Excelsior! Academy Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 A dear old friend of mine and I recently reconnected. We were best friends and neighbors growing up. I drove to see her in the spring. She took me to lunch and I have been trying to reciprocate. She emailed and wanted to know if she could come up on the 22nd. I checked our calendar and checked with dh. The day was free. I emailed her to see what she wanted to do for the day. Immediately after sending out the email I walked to the mailbox. In it was a baby shower invite for the same day. For dh's cousin, the son of dh's deceased uncle. The cousin is an only child and will likely only have one child. The rest of dh's cousins live far away and are not close to his age. Dh puts a high importance on family, especially his. What do I do? How can I handle this gracefully? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I would tell her what you just told the rest of us. Any reasonable person would understand. You just emailed that the date was ok; it's not like you're having to cancel on her the day before. Maybe come up with a few other dates that would work for you and offer those as alternatives? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I would tell her what you just told the rest of us. Any reasonable person would understand. You just emailed that the date was ok; it's not like you're having to cancel on her the day before. Maybe come up with a few other dates that would work for you and offer those as alternatives? Right. Just let her know immediately and reschedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I would tell her what you just told the rest of us. Any reasonable person would understand. You just emailed that the date was ok; it's not like you're having to cancel on her the day before. Maybe come up with a few other dates that would work for you and offer those as alternatives? I think that's exactly right. Family trumps close friends, even old long-lost ones. You just scheduled it. She doesn't have an unchangeable plane ticket, right? Profuse apologies and all that. Should be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Can you take her to the shower? Can you go to lunch then the shower? Can you go to the shower then lunch? Can you offer several other dates that you two can get together? Can you get together for something other than lunch or the shower? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Explain the situation and see if she wants to/ is allowed to come. For all you know she's been hankering for an excuse to buy cute baby things for someone. I'm hankering to buy cute baby things for someone. There are Hungry Caterpillar embroidered baby clothes in our local shops! Baby showers don't take all day, do they? You could always go for coffee by yourselves afterwards. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I'd explain the situation and ask if she would like to come along (provided this is ok with the hostess) and then do something afterward or if she would like to reschedule. I'm sure she will understand, and everything will be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
labst60 Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 YIKES - don't invite her along unless she knows the mom-to-be - especially if its going to be a small, intimate shower. I don't care if they brought a gift or not, I would *not* have wanted or been comfortable with strangers at my baby showers (hence they were small 10-15 women) - I would have honestly preferred my cousins spouse not attend than to bring a stranger (to me ) with her! Don't ask the hostess, that puts her in an awful, awful position! Just call up or email long lost friend and explain. If she is bothered by it, then she really isn't much of a true friend - I think your request is entirely reasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 (edited) I am not sure about bringing her, but I will try to find out. Brilliant solution. I will see if she is willing to meet later in the day or would prefer to reschedule. Thank you! ETA: I sent the email with details and asked if she would be willing to meet for dinner or dessert later in the day. Thank you again for the advice. Edited September 11, 2012 by Excelsior! Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 YIKES - don't invite her along unless she knows the mom-to-be - especially if its going to be a small, intimate shower. I don't care if they brought a gift or not, I would *not* have wanted or been comfortable with strangers at my baby showers (hence they were small 10-15 women) - I would have honestly preferred my cousins spouse not attend than to bring a stranger (to me ) with her! Don't ask the hostess, that puts her in an awful, awful position! Just call up or email long lost friend and explain. If she is bothered by it, then she really isn't much of a true friend - I think your request is entirely reasonable. After thinking a bit, I agree. I asked my friend if she would be willing to meet up after. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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