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A naive question: Just because you're not on Facebook, ...


mirth
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... does that mean no one ever talks about you on Facebook?

 

I have no idea if my friends and family talk trash about me all the time online, but I doubt it. I suspect that I am sort of "off-grid" and a non-entity in most people's lives unless I happen to in front of them (like at park day or visiting their house) or on the phone with them. Do FB people regularly comment about those you know to be in their circle but not on FB?

 

Am I naive or mostly accurate?

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I guess it depends if most of your friends have graduated from 7th grade. :lol:

 

I've never seen an adult trash-talk another adult on Facebook. That seems like an extremely nasty and dumb thing to do. I'm sure it happens, but there are plenty of nasty and dumb people in the world and if they didn't have Facebook they'd just find another way to be nasty and dumb.

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You probably are not being brought up. The comment made public are usually about what is going on in their lives. Anyone posting about someone elses life is irritating. It isn't a gossip network. It is a "Hey, I just had a baby. Here are the pics" kind of thing. You are good, don't worry about it :)

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I'm not on Facebook, but most of my siblings are. I know they talk about me. They tell me they talk about me, and some will email me and ask me to confirm/deny/explain what other siblings have said or attributed to me :)

 

I know that my kids'-moms-friends at least mention me because I overhear it at kids' activities (sports, scouts, etc.) or people come up to me and say, "Hey! Saw you and X were at YYY yesterday" when people use the check-in feature or whatever that is.

 

Come to think about it, I've also had colleagues come up to me and mention they heard I was working with X because of X's Facebook post naming our crew or layover.

 

I don't know if you're naive. Maybe it depends on the personality of the social circle? Mine is comprised of nosy busybodies who are obsessed with FB and sharing every minute detail of their social lives. So it stands to reason that as frequent IRL contingent within that (and the only one not on Facebook), they're talking about me (trash or otherwise).

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Funny story - a friend was out to lunch the other day and on the sidewalk was a man shouting that he needed to see someone's phone because he KNEW people were talking about him on FB, but he didn't even HAVE a FB, so could someone PLEASE give him their phone so he could see what people were saying about him. Police ended up removing him from the area.

 

She posted about that as a status, and I replied with something like "See? he's not paranoid. People ARE talking about him on FB!"

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I guess it depends if most of your friends have graduated from 7th grade. :lol:

 

I've never seen an adult trash-talk another adult on Facebook. That seems like an extremely nasty and dumb thing to do. I'm sure it happens, but there are plenty of nasty and dumb people in the world and if they didn't have Facebook they'd just find another way to be nasty and dumb.

 

:iagree:

 

On FB, when I talk about friends who are not on FB, it's never mean. I've reconnected with a lot of high school and college friends and we regularly say things like, "Did you keep up with xxx?" and the other replies, "yes, (s)he is married/divorced/passed away in Such-and-such-place." The first says, "Please tell him/her I said, 'hello.' We used to have so much fun!" Or, the second says, "No," and the first responds, "I wonder whatever happened to him/her."

 

Once in a while I'll get a private message from someone requesting prayer for a mutual friend we've mentioned before who is dealing with a disease or loss.

 

The p-posters are right. People mostly talk about themselves.

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Do you know, I think I'm even more naive, I've never really imagined anyone talking about me at all, I'm just not that interesting :lol:.

 

Liar :D

 

I just spent the past fifteen minutes looking at your blog (after reading another thread) and thinking you're definitely way interesting.

 

Then I talked about you with my kids. They want a Daisy, they want to move to where they can trips to Scotland, and they want to know why I don't let them blow soda pop bottles in the backyard in the name of science.

 

Basially they want to move to where you are and attend your homeschool LOL. I can have them there by (your) dinner tomorrow :lol: I live with four boys, and loved looking at your pictures -- you're definitely interesting. In a low-key, genuine way and not the over-the-top-is-this-fer-real way like some others are ;).

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Do you know, I think I'm even more naive, I've never really imagined anyone talking about me at all, I'm just not that interesting :lol:.

 

When I was a young teen, (I think) my Mom told me, "Don't worry no one talks about you behind your back, you just aren't that interesting." :001_huh:

 

So I guess it depends on how interesting you are.

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It never stopped my sil. She said things about myself, dh, my dad, and my mom that were downright slanderous lies. We found out about it from other people on facebook and then contacted facebook and told them they could make her take the comments down or they could be named in the civil suit.

 

She was forced to remove the comments. The stuff was so bad that they told her if she ever trash talked anyone at that level again, they would delete her account. (I think the, "I wish they were all dead and I'd be happy to help make that happen," comment probably pushed the facebook administrators over the edge.)

 

At any rate, I'm sure she still trash talks us to some extent. But, we vowed we would never have a facebook account so we aren't inadvertently drawn into more drama.

 

I think there is a tremendous amount of slander, some which is probably actionable, on facebook and not having an account is neither here nor there to the types of personalities who will post that stuff.

 

Faith

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Funny story - a friend was out to lunch the other day and on the sidewalk was a man shouting that he needed to see someone's phone because he KNEW people were talking about him on FB, but he didn't even HAVE a FB, so could someone PLEASE give him their phone so he could see what people were saying about him. Police ended up removing him from the area.

 

She posted about that as a status, and I replied with something like "See? he's not paranoid. People ARE talking about him on FB!"

 

:lol:Hey! Just because he's paranoid doesn't mean no one is out to get him!:tongue_smilie:

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You probably are not being brought up. The comment made public are usually about what is going on in their lives. Anyone posting about someone elses life is irritating. It isn't a gossip network. It is a "Hey, I just had a baby. Here are the pics" kind of thing. You are good, don't worry about it :)

 

:iagree: We do not talk about others on FB among my friends, and I think for the most part that is how it is.

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I guess it depends if most of your friends have graduated from 7th grade. :lol:

 

I've never seen an adult trash-talk another adult on Facebook. That seems like an extremely nasty and dumb thing to do. I'm sure it happens, but there are plenty of nasty and dumb people in the world and if they didn't have Facebook they'd just find another way to be nasty and dumb.

 

:iagree:

I haven't seen that sort of thing on FB.

Teenagers? Yes. Adults? No.

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I guess it depends if most of your friends have graduated from 7th grade. :lol:

 

I've never seen an adult trash-talk another adult on Facebook. That seems like an extremely nasty and dumb thing to do. I'm sure it happens, but there are plenty of nasty and dumb people in the world and if they didn't have Facebook they'd just find another way to be nasty and dumb.

 

I must know/be friends with all the wrong kind of people because I've had adults trash talk me on their very public walls (I was able to read it all). I let it go for awhile, but I finally got to my breaking point and "reported" them to this forum we all belong to (the board rules say you can't talk about what you learn on the board on a public forum) and they were taking what I was saying about homeschooling my DD and saying some nasty things about it. After that I'm sure they just went private to discuss me because I never saw anything on their walls again. :lol:

 

I also know people who have created secret groups on FB just so they can talk about other people. They've told me this. Seriously. :glare:

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I suppose it varies by friendship groups but if I had to sum up my newsfeed from friends it basically goes like this:

 

 

 

  • sharing pictures of dinner, kids, garden, knitting projects, etc.
  • little things from life - traffic, weather, ha ha my kids said something funny
  • informational questions - can anyone suggest a good plumber
  • cute dog needs to be adopted
  • Internet silliness - ha ha here's a video of a cat in a box
  • happy inspirational stuff like quotes
  • political posts

 

In other words, nobody is talking about anybody. I suppose they could be doing so by messages, but that could be done by email, phone, etc. as well.

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I guess it depends if most of your friends have graduated from 7th grade. :lol:

 

I've never seen an adult trash-talk another adult on Facebook. That seems like an extremely nasty and dumb thing to do. I'm sure it happens, but there are plenty of nasty and dumb people in the world and if they didn't have Facebook they'd just find another way to be nasty and dumb.

 

:iagree:. I mean I sometimes mention friends that aren't on facebook, but that is more of a Did an awesome fun thing with friend x today, we had lots of fun.

 

I don't really see any other reason to mention someone who isn't on facebook. Of course I never trash talk my friends that are on facebook either. Really if they are trash talking people they aren't my friends anyways, and I don't really care about their opinion.

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I suppose it varies by friendship groups but if I had to sum up my newsfeed from friends it basically goes like this:

 

 

  • sharing pictures of dinner, kids, garden, knitting projects, etc.
  • little things from life - traffic, weather, ha ha my kids said something funny
  • informational questions - can anyone suggest a good plumber
  • cute dog needs to be adopted
  • Internet silliness - ha ha here's a video of a cat in a box
  • happy inspirational stuff like quotes
  • political posts

In other words, nobody is talking about anybody. I suppose they could be doing so by messages, but that could be done by email, phone, etc. as well.

 

:iagree: This is what happens in my FB world, too. Anyone who began talking the sort of slander or nastiness you're discussing would be de-friended by me, and I'm sure, by most if not all of my friends.

 

Anne

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