Hotel rooms and bedwetters

[DianeW88]

Yes we have that as well as plenty of protection for the mattress wherever we go. The issue is who gets the bed?

 

Non-bedwetter gets the bed. Hands down. Every night. You just cannot do that in a hotel. I wouldn't want to be the next guest who slept in that bed following the bedwetter. No matter how much the mattress was "protected". Sorry if that's callous, but that's the way it goes. Bedwetter sleeps on the floor.

[2squared]

If it were my kid he would wear an adult diaper and that would be final...

 

Seriously??? You would force your 11yo son to wear an adult diaper even if he felt it was emasculating? You would make him wear it even in a household with another preteen boy?

 

I have boys. They are bedwetters. Once they are embarrassed by the pull-up, the pull-ups stop. That's when we take care of bedwetting issues in other ways. I truly don't care about extra laundry if it preserves my son's dignity.

[Scarlett]

Seriously??? You would force your 11yo son to wear an adult diaper even if he felt it was emasculating? You would make him wear it even in a household with another preteen boy?

 

I have boys. They are bedwetters. Once they are embarrassed by the pull-up, the pull-ups stop. That's when we take care of bedwetting issues in other ways. I truly don't care about extra laundry if it preserves my son's dignity.

 

 

 

Why does anyone have to know he is wearing it? Trust me EVERYONE knows all the bedding is wet as it gets dragged to the laundry room every morning. And everyone will CERTAINLY know in a small hotel room.

 

To me an adult diaper under sleep pants put on at the last minute before hoping in bed would be MUCH less obvious.

 

And we do take care of bedwetting in other ways. But it is different when you are going to someone else's house or to a hotel.

[Murphy101]

I'm not sure why sleeping in the same bed would ever be an option in the first place. I would hate that. My 10 year old girls now opt to have one sleep on the floor. They don't sleep well in the same bed

 

I agree. There are times when I don't even want to sleep with dh and baby.:tongue_smilie: and some of my kids are nightmares in bed. My dd11 sleeps like she is fighting WW3 single-handed Jackie chan style. Her sisters can barely tolerate sleeping in the same ROOM.

 

Well, it isn't. It is about a kid who cries about everything and how we all go out of our way to avoid the meltdowns. And how eventually you realize that isn't fair to the other kids.

 

Then deal with that. Don't make the bed-wetting the issue. Talk to dh about how the catering and tip toeing about meltdowns needs to stop and decide how to make that happen together.

 

Sheets will have to be changed. They just have to. If it were my kid he would wear an adult diaper and that would be final...but he had such a melt down last time dh isn't making him. I sure don't want to push that idea on this trip with us all in one small hotel room.

 

I don't want these things to turn malignant by stuffing it down all the time. We all go out of our way to help dss keep his dignity....we all really feel for him. But he isn't the king of the world, you know?

 

If the sheets have to be changed, then the hotel might charge you more for that. Just an FYI. Also, as a mother who has dealt with children, her own and others, who have had encomprisis or bed wetting, it is a nightmare on those childrens' emotional and mental health long after it is resolved if not very carefully handled. How you think you might handle it might not be at all how you find yourself accepting your child needs you to handle it. I'm very practical by nature, but it's not the most important thing. There is not much gained by a kid with clean sheets and a trashed heart. Just be glad it's bed wetting instead of encomprisis. :grouphug:

[plansrme]

What does the hotel do with the mattress after a generous shower? I have never noticed a waterproof cover, but as a regular hotel guest, I want to know. Anyone know?

 

Terri

[Mama Geek]

If this is something that happens every month, can you alternate which one gets the bed each trip?

[Scarlett]

I agree. There are times when I don't even want to sleep with dh and baby.:tongue_smilie: and some of my kids are nightmares in bed. My dd11 sleeps like she is fighting WW3 single-handed Jackie chan style. Her sisters can barely tolerate sleeping in the same ROOM.

 

 

 

Then deal with that. Don't make the bed-wetting the issue. Talk to dh about how the catering and tip toeing about meltdowns needs to stop and decide how to make that happen together.

 

 

 

If the sheets have to be changed, then the hotel might charge you more for that. Just an FYI. Also, as a mother who has dealt with children, her own and others, who have had encomprisis or bed wetting, it is a nightmare on those childrens' emotional and mental health long after it is resolved if not very carefully handled. How you think you might handle it might not be at all how you find yourself accepting your child needs you to handle it. I'm very practical by nature, but it's not the most important thing. There is not much gained by a kid with clean sheets and a trashed heart. Just be glad it's bed wetting instead of encomprisis. :grouphug:

 

I know. You are right about that. Honestly, we all do a good job of handling it. And I guess that is why dh doesn't make him where the adult protection. Dh is so good and kind....and it is his kid and he knows him better than I do.

[Murphy101]

Why does anyone have to know he is wearing it? Trust me EVERYONE knows all the bedding is wet as it gets dragged to the laundry room every morning. And everyone will CERTAINLY know in a small hotel room.

 

To me an adult diaper under sleep pants put on at the last minute before hoping in bed would be MUCH less obvious.

 

And we do take care of bedwetting in other ways. But it is different when you are going to someone else's house or to a hotel.

 

It is different to have the sheets changed. That's a 5 minute blip in the morning. Wearing a diaper is an all night humiliation. It's like sleeping with the words BEDWETTER branded on them. Maybe no one can see, and it doesn't hurt, but is humiliating all the same. And it's almost worse when it's family. After all, who else do they love the most and thus want to be the most awesome for than family? And... Sorry.. But he may not feel like your son and ds' brother, so that adds yet another layer of humiliation.

 

Would it matter if someone woke him up a few times at night? Maybe set an alarm for every 2 hours, go wake him up and walk him to the bathroom? I know that might be too much to ask every night for months, but for just 4 nights?

 

I'll be honest and say I think having to do this every month is likely torture to him. Is it at all possible to not do this every month?

 

:grouphug:

[Scarlett]

It is different to have the sheets changed. That's a 5 minute blip in the morning. Wearing a diaper is an all night humiliation. It's like sleeping with the words BEDWETTER branded on them. Maybe no one can see, and it doesn't hurt, but is humiliating all the same. And it's almost worse when it's family. After all, who else do they love the most and thus want to be the most awesome for than family? And... Sorry.. But he may not feel like your son and ds' brother, so that adds yet another layer of humiliation.

 

Would it matter if someone woke him up a few times at night? Maybe set an alarm for every 2 hours, go wake him up and walk him to the bathroom? I know that might be too much to ask every night for months, but for just 4 nights?

 

I'll be honest and say I think having to do this every month is likely torture to him. Is it at all possible to not do this every month?

 

:grouphug:

 

To not do what every month? Come see his dad? :confused:

[Starr]

You don't get punished for bedwetting. Flip a coin for the bed. The cots are big and comfortable enough. I would pay whatever it costs for the cot to keep both boys happy in this case.

[Scarlett]

You don't get punished for bedwetting. Flip a coin for the bed. The cots are big and comfortable enough. I would pay whatever it costs for the cot to keep both boys happy in this case.

 

Well, as I have mulled it over by discussing it with you all....I think ds is fine with the sleeping bag on the floor. I'm the one withthe issue. And I just need to get over myself.

 

I agree you shouldn't get punished for bedwetting...nor should you be punished just because you AREN"T the bedwetter. Which is why my original question was 'who gets the bed?'

[DianeW88]

Well, it isn't. It is about a kid who cries about everything and how we all go out of our way to avoid the meltdowns. And how eventually you realize that isn't fair to the other kids.

 

Ahh, this is real issue. And I totally don't blame you. I can't stand kids who whine. Especially when it's manipulative. And 11 is too old for that sort of nonsense in my book.

 

However, since he's not your bio child.....you kind of have to grit your teeth and bear it. Which is completely not fair, but it is what it is. Lock yourself in the bathroom as many times as you need to and say yourself exactly what you'd say to him if you were in a position to do so. And in my head, that conversation would be, "Listen, you need to suck it up, buttercup. You may be a shining star, but you are not the center of the universe and you are not always going to get your way. And with me, you ESPECIALLY will not get your way if you cry and whine about it. In fact that GUARANTEES things will not go your way in my book." Then breathe deeply, put a smile on your face, and discuss it with your dh when you get home and the stress level is not so high. The conversation needs to be had, but in a hotel room, on vacation, isn't the place to do it.

 

Breathe deeply and go to your happy place. :D

[Murphy101]

If this is something that happens every month, can you alternate which one gets the bed each trip?

 

 

That's an excellent suggestion!

 

 

I know. You are right about that. Honestly, we all do a good job of handling it. And I guess that is why dh doesn't make him where the adult protection. Dh is so good and kind....and it is his kid and he knows him better than I do.

 

 

I'm sure you are doing good. I suspect this monthly commitment is just a huge trial on everyone's patience and making something otherwise frustrating a much bigger aggravation than it normally would be.:grouphug:

[Scarlett]

If this is something that happens every month, can you alternate which one gets the bed each trip?

 

We are just going to Branson this weekend. Doesn't happen every month. Sorry for that confusion. This might be the only time we have had these 2 boys in a hotel room together.

[Scarlett]

That's an excellent suggestion!

 

 

 

 

 

I'm sure you are doing good. I suspect this monthly commitment is just a huge trial on everyone's patience and making something otherwise frustrating a much bigger aggravation than it normally would be.:grouphug:

 

 

I'm so confused....there is no monthly commitment...dss11 comes to see us every other weekend. THIS weekend we are going to Branson and will be in a hotel room for 2 nights. First time, I think we have had both boys in a hotel room.

[Murphy101]

To not do what every month? Come see his dad? :confused:

 

I'm so confused....there is no monthly commitment...dss11 comes to see us every other weekend. THIS weekend we are going to Branson and will be in a hotel room for 2 nights. First time, I think we have had both boys in a hotel room.

 

I thought you mentioned this was a huge problem every time he visits dad? Sorry. My confusion.

 

If this is a one time effort at a family vacation and your ds is okay with it - then I'd let it go in the spirit of making this first blended family trip as pleasant a memory as possible.

[Murphy101]

See, this is where I disagree. When dh and I got together, my boys were 6 and 2 1/2. Both boys did well with letting him take over the father role. Dh's son was 12. We saw him regularly, as he only lived about half a mile away, and dh and his ex were very civil when it came to visits. Dss regularly went with us on camping trips, vacation, etc. Dss tried me...plenty...but in the end, dh let him know that as a child, he was expected to follow the same rules as my boys. He had to respect our ways when he was with us, and likewise, my boys had to respect him as another child in the family. Once dss figured out that dh wasn't treating any of the three any differently, we all got along fine.

 

Then what has changed? Which is off topic, so of course nm if you'd rather.:)

[Scarlett]

I thought you mentioned this was a huge problem every time he visits dad? Sorry. My confusion.

 

If this is a one time effort at a family vacation and your ds is okay with it - then I'd let it go in the spirit of making this first blended family trip as pleasant a memory as possible.

 

Well, he does wet the bed everynight. But at home we have that handled. The problem I was referring to is dss11 being prone to melt downs when the simplist things don't go his way. 2 weeks ago it was because we had no movies in the house he had not already seen. Seriously it was ridiculous. Dh had a big long talk with him...but it is an on going issue. So I was anticipating the melt down if he was told he would be sleeping in the sleeping bag. Or even the cot. And how dealing with it is harder for a father who only sees him 4 days a month.

[Scarlett]

Huh? The poster I quoted told her that it wasn't her child, so she had to keep quiet. I disagree. Just because one is a step-parent doesn't mean they have no authority. When a family is blended, kids need to learn to see the step-parent as an authority figure as well as their own parent. I couldn't imagine thinking that I didn't have to listen to my step-father when he married my mom. He was paying the bills, feeding us, etc. He deserved my respect back.

 

I think there is some wisdom in letting the bio parent handle their own child whenever it is possible and practical. I certainly say something if I need to or dh is not around...but in general we discipline our own children. Now that we have been married almost 2 years dh does more parenting of ds12 but he is with us all the time. I am much more cautious with my step son since I see him so rarely.

[RanchGirl]

If you feel it should be even steven, then I would have the non bed wetter take the bed the first night, and the bed wetter take it the second night. An air mattress on the floor for the other and get extra sheets and change them in between.

 

If Ds is fine with the rollaway or air mattress, I wouldnt have a problem with that, sounds like he is being kind and gracious. And dss might sleep better on the bed and it sounds like he has the most trouble with sleeping. I would not be comfortable with anyone sleeping on the floor in a hotel -- gross.

 

As for specifics on bedding, tidying up, etc., I would leave that between dh and dss and just make sure myself and Ds are out of the room so as not to add to any embarassment. I completely agree on not forcing anyone to wear the pull ups. Using a waterproof sheet is so much more comfortable and less mortifying.

[Mommy22alyns]

Non-bedwetter gets the bed. Hands down. Every night. You just cannot do that in a hotel. I wouldn't want to be the next guest who slept in that bed following the bedwetter. No matter how much the mattress was "protected". Sorry if that's callous, but that's the way it goes. Bedwetter sleeps on the floor.

 

:iagree:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, as I have mulled it over by discussing it with you all....I think ds is fine with the sleeping bag on the floor. I'm the one withthe issue. And I just need to get over myself.

 

I agree you shouldn't get punished for bedwetting...nor should you be punished just because you AREN"T the bedwetter. Which is why my original question was 'who gets the bed?'

 

Neither of my children (10 and 15) would consider sleeping on a cot or even a sleeping bag on the floor as a punishment, unless I would make it seem that way for them. It's just a logistical problem - esp. if you have a cot so that both boys have a somewhat soft surface to sleep on. We never stay that long in our hotel/motel rooms if we're staying anywhere anyway.

[Scarlett]

Neither of my children (10 and 15) would consider sleeping on a cot or even a sleeping bag on the floor as a punishment, unless I would make it seem that way for them. It's just a logistical problem - esp. if you have a cot so that both boys have a somewhat soft surface to sleep on. We never stay that long in our hotel/motel rooms if we're staying anywhere anyway.

 

Yes, well ds12 doesn't seem to view it as punishment so all is well. It is only for 2 nights.

[Kalypso]

Get a cot or an air mattress. Flip a coin.

 

 

:iagree:

[rosetyler]

haven't read all the replies so you may already know this, but they sell disposable underpads beside the pull ups. You can also use the washable underpads that they sell to go on cribs. This would be easier then stripping an entire bed I would think. The goodnites are the best option. My brothers had this problem all the way through high school. The 1 that lived with us had it the worst bc my parents made a *huge freaking* deal over it all the time. The ones that lived with thier dad did not have as much a problem, and I personally think it was bc in thier house it was just clean it up and move on. Sorry back to the point, underpads and pullups, and we always take an air mattress and that is what my special needs son sleeps on, I put a plastic sheet, regualr sheet, underpad, kid, sheet/blanket. I usually have to toss the pad, pullup, and top sheet. I replace those the 2 nd night and so on. It's better then completly stripping a bed every night and you only need extra top sheets, which we actaully pack ourselves and put in a plastic bag unless we are staying so long as to wash at the hotel.

[justasque]

The problem I was referring to is dss11 being prone to melt downs when the simplist things don't go his way. 2 weeks ago it was because we had no movies in the house he had not already seen. Seriously it was ridiculous.

 

You know, when a kid of that age melts down over something like this, it's usually about something else. Hunger, exhaustion, illness, stress, hormones, feelings about something altogether different that has nothing to do with the movies. Given we're talking 11 year old boy, in a blended family, at least two of the above are more-or-less present most of the time to start with. I've found that the best way to deal with it is not to get into it over the stated issue, but to focus on the feelings and gently create space where feelings can be shared and the real issue can be addressed from a place of love.

[DianeW88]

Huh? The poster I quoted told her that it wasn't her child, so she had to keep quiet. I disagree. Just because one is a step-parent doesn't mean they have no authority. When a family is blended, kids need to learn to see the step-parent as an authority figure as well as their own parent. I couldn't imagine thinking that I didn't have to listen to my step-father when he married my mom. He was paying the bills, feeding us, etc. He deserved my respect back.

 

I did not mean that she should not ever act as a parent to her stepson. I meant, that in this particular circumstance, where stepson is prone to throwing tantrums and freaking out, that it would probably be best if the bio parent handled the situation. Vacations can be stressful enough without having to deal with an 11 year old boy having a major meltdown because he is being "forced" to sleep on the floor. Stepmom inserting herself into that situation would only be escalating things and cause more tension than is necessary. And no doubt, it would ruin the vacation...or at the very least, put a damper on the fun. I also said that she should discuss stepson's issues with bio dad when the added stress of vacation (and having four people crammed into 300 square feet of hotel room) isn't there.

[Jennifer3141]

Non-bedwetter gets the bed. Hands down. Every night. You just cannot do that in a hotel. I wouldn't want to be the next guest who slept in that bed following the bedwetter. No matter how much the mattress was "protected". Sorry if that's callous, but that's the way it goes. Bedwetter sleeps on the floor.

 

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

How many threads have we had here about finding something gross in a hotel room? An 11 year old bed wetter sleeps on the floor or an air mattress you bring. The hotel shouldn't have to deal with someone's URINE. Yuck.

[Tap]

I would use an air mattress. If bed wetter gets the air mattress, then use a sharpie and write his name on one side. In the future you can flip it if you need to put someone else on it or it is just his forever :). Put one sheet on, then flip it over and put another sheet on the opposite side (or buy a zipper sealed full mattress cover) This will keep both sides clean from any floor cooties.

 

 

~~I would as non-bed wetter what he prefers privately but make no promises. I would ask him how he feels about the opposite option as well.

~~I would then do the same with the other child.

 

 

 

If they choose opposites, no biggie, problem solved!

 

If they choose the same, do rock paper scissors or what ever you prefer, knowing that this will be the way it is for this entire trip. The next trip you take, the other person will get their choice right away.

 

I am sorry you are having to make these decisions, it is hard when you have one child's uncontrollable actions, impact another child. :grouphug::grouphug:

 

 

Honestly, they are brothers who don't want to sleep in the same bed....I don't think that urination has to even come into play. What would you do if it wasn't an issue and they just refused to sleep together?

Edited September 15, 2012 by Tap, tap, tap

[Scarlett]

Wow. What a weekend. Friday night did not go well. At. all. Probably the biggest fight of our marriage. Thankfully it was still not that bad and we talked it through Saturday morning.

 

Friday night dh slept with his son and I slept with mine. Saturday night dss11 slept in his grandparents room.

[Barb_]

Wow. What a weekend. Friday night did not go well. At. all. Probably the biggest fight of our marriage. Thankfully it was still not that bad and we talked it through Saturday morning.

 

Friday night dh slept with his son and I slept with mine. Saturday night dss11 slept in his grandparents room.

 

:grouphug: Eesh. Sorry. Wanna talk about it?

[Scarlett]

:grouphug: Eesh. Sorry. Wanna talk about it?

 

LOL......Yes. I was so frustrated with my dh because he didn't solve it before MIDNIGHT at the hotel.

 

It ended up just I predicted....dss11 in tears and me all WTH!!!!!! I told dh, 'I do not do well, not knowing what is going to happen.' I was fine how it ended up.....me with my son, dh with his son.....but the uncertainty of it....yuck!

[Jpoy85]

ETA: read the update. :grouphug:

[Barb_]

LOL......Yes. I was so frustrated with my dh because he didn't solve it before MIDNIGHT at the hotel.

 

It ended up just I predicted....dss11 in tears and me all WTH!!!!!! I told dh, 'I do not do well, not knowing what is going to happen.' I was fine how it ended up.....me with my son, dh with his son.....but the uncertainty of it....yuck!

 

You must be completely worn out. At the risk of stating the obvious, you guys being on the same page as far as your stepson is concerned is going to have to be a priority. :grouphug:

[thebacabunch]

I actually really feel for your dss. Your kid gets to be with HIS dad more than he does. He has his dad and stepmom fighting over his bedwetting which is something he has NO control over. He is an 11 year old kid who has a broken up family and only gets to see his dad 4 days a month. I would caution you that any good parent will choose his or her kid over their second, third, etc. spouse.

[8circles]

At the risk of sounding snarky, which I don't want to do... why didn't you just each sleep with your own child in the first place? It just seems like the obvious solution. Even in non-blended families, its just what you do. 2 kids who don't want to or shouldn't sleep together FOR WHATEVER REASON each child sleeps with a parent. This isn't about the bedwetting unless you want to make it about that.

 

Im sorry you had a fight. Im glad it got worked out. I hope its smoother in the future.

[phathui5]

Yes we have that as well as plenty of protection for the mattress wherever we go. The issue is who gets the bed?

 

If you bring decent protection for the mattress, they could alternate nights.

[swellmomma]

nm, looks like you sorted it out

Edited September 17, 2012 by swellmomma

[Mama Geek]

:grouphug: Sorry things turned into a big mess anyway. Stepfamilies can be difficult. My folks split up when I was in middle school and my dad moved in with a lady that he never officially remarried, but lived with for several years until he passed away. Her family was a wreck and all lived either with her or within walking distance of her place. They also fought a lot. I was always very uncomfortable visiting my dad and never spent the night there or went away with them for the weekend. My mom didn't remarry until after I was out of the house and my brother was out of high school. She dated, but never had anyone live with us.

 

I hope that you and your dh can work these things out in the future before it turns into a fight between you or a meltdown with dss.

[pfamilygal]

Have you looked at these? http://www.snap-ez.com/Shopping.html#Diapers

 

We used them for our son before we got a bed alarm and helped him stop wetting.

[QueenCat]

Non-bedwetter gets the bed. Hands down. Every night. You just cannot do that in a hotel. I wouldn't want to be the next guest who slept in that bed following the bedwetter. No matter how much the mattress was "protected". Sorry if that's callous, but that's the way it goes. Bedwetter sleeps on the floor.

 

:iagree:100% Bedwetter gets what is easiest for HOTEL to make sanitary for the next guest.

[luvnlattes]

I'm sorry that Friday night did not go well. No advice, just :grouphug: .

 

Hopefully the rest of weekend went better and you were able to have some fun on your trip.

[RanchGirl]

you and your husband got into the biggest fight of your marriage over your 11 year old stepson's bed wetting? Please say it wasn't in front of him. Please please tell me this poor child wasn't in the middle of this.

[Scarlett]

I actually really feel for your dss. Your kid gets to be with HIS dad more than he does. He has his dad and stepmom fighting over his bedwetting which is something he has NO control over. He is an 11 year old kid who has a broken up family and only gets to see his dad 4 days a month. I would caution you that any good parent will choose his or her kid over their second, third, etc. spouse.

 

I am not really clear on what you are trying to say here. I in no way at any time asked my husband to choose me over his son.

 

And the only thing dh and I were 'fighting' over is the fact that he would not make a decision about who would sleep where before midnight when we got in the hotel room.

 

We weren't fighting over bedwetting. My dss11 is treated with dignity and kindness about his bedwetting. The fact of the matter is--and dh and I discussed this the next morning---is bedwetting was not the central issue. The boys don't want to sleep together and we need to deal with that ahead of time in the future....not at the last minute when everyone is exhausted.

 

Also dss didn't start crying because of anything I said....he started crying when his dad wanted to take him next door to sleep in his grandparents extra bed. But the next night he slept in his grandparents room and he was fine with it. Because he was told ahead of time....again back to my point that we all needed to know what was going on. That was what I was upset by.

[Scarlett]

you and your husband got into the biggest fight of your marriage over your 11 year old stepson's bed wetting? Please say it wasn't in front of him. Please please tell me this poor child wasn't in the middle of this.

 

No one was fighting about bedwetting! Good grief. My dh and I had 5 sharp words between us because I was upset that none of us knew who was sleeping where. That is all. My dh and I don't fight---ever--so a few sharp words WAS the biggest fight we've ever had.

[Scarlett]

At the risk of sounding snarky, which I don't want to do... why didn't you just each sleep with your own child in the first place?

 

Good question! Beats me, which is why I was so frustrated with dh. Just TELL me what you want us to do and we will do it.

 

It just seems like the obvious solution. Even in non-blended families, its just what you do. 2 kids who don't want to or shouldn't sleep together FOR WHATEVER REASON each child sleeps with a parent. This isn't about the bedwetting unless you want to make it about that.

 

Im sorry you had a fight. Im glad it got worked out. I hope its smoother in the future.

[2squared]

Also dss didn't start crying because of anything I said....he started crying when his dad wanted to take him next door to sleep in his grandparents extra bed.

 

I don't blame him. I'm sure he was tired and felt rejected that he wouldn't be sleeping in the same room as his dad. His dad's new wife and her son were sleeping in the room with his dad, but he was getting placed in a room with his grandparents. I'm sorry, but that just seems wrong. He only gets 4 days/month with his dad and he is sleeping somewhere else on those days?

 

I really, really don't know why the adults in this situation didn't just assume the sons were sleeping with their respective parents. Of course the boys didn't want to sleep together. Of course the son would prefer to sleep in a room with his dad rather than his grandparents.

 

Poor kid.

[Candid]

 

The bedwetter won't wear a pull up (he is 160 pounds) but it wouldn't matter...the non bed wetter will not sleep with him. Nor would I.

 

There are things like this for adults. They are called Depends. He needs to understand that even if he can't help this he has to protect others and property that does not belong to him.

[Scarlett]

There are things like this for adults. They are called Depends. He needs to understand that even if he can't help this he has to protect others and property that does not belong to him.

 

Yes, he did wear Depends for a while, but had a melt down about it and dh isn't going to make him wear them. Many on this thread have indicated that it can be very emotionally damaging to make an older kid wear them.

[Barb_]

Scarlett, to me it sounds like your dh really didn't want to be the one to make the decision. Is there any reason you couldn't say something like, "I think it would be best if each of us sleeps with our own son on this trip...I'm sure the boys would rather not sleep together. Any objections?" And just leave it at that. It sounds like you are waiting to be told what to do, but that doesn't seem to be what this situation called for.