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Do I tell her? (re: People to People)


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A friend called today and talked to DH. She was very excited that her DD has been "nominated" for a trip with People-to-People and was asking if I could complete one of the recommendation forms for her.

 

She's coming by tomorrow to give me the form. Do I take it, complete it, and keep my mouth shut, or do I tell her what little I know of the organization: that it is likely that no one nominated her daughter and that they send out marketing materials to a very wide list of middle and high school kids, that I've received a few for my DD and they've gone straight in the trash, and that the organization is a for-profit travel organization.

 

Her DD is already very excited about the possibility of this trip. :confused:

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A friend called today and talked to DH. She was very excited that her DD has been "nominated" for a trip with People-to-People and was asking if I could complete one of the recommendation forms for her.

 

She's coming by tomorrow to give me the form. Do I take it, complete it, and keep my mouth shut, or do I tell her what little I know of the organization: that it is likely that no one nominated her daughter and that they send out marketing materials to a very wide list of middle and high school kids, that I've received a few for my DD and they've gone straight in the trash, and that the organization is a for-profit travel organization.

 

Her DD is already very excited about the possibility of this trip. :confused:

 

That happened to my niece - some trip to the Australia barrier reef or whatever. I told her mom in as gentle a way as I could that it "might" be . . . not such an honor and that she should go ask a trusted teacher or school admin.

 

I figure they would have found out sooner or later, and sooner seemed likely to be less painful.

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I got one of those for our "middle schooler" - who is only 9. :glare:

 

I would suggest to her that there are more organizations for foreign exchange, and that she not be swayed too much by the nomination, but check out the organization and compare it to others, and that there are complaints about P2P. Perhaps she will go home and google it.

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That's a tricky situation.

 

If she seems completely excited that her child was nominated for this, then I would find a way to mention that they buy marketing lists, so the 'nomination' part isn't accurate, but that the trip itself might be a good experience, and that she should check it out online. In her shoes, I would want to know that the "honor" is really not what it is portrayed to be. I know I was excited when my child received that first letter and felt honored that someone thought enough of my child to nominate him; I was pretty perturbed when I found out the truth.

 

My reasoning for saying you should tell her about the 'nomination' part is that she thinks enough of you/you are close enough that she would ask you for a LOR and you called her a friend, so you have closeness with each other. She may investigate and still want to proceed, but at least she would have more information and won't feel misled if/when she discovers the truth. If it was just someone overheard talking at a co-op, I might not say a thing, but because she's a friend, I would want to give her more info.

 

For what it's worth, both my dc received letters last week... one mentioned a 'nomination', but the other was at least honest and said at the bottom that they received my child's name through an AYSO (soccer) list.

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I would email her, today, before she has another day of them being ridiculously excited, and before she brings forms by, and say something like:

 

"Hi,

I know this is going to be disappointing to hear and I hate to be the one to do that to you, but I know that if the situation were reversed I would want someone to tell me. The organization you received forms from that talked about so and so being "nominated" is an organization that is known for sending out phony or scam letters and junk mail as a means of getting people to spend money with their company and they really don't have the greatest reviews online. I have received such letters from them, too, and have heard of cases where these letters show up for nine year old children, even. I know the prospect of foreign travel is a really exciting one, so I want to suggest you look around online a bit and see if you can find someone with better reviews if travel is something you want to pursue for your daughter. There are other, similar opportunities that are more legitimate so this isn't completely bad news. Maybe just do some reading up on different organizations, and then once you've found one you are comfortable with (even if it ends up being this same one), I'll be happy to fill out any necessary forms for you. I just wanted to give you a heads up!"

 

I mean, I would definitely want to know if I were her!

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I would email her, today, before she has another day of them being ridiculously excited, and before she brings forms by, and say something like:

 

"Hi,

I know this is going to be disappointing to hear and I hate to be the one to do that to you, but I know that if the situation were reversed I would want someone to tell me. The organization you received forms from that talked about so and so being "nominated" is an organization that is known for sending out phony or scam letters and junk mail as a means of getting people to spend money with their company and they really don't have the greatest reviews online. I have received such letters from them, too, and have heard of cases where these letters show up for nine year old children, even. I know the prospect of foreign travel is a really exciting one, so I want to suggest you look around online a bit and see if you can find someone with better reviews if travel is something you want to pursue for your daughter. There are other, similar opportunities that are more legitimate so this isn't completely bad news. Maybe just do some reading up on different organizations, and then once you've found one you are comfortable with (even if it ends up being this same one), I'll be happy to fill out any necessary forms for you. I just wanted to give you a heads up!"

 

I mean, I would definitely want to know if I were her!

 

:iagree:

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I had relatives/family that went to Cuba or China or the Philippines years ago and had an incredible time.

However, I just googled the reviews-- doesn't sound good anymore. If you suggest she google it, she will find the same negative info and can make up her own mind.

 

Two of my nieces have been on People to People trips and had great experiences. Their trips were educational and well-supervised. It's a shame if the quality has declined.

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I would email her, today, before she has another day of them being ridiculously excited, and before she brings forms by, and say something like:

 

"Hi,

I know this is going to be disappointing to hear and I hate to be the one to do that to you, but I know that if the situation were reversed I would want someone to tell me. The organization you received forms from that talked about so and so being "nominated" is an organization that is known for sending out phony or scam letters and junk mail as a means of getting people to spend money with their company and they really don't have the greatest reviews online. I have received such letters from them, too, and have heard of cases where these letters show up for nine year old children, even. I know the prospect of foreign travel is a really exciting one, so I want to suggest you look around online a bit and see if you can find someone with better reviews if travel is something you want to pursue for your daughter. There are other, similar opportunities that are more legitimate so this isn't completely bad news. Maybe just do some reading up on different organizations, and then once you've found one you are comfortable with (even if it ends up being this same one), I'll be happy to fill out any necessary forms for you. I just wanted to give you a heads up!"

 

I mean, I would definitely want to know if I were her!

 

:iagree:Well-stated!

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Thanks everyone. She did come by today with the recommendation form and we let her know that the mailings are just marketing and she said that she needed to do more research about the organization. I feel comfortable that she will research and find the easily available information.

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I wouldn't say anything. Or I would just say (as neutral as possible) that you've heard some of those companies aren't that great. And let her do her own research.

 

My son got one when he was 10 or so and we were homeschooling.

 

He got one last year as well but this time he was actually nominated by his high school teacher who goes on the trips. We didn't allow him to go because I don't like how the company does their business but it *is* a business and they *do* organize the trips.

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In case anyone is wondering if those "nominations" are always real. We received a letter at our house two weeks ago addressed to "The Parents of MyName". I had been nominated because of all my accomplishments and my parents should be proud of me, etc.

 

Yes, I double-checked it was NOT for my 13-year old or my 16-year old; according to the letter someone had nominated ME!

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In case anyone is wondering if those "nominations" are always real. We received a letter at our house two weeks ago addressed to "The Parents of MyName". I had been nominated because of all my accomplishments and my parents should be proud of me, etc.

 

Yes, I double-checked it was NOT for my 13-year old or my 16-year old; according to the letter someone had nominated ME!

 

 

See, I knew from your posts here that you were extraordinary! Glad someone else recognized it too! :lol:

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In case anyone is wondering if those "nominations" are always real. We received a letter at our house two weeks ago addressed to "The Parents of MyName". I had been nominated because of all my accomplishments and my parents should be proud of me, etc.

 

Yes, I double-checked it was NOT for my 13-year old or my 16-year old; according to the letter someone had nominated ME!

 

Your family must be so proud. :tongue_smilie:

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Thanks everyone. She did come by today with the recommendation form and we let her know that the mailings are just marketing and she said that she needed to do more research about the organization. I feel comfortable that she will research and find the easily available information.

 

You could also do a bit of online research for her, and email her some links to info about the organization. I would hate to see a friend get ripped off, even if she and her dd were very excited about something.

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