Slipper Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I typically get along well with my in-laws. This summer I was startled to have a very bad experience with my FIL and his wife (step-MIL). It went incredibly badly to the point where DH does not talk with them. After coming home from our bad summer trip, my youngest actually had nightmares of FIL (her grandfather) coming to kill us. My middle daughter told my mother about the bad words she had heard (the F word, @ss, etc) from FIL. I can't stress enough how out of character this is for FIL. I have never heard him use poor language or act in this manner. When middle dd was in the hospital recently, she was there for five days with an appendix that ruptured during surgery. After three days, we felt that his father should probably be told but neither of us wanted to call. My mother called and let them know about the hospitalization and told them that we wanted them to know but hadn't had a chance to call. They immediately called us both (DH wouldn't answer but I did) and came to the hospital to visit. The visit went well except he tried to argue with me a few times. He would say very sarcastically, "Well, SLIPPER, nobody tells me anything so how would I know?" (The subject was about his ex-wife's current husband being ill). Whenever he became sarcastic I changed the subject. I was a bit shocked that he would start an argument in front of dd while we were at the hospital. (DD was still on morphine so was a bit oblivious. She was just happy that they came to visit.) I also noticed at that visit that he was angry at everything. He was angry at the traffic, talked about wanting to snap parent's heads off at church, mad at the power company, etc. I honestly worry that maybe the changes we see are part of a medical problem. We always host holidays at our house and invite everyone. I think there is a very good (almost excellent) chance that he will cause a scene at my house, on a holiday, in front of the kids. I dread thinking about it, even though we have a while until Thanksgiving. DH says that he doesn't want him invited, but I think he would just show up anyway. (He currently thinks we are trying to keep him from the kids which hasn't been true, but may actually happen as awful as that sounds). Step-MIL has been manipulative but she tries to avoid fighting but FIL blows up at every little thing (including the fact that we've been visiting MIL a lot since her husband has been in the hospital for the past 7 weeks). We're not inviting him, but if he shows up, should I meet him in the yard and tell him that if he causes a scene he'll have to leave? (DH can't do it because they were so angry last time I was afraid FIL was going to hit him, seriously.) I hate to sound like a Jerry Springer show, because we aren't drama seeking people, but I'm worried, upset and embarrassed at the potential of what could happen. (Not to mention the fact that my family is livid about how he yelled at me this summer). Suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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