DawnM Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 We have a history with this family. I really think they are somewhat bully-ish and I am tired of their "we know everything and should decide what to do for YOU" attitude. They are in our social group to some extent (youth events) but not in our closer circle of friends that we hang out with. One of my sons has become closer to one of their kids. I really, really want next to nothing to do with this family. The father has some issues that would make it impossible for me to allow my son to be alone with the kid and his father only. So far no play dates have been requested, but they are starting to email more often and talk at the social events more exclusively. The child is also a know it all and has told ME what to do on a few occasions. I have told him that is not appropriate but he continues it. I don't care for him at all! How would you handle it? Thanks, Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 We had a similar situation with one of DS13's friends. I'm afraid I found the boy and his mother so unbearable that I rather 'froze' them out, that is, I did my utmost to avoid them and when that was impossible I was rather abrupt and moved on. I wasn't proud of myself for it, and did worry and felt bad. Interestingly, DS13 has since become very good friends with a boy who was also friendly with 'unbearable boy', and following a day out with this new friend and his family he recounted how his new friend's mother had been talking about the 'unbearables' and, he said, "Everything she said was exactly the same as you thought about them Mum!" Fortunately, the 'unbearables' are in the process of moving on (they seem to 'run away' from things a lot), so for us the issue is resolved. I guess if you spend a lot time in similar circles to this family it makes it so much more difficult, and certainly impossible to 'freeze them out' without causing a lot of trouble - it's not a strategy I would normally recommend. Maybe redirect your son towards other friends who are more straightforward? Always arrange to be busy if and when they suggest meeting up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted September 12, 2012 Author Share Posted September 12, 2012 And I do know others who dislike this family for the same reasons. We aren't the only ones who see their craziness. Dawn We had a similar situation with one of DS13's friends. I'm afraid I found the boy and his mother so unbearable that I rather 'froze' them out, that is, I did my utmost to avoid them and when that was impossible I was rather abrupt and moved on. I wasn't proud of myself for it, and did worry and felt bad. Interestingly, DS13 has since become very good friends with a boy who was also friendly with 'unbearable boy', and following a day out with this new friend and his family he recounted how his new friend's mother had been talking about the 'unbearables' and, he said, "Everything she said was exactly the same as you thought about them Mum!" Fortunately, the 'unbearables' are in the process of moving on (they seem to 'run away' from things a lot), so for us the issue is resolved. I guess if you spend a lot time in similar circles to this family it makes it so much more difficult, and certainly impossible to 'freeze them out' without causing a lot of trouble - it's not a strategy I would normally recommend. Maybe redirect your son towards other friends who are more straightforward? Always arrange to be busy if and when they suggest meeting up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 We've had repeated issues for years with a boy from play group. I thought we were done with it but the mom just joined our homeschool group and showed up at park day last week. Her kid told DS to throw sand at people and DS did it. I'm tired of it. I've told DS that he's not to play with the kid anymore. I'm tired of worrying about the mom's feelings. Not sure how it will go over though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I would curtail the email contact and limit contact to the time spent at homeschool group. If they ask for a play date just keep repeating that you don't have time, that won't work for you, etc. without being specific. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted September 12, 2012 Author Share Posted September 12, 2012 some of the emails have to do with the homeschool group as their child is now in charge of a few things. :glare::glare::glare: I want to post something specific here but I don't know who all is on this board so I will refrain. Let's just say the child has some crazy notions. Dawn I would curtail the email contact and limit contact to the time spent at homeschool group. If they ask for a play date just keep repeating that you don't have time, that won't work for you, etc. without being specific. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I make myself really busy with other things. Always pleasant, but conversations are quick. I also don't set up play dates with difficult people unless I am able to personally supervise and/or make it a group thing. There have been difficult people in my life and that of my children--if I choose to engage in that relationship, it is ALWAYS under my supervision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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