think you've got two things going on here. At the heart of both issues, I think you're just going through some natural angst about a social event for which you feel people will somehow "judge" you.

 

First, as the bride, you will naturally be the object of attention, part of a couple who will be the center of attention. There's a certain amount of pressure associated with that feeling of being in the public eye. But, let's be honest here, the "public" in this case is your and your fiance's families and friends. If any audience is willing to be supportive and forgiving, it's got to be this one. The sole purpose of having a wedding versus eloping is to have the supportive presence of these other people. You are not there to please or entertain them. They are there to support you and your intended.

 

Second, as the bride, you also seem to consider yourself the hostess of the reception, primarily, if not solely, responsible for the comfort and enjoyment of your guests. What I've said above also applies here. Of course, you want people to have fun at your reception and for it to be a pleasant memory for all concerned. But, the object of a reception is to receive your friends' and families' congratulations and to welcome or greet them for the first time as a couple. I guess what I'm saying is YOU should be there to enjoy YOUR party (and I mean YOU plural, you and your new spouse). In planning, your object should be to have the reception reflect your and your new husband's tastes and preferences. The music should be music you like; the food, food that you prefer; etc. I don't know how large this party is going to be, but it would help if you had someone to keep things moving for you -- a relative, a caterer, a planner -- someone whose primary task is to oversee all the details for you so you can enjoy your day. You should be talking to your friends and family, dancing, smiling, kissing your guy, eating a little, and posing for pictures. That's more than enough for you to worry about. Find someone else to be the point man, or woman, for the caterer to bother with where to set up the buffet table, where to find a mop to clean up spills, and who to call to drive Uncle Harry home when he's had too much to drink.

 

Really, you have the right idea. Go to the reception, mingle to your heart's content, cut the cake, eat a little, dance a little, leave. That's all you should be doing. If you've taken on more than that, DELEGATE. Do it now. Do it often. Choose somebody you trust, and let them know what you want/need to have done and when. Then, relax. Nerves are normal.

 

Best wishes to you and yours on that special day.

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Thanks Linda, yep, a bit of bridal angst about the attention and people having a good time... I need to relax... relax... relax... thanks for helping me see that *we* are there to celebrate and enjoy, not make sure everyone else is... phew!

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