I feel like I'm losing my two oldest children

[kortney in AL]

My 17 year-old ds has been at my inlaws in another state since the middle of May. He is working for my FIL (okay, be patient with me - I'm still learning to use some of these abbreviations:)) for the summer. My 16 year-old dd has gotten a full time summer job for the first time, and is driving herself, so I hardly have seen her this summer either. While I'm excited they're maturing and working, it has been kinda sad for me around here. They're my babies and it's killing me to see them getting this old and staying away from home more and more. I know, I know, this is a fact of life with kids, they do have to grow up sometime. I just miss them being around all the time. Do you think homeschool moms feel this moreso than moms that don't homeschool? We're so used to them being at home all day.

[WTMindy]

My 17 year-old ds has been at my inlaws in another state since the middle of May. He is working for my FIL (okay, be patient with me - I'm still learning to use some of these abbreviations:)) for the summer. My 16 year-old dd has gotten a full time summer job for the first time, and is driving herself, so I hardly have seen her this summer either. While I'm excited they're maturing and working, it has been kinda sad for me around here. They're my babies and it's killing me to see them getting this old and staying away from home more and more. I know, I know, this is a fact of life with kids, they do have to grow up sometime. I just miss them being around all the time. Do you think homeschool moms feel this moreso than moms that don't homeschool? We're so used to them being at home all day.

 

My 11yod was gone all day on Saturday and part of the day on Sunday and I kinda freaked out and felt like she was gone too much, so I can only imagine how you must feel!! I want them to grow and spread their wings, but I really don't like them gone!!!!

[PrairieAir]

I don't know if homeschool moms feel this way any more than other moms. I think I would feel that way even if I hadn't homeschooled. The oldest three have been in ps (14yo started last year) and the youngest will be going to ps this fall. It doesn't seem to get easier just because they've been in ps a while.

 

I noticed our kids are all about the same age, so I completely understand what you're saying though. Lots of growing pains here! My 14yo is away at wrestling camp in another state for 12 days--first time away from home alone with no other family with him. My 16yo will be graduating high school next year and likely going away to college next fall. My 17yo has enlisted in the Marines and will leave for boot camp in September. And now the baby has said she wants to go to public school and we are letting her. I'm so proud of the fine, wonderful people they've become, but it is awfully hard to watch them grow up and go away.:crying: This is the moment we've been building towards though, isn't it? We've taken such care every step of the way so that some day we could let them go and know they'd be okay. It will :grouphug:be okay.

[Amy in Orlando]

Oh I know how you feel. My own boys are headed in this direction and it's hard. We've worked hard all these year to help them become self-sufficient and now that they are, I want them to not be? Really, I don't, but it IS a totally strange feeling.

 

(((()))))

[Mom to Aly]

My dd is 9, and I'm already freaking out about when she will go to college--I'm hoping online college will be big then, but I loved college and want her to go--and this keeps me up at night! LOL--sob sob!

[GSMP]

I am dreading that day.....I all ready feel like my time is short and we are quickly running out of it.......

 

It's great though and it shows you have done a great job raising responsible children....pat yourself on the back.....:grouphug:

[TammyinTN]

Our 20 year old daughter left for Kuwait in April and boy was it a shock for us. We miss her but realize it's time for her to spread those wings. She comes home for her first R&R in 36 hours....I can hardly wait!:D

[Lolly]

I don't think it is homeschooling, maybe more just personality differences. Having been with my children more than most seems to be letting me let them go easier. I am ready for that next step as it comes because I am not turning around and suddenly seeing them vanish. Because I have so much time invested in them, I feel that our bonds are stronger and tighter. I won't turn around and find them vanished. They will still be there. Their bonds with each other are stronger than most sibling groups I know. I believe we are going to stay pretty close even though distance and time together diminishes.

 

Of course, my mother was the same way. She was always very glad for us to move to that next stage. Perhaps I am just reliving what I saw growing up.

[Chris in VA]

I can really relate. When ds had to leave home for a year, the whole house felt empty, even tho 4 of us were still here. Now we only have oldest ds for one more year, before he goes to college.

 

I never really knew what was meant by "it goes so fast!" When they were little children, my world, my role, my identity was so bound up in them, and sometimes I really longed for separateness. I've had my fill of brokenness in our family, so now I'm longing for togetherness and unity.

 

I'm not big on transitions, unless I initiate them, so I find it very challenging to deal with the ones coming up. My emotional heart really, truly aches. Time is just flying, and I am thinking all about my life, and how it will not go on forever on this earth. My faith says it's all good--I have eternity and all that, but it's not, strangely, comforting at the moment.

 

I want to go back to the happy time of us all living together, the boys being around 1st and 3rd grade--oh, wait a minute, we didn't have dd yet then. Ok--5th and 4th grade (one repeated a year!)--oops, I wasn't healthy that year. Hmmm.

 

I remember one day in Texas, watching the rain while I was safely on the porch, holding newborn Nature Girl. The sheet of living silver pouring down in front of me, the song of God, the sweet smell of the earth, the warm bundle in my arms--I remember saying "This is it. Right now--the time I will always remember as The Best Time." Always being a future-thinker ("better times are coming") had it's advantages, but I forgot to appreciate Right Now. I forgot to look down and see what was right in my hands at the moment, instead of reaching for something else. For that one, 10 minute segment of that one day on the porch, I realized the art of gratefulness was something I'd have to learn.

 

As we grow older, and our lives change, I suppose there's the possibility of things being even better--some days, I need the future to be brighter. But I'm learning to see this time as fleeting, and to drink it in, and savor it at the same time. Just because something is unknown doesn't mean it has to cause me to be anxious. Sameness isn't all it's cracked up to be. If I remember to allow my life to unfold naturally, embracing each stage with joy and a sense of adventure, perhaps each day can be The Best Time. Wouldn't that be lovely? I don't want to miss a thing.