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Emotional intensity - overexcitabilities


Embassy
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My kids seemed to peak out with these in their early teens. After that, it seemed like the kids are more intense than their peers, but have a better way to handle the intensity and get better about getting themselves under control when they get too worked up.

 

Thanks! Are they able to handle it better because of years of practice dealing with their intense feelings?

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Thanks! Are they able to handle it better because of years of practice dealing with their intense feelings?

 

I feel one of my most important jobs during the 5-10 year time frame was teaching my intense children emotional intelligence. I set the stage in the 5-7 year time frame, where they really are just learning and not being able to do a lot of controlling...25% of the time maybe. Then, the 8-10, they're able to apply the strategies about 50% of the time. The 11-13 year range, I'd say it goes to 75% of the time. And then, thereafter, about like a typical adult with *good* emotional intelligence (remembering that some adults never learn this skill!).

 

That's what I love about homeschooling; academics is just one of the skills being learned. For my gifted children, it was the easiest, and things like emotional intelligence and social interactions and sensory balance was more important, especially in the growing up years.

 

Anyone who has a child with anger difficulties, I found an awesome chart that really helped me understand the developmental process of learning skills in a book with kind of a lame title, but a great chapter on this (with the chart). It's called "How to Really Parent Your Child." and you can find a link to it here (under parenting) at my website: http://www.therightsideofnormal.com/resources-2/right-brained-resources/right-brained-resource-list/

 

Oh, and of course, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Raising Your Spirited Child" was priceless...in that same link above. In fact, a lot of books in my resource page can be helpful for intense children :-)

 

Hang in there...it does get better with consistent mentoring in emotional intelligence!

 

Cindy

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Cindy- What a great list! I just bookmarked your page, and I'm off to see if some of those titles are at my library.

 

YAY! I'm glad the list was helpful. Raising intense children isn't easy, but I've grown a lot as a person for having parented them. And they grow up to be really interesting people :-)

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