kfeusse Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 we live in a teeny tiny town (400 people) and we often go to a neighboring town (2000 people) to the grocery store or drug store. At what age would you say it is appropriate to leave the kids in the car while you run in to one of those stores (neither is very large) and grab a few items (15 minutes tops)...assuming that it's not a very hot or cold day and the car would not be running. I would bring the kids, but they want to stay in the car. My kids are 12, 10 and 8. I wouldn't leave my 8 year old in without his older siblings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 hmm..for 15 minutes no, I wouldn't. I do it at the dry cleaner, and at the gas station, but both places I can see the car from inside the store, and i'm in and out in about 3 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 In our town of 2000, I leave the kids in the vehicle if I'm just grabbing something quick from the grocery store or the post office. The doors are locked and it's never running, and of course never on a hot or really cold day. They know not to open the doors for anyone, they know they have to stay in their seats and they read or play on their gaming systems. They are not allowed to open the doors for ANYONE, we even tested it with my mom pulling in shortly after me and knocking on the car door and waving. She asked them to let her in and they told her sorry, but they weren't allowed to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 My 13-yo stays in the car sometimes and has for several years. Our city has a population of about 100,000. Of course we lock the doors and don't let him stay in the car if the weather's too hot (cold isn't a big issue here). It's usually for no longer than 15-20 minutes. But he's big for his age and built like a linebacker, so I doubt many people would be quick to mess with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I have left my 10- and 12-year-old in the car to do a quick errand. Not a hot car, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I live in the middle of nowhere, and I leave my kids in the van while I run into the store all the time. I leave it running and locked. This is a common where I live, but our area is very 1950s. My 10yo dd rode her bike into town with a friend to eat dinner at Dairy Queen tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 At those ages? All the time. However, it wouldn't be an issue for me, because at those ages, my kids would have just stayed home by themselves. Even the eight year old...without his siblings having to be there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boscopup Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I'd be comfortable at those ages, as long as they are well-behaved (which I assume your kids are if you're thinking about it). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessicalb Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I would leave a child (or children) alone in the car when I think the oldest child in the car is capable of dealing with a car malfunction and the car rolling dangerously, a person or group approaching the car, or any other weird random event. My 14 year old could run a panicking younger child into the store, or hit the brakes or pull the emergency brake, or tell a stranger he isn't allowed to talk and call me to come back out. Two years ago? I don't know. Probably not. I've been in two different situations in my life where a stopped car started rolling, once towards a large commercial propane tank. The idea of leaving a younger child in that potential situation scares me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 at those ages, my kids would have just stayed home by themselves. DS typically stays in the car when I have to run an errand before/after one of his doctor or dentist appointments, before/after ball practice, after we've been out to eat, etc. Almost always in those instances it makes much more sense to do my errand(s) when we're already out than it does to take him home and then go back out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 I would never leave them in the car. Maybe at home, but not the car Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessicalb Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I would never leave them in the car. Maybe at home, but not the car Not even older teens or adult children? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 10 is my general rule. We live in a small town. Done pretty often here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I think 15 minutes is too long (and is very easily stretched to 20 or 25 with a problem at the register). It's not just due to their ages - I don't think it's particularly safe for anyone to do so, in the same sense that it is not safe to be anywhere in public while you are not paying attention to your surroundings. My guess is that they would be reading, talking, playing games or listening to music (if not, they might as well just go in the store). Being aware of your surroundings is the most important safety tip in every situation, and this scenario pretty much guarantees that they will not be. I would leave most kids of those ages home alone, I would leave most kids of those ages in the car while I ran into the post office or dry cleaners, but I would not leave them in a car on a public lot or street for fifteen minutes. Likewise, I do not let myself sit in the car and read when I show up 15 minutes early to pick them up for activities, I do not stare at my receipt when walking to my car, and so on. Not being aware of your surroundings in public is high risk and low reward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I started leaving my oldest in the car while I ran into a store at about 12. At that age she might have her younger brother with her (he would have been 1) if he was asleep. Starting about 14 or 15 I left her with the kids in the car with the car running and the doors locked. She knows not to open the doors for anyone, she had a cell phone to call me if needed, and it was broad daylight with a lot of people around. I used to hang out in the car reading all the time while waiting for her at dance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Check your state law. It would not be legal in some states. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stansclan89 Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I would say 10yo alone, and the 8yo would be fine with the 12yo, if they get along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidbits of Learning Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I would not leave mine in the car alone at all. I live in a pretty big area though where there are some pretty creepy people who would not think twice about breaking a window and doing horrible things even in the good neighborhoods. I would leave them home before I would leave them in the car. Just last week I let the girls go in the minute market while I pumped gas to get some sodas for us all. I parked after getting the gas in front of the store doors. I texted my oldest to see what was taking so long and she texted me back to come in to the store please. I thought there was an issue with my debit card. Nope, some 20 something year old clean cut grown man was hitting on my 12 and 11 year old girls who could not pass for over 12 in any one's imagination. Nope, I would never, ever leave them in the car no matter what. I thought about what if I would have went in to quickly get the sodas and this creep had approached the car instead of him approaching them in a store where they knew to go to the cashier and stall for time. The man was not leaving and was going to approach them again until I came in and well made a scene that wasn't too pretty with the cashier backing me up the whole way. The store was in an area where kids from school are coming in off the bus to get sodas on the way home. I can't imagine this guy trolling for middle school girls at this minute market daily, but I don't doubt that is what he does. I doubt I let them go in the minute market together without me for a very long time again. I never really thought about what I envisioned a pervert or child predator to look like in real life, but it wouldn't have been the guy that approached my 2 daughters together. I didn't wait to go in with them b/c we had been at the water park and the boys were in swim trunks and flip flops. Every one was thirsty and they were together. Instead, I wound up storming into the minute market over a text about a creepy guy with my half dressed boys making the biggest scene I have ever made and being really loud asking the girls what man was bothering them. At home with our dog and a deadbolt, I will leave them any day. If we are out and about any more, they are with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Check your state law. It would not be legal in some states. :iagree: I was going to post the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Check your state law. It would not be legal in some states. :iagree: I don't know what the law is in my state, but I will say that I almost never see kids in the car without a parent present. It's very rare, and I honestly can't even remember the last time I saw it. Occasionally, I might see a mom run into the 7-11 for milk or something like that, and leave an older kid in the car, but it's an in-and-out thing and they can see the car from inside the store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 It is illegal in my state for kids that age to be in the car alone. Mine stay home younger than that though which is legal, so maybe just leave them home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 yes, I would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I never left my children in the car alone, unless it was at a 7-11 and I was just getting a Big Gulp. I have bad memories of being left in the car with my siblings. It's one of the few things that I determined I would never do when I had children, and I stuck to it. so I would say...teen-age, 13 or 14 or older, old enough to really keep themselves occupied by themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kfeusse Posted September 15, 2012 Author Share Posted September 15, 2012 how do I find out what the state law is... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I'd me more likely to send dd into the store for me to pick up an item or two. As I have only one I wouldn't leave her alone in the car. She'd have no back up if something were to go wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 how do I find out what the state law is... http://nlyca.safekidsweb.org/resources/documents/Public%20Policy/NLYCA%20-%20Law%20Summaries%20-%203-14-11%20-Final.pdf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 we live in a teeny tiny town (400 people) and we often go to a neighboring town (2000 people) to the grocery store or drug store. At what age would you say it is appropriate to leave the kids in the car while you run in to one of those stores (neither is very large) and grab a few items (15 minutes tops)...assuming that it's not a very hot or cold day and the car would not be running. I would bring the kids, but they want to stay in the car. My kids are 12, 10 and 8. I wouldn't leave my 8 year old in without his older siblings. My girls say I left them in the car at 8. They were usually locked in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 It is illegal in my state for kids that age to be in the car alone. Mine stay home younger than that though which is legal, so maybe just leave them home? I always think that is crazy. It's okay to leave them home alone, but not in the car? What were the legislators thinking?:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kfeusse Posted September 15, 2012 Author Share Posted September 15, 2012 I always think that is crazy. It's okay to leave them home alone, but not in the car? What were the legislators thinking?:glare: yea, if I left them at home they would be alone a lot longer than 15 minutes....say, like about 45 minutes. anyway, my state laws says under the age of 7 is illegal...so now that I have that figured out...practically speaking, would you do it? My kids usually get along just fine, they are good kids, they usually don't do things they aren't supposed to do...like climbing in the front seat, messing with the controls, playing with the windows, etc. I would probably leave them at home, except we are in this town (of 2000) for piano lessons and it just makes sense (especially with gas prices and such) for me to make a quick run into the grocery store for a gallon of milk and a few produce items (or something). I would NEVER do any major shopping with them in the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 http://nlyca.safekidsweb.org/resources/documents/Public%20Policy/NLYCA%20-%20Law%20Summaries%20-%203-14-11%20-Final.pdf Oh wow, most of those it was okay to leave a 6 or 7 year old in the car alone. I wouldn't ever leave a kid that young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Beachy Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I always think that is crazy. It's okay to leave them home alone, but not in the car? What were the legislators thinking?:glare: Well, here in Florida, I'm sure it is because children die every year from being left in a car. While the majority of those cases are accidents, some have been from parents running in to a store to get something "real quick" and real quick turns into much longer. I know I have gone into a store to get something and have seen a sleeping baby in a car, and unfortunately, that same car (with baby locked inside) is still there when I come out. :) Beachy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Oh wow, most of those it was okay to leave a 6 or 7 year old in the car alone. I wouldn't ever leave a kid that young. That's probably from the view that the kids know right from wrong and won't screw up the car, and can sit for a few minutes. I'm guessing they didn't take into account the creeps that troll for little kids. At 7, my daughter could have been trusted to sit in the car alone for a few minutes. But I wouldn't trust the OTHER people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Mine are abot that age and I've left the older twO for about a year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I would probably leave them at home, except we are in this town (of 2000) for piano lessons and it just makes sense (especially with gas prices and such) for me to make a quick run into the grocery store for a gallon of milk and a few produce items (or something). I would NEVER do any major shopping with them in the car. Why wouldn't you just bring them into the store with you? (I'm not being snarky -- I'm just wondering! :001_smile:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Usually, they do go in with me. But if the little one was taking a nap, it was easier to let her sleep and have the big ones stay with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 ...It's not just due to their ages - I don't think it's particularly safe for anyone to do so, in the same sense that it is not safe to be anywhere in public while you are not paying attention to your surroundings. My guess is that they would be reading, talking, playing games or listening to music (if not, they might as well just go in the store). Being aware of your surroundings is the most important safety tip in every situation, and this scenario pretty much guarantees that they will not be. ... Really? Does this mean that you never sit in a park and read a book? That you never sit in the car and read or something while the person you're with runs into the store? That you never just hang out chatting with someone in public? I'm not trying to be snarky, but I really can't quite wrap my head around this. I do those sorts of things all the time, and I don't worry about it. It never even occurs to me to worry about it. I can't imagine feeling like I have to be vigilant all the time when I'm out in public. I've felt that way a few times when I'm in cities with high crime rates, but I can't imagine living my daily life with that level of vigilance. I don't leave kids in the car, but it's out of concern that some busybody would call the police, not out of concern for their safety at the OP's kids' ages. I do sometimes let the kids hang out at the park by the store or hang out with a book at a table at the front of the store while I shop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Why wouldn't you just bring them into the store with you? (I'm not being snarky -- I'm just wondering! :001_smile:) I was thinking the same thing. At those ages, there is no reason they cannot just go into the store with you. Taking a few minutes out of their life to walk around the grocery store with Mom isn't going to kill them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I do those sorts of things all the time, and I don't worry about it. It never even occurs to me to worry about it. I can't imagine feeling like I have to be vigilant all the time when I'm out in public. I've felt that way a few times when I'm in cities with high crime rates, but I can't imagine living my daily life with that level of vigilance. You didn't grow up in a city, did you? :D I don't think anyone is suggesting that you can't relax or read a book in the park -- it is very possible to relax and enjoy yourself while still being observant of your surroundings and watchful for suspicious behavior. Honestly, if you're not vigilant about knowing what's going on around you, you are the perfect potential victim, whether you're in a tiny town or a large city. And again, you don't have to be constantly frightened or act like a paranoid lunatic about it; it's all about being alert and aware, and not getting so caught up in whatever you're doing, that you don't pay attention to what's going on around you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 You didn't grow up in a city, did you? :D I don't think anyone is suggesting that you can't relax or read a book in the park -- it is very possible to relax and enjoy yourself while still being observant of your surroundings and watchful for suspicious behavior. Honestly, if you're not vigilant about knowing what's going on around you, you are the perfect potential victim, whether you're in a tiny town or a large city. And again, you don't have to be constantly frightened or act like a paranoid lunatic about it; it's all about being alert and aware, and not getting so caught up in whatever you're doing, that you don't pay attention to what's going on around you. Actually, I live in a large city and have lived in large cities my whole life. It's not a mindset that I or any of my friends here have, though we all do so when visiting some other places. For example, when I'm in Rome, with a much, much higher level of street crime, I'm vigilant. Walking through New York or downtown San Francisco with lots of people jostling past, I'm very aware of my bag. In a park by my house, I don't worry. It's not just me; I often comment to friends how interesting it is that people in a cafe will get up and leave their laptop on the table while they go to the restroom, or they'll leave an $800 purse lying in an unattended, expensive stroller while they play with their child on a climbing structure. Perhaps it's just differences in crime rates in cities in which I've lived, but in a city I know well, I don't feel that need to be always on my guard, except in certain areas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Really? Does this mean that you never sit in a park and read a book? A park, with other people in the vicinity, is quite different from being in a car (enclosed space, largely cut off from outside view). I would not be as likely to sit in a completely empty park and read a book. That you never sit in the car and read or something while the person you're with runs into the store? No, I do not sit in the car and read. That you never just hang out chatting with someone in public? Yes, of course I chat with people in public. That is not at all the same as the 'going inward, losing yourself, not looking around' activities of reading a book or listening to music, imo. And, while bad things can happen anywhere and anytime, there are defining factors that make sitting in a car, distracted, more dangerous than walking in a park or down the street - the small, enclosed space makes it harder to escape, for example. I'm not trying to be snarky, but I really can't quite wrap my head around this. I do those sorts of things all the time, and I don't worry about it. It never even occurs to me to worry about it. I can't imagine feeling like I have to be vigilant all the time when I'm out in public. I've felt that way a few times when I'm in cities with high crime rates, but I can't imagine living my daily life with that level of vigilance. I'm not hyper-vigilant every time I'm in public, but I am aware of high risk situations, which include being oblivious in parked cars and parking garages in particular. I don't leave kids in the car, but it's out of concern that some busybody would call the police, not out of concern for their safety at the OP's kids' ages. I do sometimes let the kids hang out at the park by the store or hang out with a book at a table at the front of the store while I shop. I would consider playing at the park or browsing in a different section of the store to both be, by and large, lower risk than leaving them in the car. My responses in red. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 I would sooner send those kids into the store than leave them in the car. Honestly, kids that age were never a problem in the store, or in and out of stores, or on errands. It was the kids when they were much younger, and in car seats, and overwhelmed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Refined by Silver Posted September 16, 2012 Share Posted September 16, 2012 My dh hates it when I stay in the car alone. Ok, not in the small town we live in, but when we are out shopping. Some times he wants to run in somewhere and I just don't want to go. Our first little tiff was when I was very pregnant with dd which was my first and he wanted to run into the mall to preorder some game. I told him I would just wait for him in the car. I figured it couldn't be more than 10 minutes. I was tired and didn't have any desire to look in EB Games or whatever it was then. He insisted I come in. I insisted I stay in the car. I got pretty ticked and I kicked the glove box pretty hard. lol You just don't mess with a woman and her hormones. He likes to remind me of that incident every once and a while. :tongue_smilie: The answer to your question. It just depends! I'd say if it was in a large place, then maybe a 15/16. It depends on the area and the time of day. Where I live now, I would let my 12 year old, but definitely not my 8 and we live in a very small place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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