My 11 year old dd just asked me, "What is a s*x slave?"

[creekmom]

Of course, my first response was, "Where did you hear that??" Apparently, she had been listening to a Christian radio station (Air 1) on her ipod and discovered and read a story about human trafficking. A young girl on a date was drugged, kidnapped and taken to another country to be a s*x slave.

I realize trafficking is a serious problem that needs to be addressed, but is it really something that needs to be talked about on a Christian radio station???? A radio station that young children listen to?? A station I thought I could trust to not put inappropriate material for children on its website?? Obviously, this is not a topic I want to discuss with my 11 year old!! I'm so frustrated right now! She was so scared after reading that article. To make matters worse, I've been preparing to have "the talk" with her, and now, she is going to associate s*x with rape and slavery. :(

Edited September 10, 2012 by creekmom

[Rebecca VA]

I don't think it would be too hard to explain that some men kidnap girls (and boys) for evil purposes. The men hurt these children and force them to do nasty things that God disapproves of. These children need prayers. There are some wonderful adults working to help them, but the need is very great.

 

There's plenty of prostitution mentioned in the Bible. Thankfully it seems to go over most children's heads.

[rjand6more]

Of course, my first response was, "Where did you hear that??" Apparently, she had been listening to a Christian radio station (Air 1) on her ipod and discovered and read a story about human trafficking. A young girl on a date was drugged, kidnapped and taken to another country to be a s*x slave.

I realize trafficking is a serious problem that needs to be addressed, but is it really something that needs to be talked about on a Christian radio station???? A radio station that young children listen to?? A station I thought I could trust to not put inappropriate material for children on its website?? Obviously, this is not a topic I want to discuss with my 11 year old!! I'm so frustrated right now! She was so scared after reading that article. To make matters worse, I've been preparing to have "the talk" with her, and now, she is going to associate s*x with rape and slavery. :(

 

I have discussed human trafficking with my 10 year old dd. Actually there is an organization in our small town that fights against it specifically.(www.ecmafrica.org) I do not think it is inappropriate to discuss it even with children. With my littles, they just know that people take children and hurt them.

[AK_Mom4]

:grouphug:

 

We've had a few of those "not quite ready to dive into" topics come up over the years for DD11 - mostly a side effect of having older siblings and overhearing things, but occasionally on the Christian radio station here. Same thing - exposes on significant topics, but not (IMO) kid-friendly.

 

What usually works for us is to break it down - talk about slavery, what it is, how people are affected, how common it is (or isn't), and then mention that this is just another type of slavery. We had a similiar conversation about date r*pe not too long ago thanks to the radio station. :glare:

[Jennifer3141]

I have discussed human trafficking with my 10 year old dd. Actually there is an organization in our small town that fights against it specifically.(www.ecmafrica.org) I do not think it is inappropriate to discuss it even with children. With my littles, they just know that people take children and hurt them.

 

 

I've discussed it with my 7 and 8 year olds!! We protested this summer and they needed to know what we were protesting. I simply explained that some grownups all over the world sometimes did evil things to children. Heartbreaking, but not a big deal.

[In the Rain]

I don't think it would be too hard to explain that some men kidnap girls (and boys) for evil purposes. The men hurt these children and force them to do nasty things that God disapproves of. These children need prayers. There are some wonderful adults working to help them, but the need is very great.

 

There's plenty of prostitution mentioned in the Bible. Thankfully it seems to go over most children's heads.

 

:iagree: My kids have overheard similar things from the Christian radio station, and other places. There is an age appropriate way to explain most things. :grouphug: Just wait a little while before "the talk" so she doesn't over associate the two.

[Incognito]

I think by 11 it is something they can hear/understand. If they are ready to ask the question after randomly hearing it on the radio, you can give a slave-centered response, then if they ask more, get into other aspects.

 

I think it is perfectly fine for this to come up on Christian radio. It is horrible. IF it were a kids-only station, then I'd be surprised.

 

We got the free book "no longer a slum dog" and it talks about that. I didn't realize it, and my oldest is still only 6, so I decided we wouldn't be reading it this year. I'm not ready for those talks. BUT, I think by 10 I will be. :) We'll see!

[Ipsey]

I realize trafficking is a serious problem that needs to be addressed, but is it really something that needs to be talked about on a Christian radio station???? A radio station that young children listen to?? A station I thought I could trust to not put inappropriate material for children on its website?? (

 

Hmm, well, do you only want non-Christians and secularists being educated about these important issues? I bet you want these issues addressed from a "Christian perspective" if you hear about them at all. You're only going to get that from "Christian" media.

 

I knew a woman who worked in a ministry devoted to helping children who were sex slaves in Asia. You can bet she wanted people to know about this, and how to help the children, and how to "bring them to Jesus."

 

I just don't understand why a Christian radio station can't talk about these issues, I guess.

[MomatHWTK]

Obviously it's too late to warn you now, but I have noticed that both of my favorite Christian radio stations discuss social issues during music breaks that I'm not always ready to discuss with my kids. Sorry. Our first bad experience was when going to a large multi-band contemporary Christian music concert with the kids. They were having a great time until the intermission speaker started talking about his horrible childhood (and how he survived and came to God). My oldest suffers from anxiety and he bolted- we had to leave.

 

To some extent it was my fault for not thinking things through- the target group is teens and most teens are hearing about that stuff or seeing it in school. But I forget about what everyone else is learning sometimes.

 

Somewhat related- Our doctor's office had ESPN on last week in the waiting room. Should be showing sports, right? They did a newstory on the Israeli hostage taking at the 197? Olympics. WAY too many details and actual footage started showing before I could get to the receptionist and she could get the channel changed. (Again, in the room with my child being treated for anxiety!) Sigh.

 

It is a fallen world and sad to say, there are lots of really bad things that we either need to explain or get ourselves ready to explain way earlier than we might like. :confused:

 

 

FWIW, I have not explained the issue you mentioned to any of my children. I am in the "prepared to" camp but I'm not going to put the information out there yet.

[6packofun]

We listen to Air1 and *every* time I've heard them mention sex trafficking, they have had a disclaimer beforehand. :( It's a cause that they feel passionately about, but I do understand your frustration! Maybe your dd didn't understand the warning or maybe she tuned in at the wrong time! (I'm not saying that they have never NOT given a warning, btw, and I think it would be perfectly appropriate to write the station if you feel strongly about it.)

[bolt.]

I don't think it's very hard to explain -- but then I explained sex to my children while they were still preschoolers. Realistically, if you've been teaching the stories of the patriarchs and kings from the Bible to your children, they already know something about sexual slavery. Hagar was a sex slave, and so were Bilhah and Zilpah (slave concubines of Jacob, mothers to Dan, Napthali, Gad and Asher). Both Solomon and David kept slaves for sexual purposes.

 

Anyhow, at 11, with a young lady who was completely lacking in any understanding of sex itself, I'd tell her that I'd explain it to her, but not yet. As a homeschooler you could say that you were going to get to it as an educational topic. Then, take the time to explain sex as a beautiful thing between married adults that provides pleasure and is a part of conceiving a child. It's important to present that big picture, without any kind of side tracks about how it can go wrong.

 

Then *wait* a few weeks and review her knowledge of sex, going on to explain that since sex feels good, some evil people want to do it to other people, even when the other person doesn't want to, and that's called rape, and it's both a sin and a crime. At the end of that, mention that sometimes an evil person kidnaps someone else and keeps them as a slave so that they can rape that person many times. Emphasize that this is evil, and against the law, and also that it isn't something that happens often or nearby.

 

It can be a good opportunity to begin exposing her to some of the Bible truths contained in stories that have sexual content... you don't need to avoid them forever.

[Sneezyone]

The Israeli hostage taking at the Olympics was and remains a huge story in sports as it relates to athlete security and geopolitical history. The same goes for human trafficking. I've shared here before that my friend was nearly abducted before my eyes in France when we were there as 14yo exchange students. As uncomfortable as these conversations can be, they are important and necessary. 11 hardly seems too young to understand the risks of abduction.

Edited September 10, 2012 by Sneezyone
a raft of typos

[Scarlett]

To make matters worse, I've been preparing to have "the talk" with her, and now, she is going to associate s*x with rape and slavery. :(

 

:confused: You haven't had 'the talk' with her yet? She is 11?

[DianeW88]

:confused: You haven't had 'the talk' with her yet? She is 11?

 

:iagree: That's a little old in my book not to know about this stuff. My 11yo ds knows about many social issues that are s*xual in nature, including s*x trafficking, pornography, rape, etc. And I taught my other kids well before that age also. How else do you keep them safe? I don't want my children to become victims out of ignorance.

[Tree House Academy]

Of course, my first response was, "Where did you hear that??" Apparently, she had been listening to a Christian radio station (Air 1) on her ipod and discovered and read a story about human trafficking. A young girl on a date was drugged, kidnapped and taken to another country to be a s*x slave.

I realize trafficking is a serious problem that needs to be addressed, but is it really something that needs to be talked about on a Christian radio station???? A radio station that young children listen to?? A station I thought I could trust to not put inappropriate material for children on its website?? Obviously, this is not a topic I want to discuss with my 11 year old!! I'm so frustrated right now! She was so scared after reading that article. To make matters worse, I've been preparing to have "the talk" with her, and now, she is going to associate s*x with rape and slavery. :(

 

My 13 year old and I have talked about s*x many times in his life. He started asking questions when he was 4 and I was pregnant with his brother. He knows more than a lot of kids his age. However, anytime he has a question, he asks me and we discuss it. I think your daughter is old enough to know what happens to young girls (some even younger then HER) in other places. You never know - this could be God's way of preparing your daughter for missions or ministry to these people. I try to take any and every opportunity I can to teach my sons my views of the things in the world before someone else can teach theirs! Can you imagine if your dd had asked a friend what s*x trafficking was...and then they googled it on the internet? *shudder at the thought*

[Scarlett]

:iagree: That's a little old in my book not to know about this stuff. My 11yo ds knows about many social issues that are s*xual in nature, including s*x trafficking, pornography, rape, etc. And I taught my other kids well before that age also. How else do you keep them safe? I don't want my children to become victims out of ignorance.

 

I just asked my 12 year ds if he knows what a s*x slave is. He does. I too discuss everything on the above list with my ds12. He was only about 7 when he insisted I tell him what s*x is.

 

And I find they need lots of refresher courses. Just the other day he said something in passing that made me realize he had NO CLUE about something....I can't remember what it was now, but I definitely cleared it up for him.

[swellmomma]

My kids know about it because a fellow homeschooler from out here has gone into missions work saving women and children from human trafficking and she has done presentations at youth groups and at the homeschool group about it, and we have prayed for her often as she is going into very dangerous situations to save these people (she was attacked at one point in her hotel room as a result of her work and left for dead etc)

[Tree House Academy]

And I find they need lots of refresher courses. Just the other day he said something in passing that made me realize he had NO CLUE about something....I can't remember what it was now, but I definitely cleared it up for him.

 

Haha - That reminds me...once my ds 13 (he was about 11 at the time) was talking about s*x and babies and such and he said something so innocent, but so funny. It was something along the lines of, "but you only have to have s*x one time for each baby you want, right?" I didn't realize, until that moment, that he had no reason to realize he would actually want to have s*x one day. In his naive eyes, even though he understood the mechanics, it was just the "way babies were made." :lol: Honestly, I let him think that for a bit longer (until puberty took over)...cause, well, while I am good with talking about it...I surely don't want to think about him actually doing it anytime soon!

[creekmom]

:confused: You haven't had 'the talk' with her yet? She is 11?

 

If she were in public school, or had friends in public school (they're all homeschooled), or even if we lived in a neighborhood (we're way out in the country) I would have felt the need to discuss it earlier. We've talked about menstruation, but not s*x yet. I think 10/11 years old is the perfect time to talk about these things in detail, but I realize not everyone is going to agree with me.

 

I'm not sure how I'm going to approach this topic now bc I don't want her to view it as something negative or something to fear. Thank you for all the advice. You've given me lots to think about.

[Lovedtodeath]

:confused: You haven't had 'the talk' with her yet? She is 11?

Well, I have had the talk about how a sperm and egg meet up when men and women sleep together...

 

I just don't want DD to know how the organs actually fit together, because I knew about it all too soon. :( I don't think kids should know how it actually works... and I have been meaning to discuss this particular thing. This thread seems like a good topic to bring it up on.

[Plucky]

:confused: You haven't had 'the talk' with her yet? She is 11?

 

That is so funny. When I told my oldest at 11 all my in-laws said it was too early. I taught the others earlier than that since once the knowledge is out in the family it seems others find out anyway.

[Plucky]

I don't think it would be too hard to explain that some men kidnap girls (and boys) for evil purposes. The men hurt these children and force them to do nasty things that God disapproves of. These children need prayers. There are some wonderful adults working to help them, but the need is very great.

 

There's plenty of prostitution mentioned in the Bible. Thankfully it seems to go over most children's heads.

 

I agree. When my kids asked why anyone would take them I told them as much as I could depending on the age. It stinks but it's something they need to know. :angry:

[WishboneDawn]

Of course, my first response was, "Where did you hear that??" Apparently, she had been listening to a Christian radio station (Air 1) on her ipod and discovered and read a story about human trafficking. A young girl on a date was drugged, kidnapped and taken to another country to be a s*x slave.

I realize trafficking is a serious problem that needs to be addressed, but is it really something that needs to be talked about on a Christian radio station???? A radio station that young children listen to?? A station I thought I could trust to not put inappropriate material for children on its website?? Obviously, this is not a topic I want to discuss with my 11 year old!! I'm so frustrated right now! She was so scared after reading that article. To make matters worse, I've been preparing to have "the talk" with her, and now, she is going to associate s*x with rape and slavery. :(

 

:confused:

 

I have to admit, the bolded bit sort of shocks me.

 

In my mind Christian radio is exactly where discussions like that should be happening. Since when did Christianity chuck aside being good in favour of being nice?

 

As for her associated s*x with rape and slavery, as long as you discuss it with her I think she'll be fine.

Edited September 10, 2012 by WishboneDawn

[Scarlett]

If she were in public school, or had friends in public school (they're all homeschooled), or even if we lived in a neighborhood (we're way out in the country) I would have felt the need to discuss it earlier. We've talked about menstruation, but not s*x yet. I think 10/11 years old is the perfect time to talk about these things in detail, but I realize not everyone is going to agree with me.

 

I'm not sure how I'm going to approach this topic now bc I don't want her to view it as something negative or something to fear. Thank you for all the advice. You've given me lots to think about.

 

I do respect your right to parent your dd as you see fit. However, I strongly encourage you to reconsider keeping hard realities and biological facts from her at this age. 50 years ago--maybe. In this day and age---well you have been hit squarely in the face with WHY you can't keep an 11 year old in the dark about these matters.

 

As far as how to approach 'this topic' now.....you approach it as a different topic. Because sex slavery and r@pe and P@rn have nothing to do with what goes on in a loving relationship. If SHE links the two, you tell her that sick people of the world pervert all sorts of natural and wonderful things.

[Mergath]

It's probably a good thing that she heard this on the radio. Girls not that much older than your dd are taken from the US and sold into sexual slavery more often than you'd think. I've watched some horrifying documentaries on that exact subject. It's easier to protect yourself from these kinds of things if you're aware of the specific dangers.

[Pretty in Pink]

All is not lost. She's 11...old enough to discuss the topic with. It's a reality and, really, children her age are targeted for trafficking here in the United States.

 

My kids know that there are bad people out there that take children with the goal of touching them in private places. Even my 4yo knows this. My 9 and 13yos know the correct terminology for this practice.

 

I think just keeping a level head and playing it cool is the best response. "Oh, you heard about that. Well, human trafficking is a real thing that happens to children all over the globe...." and then just explain it to her. Answer her questions if she has any. It will be okay.

 

And I do think Christian radio is a place where the topic ought to be discussed. Not during the Adventure's in Odyssey segment on Saturday morning or whatever, but when I used to listen to Christian radio I heard such broadcasts during 'prime time' and there was always a disclaimer beforehand stating that the topic was not appropriate for little ears.

 

:grouphug: