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Making up my mind


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I need advice. BTDT advice or just whatever you think, whether you've been there or not, I don't care. I just need input.

I may or may not delete later.

So I posted yesterday in my thread about going back to school that I filled out/submitted my FAFSA and I applied online to the college. I am kind of excited about this. I am also kind of scared and worried.

I couldn't get to sleep last night because I just kept wondering if I was making a HUGE mistake. I came out into the living room, and tried to sort everything out, etc, and I made this list on a piece of paper:

 

YES, I want to go back to school now because...

- it will help us financially in the long run (getting anywhere regarding moving, buying a house; being able to do more of the things I'd like to, particularly vacations and family trips; future stuff like retirement and insurance)

- it would be easier for me to go back to school first (than DH working 40 hours + going to school + being involved at church like we are. For him to go to school, it would be very taxing on all of us, I think, and I hate the thought of him having to give everything else up and just do work and school. :( The plan is for me to go to school now and work while he goes, cutting his hours back or even quitting altogether so he can focus and get done quicker.)

- I like school. (Self explanatory. The thought of classes and stuff, while a little stressful because I want to do well, is exciting to me. I love to learn.)

- I would like to be a respiratory therapist... someday (I don't know when. My biggest question with this is But do I want to do it RIGHT NOW? I also asked myself WHY I want to be an RT, and my answer was 'It is a job I can see myself doing and think I would enjoy.' I'm also operating under the assumption that, someday, no matter what, I would go and get a job. In the past I just always assumed it wouldn't be til the kids were out of school. Only in the last several months has it occurred to me to try to do it sooner.)

 

NO, I don't want to go back to school now because...

- The kids are here. At home. I LOVE what I do and am completely happy where I am. Homeschooling is still my #1 priority and getting them all through high school hsing is still my #1 goal.

- What will I miss out on? Will I still be able to dedicate the time I can now for field trips and activities? What about vacations? I say one of the reasons I would like to work is for the financial freedom to be able to do these things, but what good would it be if the kids are grown by the time it actually could happen? (Assuming it takes me, at 2-3 classes per semester so that I can still homeschool, 4ish years to complete. Then say DH goes for 2-3. By that time, by the time we are both working, etc, Link will be 15. Astro will be 13, Pink will be 10. I guess that leaves a few years.........)

- As the kids get older, things (school, activities, etc) may get more intense. Do I REALLY want to be working (even though I'm planning on night shift) when they are teenagers? Do I want to be working 3 nights a week from the time Pink is 7 and Link is 12?

Will the extra money matter in the grand scheme of things? Generally I don't worry about money much - I'm ok with being on the lower end and DH and I have never been the type to worry about having the latest stuff, or comparing with others. There is a point, however, where we will have to move out of this house (it's owned by DH's employer - a large nursing home facility - and they intend to tear it down in 5+ years to expand. We would also like to own a home, whether we build or buy it, and it's not something we could do on his current salary or anything he'll be earning in the future that we can foresee without a career change). We also need to be thinking about things like insurance and retirement. So while I don't place a high priority on money, I also want to be responsible with our future.

My biggest question is this:

Is the sacrifice - both now and later - too great??

 

Yes, I wrote all that down in the middle of the night last night. :) So does anyone have any advice to offer me? Do you think it will be too great of a sacrifice? Or do you think things will be just as good as they are now, or even better? How much sacrifice am I talking, here -- no vacations or anything for years? Or just carefully planning them around breaks and working hard to be able to take a little time off? (All the classes are distance learning with the exception of labs and clinicals, so that helps)

Thanks so much for those who made it this far. I'm just trying so hard to figure out the best course of action here.

 

ETA: Would it be irresponsible of me to try a couple of classes in the spring semester just to see how it goes? Part of me feels bad doing it at all if I might back out later. But then part of me is curious as to whether I'm blowing the negative aspects of it way out of proportion and it would actually work out fine. So I had thought about, since I already applied and submitted the FAFSA anyway (I figured that wouldn't hurt either way, at least I'll know what to expect regarding the FAFSA, and they said I couldn't talk to an academic advisor til I applied to get answers to some of my questions), just doing a couple of classes (there are some prereqs I need) to test the waters.

For some reason, I equate doing anything else with not being around as much as I'd like to be with the kids as they grow up. Note: I have been a SAHM since Link was born. It's very hard for me to think about missing anything at all.

Edited by PeacefulChaos
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I think you should give it a try, take one or two classes, and see how it goes.

Do you have to be on a strict schedule, or can you spread out classes and just take longer?

 

As the kids get older, school work gets more intense, but they also become more independent. I work 25-30 hours a week, at least 18 away from home. It makes organization a bit harder, but we are still able to homeschool.

 

Good luck with your decision. I'd really give it a shot - unless you try, you won't know whether you can do it or not.

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I can tell you that the RT program is a tough program. Many colleges who offer the program highly recommend NOT working fulltime while doing the program. It is intensive and with clinical hours you will need to be flexible.

 

Lots to consider. :)

 

:grouphug:

Thanks. :) Hopefully I can get everything to work out when clinical time comes - DH will still be working FT at the time, but I don't work at all (other than homeschooling ;) ) so it shouldn't be too awful. There may be times where we have to have DH use a day off or something, and we're ok with that.

DH would probably, when he gets his degree, be doing RN or something else healthcare related, but not RT. I know many of these are very intensive and that's why I really would prefer that he not go to school first. I feel like all of us would have a hard time with it, kwim?

I think you should give it a try, take one or two classes, and see how it goes.

Do you have to be on a strict schedule, or can you spread out classes and just take longer?

 

As the kids get older, school work gets more intense, but they also become more independent. I work 25-30 hours a week, at least 18 away from home. It makes organization a bit harder, but we are still able to homeschool.

 

Good luck with your decision. I'd really give it a shot - unless you try, you won't know whether you can do it or not.

This college is very flexible, thank goodness! Back when I was just looking around at the RT programs in the area, they said I could complete it over whatever time frame I needed, etc. There was another one that said 'You have to finish in 2 years, and classes are M-Th day classes only!' And I said 'Ok, thanks, bye!' :lol:

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Thanks. :) Hopefully I can get everything to work out when clinical time comes - DH will still be working FT at the time, but I don't work at all (other than homeschooling ;) ) so it shouldn't be too awful. There may be times where we have to have DH use a day off or something, and we're ok with that.

DH would probably, when he gets his degree, be doing RN or something else healthcare related, but not RT. I know many of these are very intensive and that's why I really would prefer that he not go to school first. I feel like all of us would have a hard time with it, kwim?

 

This college is very flexible, thank goodness! Back when I was just looking around at the RT programs in the area, they said I could complete it over whatever time frame I needed, etc. There was another one that said 'You have to finish in 2 years, and classes are M-Th day classes only!' And I said 'Ok, thanks, bye!' :lol:

 

I definilty think you should give it a go! You have nothing to lose :)

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Have you asked your kids how they feel about it? Are you feeling guilt because you think they will be sad? Will they have to go to school?

I wrestled with this a lot, but my situation is much different. My dh kept telling me he'd work at night (even though I'm the night person and he's the morning person) so that I could work days.

I was afraid the kids would be freaked out because of such a big change.

Actually, the freaker is me. I'm the one who is struggling with the change and we haven't even started anything yet! I'm glad we got that out of the way. My kids are fine and happy with our plan.

Please look at your future. Things aren't the way they used to be for a lot of families. Consider that your dh could lose his job, or your family could be kicked out sooner than you think. How will you pay for your next residence?

I really wish I would have gotten a better education. I'm no longer a spring chicken!:tongue_smilie:

Go for it! Take college in small bites. Keep your kids home if you can. Put your family first.

There's a thread about intuition. If you're feeling that this is something you should probably get started on, then do it.;)

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Have you asked your kids how they feel about it? Are you feeling guilt because you think they will be sad? Will they have to go to school?

I wrestled with this a lot, but my situation is much different. My dh kept telling me he'd work at night (even though I'm the night person and he's the morning person) so that I could work days.

I was afraid the kids would be freaked out because of such a big change.

Actually, the freaker is me. I'm the one who is struggling with the change and we haven't even started anything yet! I'm glad we got that out of the way. My kids are fine and happy with our plan.

Please look at your future. Things aren't the way they used to be for a lot of families. Consider that your dh could lose his job, or your family could be kicked out sooner than you think. How will you pay for your next residence?

I really wish I would have gotten a better education. I'm no longer a spring chicken!:tongue_smilie:

Go for it! Take college in small bites. Keep your kids home if you can. Put your family first.

There's a thread about intuition. If you're feeling that this is something you should probably get started on, then do it.;)

 

I haven't told the kids yet because I haven't decided for sure, and I'd prefer to have as few people as possible know IRL. I don't think they would be sad - it really wouldn't change much of anything for them, I don't think.

They wouldn't have to go back to school. If they did, I wouldn't be going, period. Them going to school is NOT an option.

Obviously, anything could happen, but DH probably won't be losing his job. The flip side of that is that unless his supervisor decides to spontaneously retire (no word of that happening anytime in the foreseeable future), he has no way to move up, either. We also will know well in advance before having to move out because we know the CEO (who has told DH it will be a few more years yet), they just built a new building (finished it a little over a year ago), they have frozen raises and everything because of costs and such (meaning there are no building projects in the anywhere-near future), and they don't even own all the property around us yet. So I'm not worried about them coming along one day and things changing. :)

 

It's the middle of the night here, and once again I can't sleep. I looked through the schedule and saw just how many labs and clinicals it is...whew. If I do 2-3 classes per semester, I will graduate in May of 2017.

Idk, part of me (a large part, right now - it's like once bedtime comes this part of me is what I hear the most) just thinks it isn't worth it. That I don't want to do it, and I'm happy the way things are. I know things have to change, financially, and I hate to place the burden on DH but at this moment that just seems like the best thing to do.

I may change my mind again tomorrow, when the sun is out, like I thought it would be worth a try today. Thing is, the first semester wouldn't really be similar to those last few with clinicals. So even trying it out for a semester wouldn't necessarily be proof that it's all well and good, kwim?

It's funny - as far as classes, and the work, and all that, I could do it. I'm sure I could. I just don't know if I want to do it with it taking time away from my family. The college is an hour away, in the city. So every lab I would have to go to would be 2 hours driving time. Everything is just beginning to look like a little more work than it's worth.

Part of me thinks, but I should do this so that I have something to fall back on, should (God forbid) something ever happen to DH. But still, I wouldn't be done til over 4 years from now.

Assuming I went, and DH then went, by the time we both had jobs in the field we are looking at, Link would be 16. The things I'd like to do with the kids are sooner than that. What's the point of making enough money to take nice vacations if my kids are too old to enjoy them?

Idk. I'm just sort of meh about it all right now. Part of me feels like my inability to sleep and my inner turmoil about this decision is God's way of telling me that it isn't right.

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