was I right, or just a hormonal witch?

[ktgrok]

Today we had a group tour set up at the local art museum. It was for our homeschool group, that I started, that is grades 6-9. The main focus was to be on John Rocco's work, the illustrator for the Percy Jackson books. My son read every one of those books and said he wanted to go. We get there and all the girls are paying attention, sitting on the floor as they were asked to do (there were also bean bags for those that wanted them), listening. My son, and the other 2 boys there, were standing up across the room, chatting amongst themselves. I told them that was rude, to please stop. They did it again, and again and again, each time me telling them to please pay attention, or at least look at the art silently, but please don't chat.

 

This did not work. I was getting upset, and also dealing with my 2 year old. Oh, and today is my due date, my husband's birthday, and just full with stuff to get done. I'm here for him to see this guys artwork and learn something. But he is "bored". One of the other moms says "oh, I told the boys it would be ok to just wander the museum since they are bored." I looked at my son and said he needed to stay in this room, and he was welcome to look at the art in here, and there was no need to wander to other rooms at this time. He started to argue, and so did the mom, because the boys were "bored.". I stopped arguing (as again, I think conversing while the tour guide is speaking is rude), and just said, then we are leaving. And we did.

 

I took my now sullen teen and my two year old and my swollen feet and left. We went to the grocery store and got stuff i needed and now are home.

 

To me, if you go as a group, have a tour guide, etc you stay with the group. If you are "bored' well, sorry. It isn't all day, please at least look respectful and keep your mouth shut while you daydream. It won't kill you. Besides, the gallery we were in was the whole reason we came to tsee that one artist.

 

Was I wrong? Were they being rude?

[Lisa R.]

Yes, the boys were rude. But isn't it also rude to leave in the middle of the guide's presentation?

[Mabeline]

:iagree: You do not have a conversation when someone else is speaking.

[PeacefulChaos]

Today we had a group tour set up at the local art museum. It was for our homeschool group, that I started, that is grades 6-9. The main focus was to be on John Rocco's work, the illustrator for the Percy Jackson books. My son read every one of those books and said he wanted to go. We get there and all the girls are paying attention, sitting on the floor as they were asked to do (there were also bean bags for those that wanted them), listening. My son, and the other 2 boys there, were standing up across the room, chatting amongst themselves. I told them that was rude, to please stop. They did it again, and again and again, each time me telling them to please pay attention, or at least look at the art silently, but please don't chat.

 

This did not work. I was getting upset, and also dealing with my 2 year old. Oh, and today is my due date, my husband's birthday, and just full with stuff to get done. I'm here for him to see this guys artwork and learn something. But he is "bored". One of the other moms says "oh, I told the boys it would be ok to just wander the museum since they are bored." I looked at my son and said he needed to stay in this room, and he was welcome to look at the art in here, and there was no need to wander to other rooms at this time. He started to argue, and so did the mom, because the boys were "bored.". I stopped arguing (as again, I think conversing while the tour guide is speaking is rude), and just said, then we are leaving. And we did.

 

I took my now sullen teen and my two year old and my swollen feet and left. We went to the grocery store and got stuff i needed and now are home.

 

To me, if you go as a group, have a tour guide, etc you stay with the group. If you are "bored' well, sorry. It isn't all day, please at least look respectful and keep your mouth shut while you daydream. It won't kill you. Besides, the gallery we were in was the whole reason we came to tsee that one artist.

 

Was I wrong? Were they being rude?

 

Nope, you aren't wrong. ITA with you. :)

[Bluegoat]

I think you were right in that situation - your son said he wanted to go. By that age kids are old enough to sit through something that is not as interesting as they thought it would be in order to be polite. If he had been there mostly because a sibling was there or it was something you wanted to do, it might be ok to let him look at other things.

 

But absolutely no chatting during a lecture. Or getting up in the middle and wandering away looking bored.

 

Do you think he felt a bit self-conscious about being the only boy who was actually listening to the lecture?

[ktgrok]

Yes, the boys were rude. But isn't it also rude to leave in the middle of the guide's presentation?

 

Yes, and I do feel badly about that, but it seemed better than staying and continuing to argue.

[Amy in NH]

To me, if you go as a group, have a tour guide, etc you stay with the group. If you are "bored' well, sorry. It isn't all day, please at least look respectful and keep your mouth shut while you daydream. It won't kill you. Besides, the gallery we were in was the whole reason we came to tsee that one artist.

 

Was I wrong? Were they being rude?

 

:iagree: You weren't wrong, they were being rude. And you handled it properly by leaving when you did. Great job, Mom!

[linders]

You were right to be upset, and yes he (and the other boys) was rude.

 

For that age, I might have quietly mentioned a significant loss of priveleges before actually leaving, but if that did not work, we'd be gone.

[abbeyej]

You were more patient with your son than I would have been with mine. :) I think you showed admirable restraint. (And that other mother?!?!?!? Ack!)

[myfunnybunch]

To me, if you go as a group, have a tour guide, etc you stay with the group. If you are "bored' well, sorry. It isn't all day, please at least look respectful and keep your mouth shut while you daydream. It won't kill you.

 

:iagree: You are absolutely right, and leaving was an appropriate consequence.

 

As for the other mom.... :001_huh: Really? I can't imagine arguing with another parent over their expectations even if I disagree. Or, for that matter, believing that my child's boredom entitles them to behave rudely.

 

Cat

[ktgrok]

thanks everyone! It seemed obvious to me how to behave, but I'm expecting flack from the other moms. I just think this is how homeschoolers get a bad reputation. I do think he was trying to be "cool" by hanging with the other boys. Tough. It isn't cool to be rude, and as I told him, he is not to special to sit through a discussion on how illustrators make a book, etc.

[fraidycat]

Nope, not wrong.

 

It is also not rude to leave during the presentation if your child was interrupting said presentation. It doesn't matter if the child is 2 or 16 - if they are misbehaving and causing the people who are actually trying to listen to be distracted, then they need to be removed.

[elegantlion]

thanks everyone! It seemed obvious to me how to behave, but I'm expecting flack from the other moms. I just think this is how homeschoolers get a bad reputation. I do think he was trying to be "cool" by hanging with the other boys. Tough. It isn't cool to be rude, and as I told him, he is not to special to sit through a discussion on how illustrators make a book, etc.

 

It's rude to talk during a presentation. It's rude to expect that you will be "entertained" by everything you go to do. It's rude to argue with your mother in public, especially when she is 40 wks pregnant.

 

It is rude to leave, but it is less rude than staying and continuing to disrupte the entire presentation, so you did the right thing, imo.

 

This is part of the "world does not revolve around you" training for our children. I don't make rules for other parents, but I expect to be able to listen to a presenter, not others, when I attend something. It's called manners, seriously not that difficult.

 

I remember in elementary school we had someone come in and the students were awful. I was embarrassed, the teachers kept sushing the students. The presentation was interesting and I was trying to pay attention. Finally the presenter stopped and said he wouldn't continue until people started paying attention. He was beyond annoyed.

Edited September 7, 2012 by elegantlion

[mchel210]

No...that is not wrong of you to leave. I also appreciate when a parent realizes their child is interrupting the presentation and addresses it with their child. It takes a lot to actually get up and just leave the event...but it sometimes works better in the long run on enforcing that you are serious when you give a warning.

 

Thank you from another mom that would have done exactly the same thing. :D

[Miss Marple]

You were fine. This is why I quit going to most of our homeschool field trips. It was so embarrassing to me to be part of a group where the kids were so poorly trained and the moms expected so little of their students.

 

And, I discovered that my boys behavior declined when they were around the "bored" sort. So we just opted out and did our own thing or did field trips with a handpicked group of well behaved kids and moms.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

It's rude to talk during a presentation. It's rude to expect that you will be "entertained" by everything you go to do. It's rude to argue with your mother in public, especially when she is 40 wks pregnant.

 

It is rude to leave, but it is less rude than staying and continuing to disrupte the entire presentation.

 

This is part of the "world does not revolve around you" training. I don't make rules for other parents, but I expect to be able to listen to a presenter, not others, when I attend something. It's called manners, seriously not that difficult.

 

 

 

WSS. Well put, Paula.

[helena]

Right on mom!!

 

I thought my days of leaving somewhere abruptly because of poor behavior were over??!! At least it won't be at the market with them frothing at the mouth over sugar cereal! :tongue_smilie: Will it?? :001_smile:

 

Hope you can relax today and turn the day around. :grouphug:

[SorrelZG]

By the point at which you left, I would have been more bothered by the other mother intruding into the discourse I was having my child.

[MariannNOVA]

I would have done the same thing, and you weren't rude.

 

I think that I have had to leave an event just once with my kids -- b/c of inappropriate behavior -- they never forgot it.

 

I applaud you!:hurray::hurray::hurray:

[Soror]

It's rude to talk during a presentation. It's rude to expect that you will be "entertained" by everything you go to do. It's rude to argue with your mother in public, especially when she is 40 wks pregnant.

 

It is rude to leave, but it is less rude than staying and continuing to disrupte the entire presentation, so you did the right thing, imo.

 

This is part of the "world does not revolve around you" training for our children. I don't make rules for other parents, but I expect to be able to listen to a presenter, not others, when I attend something. It's called manners, seriously not that difficult.

 

I remember in elementary school we had someone come in and the students were awful. I was embarrassed, the teachers kept sushing the students. The presentation was interesting and I was trying to pay attention. Finally the presenter stopped and said he wouldn't continue until people started paying attention. He was beyond annoyed.

:iagree:

I would've been annoyed with my kid and the mom.

[Remudamom]

She probably appreciated you taking your son out. You were right, that's rude.

[Pink Fairy]

Under those conditions, I think you deserve a medal for handling it the way you did. I don't know if I could have been so level-headed at 40 weeks pregnant.

[Mommy22alyns]

No, you're not wrong. They were rude and I would have taken him out too.

[sweetTN]

Today we had a group tour set up at the local art museum. It was for our homeschool group, that I started, that is grades 6-9. The main focus was to be on John Rocco's work, the illustrator for the Percy Jackson books. My son read every one of those books and said he wanted to go. We get there and all the girls are paying attention, sitting on the floor as they were asked to do (there were also bean bags for those that wanted them), listening. My son, and the other 2 boys there, were standing up across the room, chatting amongst themselves. I told them that was rude, to please stop. They did it again, and again and again, each time me telling them to please pay attention, or at least look at the art silently, but please don't chat.

 

This did not work. I was getting upset, and also dealing with my 2 year old. Oh, and today is my due date, my husband's birthday, and just full with stuff to get done. I'm here for him to see this guys artwork and learn something. But he is "bored". One of the other moms says "oh, I told the boys it would be ok to just wander the museum since they are bored." I looked at my son and said he needed to stay in this room, and he was welcome to look at the art in here, and there was no need to wander to other rooms at this time. He started to argue, and so did the mom, because the boys were "bored.". I stopped arguing (as again, I think conversing while the tour guide is speaking is rude), and just said, then we are leaving. And we did.

 

I took my now sullen teen and my two year old and my swollen feet and left. We went to the grocery store and got stuff i needed and now are home.

 

To me, if you go as a group, have a tour guide, etc you stay with the group. If you are "bored' well, sorry. It isn't all day, please at least look respectful and keep your mouth shut while you daydream. It won't kill you. Besides, the gallery we were in was the whole reason we came to tsee that one artist.

 

Was I wrong? Were they being rude?

 

 

The bolded part is what struck me. He wanted to go so you took him. I'd remind him of his poor behavior the next time he wants you to take him somewhere. And it would be awhile before he was taken anywhere! Leaving was the right thing to do, for your son and the group.

[QuirkyKapers]

No, I don't think you were rude. It is interesting the other parent argued with you in regards to your son leaving. I would have been upset about that too.

Edited September 8, 2012 by QuirkyKapers

[Elizabeth in MN]

It was rude of the boys to talk, and it was rude of the other mother to interrupt with your parenting of your child. Unless you were beating him with a two by four, then she has every right to interrupt.

[staceyobu]

I think you were fine.

 

However, even if you had cursed everyone and stormed out while tearing art off the walls, I would have completely excused your behavior based solely on the fact that today is your due date and you aren't in labor.

 

Stacey (who thought she would have a nervous breakdown when #4 decided to come a leisurely 14 days late :glare:)

[Rebel Yell]

:iagree: You are absolutely right, and leaving was an appropriate consequence.

 

As for the other mom.... :001_huh: Really? I can't imagine arguing with another parent over their expectations even if I disagree. Or, for that matter, believing that my child's boredom entitles them to behave rudely.

 

Cat

:iagree:

 

And the mother who was undermining your parenting? Oh my goodness- if it was me she did that to my response to her would make national headlines. :glare:

[GWOB]

You deserve a medal for not smacking the other mom. Seriously? She was really arguing with a 40wks pregnant woman about parenting choices? Really?

 

And you did the right thing. I would have been mortified if my kids acted that way. I would have hauled them out of there in a heartbeat. I cannot stand it when kids misbehave during presentations. I am "that mom" in the corner giving her kids the stink-eye during presentations if they even move too much. You were showing your son that he needs to respect both you and the person who is giving their time and energy to educate others. It is always ok to teach your kids how to show respect to other people.

[Melinda in VT]

You did the right thing.

 

Although I find it rude to walk out of the middle of a presentation, it's not rude if you are doing so to remove an ongoing distraction.

 

:cheers2: for good parenting.

[justamouse]

I would have done the same--or at least pulled him by his ear to another room and yelled up and down. I don't care what other parents let their kids do, that was beyond rude, on his part, but also the other mothers!!

[curlylocks]

You weren't wrong, they were being rude. And you handled it properly by leaving when you did. Great job, Mom!

 

:iagree: -- and does anyone else find it strange that the other Mom felt it was OK to make a decision like that for someone else's child? (and argue about it in front of the 3 boys...)

[Chris in VA]

thanks everyone! It seemed obvious to me how to behave, but I'm expecting flack from the other moms. I just think this is how homeschoolers get a bad reputation. I do think he was trying to be "cool" by hanging with the other boys. Tough. It isn't cool to be rude, and as I told him, he is not to special to sit through a discussion on how illustrators make a book, etc.

 

:iagree: esp the bolded part. ESPECIALLY as they get older, I think the expectations should ramp up, and people should stop making excuses (he's bored! for example) and start requiring kids to do what they should whether they feel like it or not.

[ktgrok]

I would have done the same thing, and you weren't rude.

 

I think that I have had to leave an event just once with my kids -- b/c of inappropriate behavior -- they never forgot it.

 

I applaud you!:hurray::hurray::hurray:

 

thanks...yeah..I don't think he will forget this. This was our first field trip of the year, and I think I've set a precedent so he will behave the rest of the year. I think if I had stayed and let him do his own thing I would have been fighting that the rest of the year.

[Myeightkiddies]

You did the right thing. The only thing that you may have done differently was to leave after telling them the second time. At that age, telling a teen once is enough. You shouldn't have to three times. Tell them once, and if they do it again, leave.

 

:grouphug:

[cindergretta]

There are so many things wrong in that OP that it blows my mind! A teen aged child asking to go to something and then behaving like a twerp, a way pregnant mom taking not only that child but also a toddler when she has other things to do, not the least of which is getting off her feet and meditating for labor to start, another mom sticking her nose into a parenting situation that wasn't threatening or dangerous... Oy!!!!

 

You did the right thing! Now, I think your dear son has some letters of apology to write - to the presenter for being rude during the presentation and then having to leave and to his mother for being completely inconsiderate of her when she did what *very extremely few* of us would ever even consider doing at 40 weeks pregnant!!!!!

 

:grouphug:

[Susan C.]

Its been awhile, but at 40 weeks, all I was good for was waddling around the house not any more than I had to. You have my permission to park it!!!

 

Hope your little one comes soon!

[Harriet Vane]

I am in firm agreement with you Katie.

 

You don't talk when the guide is talking. You pay attention.

 

And I would have NO mercy on another mother who told MY kid, in my presence, that he did not have to pay attention to the educational activity we are involved in.

 

I don't really care if the kid is bored.

[fraidycat]

There are so many things wrong in that OP that it blows my mind! A teen aged child asking to go to something and then behaving like a twerp, a way pregnant mom taking not only that child but also a toddler when she has other things to do, not the least of which is getting off her feet and meditating for labor to start, another mom sticking her nose into a parenting situation that wasn't threatening or dangerous... Oy!!!!

 

You did the right thing! Now, I think your dear son has some letters of apology to write - to the presenter for being rude during the presentation and then having to leave and to his mother for being completely inconsiderate of her when she did what *very extremely few* of us would ever even consider doing at 40 weeks pregnant!!!!!

 

:grouphug:

 

Good idea on the apology letters!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am in firm agreement with you Katie.

 

You don't talk when the guide is talking. You pay attention.

 

And I would have NO mercy on another mother who told MY kid, in my presence, that he did not have to pay attention to the educational activity we are involved in.

 

I don't really care if the kid is bored.

 

:iagree:

[kiwi3129]

By the point at which you left, I would have been more bothered by the other mother intruding into the discourse I was having my child.

:iagree:

[Catwoman]

You were right.

 

The other mother was an idiot.

[VeritasMama]

I would have done the same thing, I think that talking through the presentation is more of an insult than leaving. The other mother is teaching her children that it is appropriate to be rude and inattentive to others as long as you are "bored," what a terrible lesson.

[LisaBoo]

:iagree:

:iagree: You weren't wrong, they were being rude. And you handled it properly by leaving when you did. Great job, Mom!

[jujsky]

Today we had a group tour set up at the local art museum. It was for our homeschool group, that I started, that is grades 6-9. The main focus was to be on John Rocco's work, the illustrator for the Percy Jackson books. My son read every one of those books and said he wanted to go. We get there and all the girls are paying attention, sitting on the floor as they were asked to do (there were also bean bags for those that wanted them), listening. My son, and the other 2 boys there, were standing up across the room, chatting amongst themselves. I told them that was rude, to please stop. They did it again, and again and again, each time me telling them to please pay attention, or at least look at the art silently, but please don't chat.

 

This did not work. I was getting upset, and also dealing with my 2 year old. Oh, and today is my due date, my husband's birthday, and just full with stuff to get done. I'm here for him to see this guys artwork and learn something. But he is "bored". One of the other moms says "oh, I told the boys it would be ok to just wander the museum since they are bored." I looked at my son and said he needed to stay in this room, and he was welcome to look at the art in here, and there was no need to wander to other rooms at this time. He started to argue, and so did the mom, because the boys were "bored.". I stopped arguing (as again, I think conversing while the tour guide is speaking is rude), and just said, then we are leaving. And we did.

 

I took my now sullen teen and my two year old and my swollen feet and left. We went to the grocery store and got stuff i needed and now are home.

 

To me, if you go as a group, have a tour guide, etc you stay with the group. If you are "bored' well, sorry. It isn't all day, please at least look respectful and keep your mouth shut while you daydream. It won't kill you. Besides, the gallery we were in was the whole reason we came to tsee that one artist.

 

Was I wrong? Were they being rude?

 

Yes, you did the right thing. You're a good mom. I wouldn't have stood for that behavior either. Oh, and I would have been ticked beyond belief if that other mother tried to argue with me!

Edited September 7, 2012 by jujsky

[SorrelZG]

I'm still amazed that you were even out at all at 40wks but I've never made it that long and the last three have been precipitous births. .. Talk about interrupting a presentation.

[SorrelZG]

I think you were fine.

 

However, even if you had cursed everyone and stormed out while tearing art off the walls, I would have completely excused your behavior based solely on the fact that today is your due date and you aren't in labor.

 

Stacey (who thought she would have a nervous breakdown when #4 decided to come a leisurely 14 days late :glare:)

 

I'm sorry for the suffering (of you both) but you made me giggle. :D

[Kirch]

Nope, not wrong.

 

It is also not rude to leave during the presentation if your child was interrupting said presentation. It doesn't matter if the child is 2 or 16 - if they are misbehaving and causing the people who are actually trying to listen to be distracted, then they need to be removed.

 

Yep. I also cannot believe the nerve of the other mom! It would have been really hard not to give her what for and tell her to button out. But then I'd have to write my own apology letter to the guide.:tongue_smilie:

[ktgrok]

Yep. I also cannot believe the nerve of the other mom! It would have been really hard not to give her what for and tell her to button out. But then I'd have to write my own apology letter to the guide.:tongue_smilie:

 

It will probably not surprise anyone if I say that mom has been difficult to work with in the past.

[catz]

It will probably not surprise anyone if I say that mom has been difficult to work with in the past.

 

Ok - I'm not surprised at all. Who tells a 9 month old pregnant woman how to parent her child? Hello - ask her what the heck you can do to help her.

 

ITA with you. The other mom was WAY out of line. And she probably shouldn't come on tours and just hit the museum on her own if they aren't up for it. Obnoxious.