shanvan Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I posted recently about facebook wars and the one upping that goes on on fb. Generally, I find on this board that brag threads do not bother me. I have not noticed the one upping here and people seem to be generally happy for the successes of the people posting. Have you noticed the same? Just curious how people perceive brags on this forum. Do they bother you? Do you think they make people feel bad? (Your answers determine whether or not I post my brag here b/c I stopped posting any kind of achievement on fb long ago.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Brags on this forum seem like encouragements to me, and not one up manship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Brags on this forum seem like encouragements to me, and not one up manship. :iagree: I enjoy reading posts like that here. I feel like we can all celebrate together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Brags make me happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I love reading people's brags :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Bragging hasn't bothered me here or on Facebook. I love sharing my joy with others, and I figure they want to do the same. My dh has a hard time rejoicing with others -- somehow it always results in his resentment. I never want to be like that. I have hesitating posting things before, but I go ahead and do it because those who care about me should rejoice with me, and those who don't can just ignore me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 Bragging hasn't bothered me here or on Facebook. I love sharing my joy with others, and I figure they want to do the same. My dh has a hard time rejoicing with others -- somehow it always results in his resentment. I never want to be like that. I have hesitating posting things before, but I go ahead and do it because those who care about me should rejoice with me, and those who don't can just ignore me. Just to clarify, on fb, it is the steady stream of one upping brags that bother me. It's the people who constantly want to turn every success posted by a 'friend' into a competition that get to me. I am happy to rejoice with friends about their accomplishments. I just wondered how others feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Peach Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Brags here don't bother me at all, nor generally on FB. I do have one friend though, who will post things like "So glad DD made all A's in school, too bad I promised her $1 for each one!" That annoys me, but I can't put my finger on why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Brags here seem like a celebration. I'm okay with them. Also, they're always well marked, so if you want to avoid them for whatever reason you can just move on past them. FB is more in your face - you start reading the message before you know it's a brag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I love reading people's brags! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I like brags here, especially when someone takes the time to explain why a particular achievement is special. I love it when I hear that a shy kid took a risk and made a friend, or one person worked really hard and did a great job on a project. Those sort of 'brags' are more a celebration. I like that. A brag of "my smart kid is smart" doesn't impress me. That isn't special. A brag of 'my smart kid, who has a hard time reading, read three novels this summer, and it was her own idea' makes me cheer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Just to clarify, on fb, it is the steady stream of one upping brags that bother me. It's the people who constantly want to turn every success posted by a 'friend' into a competition that get to me. I am happy to rejoice with friends about their accomplishments. I just wondered how others feel. The post was not at all directed to you in that way. I was just sharing my experience. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I've never been bothered by it on Facebook either. My friend's dd got a full scholarship to a private college. After 2 weeks, she is both Freshman senator and varsity cheerleader. Nothing could please me more. I love my friend and her dd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 Brags here have never bothered me. I like to share good moments and I'm sure other people do as well. I can rejoice in their moment, just as I hope they would for me when something good happen for me. I haven't had to deal with one-upmanship on fb either though. I tend to be pretty harsh with who I keep for friends on there. If you can't be polite and somewhat supportive of each other, well then I have better ways to waste my time than reading your nonsense. All that being said, I have my grumpy days once in awhile too when I seem less then supportive so I try to be not to harsh when someone is a little less than nice once in awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted September 9, 2012 Author Share Posted September 9, 2012 The post was not at all directed to you in that way. I was just sharing my experience. :) I didn't think so, just wanted to make sure no one gets the wrong idea about my question. I also recently discovered (on my fb thread) that there are people who have never seen one upping on fb. I just assumed everyone had acquaintances who have it happening at one time or another. I kind of thought that most people here are supportive and don't mind the brags. That seems to be the consensus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I love them. I also love that we can be upfront and say, "I'm going to brag now!" There's something so genuine about that. It's the humblebrags I don't care for. Nobody was fooled in middle school when Dana (and that was, in fact, her name :)) claimed to hate her long, blonde hair because people were always telling her how beautiful she was. And nobody buys it now when somebody, as in Peach's example, drops the "straight As" comment into what is ostensibly a complaint or neutral observation. That isn't to say that things that might seem boastful on the surface really aren't. If your kindergartner is reading at a high school level and you're having trouble finding appropriate books, that's a legitimate concern and isn't veiled bragging. But I think we can all tell the difference (and give the benefit of the doubt when we can't). So brag, OP! Brag! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I posted recently about facebook wars and the one upping that goes on on fb. Generally, I find on this board that brag threads do not bother me. I have not noticed the one upping here and people seem to be generally happy for the successes of the people posting. Have you noticed the same? Just curious how people perceive brags on this forum. Do they bother you? Do you think they make people feel bad? (Your answers determine whether or not I post my brag here b/c I stopped posting any kind of achievement on fb long ago.) Brags on this forum have never bothered me. They are nearly always announced as brags and I am happy for the achievement. Sometimes things on FB seem too braggy for my taste. My own envy is more likely the culprit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I must disclose for honesty's sake. When I see my son's girlfriend going on and on in every post about how wonderful he is, and when I see how he goes out of his way to give her something, I do roll my eyes. Not because love disheartens me, but I know him, and I wonder how long it will take before he starts to treat her like he treats the rest of his family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I love hearing about fun, happy things in other people's lives!! Even on FB. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I love hearing about fun, happy things in other people's lives!! Even on FB. :) :iagree: Me too! Especially on FB, because I know those people and their kids IRL. I like knowing what is going on with them. I haven't seen the one-upping you're describing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 :iagree:I enjoy reading posts like that here. I feel like we can all celebrate together. :iagree: I'm not sure why I don't feel comfortable bragging on FB. My oldest is very advanced and has been for a long time. I learned early on with him that people take my comments on his achievements as their child(ren) not being "good" enough. It's nothing I say, just their interpretation. So I quit. I think here we are happy when others succeeded and encouraging when we have problems or heart aches. That's why I like it so much here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joani Posted September 9, 2012 Share Posted September 9, 2012 I've never seen much bragging on Facebook, but I do love the brags on here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 It doesn't bother me. What's the 42 in your signature? Is it new? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 What's the 42 in your signature? Is it new? I've wanted to ask this too. I have been guessing that it is her age or the answer to the most important question in the universe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Bragging hasn't bothered me here or on Facebook. I love sharing my joy with others, and I figure they want to do the same. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I've wanted to ask this too. I have been guessing that it is her age or the answer to the most important question in the universe. Now I want to know, too.:bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 I've wanted to ask this too. I have been guessing that it is her age or the answer to the most important question in the universe. :lol: Me too. I might be guilty of wanting her to fess up! It's my age too....I think...let me ask Dh. I stopped counting once I hit 40. ETA: I think the little violin player smiley might have clarified it for me....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I have a similar feeling about brags here vs FB. It's probably because we also share struggles and mundane stuff and thoughts about random stuff like cupcakes, kilts, and the like. On FB, there seems to be a bid for attention with every post, rather than a sharing or query. Know what I mean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I love to read the brags here because they encourage me, and occasionally I post one myself. I never feel safe or comfortable doing it to anyone irl, and have been unfriended by several on FB who felt intimidated. That really hurt my feelings. Kids deserve praise, if humbly given. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I think bragging is fine as long as you're humble about it. ;) Here people generally warn you that you're about to hear a brag. So you feel like you're "in on it" or something. You can always choose to not read the brags, also. The other thing is that I don't know you IRL, so it's very unlikely I'll feel competitive with you. Not sure why I feel competitive with people I do know (about some things). Maybe it's more defensiveness - because whenever my kids are around people I know, they act like doofuses. :tongue_smilie: I sometimes feel a strong (very strong) urge to share one of my kids' accomplishments, but I'm afraid to. I just know someone, somewhere is going to read it as "too bad your kid is so stupid." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 They don't bother me at all here. I think the reason FB is different for some people is the nature of FB for some people. Sme people use FB as a way to make their lives seem perfect, whereas on a message board, generally we're all complaining, venting, crying, asking advice, having fun, etc., in addition to the brags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 The people who post that they're bragging never truly are, from what I can see. I DO see some people sharing their Polly Anna, life is always glorious posts, though, and I don't believe them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I have a similar feeling about brags here vs FB. It's probably because we also share struggles and mundane stuff and thoughts about random stuff like cupcakes, kilts, and the like. On FB, there seems to be a bid for attention with every post, rather than a sharing or query. Know what I mean? Not really, as it's not that way on my wall. Mostly people share funny posts from other sites, quotes, anecdotes, or things their kids say or do. Some of it is mundane stuff or observations. I don't see "brag" posts as a parenting competition or a case of one-upmanship. I think people are genuinely proud of their kids when they get reserve champion at the state fair, win the spelling bee, medal at a sports competition, or read a Bob Book for the first time (all real posts I've seen in my feed). Those joys are part of life. Why begrudge anyone for wanting to share them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I like brags. I like brags about kids here. I like brags about our own accomplishments here. I like brags about kids on FB. I like brags about people's accomplishments on FB. Sometimes I do struggle with an eye roll or some envy, but that's my problem. I need to curb that. I haven't seen any one upmanship though. Friendship is a not a competitive sport on my FB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemykids Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I think that posting in a positive manner, while on public forums etc., is pretty much human nature. If someone says things are going great in their homeschool, or life, or whatever, I never think that means on a day to day basis things are always peachy.;) We all know there are ups and downs in life. The person posting may save the not so great days to share with a close friend who is going through something similar, in private. Pollyanna posts and positive brags are very encouraging; they show us what we can accomplish if we try. I am all for that kind of uplifting brag. :thumbup1: I also appreciate the candid posts of those that choose to share the darker moments in their life, but let’s face it..not everyone is willing to do that so publically. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Any parents with the wind blowing in their favor, go for it..there's plenty of days that don't. Make it up if ya have to I say... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 The people who post that they're bragging never truly are, from what I can see. I DO see some people sharing their Polly Anna, life is always glorious posts, though, and I don't believe them. I know what you mean....I've seen those too. I've never owned rose-colored glasses, and so, alas life is just not always glorious here. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted September 10, 2012 Author Share Posted September 10, 2012 Any parents with the wind blowing in their favor, go for it..there's plenty of days that don't. Make it up if ya have to I say... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemykids Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I love brag threads here! Iguess I haven't run into many FB page brags--or maybe I just whizz past them... I feel that's what I do here as well..if I am here- it is very briefly, I don't have a lot of time to read here so most of it is skimming.. I haven't really noticed many "Pollyanna" posts either. shrugs..:auto: Any parents with the wind blowing in their favor, go for it..there's plenty of days that don't. Amen. Make it up if ya have to I say... :lol::tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Brags would only annoy me if all the person seems to do is brag, or if it were done in a mean, I'm-better-than-you way. I have noticed that the regular posters on here might brag one day, share their struggles another day, and offer helpful insights and encouragement to others the next day. A bit of bragging here and there among the person's other posts doesn't seem like bragging to me, and it's really nice to hear about people's joys and successes (especially when you know they have had challenges to overcome). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I'm always happy to read the brags. :001_smile: We see so many threads where people have such big problems and tragedies in their lives, that it's such a pleasure to read the happy threads as a balance to the unhappy stuff. I still read the sad stuff and the upsetting stuff, because I'm glad people feel safe enough her to post and ask for support and prayers -- and because people have been so generous with their prayers when I have needed them -- so I guess I'm just saying that I'm fine with all kinds of threads, but the brags are always so encouraging and motivating, and sometimes people have no one IRL who will understand or be happy for them, so I'm glad to give them some :hurray: and :thumbup: when I see the happy threads posted here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 I love reading brags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrissySC Posted September 10, 2012 Share Posted September 10, 2012 Brags with pictures ... even better! I have bookshelf envy right now. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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