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When I met my dh, I had close to waistlength hair. It was pretty. I was 15. He loved it long and still does.

 

However, I am 33. He still loves my hair long. But since I'm starting to get a little gray, I am starting to feel like an aging hippie. Plus the texture has changed. I do know women who pull off long hair in their 40's and 50's and older, but I am not one of them. Plus, now that I am getting older, I need to pay more attention to style and fashion to look decent.

 

I don't want to cut my hair short short, but he likes it as long as possible, while I prefer slightly below shoulder length.

 

In our marriage, I *could* cut my hair any way that I please. but I still want him to think I am attractive and like the way that I look.

 

Could someone please explain to my guy that long grayish hair can be aging to some women? Anyone else figured this one out?

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He'll still think you're attractive, no matter what you do to your hair (within limits!).

 

When I met my DH I used to tie my hair back in a ponytail, but once he commented that he preferred my hair loose I could never feel quite right about tying back again. Until now. Now I'm 48, I never have time to have my hair cut, my face is thinner and I'm feeling old, tying it back feels the right thing to do for me. He seems to find me more attractive now than ever, even with it tied back, even with a tired old face. Love's like that. Also, his eyesight's not what it was :lol:.

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Honestly, I think men lack imagination in this area. He just can't *picture* you with shorter hair. I bet if you got a stylish cut that made you look nice and feel good, he would love it!

 

:iagree: My dh also claims to like long hair. But, I've tried to grow my hair out a few times, but it doesn't look right on me. In fact, I was just trying again to grow my hair out, but it looked so ridiculous, that I went and got it cut again, and dh said he liked it better. Go figure!

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Honestly, I think men lack imagination in this area. He just can't *picture* you with shorter hair. I bet if you got a stylish cut that made you look nice and feel good, he would love it!

I have had a cut that I liked. He came home and said..."what happened!!!???" I haven't had it cut since that time. I'm leaving it longer at least till our anniversary (Thursday)

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I cut mine gradually shorter. I had very long hair when we got married and my dh loved it that way, but I just couldn't keep up with it and after having kids it didn't look or feel the same anymore. I didn't want to put the poor man into shock though, so I've trimmed it slowly shorter until now I'm about shoulder length and it looks healthy again. He likes it just fine although he does still tell me that he really liked my hair when we got married, but having that hair is obviously not possible, I'm not the same girl I was back then.

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That's funny, we're the opposite. I've always had hair that was waist-length or longer but I cut it "short" (it'd still be medium-long to most people but for people like me and you it was SHORT!) once during a pregnancy fit and my husband LOVED it. He's always saying he misses me with short hair. I had a haircut gone awry a year or so back where I tried to cut off about 12" to my bra-strap (as a nod to him) and walked out with hair at my shoulders! I was devestated! My husband was thrilled! LOL

 

Can you think about it as a transition time? It's a weird time for women and hair. Hormones wreck havoc on the hair, the gray growth is awkward, ... it's important for you to feel beautiful, this of ALL times in your life! Explain to him that during this transition time you need to work on making the transition less awkward; once you're through it, you can go back to finding a length and style you can work with. Seriously, I totally get the texture change thing - it's awful!

 

It's like growing out bangs or a perm (or maybe even a beard, if he can relate to that). You have to "make do for now" while your hair figures itself out; once the hair settles down into a new albeit different habit, you're better able to learn how to work with what you've (now) got.

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The bottom line is that he will find you attractive in almost any cut. He just might not like it as well as long hair. Sometimes the only thing really holding us back from this kind of change is *our* worry.

 

My husband likes really long hair too. When we started dating mine was @ bra length and very natural (one length, no color, not much styling). At one point during our marriage I grew it out to waist at his request. He likes it between those two lengths. BUT he also finds me attractive at shoulder length and will put up with chin length because he likes my face. ;)

 

I made the shortest cut I've ever done 6 months ago, and when I got the cut it was very severe. I didn't even like it. But a good dh will like you at any hair length.

 

BTW, I don't really believe that long hair looks bad on people as they age. There are a ton of styles for long hair, much more than you can do with short hair, but sometimes you just need something different. You need an adventure. Adventures teach you about who you are. :001_smile:

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My hair was long like yours.

 

Wolf adored it. The idea of me cutting it sent him into a fit.

 

Then...it all fell out, thanks to RSD. I mean, could see my scalp kinda fell out.

 

It's growing back in, but def nowhere near as long as it was.

 

Wolf still chases me around. Heck, we found out Boo was on his way after my hair fell out ;)

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Honestly, I think men lack imagination in this area. He just can't *picture* you with shorter hair. I bet if you got a stylish cut that made you look nice and feel good, he would love it!

 

That's not the case with my dh. I usually have waist length hair, however I donate it every three or four years. One of those times I cut it so short that it didn't even go into a ponytail. Dh really disliked the short hair. I don't think he needs to have it waist length, but definitely longer than shoulder length.

 

The funny thing is that he will never say how he likes it styled best - he really doesn't show a preference for up or down or anything in between. I tend to wear my hair in a bun most of the time so theoretically it shouldn't really matter how long my hair is since it's always up.

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When I met my dh, I had close to waistlength hair. It was pretty. I was 15. He loved it long and still does.

 

However, I am 33. He still loves my hair long. But since I'm starting to get a little gray, I am starting to feel like an aging hippie. Plus the texture has changed. I do know women who pull off long hair in their 40's and 50's and older, but I am not one of them. Plus, now that I am getting older, I need to pay more attention to style and fashion to look decent.

 

I don't want to cut my hair short short, but he likes it as long as possible, while I prefer slightly below shoulder length.

 

In our marriage, I *could* cut my hair any way that I please. but I still want him to think I am attractive and like the way that I look.

 

Could someone please explain to my guy that long grayish hair can be aging to some women? Anyone else figured this one out?

 

My dh loves my hair long, loves the natural color (which is not yet turning grey, ptl) and is fine if I just go naturally grey.

I do highlights and got a good hair-cut. I have heavy, curly hair so if it's all one length a) it's hot b) it's heavy c) I look old and worn out d) I hate it.

I love the layers and the highlights- it's a compromise.

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My hair was long like yours.

 

Wolf adored it. The idea of me cutting it sent him into a fit.

 

Then...it all fell out, thanks to RSD. I mean, could see my scalp kinda fell out.

 

It's growing back in, but def nowhere near as long as it was.

 

Wolf still chases me around. Heck, we found out Boo was on his way after my hair fell out ;)

:lol::lol::lol:

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I'm shortening mine in stages. So far I have just chopped off about 6 inches (maybe even more). So it's still long. I still plan to cut it shorter. I'm also considering bangs. Baby steps. I've had long hairs since forever. It would be too traumatic for me to chop it all at once.

 

Don't know if that idea helps you. I'm 38 btw. I don't have much gray hair. The texture hasn't changed. But I'm just kinda sick of dealing with mega long hair.

 

I go back and forth on the bangs. I look better with bangs, but they annoy me.

 

I have never had long hair. DH used to think he liked me in long hair, but I would b*tch about it all the time when it was longer because it just doesn't suit me.

 

I prefer somewhere between short and pixie but I hate having my hair cut.

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Do you feel like you need to "convince" him you will still look fabulous? :D

 

I think there are some websites where you can plug in a picture of yourself and then "try" different hairstyles on your photo. Maybe he would be more on board if he could help you choose a new style?

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My husband would like me to go super short, just below my ears type short.

 

I KNOW I won't look good like that! I have a very round face (some because of the shape and some because I am overweight) and there is just no way.

 

Plus I have naturally wavy hair and I know short will require more work. If it is just at my shoulders or a bit below my shoulders, I know I am wash and go.

 

I am not an "extras" person. I hate little details. I will NOT spend the time needed each day in front of the mirror to make it look decent. I just won't.

 

Dawn

 

I'm growing out my pixie for a change. DH prefers it super short. I go from short to a bob to longer and back again all of the time, but he prefers short.
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When I met my dh, I had close to waistlength hair. It was pretty. I was 15. He loved it long and still does.

 

However, I am 33. He still loves my hair long. But since I'm starting to get a little gray, I am starting to feel like an aging hippie. Plus the texture has changed. I do know women who pull off long hair in their 40's and 50's and older, but I am not one of them. Plus, now that I am getting older, I need to pay more attention to style and fashion to look decent.

 

I don't want to cut my hair short short, but he likes it as long as possible, while I prefer slightly below shoulder length.

 

In our marriage, I *could* cut my hair any way that I please. but I still want him to think I am attractive and like the way that I look.

 

Could someone please explain to my guy that long grayish hair can be aging to some women? Anyone else figured this one out?

 

Your texture changed too? Some days I use a curling gel and make it look like I wanted it that way on purpose.

 

You should style it how you feel comfy. If you are happy with your hair (and self in general) then that will make you attractive to your hubby.

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fwiw.. sometimes "I like it long" actually means, "I like it loose & hanging down around your face." My husband wanted it long, but never seemed happy with choice of arrangement when it was long. I wanted to try a new style, and after I got it cut, he loved it, because before then I was always pulling it back or pinning it up, and after I got it cut with layers, it was too short to do that, so it was always down, framing my face.

 

 

I say go for it! Or try a layer cut with bangs. :D

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fwiw.. sometimes "I like it long" actually means, "I like it loose & hanging down around your face."

 

then he will just have to hate my hair. I refuse to milk a cow and chase chickens with my hair hanging around my face. And since that is so much a part of my life that 's just the way it's going to be. :)

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When I met my dh, I had close to waistlength hair. It was pretty. I was 15. He loved it long and still does.

 

However, I am 33. He still loves my hair long. But since I'm starting to get a little gray, I am starting to feel like an aging hippie. Plus the texture has changed. I do know women who pull off long hair in their 40's and 50's and older, but I am not one of them. Plus, now that I am getting older, I need to pay more attention to style and fashion to look decent.

 

I don't want to cut my hair short short, but he likes it as long as possible, while I prefer slightly below shoulder length.

 

In our marriage, I *could* cut my hair any way that I please. but I still want him to think I am attractive and like the way that I look.

 

Could someone please explain to my guy that long grayish hair can be

aging to some women? Anyone else figured this one out?

 

Yes, grayish hair can be aging, especially with the aging face!

 

But you are 33! You can carry this off, if you want to for probably another 10 years. Trust me, the day comes when you really have to cut the hair or you look like you belong on Jerry Springer with a cigarette hanging out your mouth. The face just won't carry it in the late 40's for most people.

 

 

Anyway, you are so young. Enjoy it if you want! You will have shorter hair the last half of your life. You can always cover the gray.

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But you are 33! You can carry this off, if you want to for probably another 10 years. Trust me, the day comes when you really have to cut the hair or you look like you belong on Jerry Springer with a cigarette hanging out your mouth. The face just won't carry it in the late 40's for most people.

 

.

this made me LOL!!!

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My dh gets pouty every time I cut my hair...but he gets over it.

 

The first time I cut it short was the worst. I had hair I could sit on when we got married. When I was pregnant with dd15 I chopped it off. And I mean SHORT. He walked in from work and kind of wilted when he saw it. He just said "What did you do?!!" But, like I said, he got over it. (And looking back...that was the WORST haircut I've ever had. I can see why he was shocked.)

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I have had a cut that I liked. He came home and said..."what happened!!!???" I haven't had it cut since that time. I'm leaving it longer at least till our anniversary (Thursday)

 

When I met dh I had hair down to the middle of my back, a bit past my bra strap. The first time I cut it short (about chin length) he totally freaked. I met him at a restaurant after my hair cut, and his mouth literally fell open and he said "WHAT have you DONE?" in this voice like I had just shot his dog or something. :glare: He adjusted, and married me anyway. :tongue_smilie:

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Ok if you really want to do something about it, cut a few inches off the ends and then have long layers cut in and layers to frame your face. Ask to have the shortest layers around your face to be long enough that you can still put it in a ponytail. It's not a drastic change so it shouldn't be shocking for either of it. It would just be a subtle change that would look a little more updated and stylish. This is what my eldest dd did with her hair (which is really long) and it looks really good. As far as the grey, it really depends on what you want to do. My dd has black hair and plenty of silver strands. She is just leaving them alone for now. I personally don't plan on covering my grey once it comes in. I have lighter brown hair and I think the grey will just blend in.

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Just ignore me b/c I'm cranky. But, sometimes I get tired of how much thought and effort goes into looking good. And, yet, here I sit with toe nails painted, makeup on, long hair that gets tangled so I fight combing through it every morning, makeup is on, cute earrings on.

 

I cannot imagine what it would be like to take a 3-minute shower and throw on tan shorts and a t-shirt.

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When I met dh I had hair down to the middle of my back, a bit past my bra strap. The first time I cut it short (about chin length) he totally freaked. I met him at a restaurant after my hair cut, and his mouth literally fell open and he said "WHAT have you DONE?" in this voice like I had just shot his dog or something. :glare: He adjusted, and married me anyway. :tongue_smilie:

 

This is so funny. My husband probably wouldn't notice if I wore a neon green wig or shaved my head. He would say, "Hmmm..something looks ....different." He's just not observant.

 

This works well for me. Yes, when I look fabulous, I'm on my own to tell myself that. But when I look awful or have gained weight or have just come out of the hospital....he loves me then and thinks I look fine then also.

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Just ignore me b/c I'm cranky. But, sometimes I get tired of how much thought and effort goes into looking good. And, yet, here I sit with toe nails painted, makeup on, long hair that gets tangled so I fight combing through it every morning, makeup is on, cute earrings on.

 

I cannot imagine what it would be like to take a 3-minute shower and throw on tan shorts and a t-shirt.

 

 

Just wait 20 years, my dear. :lol:

 

Kidding. Sort of. I'm definitely low maintenance. Amazingly, since I applied careful makeup for so many years, I can now do it at warp speed if I have to.

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I had 16" of my hair cut off about 2 weeks ago and I LOVE it. I've almost always had really long hair (waist length when we got married), but it was crazy to tame and I finally realized I was always wearing it in either a pony tail or hair clip, so what was the point in keeping it long? I chopped off and I'm so glad I did. I'll be 40 in March and it makes me look so much younger. Bonus.

 

James Bond loves me however he can get me. :D

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Just wait 20 years, my dear. :lol:

 

Kidding. Sort of. I'm definitely low maintenance. Amazingly, since I applied careful makeup for so many years, I can now do it at warp speed if I have to.

 

Oh yeah, I'm super fast too. But if I ever hear the "If a barn needs painting" again, I think I might go homicidal.

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My DH's definition of 'long' isn't the same as mine.

When I think 'long hair' I think LONG hair - bra strap or longer.

When he says 'long hair' he means shoulders or below.

And he HATES short hair. He doesn't like my current haircut (but neither do I). He still thinks I look great (such a good DH) but he just likes longer hair better. )

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When I met dh I had hair down to the middle of my back, a bit past my bra strap. The first time I cut it short (about chin length) he totally freaked. I met him at a restaurant after my hair cut, and his mouth literally fell open and he said "WHAT have you DONE?" in this voice like I had just shot his dog or something. :glare: He adjusted, and married me anyway. :tongue_smilie:

 

:lol: That's what I did! Though it was after we were married about 10 years. Still, NOT the reaction I was going for. He dealt with it, and was all like, "You learn your lesson?" Because I DID mourn my hair. It's still growing out (with different styles along the way). :D (I went from waist length to a stacked shave.) ;)

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Just wait 20 years, my dear. :lol:

 

Kidding. Sort of. I'm definitely low maintenance. Amazingly, since I applied careful makeup for so many years, I can now do it at warp speed if I have to.

 

I've never worn much makeup, and at home, we're both slobs. We come from a tradition that as soon as you walk in the door, you go upstairs and get in comfortable clothes. I mean, not stained, holed, ragged, but sweats.

 

So yeah, I'm totally low maintenance. But I clean up nice!

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I think men always like us best the way we were when they met us or fell in love with us. In my case, I had REALLY short hair (think boy cut). DH will always like me best with short hair b/c of that, but with the way my head is shaped and the way my hair grows (it grows UP and to the side in the back of my head), it just doesn't look good on me, especially at my age. I'm no longer 19. LOL I have had my hair many different styles over the years, and now it is long and straight, about down to my elbows. He's told me, though, that he really doesn't care what length my hair is. ;)

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I've never worn much makeup, and at home, we're both slobs. We come from a tradition that as soon as you walk in the door, you go upstairs and get in comfortable clothes. I mean, not stained, holed, ragged, but sweats.

 

So yeah, I'm totally low maintenance. But I clean up nice!

 

LOL! That's exactly how we are! We look really nice when we are out, but the second we walk in the door DH says "Let's go get changed" and we are immediately into comfy clothes. Comfy to us is sweats and a tshirt.

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Are you willing to color your hair? I'm in kind of the same situation. DH prefers my hair long, too. He really doesn't like it when I've had it cut short (which is what I prefer). I also have tons of gray. I agree with you, long gray hair just doesn't look that appealing, at least on me. I've colored my hair for years now. Last year I tried going for a number of months without coloring, and frankly, it looked terrible. If I could have cut it short, it would have looked better. So, I'm back to coloring it. I do have layers though, which I like. My hair is not super long, just to my shoulder blades.

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This is so funny. My husband probably wouldn't notice if I wore a neon green wig or shaved my head. He would say, "Hmmm..something looks ....different." He's just not observant.

 

This works well for me. Yes, when I look fabulous, I'm on my own to tell myself that. But when I look awful or have gained weight or have just come out of the hospital....he loves me then and thinks I look fine then also.

 

Lol, this is how dh is now, almost 15 years later. At this point he is happy if I like my hair, because then he doesn't have to listen to me complain about it! :tongue_smilie: And for the record, I went back and forth between long and short for a few years, but it has been between just below my ears and just below my chin since I had ds8.

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