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Is it age or something else?

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My ds7 is a bright, mature, caring, helpful boy. But over the past few months we have seen steadily worsening behavior from him. Talking back, defiance, telling me he hates me etc. He steadfastly refuses to do certain things, especially our scripture work, but also his chores and various other random things throughout the day. Most days I find us with locked horns over something or other.


What is going on? As a background we moved across the world in May of last year and have spent the past year in a state of unease - DH is unhappy living here and in his job but we have no choice. I was pregnant from the end of last year and subsequently wasn't able to put a huge amount of effort into settling the kids and I very well - we spent a lot of time at home which I know is hard for this particular boy. We moved house (again) mid-July, and had a new baby 3 weeks ago.


I think the poor boy has enough to worry about, plus he's a perfectionist and very sensitive. But I can't live with a fight on my hands every day over everything and nothing. He needs loving, I know that. I try and do special things with all of my children regularly and really I feel like I'm being as gentle as I can with him, but if I've asked him to empty the dishwasher I expect him to do it kwim?


So what to do? Please extend me some wisdom.

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Ds8 became more argumentative around that time, and is just now starting to come out of it. I think also having so much change in his life would exacerbate the natural tendency to resist and push boundaries. Unfortunately, I don't know what to suggest other than to calmly and lovingly enforce your rules. (I'm still working on the calm part, myself.)

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Thanks for the bump! I've been sitting here tapping my fingers and twiddling my thumbs!


Sorry for my ignorance: SN = special needs?? I am beginning to think my ds is overly sensitive - to sounds, to touch, to emotions. He is an extreme perfectionist, and is becoming very negative with himself because he feels like he is never good enough. This is part of the issue I think - I ask him to do something, he thinks he can't do it so he digs his heels in. We deal with a lot of nightmares.


Anyway, I'm off to bed now. Hopefully I'll get up to a few more thoughts.

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