Melissa in Australia Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Hi guys, What strategies do you employ to get back you cool? I am meaning when you are beyond mad at someone, but quietly furious. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Read, usually light novels, and have long conversations all by myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 go for a run. do some hard heavy exercise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Anything I enjoy to get away from the person helps, be it going for a walk, reading, gardening, hiding out in the barn, shopping (window or real), or spending time here.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisamarie Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Housework (usually involves lots of slamming), read, shut myself in my room, go for a walk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Increasingly as I get older I try to focus on how destructive anger is and how upset I get when I let it take over. I have enough experience of being angry that this is quite effective :tongue_smilie:. I then concentrate on how I would ideally like to handle the situation, looking for positive things I can do that will address whatever has made me angry while also allowing me to feel 'good' about myself to some extent. I will treat myself kindly at these times, but I don't believe in just 'trying to forget' whatever has angered me, because I find that if I don't deal with it then it can fester and all comes out at some later date in a horrible uncontrolled way. There are occasions when having thought long and hard about a situation that has angered me I come to the conclusion that an angry outburst is probably justified, but at least having pondered it calmly for while the outburst, when it happens, at least comes out in a relatively rational, articulate way :D. Some things, of course, make us angry and there is nothing we can do, either in a calm, constructive way or by letting rip. I then try to just let it go. Anger exhausts me. I find that meditating helps enormously in this process of 'letting go'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I do the things others mentioned for cooling off until I can be objective and then I will really look at why I was angry. Did the person violate a boundary that should not be violated? Did the person do something wrong? While I don't want to be going off half-cocked, I do think that anger can indicate that something is wrong. And I don't think it is healthy to just stuff those feelings. It depends on what it is about and who it is that angered me but I might try to talk it out - by ourselves or in counseling. Or I will draw (or redraw) appropriate boundaries and enforce those boundaries. Or if I realize that my anger was an over-reaction, then I will just let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I leave the situation (ie. lock self in bathroom), cry, hit objects, pray, find some chocolate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Hi guys, What strategies do you employ to get back you cool? I am meaning when you are beyond mad at someone, but quietly furious. Thank you for posting this thread, Melissa. I really needed it today. Let's just say you're not the only one feeling "beyond mad but quietly furious" today. Let's just say that someone I thought was a friend has done something very hurtful, and while I know I'm done with the friendship, it's hard to let go of the anger. I was totally blindsided, and I usually see these things coming, but this time I had totally let my guard down, and I'm paying for it big time. I hope you're able to calm down and feel better soon. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 If it is someone I care about I usually sob for a while. I know, ridiculous. I make sure I'm by myself first. I kind of can't help it. Then DH finds me crumpled up somewhere and I cry on him. Then I get over it. Maybe I need some pointers too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 16, 2012 Author Share Posted September 16, 2012 Thank you for posting this thread, Melissa. I really needed it today. Let's just say you're not the only one feeling "beyond mad but quietly furious" today. Let's just say that someone I thought was a friend has done something very hurtful, and while I know I'm done with the friendship, it's hard to let go of the anger. I was totally blindsided, and I usually see these things coming, but this time I had totally let my guard down, and I'm paying for it big time. I hope you're able to calm down and feel better soon. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Hope you feel better soon too. I read something that really helped me get back my cool (at least outwardly) "Our behaviour is the result of our own biased interpretation of the world" Rudolf Dreikus. though I have switched the word our to his in my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Entropymama Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 Several years ago I was in a situation like you describe. I sat down and wrote a very long letter detailing the offenses and how I felt and stuck it in a drawer. I intended to send it at first but I found that just getting everything down really helped. Later I read the letter again and while some issues still had to be resolved, I was really glad I hadn't said those things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.