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out of curiosity..... school bus issue


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If your young child was being bullied on the bus, as in, being physically harmed, would you:

 

A. Talk to the bus driver the next day before your child gets on the bus and then put your child on the bus, knowing nothing has been rectified with the situation.

 

Or....

 

B. Drive your child to school (if you could) until you were assured your child wouldn't be sat next to the bully and the bully had been disciplined.

 

Or, how would you handle it? I'm reading so many posts from moms who are saying their child is getting hit, punched, slapped, etc, and is looking for advice and so far pretty much every mom has said, "Just mention it to the bus driver and let your child know it's safe to ride the bus. Then go talk to the principal/transportation department."

 

I'm the only one who has said I wouldn't let my child on the bus until something was done to assure me my child wouldn't get bullied anymore.

 

Thoughts? I know I can be overprotective, but it just surprises me that so many moms would just let their child back on the bus right away.

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I would speak to the principal and the bus garage. When my DD went to kindergarten, she took the bus and sat next to the girl from across the street. Suddenly my DD did not want to ride the bus and I had no idea why. I thought she just liked me driving her better. Then one day the mom from across the street and I were both at the bus stop with our girls and got to talking after the bus left. Turns out her DD didn't want to ride the bus either.

 

Turns out there was a third seat mate who was causing problems. Neighbor called the principal and the bus garage, they reviewed the video tape from the bus, and the girl was pushing the neighbor who would in turn push my DD onto the floor over and over. But my DD never said anything!

 

The bully was suspended for a day, lost her bus privileges for a month, and no longer sat with our girls. I was very pleased with the way it was handled, but I do wish my DD would have known to tell me what was going on.

 

If the school hadn't responded in such a good way, I would have driven my DD for the rest of the year. And after that situation, I regularly asked my DD pointed questions to see if anything like that ever happened again and nothing ever did.

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Definitely, I would drive my child until the situation was resolved to my liking. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of the school bus anyway. I know a lot of people would scoff at that, but I've seen or heard of too many situations on the bus with bullying, improper exposure to certain subjects from older kids, etc. When I rode the bus to middle school... good grief was that an education, and that was 25 years ago...

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We had that problem last year; we first encouraged our son to handle it by telling the bully in question to stop and to let the bus driver know if the bully continued. When that didn't work we contacted the teacher who had a chat with the students about bus conduct. That didn't work either... we then contacted the transportation department and it ended with the principal being notified too. Nothing worked. So we called the kid's parents (who we sort of knew), the kid came to apologize and that was finally the end of it!

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I would drive the child until we had gotten to the bottom of the problem on the bus (by discussing with the superintendent for transportation, principal, superintendent of schools etc as appropriate and needed) and had a solution that ensured the child would be safe.

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Definitely, I would drive my child until the situation was resolved to my liking. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of the school bus anyway. I know a lot of people would scoff at that, but I've seen or heard of too many situations on the bus with bullying, improper exposure to certain subjects from older kids, etc. When I rode the bus to middle school... good grief was that an education, and that was 25 years ago...

 

This. I was spit on, hit, had things thrown at me, and had gum put in my hair. I was miserable. I was finally driven to school by my parents when I refused to get on the bus.

 

Don't let is escalate.

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Personally, I would take them off the bus and be done with it. I wouldn't bother with lawyers and stuff, I think it's a waste of time and money. :ack2:

BUT that isn't possible for some people. In which case doing EVERYTHING they can to make sure it gets stopped is the only option.

 

I was in 2nd grade and was cornered on a nearly empty bus by a 3rd-4th grader who told me he was going to r**e me. I didn't even know what that meant - heck, I don't know if he knew what that meant! :) But I remember the look on his face, and I remember that he was mean. Obviously nothing happened, the bus driver must have gotten back on or something made the kid decide to leave me alone - he'd sufficiently scared the little girl for the day. Was I traumatized? No. But it wasn't an experience I would like for my kids, either.

When I was in middle school I was repeatedly picked on by an older boy again. He would hit me with things like newspapers, etc. I don't know if my grandparents talked to the school about it, but I know that I didn't have to ride the bus after that. (I rode the bus off and on throughout my school career)

Edited by PeacefulChaos
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Unless it was impossible I would never put my child back on that, or any, bus. If it were impossible for me to take them I would become "Mama bear" to bus driver, principal, BOE, etc until something serious was done. I can't imagine someone putting their child in that situation knowingly. :confused:

 

Kids get bullied at school every day, and parents keep sending their kids there. :glare:

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The school bus is the pits. Lord of the Flies on wheels. When our kids were in private school before homeschooling, both dh and I said NO WAY to the bus. We drove them every day.

 

In much the same way we don't let the kids hang out in prisons, gang meetings, INSIDE the cages with the animals in zoos, fighting rings.... you get my drift.

 

Also, busses smell AWFUL, like terrible fumes, ON THE BUS. Not just behind the bus. Nice lungful of ick the kids are getting!

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This is why I started homeschooling - dear stepdaughter came home from school with a split lip. A boy on the bus threw a full can of pop at her. When I called the school to complain, they told me it was the bus company's problem and there was nothing they could do about it (this is considered one of the best schools in the state, BTW, wealthy suburban district), but since I brought it up, they would talk to the kids involved.

 

The boy freely admitted that he threw the pop, BUT here is the crazy part. Since my stepdaughter had instinctively thrown up her arm to deflect the pop can from hitting her, that was considered 'responding to the incident', which was a no-no under their zero tolerance policy. So while the boy got suspended, stepdaughter ALSO got sent on an out of school suspension.

 

OOOOOkay. Well, I try to teach my kids to follow the rules, since MOST of them are there for a reason, so I just explained to her that yes, this is stupid, but it is the rule, and it was a rule we were familiar with (although we never imagined it would be implemented in quite this manner). So they give you a piece of paper with the street address on it of where she is supposed to go for her out of school suspension.

 

DH gets there. It's juvenile hall. I wish I was making this up. Out of school suspension were to be served by putting the school child IN WITH THE JUVENILE INMATES for the day. Thank GOD DH had the sense to go right back to the school and tell them they were going to have to find another solution. (Keep in mind all she did was raise her arm in order to NOT be hit by a pop can, she never struck anyone or made a move to, even the boy who threw the can said so.)

 

The school said can't do that, you have to take her back to juvenile hall.

 

DH called me and said, "We're going to homeschool her starting now."

 

I said, "What? What's homeschool?" :-)

 

 

Fortunately, once the school realized my DH was completely serious, they offered her in-school suspension instead and she just spent a day sitting in study hall, which was still stupid but at least not dangerous. But after that I got ready in case anything else happened, and the more I found out about homeschooling, the more I liked it, and when my DD and DS were born, I had already made up my mind to homeschool. Keep in mind, too, my stepdaughter is 32 years old now, so this was nearly 20 years ago. I should HOPE this kind of thing doesn't happen anymore anywhere, and I KNOW it no longer happens at our local district.

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I'm the only one who has said I wouldn't let my child on the bus until something was done to assure me my child wouldn't get bullied anymore.

 

Thoughts? I know I can be overprotective, but it just surprises me that so many moms would just let their child back on the bus right away.

 

I'm right there with you, Bean.

 

My kid wouldn't be getting back on that bus, and the driver would have been reported to the school principal, the transportation department, and the superintendent of schools.

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Do not allow your child to be bullied.

 

Yes, they must learn to assert themselves, but until then or until they have a posse of helpful friends, don't be shy about sticking up for them.

 

I would insist that the administrators and teachers do more than just chat with the involved parties. Get programs started.

 

My son's high school conducts several anti-bullying workshops for the kids. The NAMES program is one of them. Kids who were bullied are allowed to speak before an assembly of classmates to tell them what happened, how it made them feel, and how it affected their lives. The stories are very sad but send a powerful message and encourage student bystanders to intervene. I would not want to be a bully at his school because it's extremely uncool and the bully will have to deal with the many students who won't condone it. I've seen one occurrance where some students created an anonymous site dissing particular kids, but the kids who were dissed were overwhelmingly supported on Facebook by 100s of other students who came to their (cyber) aid and defended them and told the cowards to stop hiding behind their anonymity. It's very uncool to be a bully at his school.

 

Interestingly, some of the students talking at the NAMES assembly mentioned specific teachers who turned a blind eye to bullying. My youngest had a teacher (actually an aide) who liked to taunt and bully him. After several incidents, I called her up and asked for her side of the story. It was clear to me with her stammering and stuttering that she was not telling the whole story. Other parents had witnessed some of these incidents and told me how she behaved toward my son which jibed with his accounts. I calmly told her I was not afraid to get litigious. She quit soon after and frankly, I am glad she did. It is bad enough that kids bully kids but teachers too? No.

 

All that to say: stick up for your child while teaching him or her assertion skills. You will be glad you did.

Edited by MBM
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