J-rap Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 This is a little long -- sorry! Our son-in-law from Costa Rica finally received an extended visa to visit, so he and our daughter (newlyweds of 8 months) are here with us right now. My daughter is taking a semester off of school (in Costa Rica) and my SIL a leave of absence from his job so that they can be here with us, helping my husband, etc. Our daughter is able to work while here, but our SIL isn't (the visa is just a tourist visa). He wants to keep busy though, so is doing a couple of volunteer internship type jobs, working on a small organic farm and helping with a non-profit environmental group in town. Yesterday he was at the non-profit office, helping to get ready for a big art show our town is having in a couple weeks. He was out back behind the building, sprucing it up a bit. A man walked up to him, and first gruffly asked him what he was doing. (We are a very homogeneous town of Scandinavian descendents, so SIL stood out.) Our SIL knows he is the new person in town and people will be curious about him, and he is politely talking with everyone and answering all of their questions. (Everyone up until now has been very welcoming and friendly, and pretty much knows who he is anyway given this is a fairly small town!) The man then made some snide remark about how he (our SIL) was doing a white person's job, and was he doing community work for a crime he committed? Our SIL was still trying to be patient and kind, and he answered his questions matter-of-factly while continuing to work. Then out of the blue, the man asks him if he needs any drugs! He said he could get him any kind he liked, just name it. Our SIL explained that he didn't use drugs of any type, and then went back to work. The man wouldn't let it lie, and brought it up yet again. He told our SIL his name in case he had second thoughts and wanted to get ahold of him later. If the name he gave our SIL is true, and also given the physical description our SIL gave us, he is a fairly active member of our community, the retired manager of a downtown business. If we can verify that it is the same person, WWYD? I'm burning mad right now, both that this man was rude and taking advantage of a young man because of his race and who clearly is not from here, and because of his attempt to line up a drug sale. I've also explained to our SIL that just because he is the new person trying to make a good impression, he doesn't have to be friendly to everyone and can either be more assertive or walk away from people who are rude or nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Given his initial behavior, I would wonder if the man were trying to get your SIL to say he wanted to buy drugs so he could then report him and cause trouble. Sounds like a charmer. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Is he, perhaps, suffering from dementia, or has he always been an a$$hat? If its the former, I might want to speak to his family. If its the latter, he'd be getting an earful from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Given his initial behavior, I would wonder if the man were trying to get your SIL to say he wanted to buy drugs so he could then report him and cause trouble. Sounds like a charmer. :glare: This is my first thought, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowbeltmom Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 If the name he gave our SIL is true, and also given the physical description our SIL gave us, he is a fairly active member of our community, the retired manager of a downtown business. If we can verify that it is the same person, WWYD? I'm burning mad right now, both that this man was rude and taking advantage of a young man because of his race and who clearly is not from here, and because of his attempt to line up a drug sale. I would be afraid that this man is trying to set your son in law up in hopes of getting him deported. I would advise son in law to have no further contact with this man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Is he, perhaps, suffering from dementia, or has he always been an a$$hat? If its the former, I might want to speak to his family. If its the latter, he'd be getting an earful from me. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I agree that it sounds like a clumsy setup. Jerk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mo2 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Given his initial behavior, I would wonder if the man were trying to get your SIL to say he wanted to buy drugs so he could then report him and cause trouble. Sounds like a charmer. :glare: :iagree: I wouldn't expect an actual drug dealer to keep pushing like that. Sounds like he wanted to get your SIL in trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I'd send my dh to take care of it in which ever way he saw fit. I would suggest that he not bring up the drug issue until the end, when I would politely (:glare:) suggest that if he brought up drugs again to my SIL I would call the police on him for dealing drugs. Unfortunately, I could believe that he brought up drugs just to see what your SIL said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 Well you all are clearly more perceptive than I am. It didn't even occur to me that it could be a rather clumsy set-up. Makes sense. What a jerk. I've known him for years -- not well, but just from doing business at his place. He was always friendly, but strange too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 That was my first thought as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I totally agree with the posters who think the rude man just wanted to make trouble for your SIL. He probably would have made a citizen's arrest if your SIL had attempted to buy drugs from him. I would report this behavior to the police to teach him a lesson about treating people of different races differently. Nothing will happen, the police will make a small call of the man, he won't be arrested, but he will get the picture before he does something like that again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I totally agree with the posters who think the rude man just wanted to make trouble for your SIL. He probably would have made a citizen's arrest if your SIL had attempted to buy drugs from him. I would report this behavior to the police to teach him a lesson about treating people of different races differently. Nothing will happen, the police will make a small call of the man, he won't be arrested, but he will get the picture before he does something like that again. :iagree:I wonder if there is any way that harrassment charges could be pressed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I totally agree with the posters who think the rude man just wanted to make trouble for your SIL. He probably would have made a citizen's arrest if your SIL had attempted to buy drugs from him. I would report this behavior to the police to teach him a lesson about treating people of different races differently. Nothing will happen, the police will make a small call of the man, he won't be arrested, but he will get the picture before he does something like that again. :iagree:I also thought the man was trying to set him up. I would report it to the police. The report may protect your SIL and teach the jerk to mind his own business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I would report the jerk to the police. Most likely nothing will come of it, but people like this( and I think the number of xenophobes is growing greatly) need to be publicly acknowledged as dangerous idiots. :iagree: And in case drama develops and this gains momentum into something ugly, you have a proactively set paper trail of truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 It sounds like a 'set up' attempt to me too. It's funny how many perfectly nice people are closet racists -- if they are of our own race, we never expereince it, and can hardly believe it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I would report the jerk to the police. Most likely nothing will come of it, but people like this( and I think the number of xenophobes is growing greatly) need to be publicly acknowledged as dangerous idiots. :iagree: The potential for harm is immense where there are any immigration or visa issues, and if there is any whiff of suggested crime, those issues will haunt your sil for life. This is NOT something to be either nice or quiet about. Report it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Set up was the first thing I thought of too. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I'd send my dh to take care of it in which ever way he saw fit. I would suggest that he not bring up the drug issue until the end, when I would politely (:glare:) suggest that if he brought up drugs again to my SIL I would call the police on him for dealing drugs. Unfortunately, I could believe that he brought up drugs just to see what your SIL said. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Agreeing that it was a set-up and should be reported to police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted September 14, 2012 Share Posted September 14, 2012 Yeah, it's a setup. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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