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What age would or do you leave your child at home alone?


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Dd12 started staying alone at age 9 without DS. At 11, DS was late 8/early 9 and allowed to stay home with her.

 

DS9 started staying home alone for short periods at age 8. Now a year later, he can stay for a few hours completely by himself and does well while I daysleep for 5-6 hours after a night shift.

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I think it totally depends on the child in question. The first thing you should do is to check with the local authorities and see what the minimum age requirement is. It may be different for a child home alone and a child taking care of siblings.

 

Here are a few different scenarios to think through:

 

In general, is the child trustworthy? Will he/she obey the rules you have in place?

 

Is there a way to contact you quickly should the need arise?

 

Is there a nearby neighbor that a child can call if they can't get in touch with you?

 

If there is an urgent situation, will the child be able to remain calm enough to follow whatever procedures you

have discussed (i.e., cleaning up a big spill, evacuating in case of fire, being able to keep sibling A from hitting sibling B, sibling C is screaming at the top of her lungs for 30 minutes, etc.)?

 

Start with short trips, such as a quick run to the grocery store, then work towards intermediate length trips, such as a dentist appointment and go from there. Be careful not to do it too often, especially at the start. Situations that aren't overwhelming the first time they happen could become overwhelming if the child has to experience them more frequently than they are ready for - once a week might be fine, but don't move too fast toward 2-3 times a week, for example.

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I started leaving mine alone this year -- they are 12 and 9. At first just for short trips, like to the grocery store, but then I started leaving my oldest home alone for longer periods, like if I needed to take my youngest to the doctor and didn't want to expose my oldest. I have not left my youngest alone, except when we were right down the street at a cook-out (within walking distance, during the day.) The boys have been left together as long as 4 hours in the afternoon, when my DH cut his finger and we had to go to Urgent Care. I'm not so keen on the alone-at-night bit yet, but DH and I have a party to go to in a couple of weeks, and I will probably leave them from 6 until 9.

 

ETA: I don't know if this is relevant, but both of my boys are scouts so they have gotten a bit of training in emergency situations, and the oldest has earned the First Aid merit badge.

Edited by Serenade
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My boys, almost 13 and 11, stay home for date night, when I go to the grocery store, that sort of thing. They were home alone younger than that for a bank/grocery store run.

 

My parents live 1/2 mile down the street, our eldest rents across the street from us, and we live in a very safe neighborhood. They know how to use phones and cell phones. They know to keep doors locked and to not answer them. Nathan has been cooking his own bacon, eggs, toast and tea for a couple years now. When my husband and I went out of town for the weekend, my mom watched them in the evening, and they spent the night, but they spent the day here. She checked in on them by phone. Nathan made lunches, etc.

 

I was babysitting our neighbor's daughter when I was 10 and she was under one. I know that sounds crazy, but I was a super-mature kid, and my mom was right next door. I would even clean their kitchen, wash their dishes and organize the baby's drawers and tidy her room while she slept.

 

PS -- I do call in when I'm at the store, out to eat.

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we started at age 10. It was friends who had left their boys the same age home alone that led me to try it this year. It's been short time spells. 15 min up to an hour. We don't have a home phone so until we get another cell I won't go past an hour. I did once leave him here with a friend for 15 min while I dropped another child off.

 

My kids biggest issue is ignoring the doorbell if it rings :001_huh:

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Around 10 yo for 5 minutes or so. I was hs my oldest while the second oldest was still in ps. School was 2 blocks away in low traffic. It would generally take me 7 minutes round trip.

 

At 11 I would leave my oldest with her 9, 7, and 5 yo siblings while I was gone for an hour to get my hair cut down the street. Every 3-9 months or so.

 

Or driving dh to work. About 1 mile away. We had one working car at the time and the children were still in bed. Dd did know I was going.

 

Now at 15, she and her 12 yo sister will stay home if all youngers are napping. I do this if I have a doctor's appointment I would rather they not attend. (Like OB.) dh and I sporadically do a date night and leave the children home for a couple of hours. We pump them full of snacks and give them a movie they are interested in. We have several neighbors close by if they need someone immediately and we stay within 20 minutes of home with a phone close by.

 

I would not do this if they didn't ask and if they were younger.

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7 by himself for short periods, worked up to a couple of hours. Only during the day though, and absolutely not at all with another child. Ds is very responsible on his own, but loses his mind and comes up with all kinds of crazy things to do when he's playing with another child.

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The problem is, what does the law say?

 

No specific law here. It's like business tax paperwork and the IRS. :tongue_smilie:

 

You only have to keep tax papers for ___ years unless you didn't claim all your income or made intentional errors, but in the end, if you don't keep all the paperwork, even if you didn't file incorrectly, you cannot prove anything unless you keep the paperwork.

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The problem is, what does the law say?

 

Depends on the state. Here, it's 8 and a child watching anyone younger than 8 has to be 13, regardless of whether the charges are siblings or someone else's kids.

 

In October, I will be leaving them alone for an hour while I teach a class across town (our town being about a mile across) every fourth week when my husband is at work on the day I teach. B is 11 and H&Q will be 8. Last year when I taught, I rotated with a colleague for those days.

 

I have every confidence that they are able to conduct themselves appropriately for that hour. They could now, but it's just not legal.

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I think this is the closest NC comes to a "home alone" law:

 

§ 14‑318.� Exposing children to fire. If any person shall leave any child under the age of eight years locked or otherwise confined in any dwelling, building or enclosure, and go away from such dwelling, building or enclosure without leaving some person of the age of discretion in charge of the same, so as to expose the child to danger by fire, the person so offending shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

 

I started leaving both of mine home alone for short periods of time when they were around 10. When youngest was 10 oldest was 13, and at that point I felt they were both plenty mature enough to handle being alone together. And we've always had at least one trustworthy neighbor who was home most of the time. Now youngest is 13 and I feel comfortable leaving him alone for several hours at a time.

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Depends on the state. Here, it's 8 and a child watching anyone younger than 8 has to be 13, regardless of whether the charges are siblings or someone else's kids.

 

In October, I will be leaving them alone for an hour while I teach a class across town (our town being about a mile across) every fourth week when my husband is at work on the day I teach. B is 11 and H&Q will be 8. Last year when I taught, I rotated with a colleague for those days.

 

I have every confidence that they are able to conduct themselves appropriately for that hour. They could now, but it's just not legal.

 

 

I thought it was 12 for leaving them in charge, but yep this is our state law.

 

That being said there is no way that at this current moment my eldest DS will be able to be left alone at 8. I still have 2 1/2 years till he is 8, but currently there is no way I could see leaving him alone at that age. My DD will probably be able to handle it (then again if her elder brother was here urging her on she could probably handle it now at 3 as well).

 

At this current time I don't think DS1 will be left alone much before 10, and maybe not even before 12. It really depends on the child though and how they would do alone or with siblings.

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I thought it was 12 for leaving them in charge, but yep this is our state law.

 

That being said there is no way that at this current moment my eldest DS will be able to be left alone at 8. I still have 2 1/2 years till he is 8, but currently there is no way I could see leaving him alone at that age. My DD will probably be able to handle it (then again if her elder brother was here urging her on she could probably handle it now at 3 as well).

 

At this current time I don't think DS1 will be left alone much before 10, and maybe not even before 12. It really depends on the child though and how they would do alone or with siblings.

 

I think 12 in charge of siblings is the common belief here, but the law doesn't differentiate. I wonder why people think that. And I was under the same impression until I looked it up in reference to October, so I was misinformed for at least the past 23 years of parenting... I'm not casting aspersions, just wondering how that came to be the prevailing idea. Weird.

 

Once outside of legal constraints, I agree that it's totally dependent on the individual kid.

Edited by MyCrazyHouse
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Not only child dependent here, but it also depends on the area.

Our eldest started staying home alone around 10 for short periods without her siblings, now I will allow her to stay home for up to an hour by herself (she is 11), for very short increments (like 15 minutes) with her 3 year old brother.

If we didn't live in such an awesome neighborhood (where she has only to knock on any door to receive immediate attention and/or help), I wouldn't do it until MUCH later.

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Mine are a mature 7 and almost-6 and I will leave them watching a tv show while I run to the post office box (10 minutes max). They are alone longer than that when I'm in the shower.

 

Looking forward to when the 7yo is ready for me to leave him home alone while I take little sis to her ballet class. It feels so silly to drag him along and have him just sit and wait for an hour in a cramped busy little hallway. It probably won't be too long now.

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WE have lived in many places and I followed the laws or the base recommendations. Basically, about 10 years old for short periods of time was the rule in Florida. I think VA was 12 but my kids were all over 12 by then. I remembered thinking I didn't want to be moved to one state because it was 13 and that would have been a hassle. My oldest didn't start watching the kids until he was 14 mainly because he wasn't well suited to it at an earlier age. My second watched her sister at age 11 and did a great job with her when she broke her arm. She had had babysitter training with the Red Cross. The younger one also had babysitter training at one point. She also was watching her when she broke her arm at age 15. (MY youngest, it turned out, had juvenile osteoporosis and ended up breaking bones from the first one at her age 8 to 14 about 7 or eight times).

Once my oldest turned 14, he did become mature enough to watch kids. He did a very good job with it. It just took him longer to become mature enough for the job. But he ended up doing jobs like teaching Boy Scouts at camp and being a summer worker at a day camp and he did very well with those jobs.

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No law here, except something about not leaving a kid in a car parked in front of a tavern :lol:

 

I have no doubts I could leave my kids half a day (not that I would for that long) but DS is rather paranoid and wouldn't let me leave for 5 minutes.

 

It was so bad at one point if I would open the garage door he would peak out. He had some fear of something happening to me.

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Whatever state law says. Regardless of when I think a child may be old enough, I wouldn't do anything that conflicts with state laws.

 

There is no law for this in Utah, it's up to the discretion of the parents. Many other states are the same.

 

I looked this up a few weeks ago for Michigan and didn't find any law. Parental discretion. While it may be legal for me to leave my DS8 home alone, I have just this summer started allowing him to ride his bike alone through our subdivision. Staying home alone is a bit beyond my imagination right now.

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Anywhere between 9-12 depending on the child. My oldest ds will be allowed to stay home for short trips to town (20-30min) when he turns 9. My dd will probably be a little older because she's a day dreamer and doesn't pay attention to the world around her very well. My youngest ds, well he might be lucky if he's allowed home alone unsupervised before the age of 16. He is very impulsive and very imaginative, and those two things don't mix well. If I left him home alone I'd probably come home to find him sliding off the roof again.

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Around his 8th birthday, I started letting E stay home for a few minutes here and there, and now he stays home while I take J to violin lessons and things like that. He'll be 10 in January. So far, I haven't had to leave them both home together, and J won't even consider staying home alone.

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With my dd it was 11 by herself for under an hour. At 12 she stayed with her younger siblings again for under an hour. Now at 14 she can watch them during the day for several hours. I think I will wait till she is 15-16 to have her watch them at night. My DS just turned 12 and he stays by himself with no issues. I can leave him with younger siblings for an hour or so.

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I don't leave my girls home alone and they are 10. It's just not worth the worry.

 

If we were still in our very close knit neighborhood, I could leave one of the twins home for an hour, maybe two, if a neighbor knew. They other twin? I'll be lucky if she can stay home alone at 16. :)

 

 

One of my friends used to leave her 1st grader home with two younger siblings while she ran to the store. I thought she was completely nuts.

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My 11 yr old will stay home for short periods like up to an hour. I do not leave his younger siblings with him.

 

I'm wondering if I can leave him with his younger brother(s) once he's 12. I was babysitting when I was 12.

 

I remember being very insulted when my parents hired a babysitter for me and my brother when I was 12 or 13. I was babysitting for other people at that point, and had been staying home alone for years, but they didn't feel my brother and I got along well enough for me to be "babysitter" for him. They were probably right on that one, as much as I disliked it at the time :lol:

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There are very few states with laws. NC is 8 and IL is 14. I think Oregon and Maryland are the only other with stated ages. The rest either have recommendations or no set age.

 

 

Illinois is 14? :svengo: I'm suddenly very glad I don't live in Illinois. That seems ridiculously old and restrictive!

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Gosh i remember being about 6 and being home alone (my brother was suppose to be watching me but he wouldnt).Of course i also knew if i did anything bad my butt would be all the colors of the rainbow too.

I dont know about leaving my 6yr old alone quite yet. How do you find the law? Im in OH

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Another one with no state law here.

 

We would consider leaving them for short periods (<20 minutes) starting at around age 8, depending on the child's judgment and maturity. Time would gradually increase from there.

 

Though we're not there yet, I think I'd be comfortable leaving a responsible 10 year old for a couple of hours alone, or for short periods with a well-behaved 7 year old sibling or a napping baby, especially if I knew the neighbors were home.

 

Toddlers and preschoolers, no way -- they need too much supervision, and would either be coming with me or left with an older teenager or adult.

Edited by Eleanor
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Illinois is 14? :svengo: I'm suddenly very glad I don't live in Illinois. That seems ridiculously old and restrictive!

 

It's kind of funny to think that my grandmother, who had her first child by 14, wouldn't be able to be home alone. :lol: I was 15 when I got my learner's permit.

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I leave my 11 and 9 year olds for up to a couple of hours, and I'll leave the 6 1/2 year old with them if it's just going to be a quick, 20-30 minute errand. We just moved from a house where it took me 20+ minutes to get much of anywhere to a house where almost everything is 5-10 minutes away, and knowing that I can be back in 5 minutes if need be makes a difference.

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