Can we talk about your decision to HS?

[mumztheword]

My application to join the fun here was approved last week ... ;) Thing is, I'm still struggling with taking the actual plunge into HSing. So here's the scene:

 

DS just turned 5. He's quiet and sensitive, a very sweet little boy, a little quirky too, definitely marches to his own drum. He started Montessori school at 3.5, and we did that for just over a year and a half. We pulled him last March from Montessori b/c he was miserable. He seemed to be OK while he was there (the teachers never alerted me to any problems -- but admitted that he's the type that is easily overlooked as he doesn't draw attention to himself), and I did go in for several observations to try and figure out what was going on. He was fine there... but at home, he was a mess. He said he hated school. He said he'd be happy if he never went back, etc. etc. So we pulled him, and within weeks he had started to go back to that happy sweet kid that we remembered.

 

Now he's on the verge of going to K at the local public school. Great school district -- we moved here for the schools (that's before I started thinking of HSing him). In our 2-block neighborhood, there are 5 other kids that will be starting K. Life in the neighborhood and the whole town revolves around the schools. No one could understand us putting him in Montessori -- I'm sure they'd be appalled at the idea of HSing. (BTW, I finally, after searching and searching, found one other family who is pulling their 9yo daughter out of a different elementary school in this town -- but that's it for HSers around here).

 

DH isn't interested in the idea of HSing, but after spending so much of my time researching it I think he's willing to at least read up on it some. I can likely talk him into letting me "hold him back" from K for this upcoming year, but HSing indefinitely will take a lot of convincing.

 

And it's hard to do that convincing when I'm still a bit torn up about it. On the one hand, I can't imagine sending my sweet little boy into a den of 24-25 other kids, where he's already proven that he's easily overlooked and he's intimitated by bigger, louder, faster kids. On the other hand, he's in a little camp this week for kids going into K and he's really enjoying that.

 

What to do, what to do? I waiver between keeping him home for as long as humanly possible (take it one year at a time), or sending him to PS with the agreement that if we start to lose him again we will pull him out to HS him.

 

Anyone else BTDT?

[milovany]

I would start with the mindset "We will start homeschooling and if *that* doesn't work out, then we could always consider public -- or private -- school" instead of the other way around (putting him in ps and then pulling him if it doesn't seem beneficial). I think with the reading, etc. you've done you know there are huge plusses to homeschooling -- why not pursue those and pursue the things on your heart before going the status quo route?

 

Congratulations!!!!!

[Remudamom]

It was my dh's idea. He was on the school board when our oldest was about four, and came home announcing that we were not sending our baby into that snake nest.

 

I laughed at him....where's he going to go then? And just about passed out when he mentioned homeschooling. No way, I can't do that. Then he pointed out that I was certified to teach a whole roomful of the little darlings by the state, and I could handle our (at that point) one.

 

He was right. Ours have never gone anywhere but here, and I can't imagine anything else. We have fun doing our own thing at our own time.

 

We drive by the school in our little town, watching the little prisoners unloading from the yellows and I ask "Anyone want to get off here??" No takers so far. Other popular shoutings are "Death to Tyrants", and

"FREEEEEEDOOOOM!!!"

 

Don't anyone get offended, it's all in good fun. I know lots of perfectly happy, well adjusted, grown into lovely adults, public schooled kids. And I know some great PS teachers too. It's just Not. For. Us.

[Beth in Central TX]

We decided to homeschool after reading The Well-Trained Mind. Would your husband read this book? My husband read it first, so he was the one who actually talked about homeschooling our boys first. I was definitely on board after reading TWTM too.

[KS_]

I would start with the mindset "We will start homeschooling and if *that* doesn't work out, then we could always consider public -- or private -- school" instead of the other way around (putting him in ps and then pulling him if it doesn't seem beneficial). I think with the reading, etc. you've done you know there are huge plusses to homeschooling -- why not pursue those and pursue the things on your heart before going the status quo route?

 

Congratulations!!!!!

 

I agree . . .I would not put your son into the public school K if he had problems in the Montessori school. Public school was really hard on me - I'm introverted and as a child was very, very shy. School was just so difficult and didn't do anything for my self esteem. When my son was little and I saw the same very shy tendencies, I was even more determined to homeschool him. We never pushed him socially and he went from wanting to crawl into the floor when he met new people shy, to being very self assured and able to handle new situations and new people with confidence (and I was *not* that way at his age). Keeping him home was definitely the best decision for us!

[Kay in Cal]

While both dh and I were interested in homeschooling, we had never really met any homeschoolers before we had kids. It was reading WTM that convinced me that this was IT for our family. We've never lived in a neighborhood with other homeschoolers, though there are many group opportunities in our region.

 

I think our friends (all, like us, fairly highly educated people) thought we were somewhat crazy, and their kids have all gone off to school. Now one of those same friends is pulling thier daughter out of school to homeschool this coming year, and looking to us for advice. Lol!

 

When the homeschooling issue comes up, it seems I am more likely to get the response "Wow, I wish we could do that..." than anything negative.

 

In general: Your choices need to be best for you and your family. The opinions of the rest of the world simply aren't relevant to the needs of your children.

[Amy loves Bud]

We just kind of found ourselves homeschooling and never stopped. I don't think we ever said one day that "We are homeschooling." And we've always said that our educational journey is year-by-year, case-by-case. If it's working and everyone is happy and thriving, then we'll continue. If not we need to reevaluate and consider our options.

 

And that is my biggest piece of advice to you. You don't need to think about what's going to happen years down the road. Just think about your son, right now, and where he will thrive right now. Don't borrow trouble by worrying about what will happen next year. That will make the decision easier for you.

 

And, as far as your husband, if he is anything like mine, once he *sees* homeschooling in action - the only other person in the world who loves his children like he does pouring herself into their education - he'll be completely conviinced. My initially skeptical DH is now homeschooling's biggest advocate.

 

Good luck with the decision. If you decide to hs, you will find a lot of wonderful support here.

[Peek a Boo]

I homeschool for social reasons --i can't stand the social carp that goes on in schools. Stuff that is deemed as "oh, that's just how kids are" and "but how will he learn to stand up to bullies if he never experiences that?" Sorry! well, no i'm not, lol.

 

I decided I didn't want any part of the public school social scene pretty early on. One book that clenched it for me was when a friend started reading Best Friends Worst Enemies: Understanding the social lives of children. Ironically, that book was written to HELP parents understand and cope w/ the social problems in the schools [public and private], but when they mentioned that they could see how homeschooling could help avoid the daily onslaught of social isolation, negative peer pressure, bullying, etc, that just reinforced my decision.

 

i know that my kids are not being raised in a bubble: everytime we get together w/ other kids, there will always be some issues that crop up. But at least we are avoiding the DAILY torture: that kind of environment will desensitize kids to injustice.

 

You can read more great stuff academically at Stanford's site

http://www.stanford.edu/dept/uga/applying/extras/1_2a4_homeschooled.html

 

and from John Taylor Gatto:

 

http://www.johntaylorgatto.com/aboutus/john.htm

 

[just read HIS bio and see if he's qualified to make an assessment of teh education system, lol]

 

ALSO: leave your sweet little guy w/ a friend and go observe for a whole day at the local school. Pay attention to the older classes as well. Do that next year when you're waffling too ;)

 

good luck!

[Dayle in Guatemala]

It wasn't my idea to homeschool, it was my dh's. He wanted to, I didn't. But, after praying about it a while, we decided it was something we would do.

 

I've loved it. It's been good for my dc and our family. I love that I can decide when to teach them something (Shakespeare, for instance, can be enjoyed when they are younger and doesn't need to be saved for high school) and when to hold back. I love that I can teach them based on how they learn and not try to fit a square peg into a round hole. I love that when my ds was struggling with his reading, we could really slow down and take the time to do it right and not rush him through to keep up with the others, or, send him to a special class where he could be forever labled by teachers and peers.

 

It's been good for us to have the flexibility of being able to school year round so we can enjoy days when we do other things (ie: holidays, field trips, vacations, sickness, family time).

 

That's been our advantages. But, to be honest, I wouldn't have started this journey if my dh hadn't been on board. There have been too many times I really needed him to keep me focused without telling me, "This is your thing. I didn't really support this. We can always send them to school."

[GSMP]

It wasn't my idea to home school either. It was my husband's and our children were in a private Christian school. Imagine they were having issues that disturbed my husband. No school is perfect thought, whether it be public or private.

 

Anyway...you said that you could hold your son back from starting PS this year. I would do that and then homeschool him through K at home. See how you do and how he blossoms and show your husband.

 

This will give you both time and your husband further to research the home schooling issue.

 

After reading Raising Cain I am so glad I pulled my boys out of that mess. If nothing else get that book and have your husband read it along with Well Trained Mind. He may never allow his son near a public school.

 

Go with your gut.....He's your little boy....just help your husband to understand.

 

I wish you the best.....and hope you can reach a decision that will please you both and keep your little guy happy.

[mumztheword]

I homeschool for social reasons --i can't stand the social carp that goes on in schools. Stuff that is deemed as "oh, that's just how kids are" and "but how will he learn to stand up to bullies if he never experiences that?"

 

I'm totally with you! My neighbor, who also has a 5yo son, told me about an incident where her son was so excited to see a slightly older boy (1st grade), that he gave him a quick kiss on the shoulder. The 1st grader slapped him across the face! And to top it off, the neighbor's comment about her son being slapped was "well, he's got to learn that you just can't kiss all of your friends." Very sad to me.

 

And as for going to the school to observe for a day -- they won't let me. That's what drives me INSANE about the schools here. We're supposed to pack him off and ship him to the school, and the extend of our parental "involvement" is to do fund-raising or participate on PTA committees. They don't encourage classroom volunteering or visits (aside from the occasional book reading or whatever), because "it's not fair to the children of the parents who have to work full time." I asked for an observation when we were deciding about Montessori or not, and they flatly refused.

 

And thank you for the BEAUTIFUL quote, Kay in Cal: The opinions of the rest of the world simply aren't relevant to the needs of your children. I'm going to print that rather large and post it above my screen. And maybe in the kitchen, bath and next to the TV.

 

Amy Loves Bud: I love this one. You don't need to think about what's going to happen years down the road. Just think about your son, right now, and where he will thrive right now. I'll post that with the other one too. I try so hard to live our lives according to what is happening now, but it's so hard when the decisions seem just so BIG.

 

GSMP: I'm reading Raising Cain now. I read TWTM, and that's what really pushed me over the edge to think that I really can/need to do this. I've also read some Gatto and others. I'm giving my DH a reading list soon that includes Family Matters, parts of TWTM, and some recent articles from the Boston Globe on how HSing is becoming more mainstream. I do hope to convince him to let me keep him home next year, and then show him how we can all blossom and benefit from it.

 

Anyone else with suggestions on how to convert an extremely skeptical DH?

[Jen500]

This has been our experience- but I think everyone has to decide what will work best for their own family.

My boys hated pre-school. Before starting K they attended a summer camp and they loved it. Then they attended K at our ps and they had a wonderful teacher. They also had the same teacher for 1st grade. They loved school and were eager and learning a lot. I was infrequent contact with their teacher and spent time in the classroom. She was able to accomodate a variety of different students and she understood my son's needs. But by 2nd grade they had a new teacher and were so miserable that we finally decided to homeschool. I guess for us, the teacher made a huge difference.

[Mommy22alyns]

I never thought we would HS. As the K deadline got closer and closer, I just got the cold sweats thinking about sending Becca into ps. The silliest thing made me realize that HS was not its stereotype, and I began to look into it seriously.

 

Someone recommended TWTM to me, and when I read it, it clicked. I started thinking through all the pros and cons of HS vs. ps, and it didn't take long for DH to understand exactly what I was saying. He realized pretty quickly that (for us) there were basically no pros for ps'ing.

 

I've felt torn when I see Becca in art classes or gymnastics, or other activities with kids her age. She's a social, outgoing, lively and vivacious little girl. What am I doing keeping her out of kindergarten? But the truth is, even if K was going to be like that all the time (which may not be the case), the rest of school probably wouldn't. I want Becca to be herself. I don't want her to cut corners to try and wedge herself into the box of popular opinion, social acceptability, or anything else. She marches to the beat of her own drum as well, and we want to keep it that way.

 

We live in a small town, and I've already been surprised at how frequently I hear HS talk. And even if we were the only ones... I've said it before, but it's amazing what you can do when you are firmly convinced that it's in your child's best interest. :001_smile:

[LauraGB]

I'll admit it - I tried 2 different schools (neither public) after my dc were done with Montessori (well, one was during thier stint there). The first lasted 1 month and, a year later one lasted until Thanksgiving. In the first instance, I found it difficult to talk to teachers and admin, or rather, to have them listen (it seems I had no problems talking to them). In the 2nd, ds had serious trouble handling the organized classroom situation (which is vastly different from the Montessori method, as you know) and the admin's approach to this was less than pleasant. In both cases, it really came down to my dc being bored out of thier skulls sitting through the relearning of material they had already covered and understood. This caused some less than pleasant behavior on dc's parts and an inability to understand and fix the problem on the teacher's parts. But, I digress - that's another thread;).

 

When they were still at the Montessori, their teacher had warned us about this being a problem for a lot of students who graduated her class and we should be prepared. Had I not left to try a new school (the first one), I would not have understood what she meant. THAT is when I started to research hs. Dh...well, he just laughed and said I was nuts and that was all he expected from that. But, everytime I found some new info, I would share it and we would discuss it almost philosophically. Dh is not much of a reader, so I gave him bits of info in spurts - printing things from various websites was helpful here, reading excerpts from various books, including WTM. Then came the 2nd school. By the time October was over, he was asking if I thought I could really do this hs thing. I think had we not had such a ridiculously bad situation at the last school, he most certainly would not have been convinced this was the route to go. They came home for Thanksgiving break to a full shelf of curriculum at home and never went back.

 

While I'm not suggesting torturing your son to prove a point, sometimes "it takes lemons to make lemonade", kwim? It is very important (to your marriage, your family, everything) that you and dh are on the same page w/this homeschool thing. Whether he plans to help out or not, he needs to be on board. It might be something to register your ds and send him to school in the fall and start stockpiling curriculum so at the first sign of negativity, pull him. If it works and you don't need the curriculum, you could always sell it. Or you could use it for afterschooling:).

 

hth

[Scarlett]

A few random thoughts

 

Just because a kid 'loves' something doesn't necessary mean it is in his best interest.

 

5 years old is so young. Keep him with you and enjoy him while you can. He will be gone for good before you blink twice.

 

My dh was much like yours. He agreed to let ds sit out K (he would have went straight to grade 1 if we had sent him to public school). Then he agreed to just let him do first grade hs'ling. And then 2nd. Now ds is going into 3rd grade and so, well I just take it year by year with dh.

 

As far as the community being totally wrapped up in the whole school thing....I guess you just have to decide if you want to be part of a pack or do your own thing. That was it with me...I didn't want to just do things because that is how they were always done. I want to look at MY child and do what is best for HIM. I cannot imagine that it would be in his best interest to stick him in a classroom full of 25 other 8 year olds, most of which are working far below ds's ability level. Or having him spend 6-7 hours per day being raised by a teacher instead of me. I could never see the point of that. And spending that time with 25 other 8 year olds who may or may not be from a family that shares our morals. I think segregating kids off into their age group that way for the majority of their day does them a great disservice.

 

One thing that most anti-homeschoolers don't understand is that just because we homeschool, doesn't mean we are locked away in our homes all day with no outside contact. Hardly. (well, I"m sure there are some like that, and those are the ones that make the 6 o'clock national news for various horror stories).

 

Ds8 plays with the neighborhood kids. Too much at times and I have to pull the reigns back because they want to be together every free minute. He goes to piano. He goes to swim class. We are very involved in our congregation where he also has many friends his age, younger and older. He goes off to his grandparents to visit for 3 or 4 days whenever we want. Our schedule is not dictated by the politicians who set the school year.

 

So maybe if your dh can understand that he will see that your child won't be missing out but rather branching out in his education.

 

It is such a joy. I wish every parent whose circumstances permitted it would try it for at least a year.

[Scarlett]

And as for going to the school to observe for a day -- they won't let me. That's what drives me INSANE about the schools here. We're supposed to pack him off and ship him to the school, and the extend of our parental "involvement" is to do fund-raising or participate on PTA committees. They don't encourage classroom volunteering or visits (aside from the occasional book reading or whatever), because "it's not fair to the children of the parents who have to work full time." I asked for an observation when we were deciding about Montessori or not, and they flatly refused.

 

This would cinch it for me.

 

I think getting your dh to read TWTM will be very helpful in the long run. However, if he has agreed to let your keep him home for K, I would stop worrying about convincing him for now. Concentrate on enjoying your ds this year. By the time the year is up, he will most likely be ahead of his peers and then the question to your dh will be, 'how will it be helpful for him to go into first grade when he is already past that academically?' :) Your dh will come around. And I started using a Virtual Academy beginning in 1st grade for ds and that has been the compromise for my dh and myself.

[mumztheword]

A few random thoughts

 

... he will see that your child won't be missing out but rather branching out in his education.

 

 

 

I love this! I admit to occasional thoughts on what DS will be *missing* and you've summed it up beautifully.

[mumztheword]

IIt is very important (to your marriage, your family, everything) that you and dh are on the same page w/this homeschool thing.

 

 

 

Totally in agreement -- if I can find the strength in my own convictions, and find some eloquent ways to express myself, I hope I can at least have him consider it for a year. Take it year by year...

[mumztheword]

I want Becca to be herself. I don't want her to cut corners to try and wedge herself into the box of popular opinion, social acceptability, or anything else. She marches to the beat of her own drum as well, and we want to keep it that way.

 

 

 

Yes! I've embraced all the things that make my little DS so incredibly special to me -- and these are the things that just don't translate to the group dynamic. I can see him as being somewhat of a follower -- and I don't want him to fall into the trap of conforming to gain his place in the crowd.

[EKS]

I never thought I'd homeschool.

 

My now 12 yo son went to Montessori preschool, kindergarten, and 1st grade (school change between K and 1st). He somehow learned to read cvc words (haltingly and with much angst) in K with much one-on-one time with the teacher. We thought Montessori was working so we sent him to a Montessori 1st grade. In this particular elementary school, the kids were apparently supposed to be reading fluently before entry into 1st grade (even though they assured me otherwise). At the end of the year he couldn't even reliably count to 10 and his reading had actually deteriorated (if that could even be possible!).

 

We thought we would send him to public school for 2nd grade. We thought the structure would be helpful. So I tutored him over the summer and he made some amazing progress, particularly in math (placed into Saxon 3 by the end of the summer). But I realized that he would need some major input to get up to speed on reading. And I didn't think he would get the intense one-on-one attention he would need to learn quickly in school. So I convinced my husband that we needed to homeschool. My son made such amazing progress that first year that we did it a second year. And now we are at the end of our fifth year of homeschooling.

 

We struggled a bit about what to do with our 6 yo at the beginning of K. This is a child who would be "just fine" in a classroom. But at the beginning of K he was already a solid two years ahead academically. So while he might have fun in school he probably wouldn't learn anything. And as we had been homeschooling for four years at that point we also knew about the behavior differences between homeschooled and traditionally schooled children. We prefer the behavior of the homeschooled ones.

 

I haven't once regretted the decision to homeschool either of my sons. They are getting a phenomenal education tailored to their needs and, when practical, to their interests. They are not peer oriented and so don't have the obnoxious behavior that comes with that. They are interesting and interested in many things. And we aren't tied to the school schedule, which is wonderful for vacations in the off season! No crowds!

 

As wonderful as it has been, it has also been difficult and exhausting. As my 12 yo gets older, I'm finding that I have to prelearn much more. Right now I am going through an online geometry course (aleks.com) to get ready to teach geometry in the fall. Then, there is the panic at 3 in the morning about whether I'm doing the right thing curriculum wise. It can be emotionally draining to constantly be enforcing the completion of schoolwork. And I essentially never have time to myself.

 

But it has been worth it.

[Jami]

I don't really have much to add...I mostly wanted to say "hi" and that I really think your signature is awesome "wanna be crunchy, mostly just soggy". I know how that feels. ;)

 

Public school really wasn't ever an option we considered and then we lived in a city with terrible schools, so that sort of sealed the deal. I started looking into classical education through the classical, Christian school movement, but decided pretty early on that private school wasn't likely to be affordable on one income. And then I found TWTM and homeschooling no longer seemed like something only a few really strange people did, but a FANTASTIC idea!

 

But I have a very supportive husband, he's probably more convinced homeschooling is best for our family than I am some days. In his mind, any school, even the best of it's kind, is still a school, where squre pegs can't fit in round holes. He was a square peg.

 

Good luck to you!

 

Jami

[mumztheword]

In this particular elementary school, the kids were apparently supposed to be reading fluently before entry into 1st grade (even though they assured me otherwise). At the end of the year he couldn't even reliably count to 10 and his reading had actually deteriorated (if that could even be possible!).

 

We struggled a bit about what to do with our 6 yo at the beginning of K. This is a child who would be "just fine" in a classroom.

 

 

I think we were headed down the very same road that you traveled. I thought Montessori was *IT* and reveled in the fact that we had found such a kind and gentle educational process. What happened though, after we transferred him to a larger Montessori in order to go all the way through 8th grade, is that he got lost. And then he regressed. The kid that knew all his letters before starting preschool, now could only name about 1/2 of them. And he couldn't count past 11.

 

And Montessori isn't the same everywhere. At his first school, the kids were warm and helpful to their peers. At his second school, I saw children being corrected for trying to help a fellow student. They took "independence" to a whole new level, and I couldn't believe that his teacher was telling a kid not to help another one... to leave him alone and go work on his own stuff. What was that teaching my son?

 

Shame on me, for turning over the education of my children to someone else, no matter how kind or gentle.

 

BTW, my DD will also be one of those kids who would be fine in school. She would be popular and would live the life. Heck, she was already the center of her class at the Montessori school, and she was just 3... scary. :eek:

[mumztheword]

I don't really have much to add...I mostly wanted to say "hi" and that I really think your signature is awesome "wanna be crunchy, mostly just soggy". I know how that feels. ;)

 

Jami

 

Hee hee, thanks. It sort of sums up where I am in my life. :willy_nilly:

[3lilreds in NC]

Homeschooling was never on my radar at all, until my oldest turned 5 and I was faced with sending her to all-day K. It just didn't make sense to me that a child that young needed to be in school all day. I met a wonderful woman at our ballet studio who homeschooled, and she told me about TWTM. I read it, and it made so much sense! I'm not following it very closely, LOL, but it did make homeschooling seem doable.

 

My girls did go to preschool through age 4. They loved it. I know they missed their friends, especially Emma. However, even at a Christian preschool that is highly recommended in our area, I saw things that I didn't like, especially for my eldest.

 

My dh and I have had the attitude that we will homeschool as long as it works for our family. I can't imagine a time when it would *not* work, really, but we're open to sending them to school if it makes the most sense for our family situation at the time.

 

You can do it! It can seem daunting, but you'll find that once you start, it's fun and not nearly as difficult as you might think. K only takes an hour or two per day, and then there's lots of time for fun and being a kid.

[Mom to Aly]

I started for a number of reasons. One, my daughter is extremely advanced and the schools here do nothing for that until the kids are 8. Two, overcrowding, understaffing, etc. Three, I was worried about some of the same things you were. My daughter was always very friendly and social, but also quiet in a crowd, ultra nice and polite, if another kid came and snatched something from her, she wouldn't say anything--I was afraid she would be bullied and pushed around. She is ultra sensitive, and I was afraid she would get her feelings hurt all the time, and hate it. It has ended up being the opposite, she is so brave, never lets anyone talk down to her, very outgoing and social, has really come into her own in the past couple of years, but I don't think that every would have happened in a school environment where she would have disappeared into the crowd, never to be heard from again.

 

Homeschooling has given her a confidence she didn't have when she was younger. She has excelled at academics--she is very well spoken, and adults notice it wherever we go and comment on it. She is also very polite, and they speak of that too. You can do the schoolwork so much faster, and make it so much more fun, they love learning, and often get ahead of what their studies would have been in school. We stopped t.v. years ago, just watch movies sometimes now, and my daughter's fave thing is to read--she devours books, which has given her a wonderful vocabulary and a high spelling aptitude.

 

When I first started this, I thought I would do it for a few years, and see how it went. I could do it forever now. My daughter adores it, as do I. It gives us the freedom to travel when we like, avoiding the expensive school holidays when everyone else goes away. We go out during the week, when things are cheaper and less crowded. When we go to the park, or anyplace, really, my daughter is one of the best behaved children there--and I don't mean that in a conceited way. It is true of most homeschooled children. At a get together recently, one of the moms said, "You can spot a homeschooled child a mile away", and it was true. School had let out a few minutes before, and the homeschooled kids were playing nicely, taking turns; the public school kids were, in general, louder, some pushing, some calling names, just not as nice.

 

Another thing I've realized; I don't know anyone who homeschools who has a prob with their high schoolers trying drugs. I don't know why I thought I'd send my daughter to school when she was older--that is precisely the time I should not want her in school.

 

I don't know how long you are thinking of doing this, or how it will work out for you. I would say, however, that if I were you, I'd keep a very open mind. Let your son enjoy it. My daughter, too, did well in camps and clubs, bud DID NOT WANT to go to school. A camp or club is nothing like a school, where it is overcrowded, and they are at the mercy of the teacher and school system for 9 months--even at 5, they know that.

 

Also, do look for more fams. Even if you have to drive some, you do need a network to get together with. IF not during the day, then afterschool, some friends to socialize with. That will help a lot.

 

Best of luck.

[WTMindy]

I would also just take it one year at a time. He will not miss much by not doing K at public school and then it will give your family a time to see how it goes for you. Welcome, by the way!

[Peek a Boo]

I do hope to convince him to let me keep him home next year, and then show him how we can all blossom and benefit from it.

 

Anyone else with suggestions on how to convert an extremely skeptical DH?

 

**slipping out of Cat Suit and donning Rhino Skin**

 

:rant:

 

ya know, based JUST on the school's no-parents policy, I'd put my foot down w/ dh over this. But then again, things go pretty well for me when i'm assertive ;)

 

As The Mom, You have a keen perception of what's best for the children in their day to day lives: that's your JOB!

 

Being a wonderful, discerning guy Himself who picked Only The Best Gal for His Wife, your DH obviously values your wisdom and expertise and Judgment. Because He wouldn't settle for less than The Best. Right?

Your dh needs to give you the opportunity to DO YOUR JOB.

You've obviously done your homework. You'll be able to find more homeschoolers and you keep studying and looking for local resources.

"Being on the same page" is a two-way street.

Support goes both ways.

Homeschooling is NOT that "out there" anymore.

You know that --he just needs to catch up.

 

You are an adult, you've done a great job w/ the kids so far, and there's no reason you won't CONTINUE to do a good job as long as your partner doesn't sabotage your efforts.:glare:

 

here --you can borrow my whip. for another year at least..... lol.

 

:rant:

 

 

 

good luck :)

[mumztheword]

Being a wonderful, discerning guy Himself who picked Only The Best Gal for His Wife, your DH obviously values your wisdom and expertise and Judgment. Because He wouldn't settle for less than The Best. Right?

Your dh needs to give you the opportunity to DO YOUR JOB.

You've obviously done your homework. You'll be able to find more homeschoolers and you keep studying and looking for local resources.

"Being on the same page" is a two-way street.

Support goes both ways.

Homeschooling is NOT that "out there" anymore.

You know that --he just needs to catch up.

 

 

here --you can borrow my whip. for another year at least..... lol.

 

:rant:

 

OHMYGOSH, you are funny (and right!)... I might need that whip. I've actually joked before that he has a very hard time saying *no* to me -- I'm not terribly unreasonable and haven't demanded too much (Ok, the camper was kinda big, but we're ALL having fun with that). But I've never felt like there was so much at stake.

 

I swear, as soon as I've posted enough to dole out rep I'll be visiting you guys! (Now where did that post of nothingness go to? ;))

[brehon]

I'd ordered The Well-Trained Mind from A Common Reader (RIP) when my eldest was, hmmm, 3? 4?, simply because of the description in the catalogue. I read the book and had an "A-Ha" moment. This was very close to the education I wanted for my kids. So, I started thinking and researching. Jump forward several months - we were driving up to visit my mom and I rather tentatively brought it up with dh, not knowing what his reaction would be (we were both public school grads).

 

He heaved this huge sigh of relief and said, "Thank God you want to homeschool. I read that book you bought and really want to homeschool our kids. I just didn't know how you felt about it."

 

So, here we are several years later homeschooling our kids and loving every minute. Well, not every minute of course; but, the good moments have thus far vastly outnumbered the bad/frustrating/hair-tearing-out moments.

 

As far as your situation, just know that no choice is completely binding. If you decide to send your ds to ps just know that you can pull him out at any time should the need arise. And if you decide to hs and, for whatever reason, it doesn't work out, you can re-evaluate. Maybe your dh will see how well your ds flourishes at home and be assimilated (erm, come around) to the idea of homeschooling. Just know that a little camp is not at all the same thing as actual SCHOOL. Find out your dh's concerns about homeschooling and either discuss them or give him your research/articles/TWTM and tell him you'll discuss it after he's fully informed himself.

[bairnmama]

I had actually been thinking of homeschooling all along, my dh had been homeschooled and I had cousins who were homeschooling their children. But, my dh is military and did 3 back to back long deployments when my dc were VERY small (read 18 mo, 2 1/2 yrs, then 3 1/2 yrs & 6 wks). I thought doing ps would give me a little bit of a break from being the sole care-giver 24/7/365. I sent my dd to our church preschool and she absolutely loved it, was the social butterfly, but didn't really learn much. The teacher said she just needed more time since her birthday was so late. So... on to public K. She loved making friends, but HATED school. We had tears every night over homework, stomach aches almost every morning, etc. The teachers kept her from recess because she was slow with her work and it was an all day K with only 1 recess period!!! They nitpicked over tiny stars on the American Flag being run over with blue, and were trying to get a child who couldn't recognize the number 13 when she saw it to tell them if it was odd or even. So, I pulled her out Dec 1 and haven't looked back!

[Ellie]

If he were my ds, I'd keep him home (although I wouldn't be "holding him back," since if I decided he'd go to school the following fall, I'd enroll him in first grade).

 

I sent my dd to a Christian school for kindergarten and first grade. Dh and I had no confidence in public school (that was over 25 years ago, BTW, and I haven't seen public schools improve any), and many of our friends sent their dc to this particular school.

 

Neighbors moved in down the street who were hsers--the first I had ever heard of (1982, you know)--and although we became good friends, our lifestyles were so completely different, and we just figured they were the "kind of people who would do that."

 

Dd did well in kindergarten and first grade, although there were things about the school I wasn't thrilled with (such as the dc not being allowed to talk in the bathrooms, and one little girl being sent to the principal because she had asked if there were t.p. in the stall next to her. What???) Dd learned to read well, loved her teacher, seemed to look forward to school each day. There was so much going on each morning to get her out the door on time, and pressure to get her into bed each evening early so it could start all over the next day. After Christmas she began to change...nothing I could put my finger on, exactly, other than her being more emotional on random ocassions, and once or twice commenting that she didn't like being there.

 

One day she came home with her little half sheet of arithmetic homework, and cried for 40 minutes over it. Down I went to my weird homeschool neighbor's house:D I spent the next two weeks reading everything she had (back issues of John Holt's Growing Without School), and reading all of John Holt's books from the library, and praying. Finally I decided that although I didn't know how to teach algebra or biology or anything else, I *could* teach dd how to learn, and that she needed to be home. Dh agreed.

 

During Easter vacation my friend took me to the county office of education and I filed a private school affidavit (California). Monday morning I took dd to school and went to the office to withdraw her. The office people were shocked; no one had ever done that before (the next year, several parents did not send their dc back there but hsed instead). Dd said good bye to everyone, but she didn't really understand that she was not.going.back. until the next morning. When I let her sleep as long as she needed to and she came out all cute and ruffly-haired, and realized this was it, she cried for 40 minutes.:001_unsure:

 

I decided that we'd take an early summer vacation and be Officially Homeschooling in the fall. If by December we were all still normal and we all still liked each other, we'd keep going. How's that for commitment?:D

 

Except for a brief stint in a magnet school for 6th grade, we hsed until dds went to community college when they were 14ish.

 

I'd do it all again in a heartbeat, in an instant, without a second thought. Even though older dd wishes I had left her in school.:glare: I am stil convinced it was the right thing to do.

 

So, yeah, I'd keep that boy home, and I'd cheerfully ignore the neighbors' horror that he isn't being sent off with their dc to the public school.

[Alenee]

 

 

Anyone else with suggestions on how to convert an extremely skeptical DH?

 

My dh was skeptical and would yawn when I'd ask him to read a whole book. So I began highlighting sentences, paragraphs, and/or would just read the section aloud while he was sitting with me. He eventually came around and like others said, he is homeschooling's biggest advocate now.

 

I think it's okay to let him be skeptical...skeptical doesn't mean "against it alltogether" right? If I'm right, just go for it and let the results convince him.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[HSMom2One]

I am homeschooling my youngest child and we started last fall at the beginning of 3rd grade. She had been in ps for k-2 years, but we pulled her out when we realized that schools were changing rapidly along with our culture in ways that we are immensely concerned. Our older children went to ps and they are all grown and gone now. There was a very noticeable change in the way schools are operating vs the way things were when the other children were there.

 

We noticed that there is such a major focus on social things in school and that education was no longer the primary reason to be there. While in ps, every day there was some sort of drama going on between dd and her peers. Our dd is a happy, polite, well-adjusted child, but she would get caught in the middle of things on a regular basis. From there, teachers were making choices for handling problems without input from parents. In one case we didn't even know there was an issue with dd and some other girls until it was already over. The girls had been sent to a yoga class to learn problem resolution! When I found this out, it was the last straw. She was only 7 yo and we weren't even given a chance to approve/disapprove of this.

 

All that aside, we met some wonderful people that were homeschooling their children and were very impressed by what we saw, heard and learned from them. Then I read the WTM and was completely convinced it was the course of action to take. What a wonderful book! It was the real deal breaker in my opinion. Since I would be taking on the lead role in this, I talked to dh and shared with him the strongest points from the book. He immediately bought into the idea. He had also taken stock in what the other family's dh/dad had shared with him. We agreed to try it for a year before checking out private schools.

 

At the same time I was interviewing with a local classical Christian private school and was hired. I now had a part-time position that would allow me to work and homeschool together. Through this I am learning more about classical education through my job, and that helps me a great deal with my dd at home. Eventually, she will go to the school where I teach, but for now we are enjoying what we are doing. It is a very precious, time for dd and I. I know it will have a lasting impact on her. Our whole family is happy that we can incorporate our faith into the curriculm - something that is one of the strongest benefits in our opinion. Also, I know that I'm the only one that can provide what dd needs the most. It is a genuine calling to do this, one that humbles me often.

 

You have been given some wonderful advice already. I'll just echo the idea that you should go with your gut feeling. PS cannot meet the needs of every child and every family. As parents we are the ones that must make the decisions about what is best for our children. It isn't necessary to hand them over to strangers with blind trust.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[mumztheword]

You ladies have been so open and your stories are so heartfelt -- I love reading about your decisions/genesis.

 

Thank you so much for sharing part of yourselves with me.

[mumztheword]

I had actually been thinking of homeschooling all along, my dh had been homeschooled and I had cousins who were homeschooling their children. But, my dh is military and did 3 back to back long deployments when my dc were VERY small (read 18 mo, 2 1/2 yrs, then 3 1/2 yrs & 6 wks). I thought doing ps would give me a little bit of a break from being the sole care-giver 24/7/365. I sent my dd to our church preschool and she absolutely loved it, was the social butterfly, but didn't really learn much. The teacher said she just needed more time since her birthday was so late. So... on to public K. She loved making friends, but HATED school. We had tears every night over homework, stomach aches almost every morning, etc. The teachers kept her from recess because she was slow with her work and it was an all day K with only 1 recess period!!! They nitpicked over tiny stars on the American Flag being run over with blue, and were trying to get a child who couldn't recognize the number 13 when she saw it to tell them if it was odd or even. So, I pulled her out Dec 1 and haven't looked back!

 

Homework? In KINDERGARTEN? Keeping her in for recess?

That's HORRIBLE.

:angry: