kfeusse Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 for a 12 year old girl? My daughter has such a hard time keeping her room clean (at least up to my standards) and I am wondering if my standards are too high. I expect that there be little to no clothing on the floor, the bed made, all of her craft items in her craft room (unless she is actually, physically working on a craft), books on a shelf, school desk tidy, drawers of her dresser pushed in. Is that too much? I can't get her to abide by that...she just doesn't seem to "get it". HELP!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I have an actual checklist that my DS uses to clean his room. It lists specific surfaces that need to be cleared off, etc. It even has a spot for him to check that his blankets aren't hanging out crookedly, that his quilt is pulled up, and that his pillows are in the right spot on the bed. I found that if I give him a very detailed checklist, he can do a good job without me having to check up on it and nag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC3 Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Bed made Clothes picked up and put away Tidy surfaces No toys/junk on the floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kfeusse Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 an actual checklist, that would be a great idea...how long is your checklist...I am nervous that mine would be too overwhelming. I am not an neat freak by any means...but I like to be able to walk across her room to her bed or window without stepping on stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I'd suggest you need to negotiate with her the definition of clean. My ds explained to me that his mess was somehow a reflection of his internal struggle for identity - it has been a few years since that discussion that I obviously was unprepared for. The point is to find a clear definition that makes you both happy. She may be clueless, or she may be making a statement on a deeper personal level. Once you have an agreement, a very detailed checklist will save a lot of future arguments. Clothes on hangers not hung over the bar, the be, the chair or any other piece of furniture. Clothes in the drawers and the drawers closed. Dirty clothes in the baskets. ..... I did long ago make a rule about no food or drink other than water in a water bottle (not in a glass, cup, or somebody else's water bottle) in bedrooms to avoid having to make rules about disposal of food and return of dishes and prevent bugs and moldy-icky-stinky surprises. I do also include a weekly or bi-weekly vacuum, sheet wash, and dusting requirement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 My 11yo dd has a "how to clean my room so mom doesn't make me do it again" chart in her room. Lol. It is extremely specific and unfortunately changes every so often because she'll be a smart butt and not do something not on the list. I try to condense things sometimes, too. So if she's been making her bed without referring to the list for a few weeks, i change it from 20,000 steps to simply "make bed." I would say your demands are not much, but make her a list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kfeusse Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 I will start working on this list....I have been known to make a "messy pile" in the middle of her room before, (she somehow misses the edges of her room) by moving all of those items to the middle of her room and then they get put away. But that process gets old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Your standards sound okay, but asking her to clean without any specifics may be overwhelming to her. If someone walked into your house and declared it to be a mess and demanded that you needed to clean it, would you be know where to start? Could you get it done before school? We have a check list for the basics (make bed, push in drawers, etc.), but I like to have my kids tell me which additional space they are going to focus on each morning. It may be their craft table, the floor or the closet, or the bookshelves. THEY are the ones to examine the room and choose the messiest spot to focus on. I don't expect 100% tidiness in every single corner of my house at every moment, so I try to give my kids the same freedom. Everything gets cleaned, but not necessarily all on the same day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 "Nothing on the floor but furniture" - a familiar saying around here. ;) In addition, bed made, drawers/closets such that they can be closed (how they keep their stuff behind closed doors after about the age of 12yo is up to them), surfaces clear of clutter (meaning wadded up paper/trash, etc.). We use a list up to a point after which our dc are expected to just get it done and done to completion; if they choose not to be complete in their work then the maid finishes the job...for a fee. Hey, I can't afford Starbucks so need some sort of income! And my labor doesn't come cheap! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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