Christian discipling of children/teens

[Bilby]

After reading the Youth Group thread, I have to wonder what discipling 'looks' like in the families who try to follow this. If I peeked into your house, what would I be seeing? I ask as a single mother (father walked out when my boys were babies, they are now 12&13) living in the slum quarter of a small town. We have church (in another town) on Sunday, small group meeting once a month (also Sunday), and the boys go to Youth Group once a week during school terms. The Youth Group alternates bible study and games. I really would like to provide a faith-filled home, but it just seems like we are living in isolation, directionless, floating along. Has anyone got any advice, insights, thoughts?

 

Before anything else, I would like to thank anyone who does respond. I am in Australia, and may not get to read any responses until evening our time.

[Chris in VA]

Just a little--

Let them see you reading your Bible and let your speech be graciously sprinkled with your faith. Much discipling is done by example.

[BMW]

I try to think through logical consequences... but I heard about finding out what matters to the child and using that. For example, I 13yog and 15yob (in the mix of other kids and ages) and they have cell phones and they have friends who they visit from time to time. If either of these children were to give me grief (talking rudely, letting grades/school slip, etc.) they would lose cell phone priviledges/computer time or visits with friends. One particular child of mine really likes to earn money to save up for things, so with that one when there is a serious attitude, I charge her money for it! She does not want to lose money, so she keeps a check on the way she talks to family members.

 

I give an allowance and charge the children for leaving shoes around the house/clothes in the bathroom/not completing a chore, etc.

 

Sometimes, if I am not taking time to think it through and talk them through it (busy, too tired at the moment), I assign sentence writing... there's one boy who always wants to keep talking at bedtime, so sometimes he gets to wake up in the morning and write, "I will be quiet at bedtime." about 50 times...:001_huh: but he is a bit younger than your children!

Bee

***Ooops, I thought you wrote discipline, not disciple! Sorry, this just doesn't go here!***

[Peek a Boo]

for us, it looks like the Deuteronomy passage: teach about God when you wake, work, eat, sit down, etc. Everything revolves around God: I'll share something down below that Tracy in KY shared a while back that really stuck with me.

 

bookwise, we start w/ simple Bible stories and Christian Mother goose, progressing to What the Bible is All About for Young Explorers, Catechism studies, Old Testament, New Testament, Purpose Driven Life, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, CLP workbooks, 365 Life Lessons from Bible People, a couple of good Study Bibles of different translations, and various other topics that spur their interests.

 

discussion wise, they hear/see us discussing and debating key points of scripture: doctrine, faith, legalism, etc. This works easily in my home w/ my spouse and I, but you can do something similar w/ friends, pastor, and online.

 

school wise, they memorize passages, copy scripture, read daily, do word studies, learn to study and cross reference, understand the literary, poetic, historic, and other contexts of scripture. They study the history OF the Bible and its figures in light of current knowledge of archeology.

 

some free things for discipling are biblegateway.com and characterjournal.com --just pick a character issue and study it. look for practical daily applications.

 

and here's Tracy's bit of wisdom :)

 

===========

Posted by Tracy in Ky on 6:08 Apr 7

My goal in homeschooling, as tedious as homeschooling can sometimes be, is the glory of God as I fulfill the role He has given me. So in a fascinating way, the goal/point/end of the universe is the same goal/point/end of my life--to glorify God. I glorify Him by doing what He has put me here to do.

 

My aim is that my children spend eternity in heaven with Christ, glorifying Him forever. So I strive to do everything I can to help them see Him more clearly and love Him more passionately. This is very glorifying to God: He is glorified and shown to be magnificant as we make Him the center of all we do. He is worthy of being the center of all we do.

 

So everything I do--whether it is grammar or phonics or logic or cooking or sweeping or holding my tounge--has a weight to it: the weight of eternity-- the weight of the glory of God. That helps propel me forward and gives significance to every single thing I do. And that makes me very happy deep within. I am blessed in that doing what God has given me to do *does* make me happy. Even on the bad days and hard days, the significance of what I am doing is big enough and outside of me enough to keep me from despair or throwing my hands up: sorrowful yet always rejoicing maybe?

 

Well that is my response. That was a great question to ask, and an important one to think through. For what it is worth, I am pasting onto the bottom of this reply a thing I wrote which fleshes out why I homeschool. It is basically what I said above, but with more detail. It is my heart, it is what motivates me to keep going, and it shows my joy in what I do. It is a little long so skip it if you want.

 

Blessings,

Tracy in Ky

 

************

 

I am training my children in the way they should go. I am teaching them when I rise up and when I lay down and when I walk. I am teaching them that everything they do must be honorable to God and to His glory. I am training them to think biblically and to memorize scripture and to analyze culture in the light of scripture. I am teaching them that they must prefer God, and that taking the gospel to the nations is glorifying to God. I am teaching them that the glory of God is the point of the universe.

 

I teach them that they must master grammar because language is the medium through which God gave us His word. If they are to correctly understand the Word of God, they must understand grammar. The Word of God is comprised of words and phrases and clauses and nouns and verbs and indirect objects and past tense verbs and present tense verbs and modifiers. They must master this so that they know what God has said. Further, in order to take the gospel to others we must be able to articulate it in the language we are speaking. Grammar exists for God.

 

I teach them that they must become good spellers so that they can communicate the gospel clearly when writing. Spelling exists for God.

 

I teach them Greek so that they can read God's word in the language He communicated it so that they do not have to rely on other people to tell them what it says. I want them to read it for themselves in the original language, understanding all the subtle and not-so-subtle nuances in syntax and grammar and word meaning and logic so that they know what it says for themselves, because they have seen it for themselves in the language given by God. Therefore they can worship over God s Word and communicate clearly and with confidence to others what God has said. Greek exists for God.

 

 

I teach them history as God's working out of his plan in the universe, to His glory and for His purposes, thereby teaching them about their awesome God who frustrates the plans of the nations and sets up kings and deposes kings and wages war and determines history. My children are being taught that God rules sovereignly over history that nothing in history happens apart from the sovereign rule and purpose of God. As they see their God more clearly, they love Him more dearly and become jealous to see His name proclaimed among the nations. History exists for God.

 

I teach them logic as God's design for correct thinking and reasoning, so they can think clearly and reason well. If they are trained in correct thinking and reasoning then they can see better the beauty of the mind of their God as it is revealed in scripture. And then, as they take the gospel to others, they will not be misled by false doctrine. They will see through the humanistic mechanisms of our culture. They will understand better how to explain the truth of God in the face of the depraved and distorted thinking that so characterizes the world we live in. By teaching them logic, I am teaching them to protect themselves AND to better reason with those who are deceived. Logic exists for the glory of God.

 

 

I teach them science and math so that they can see the hand of God in the order and precision by which He has created the universe. The heavens proclaim the glory of God, but it is so easily suppressed. Naturalistic thinking pervades even the Christian church and God is ignored. By teaching science and math as a glorious picture of the stunning capability of the mind of God, His glory stands forth to my children. We rejoice over our God, and they are thereby more bold in proclaiming his name to their friends and family. This is glorifying to God. Science and Math cannot be correctly understood apart from their relationship to God. Science and math exist for God.

 

I teach them Bible. We read the Bible, we ask questions of the Bible, we memorize Bible, we write about Bible--outlining, dictation, etc., we read commentaries and look at maps and check atlases of Bible lands and compare scripture with scripture and interpret our lessons through the Bible. We learn about missionaries and other countries and understand why we need to take the gospel to the nations. We apply Bible to our own culture and try to understand our culture in the light of scripture. The Bible is the backbone of what we do. Children who are biblically saturated are salt and light. Bible exists for the glory of God.

 

I teach them literature--lots of different stories, biographies, missionary stories, fantasies, etc. Much of this is secular in nature. Why is this important? Because they need to be able to filter everything through the lens of scripture. We take the books that don't mention God, and point out God's absence in the book. This is so crucial God is absent in our culture. This is one of the major sins of

Romans 1--they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer. He is simply pushed aside from virtually all television, radio, movies, books, cartoons, children's books, our schools, the work place--He is absent. And this is horrifying and God-belittling and is the epitome of sin. But most people hardly realize it. I want my children to see it and thereby be inoculated against it. I want them to acknowledge God. So, we look at God's absence and talk about it, and we bring God into it. Take Pippi Longstocking--God is absent in Pippi-Longstocking. I do not want my daughter thinking that it is ever okay to conceive of God being absent anywhere, so we bring scriptural truths to bear on stories about Pippi-Longstocking, for example. Literature exists for God.

 

The Bible tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus. We are to look at what is not seen. I want to train my children to look at Jesus--all the time. I want to train them to see God, to be passionate for His glory, and to permeate their lives with Christ and His truths. Children who prefer God are salt and light. Children who prefer God are beacons testifying to His glory. So that is what I am doing to cause my children to be salt and light to a dark world. I want them to be articulate, God-centered, Bible-saturated, Christ-minded, Spirit-led, highly-educated people who are willing to go to the hardest places on earth and lay down their lives for the nations who have not heard. I want them to treasure Christ more than they treasure their own lives, and in doing so bring glory to God as the world looks on and considers Jesus as valuable because they see my children preferring Him over life itself.

 

And I am pouring out my life to that end--in raising and training the children that God has entrusted to me, for His glory. I will answer to Him for my stewardship of the children He has given me. More than anything I want Him to say, Well done.===========

 

THANK YOU Tracy :)

[Chris in VA]

That is beautiful, Peek. I'm going to put that on my blog, if you don't mind.

And I think I'll print it out and read it over every day for a while.

Whew.

Wow.

[Peek a Boo]

That is beautiful, Peek. I'm going to put that on my blog, if you don't mind.

And I think I'll print it out and read it over every day for a while.

Whew.

Wow.

 

isn't that fantastic???!!!

 

just give Tracy the credit ;)

[Jean in Newcastle]

We have a wonderful couple in our church. They do not have children of their own but they have a wonderful heart for children. They are available to talk to kids about anything, they often take teenagers to help them on jobs (they are contractors) or to go fishing. Many (but not all) of the children and teens come from single-family homes, some from Christian homes, some not, some of the kids are immigrants and have had a hard time in our country. They talk about the Lord all the time - but while they are playing ping-pong or helping a boy fix his bike. The teens see them living their faith as well as talking about it. BTW- they are very transparent about what they do with these kids (keeping the door unlocked and open if they go inside at all etc.) to keep from there being any accusations of impropriety.

[WTMCassandra]

Wow. That's amazing. Thanks for sharing.

[GSMP]

That was beautiful........

 

I ask myself if there is something in my life that could be a spiritual hindrance in their lives and then I try to deal with what I am shown.

 

Living a hypocritical life is the best way as a Christian parent to loose ones children to the world. They do not see what we are supposed to exemplify.

 

I also encourage my children to be students of the Word. Know what they believe and why they believe it....can they back it up.

 

Let them see you doing devotions. Share something that was shown to you and share how this has affected a change whether it be physical or spiritual.

 

Encourage them to share with you the same......

 

Model what you believe.....do not be the spiritual hindrance to them that we can sometimes be in our hypocritical behavior.

 

Walk the walk........:grouphug: to you.

[Lizzie in Ma]

isn't that fantastic???!!!

 

just give Tracy the credit ;)

 

I read it often. Thanks Tracy and thanks Peek for 'reissuing" it. :)

[MyThreeSons]

We live several miles from town, so when we go anywhere, we have time to talk. We talk about family "stuff", what's going on with friends from church, co-op or soccer, local and world events, what we've seen on TV, the Pastor's message, etc. As often as is possible without forcing it, I bring the conversation back to "What does the Bible say about that?" or "How should we respond as a Christian?"

 

There are lots of small churches around here that have signs out front where they often post cute sayings. One of our favorite things to do as we drive is to discuss the signs in light of Scripture. Years ago, for example, one of my younger sons heard me read aloud "Spring is God's way of showing He loves us". Before I could say anything about it, he piped up, "I thought that's why He sent Jesus!".