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How does your spouse/partner feel about his/her job?


How does your spouse/partner feel about his or her job?  

3 members have voted

  1. 1. How does your spouse/partner feel about his or her job?

    • Single, does not apply
      0
    • Spouse/partner is retired or disabled
      2
    • S/P is out of work and looking
      4
    • S/P is underemployed / in wrong field and looking
      9
    • S/P hates their job but does it to support the family
      32
    • S/P dislikes many things about the job, but thatâ??s why they call it work!
      74
    • S/P seems pretty content in their job
      60
    • S/P loves their job
      30
    • S/P has a career which is more than a job, itâ??s a big part of who s/he is
      75
    • Other
      11


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My husband does not like his job at all, but with this economy, there is no where else for him to go. Not that long ago, an engineer could easily find a well-paying job; engineers were in demand in our area. Now, that is no longer the case. He is a design engineer doing production engineer work -- that's how his job got shifted, but there is nowhere else for him to go and make the same salary he is making now. Moving is not an option for us.

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My husband is a roller coaster about his work. Sometimes it is great, he feels successful and challenged, and the planets are aligned. Other times he is pessimistic about it, gets tired of how his coworkers are, and finds it overwhelmingly stressful. I would say he is 60/40 about it (with the higher number being pessimistic days).

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My dh is underemployed. He's not looking through, not right now. It's steady work, he doesn't come home exhausted everyday, so he's riding along for now.

 

He was previously self-employed and needed to take a job with a steady paycheck and less admin work. It nice to not have the phone ringing every night at dinner.

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DH is currently a full time student, but he's studying in a field that he has been very interested in for a long time so hopefully he will like what he ends up doing after he graduates.

 

I am currently employed and while my job isnt the greatest job out there I dont dread going to work.

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My dh is dealing with some chronic health issues right now that make him hate his job. He has difficulty meeting performance standards at the moment and it is taking a toll on him mentally. He loves what he does but he is not enjoying work right now. He continues because we his job provides the health benefits that we need.

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He is absolutely miserable, looking for other employment, and signing up for online classes. His job is a convenient store clerk. He gave up a better retail job for the schedule so that one of us would always be home with the kids, but it's breaking him physically (he has symptoms of neuropathy in his feet and carpal tunnel in his wrists).

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ahh, students - that one totally slipped my mind. i would have had to take one out, though, because there is a 10-option limit

 

My husband is literally a genius but with a really grumpy personality. he is trained mostly in math and actuarial science, but really wanted to be a war strategist. When he applied to the military, he aced all the tests except vision, and they wouldnt take him.

 

He worked as an actuary for a while, but found that boring, so he's been a programmer/analyst for a long time. I really feel like part of the problem is the culture in the area we live in, but every job he's had, coworkers recognize that he's brilliant at what he does, but management either gives him more work than he can do and rates him badly for not getting it all done, or lies about him to get him in trouble, or refuses to let him do any work because they dont want to make a decision and be held accountable for it.

 

He doesnt want to manage, he just wants to design good systems and make sure everyone is using good practices, but its all too political. Little things get him down, too - like one of the managers decided to throw a party for someone who had been let go while on disability, and was INSISTING that everyone contribute money towards it. Dh refused but there was a lot of heated discussion and he was upset for days.

 

he also is constantly in trouble because other people arent doing their work, but when he tries to point this out, he's told he's being a bad team player, yet he is not allowed and doenst have the time to do the work FOR the other people, most of whom are paid more than he is.

 

but as i said, ever job he's had since i met him has been as bad. Actually, this job and the last were ok until his hiring manager quit, and then it all went down hill rapidly.

 

he wont look for another job right now because i might need knee surgery and he doenst want to worry about whether or not its covered. and i start to worry that, at 47, even a genius with 5 degrees is going to have a harder time finding a job.

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My dh was in the construction field. He loved his job. He was a superintendent and got to schedule and work with trades. He's a people person. He was really good at it. Then the recession tanked. He was laid off for 16 months. Now he changes filters in commercial buildings. He makes half what he did (but double unemployment). He travels a lot. It's dangerous work. He doesn't get to talk to anyone all day. It's not good for him. We live in the desert and he works on roofs. It's piece work so sometimes money is okay. Sometimes I rob Peter to pay Paul. And he hates that I have to work. We both try really hard not to complain because it does no good. But, man. There ares some days I just yearn so badly for the life we used to have.

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It depends on the day. James Bond is career military (16.5 years so far) and identifies himself strongly with his job. There are days when he really enjoys what he does (I'm not entirely certain what he does as we can't talk about it) and other days where he hates it. He's deployed right now and he mostly hates it. He's working 16 hour days, 7 days a week and hasn't had a day off in almost 4 months so he's really, really hating it right now.

 

He likes the security of his job (he's nowhere near being on the chopping block, thank goodness) and the fact that we have healthcare. The paychecks aren't nearly enough for the amount of work he does and the number of hours he puts in (even when not deployed), but they are decent and allow us to live comfortably.

 

There are days when I hate his job. I hate when he works until 10 or 11pm and has to go in on weekends or is TDY (gone) for weeks or months at a time, and I really, really, really hate deployments, but it's all part and parcel with military life. No matter how "family friendly" the military claims to be, they own him and the needs of the Army come first.

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I came close to voting "S/P has a career which is more than a job, it’s a big part of who s/he is" but went with "other".

 

Dh is giving his resignation today. He HATES working for his current company. He's going to continue in the same business, but running his own division.

His job can really, really stink at times, but he's incredible at it, and he enjoys being one of the very best. Even when it sometimes consumes our lives!

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My husband just changed jobs and is liking it so far. He came from a super stressful job and now works pretty much on his own. It's been a surprisingly less than smooth transition but he is starting to settle in now. In his last job I figured he'd have a heart attack due to stress within the year. This job I figure he'll die of boredom first.;)

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I almost voted "S/P hates their job but does it to support the family," but went with "S/P dislikes many things about the job, but that's why they call it work" instead because "hates" is probably too strong a word for how he feels. He was laid off his construction-related job about three years ago, due to economic woes in the company. He's been in construction for many years, so went back at it as a self-employed handyman/carpenter/landscape care person. That's somewhat enjoyable to him, but stressful in wondering if there will be work next week/month/winter. I started working very part time right about the time he was laid off -- the idea was to provide for music lessons and what-not (extras). But as it stands, I'm now working almost full time in my field (it's a job I *love*) at a rate that's double what he was making before and so last year, he worked far less and homeschooled the kids while I worked. Last spring, he did gain employment with our local state university (labor type position) and while he doesn't love the work or the schedule (late afternoon to just after midnight), it provides some needed income and allows him to be free for homeschooling while I continue to work. We don't know what the future holds -- either advancement at the university or buying the business of a local locksmith that he's been apprenticing with on the side. God knows! And we just press on, one foot in front of the other .....

 

ETA -- My work schedule is not too very flexible; I have to work in the mornings and early afternoon (not straight, I do have some breaks between classes). With my husband not going to work until later afternoon, our schedules allow us both to be with our kids a lot throughout the day, and that way we love it. My husband is a far better homeschooling leader than I am, and I think he enjoys somewhat guiding all that with the kids. So in some respects, we're in a good place.

Edited by milovaný
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I chose the career option. Dh loves his job. It has its rough days, of course, but it is incredibly rewarding. Like a pp says, he could make more in the private sector (he is in special needs education,) but he feels a calling to this work. We sacrificed for years for him to get his degree, and we have sacrificed since then for his two post-Bachelor degrees, but it has been worth it in the end with job stability and satisfaction.

 

A few weeks ago, dh took a voluntary pay cut and "demotion" to go back to his old job (principal) from the director job he moved up to a year or two ago. People thought we were crazy, of course, but he is much happier now. I'm working a little online to make up for the pay difference, and it is worth it to have dh under a bit less stress.

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My husband is content. He typically works 4 really long days a week and gets 3 days off.

 

It's not as demanding as previous jobs he's had, the pay is, for the area and being firmly blue collar, very good, his boss treats him kindly and with respect, he can pick up more work for more pay as needed, and in less than 6 months our medical and dental premiums will be paid at 100%.

 

He misses us on those 16 hour days, he comes smelly and tired, and it us a dirty and dangerous job, but he's enjoying it.

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Seeing my husband sitting on the bed, trying to get up the resolve to go in to another day, made me wonder how common this is.

 

DH was feeling this way and we put in for a distance assignment and a change of office -- it was not the job so much, though it does have red-tape frustrations, but the people in his office and office environment.

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I voted other.

Dh is ok with his job. He likes that he has a job, hates what he does, likes who he works with, is ok with the pay (would like more)....but doesnt always want to get up at 7:30 and go to work.

 

However, I am Thankful he has this job because last year this time he didnt have a job.

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Up until a year ago, dh was MISERABLE at work. For the 10 previous years, he had gone through one bad sales job after another. He would always start out excited, but then after about a year, he would realize that it was just another bad job. It was exhausting...not just for him, but for me too. Our marriage suffered and it was just awful. I spent a lot of time thinking that there was no way we would make it.

 

Last year, he lucked into an opportunity in a completely different field (working in the oil field) and he loves it. This career has also been hard on our family, but mainly because he is gone a lot. However, he is happy now...so I can take it! :D

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Seeing my husband sitting on the bed, trying to get up the resolve to go in to another day, made me wonder how common this is.

 

:grouphug: My husband's former job was like that. It was absolutely awful to see him struggle. He was more than miserable, I think he was actually abused there by his sadistic boss and one of his co-workers. He stayed way longer than he should have, ended up in the hospital with a stomach ulcer rupture, nearly died. He went back just 2 short weeks later, and was 'let go' a month after that. That was a blessing. No job is worth them being in emotional pain every day.

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Dh started his own business this year. We are on month 10. It wasn't a career that he was passionate about, just something that fell into his lap.

 

He is struggling with it. DH is used to a more physical job (in-market sales) and this one is all desk based. He likes some parts of it, but hates the sitting around part.

 

He has 2 other business owners in his office that are significantly out pacing him (they do the same job, but share office space to keep costs down). That really brings dh down. One has a lot of experience and a huge client base at another business he is associated with to pull from (for instance easily wrote 45 new contracts last month-dh struggled to get 15). The other owner found a great assistant who came in with a lot of training from a previous employer. She has amazing sales tactics I guess. Happy for them, but wish dh would have had someone like her to hire.

 

 

Dh's sales assistant of 5 months, has a husband with seizures (were under control but have radically increased this past year) and she has to leave work unexpectedly to take care of him sometimes. It is bad enough that he was recently hospitalized for a week to stabilize him. She also had her appendix rupture a few weeks ago and needed to take a week off work. All VERY understandable, out of anyone's control, and dh has no problem wih her taking the time off work for these very legitimate reasons.....but it is really hurting us financially at the same time. When she is gone, she isn't paid but there is also no one to replace her and to generate her lost sales $$. He keeps thinking that things are stabilizing in her life and that they will get back to business...but then things like her appendix occur. She is really good when she is in the office, she just needs to be there.

 

We have enough in savings to last about 2-3 more months and then we will be upside down in our personal accounts and business accounts.

 

He is starting to apply for other jobs. He feels pretty trapped right now and doesn't know what else to do.

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I voted "Other" because dh is a SAHD and our son's primary teacher. He loves his "job!" ;)

 

My job is more tangential to my area of study, but it's challenging, it pays well, the hours are regular, and it offers really good health and educational benefits. So, I wouldn't identify myself by it, but I like most aspects of it and I'm grateful to have such a job in this economy.

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He hates it. His colleagues treat him like dirt, his doctoral degree is in a totally unrelated field, and (as he puts it) he works in a place where the "Culture of Can't" reigns supreme. (*Any* new ideas are immediately shot down with some excuse. No one ever wants to put forth an effort to change or improve anything.)

 

Okay....leaving this discussion before I really start ranting. :leaving:

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I had to choose Other. My dh is underemployed, but *loves* his job. :glare:

 

I think this is a huge part of why he "can't seem to find another position", quite honestly, but he's never been Mr. Assertive/Aggressive anyhow. Sometimes I wish the kids and I rated higher than job satisfaction.

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He hates it. His colleagues treat him like dirt, his doctoral degree is in a totally unrelated field, and (as he puts it) he works in a place where the "Culture of Can't" reigns supreme. (*Any* new ideas are immediately shot down with some excuse. No one ever wants to put forth an effort to change or improve anything.)

 

Okay....leaving this discussion before I really start ranting. :leaving:

 

Flutistmom, I started to wonder if you live in the same town I do, and maybe it IS the culture. But no, you live in Mordor, so I guess the culture there is even worse ;)

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Flutistmom, I started to wonder if you live in the same town I do, and maybe it IS the culture. But no, you live in Mordor, so I guess the culture there is even worse ;)

 

:tongue_smilie:Ha! My location is an extension of a family joke. The buildings at the college where dh works are *very* stark (many built in the early 60's as quickly and cheaply as possible, as I understand.) Some refer to the administrative building on campus as "Barad-dur." (I'll let you work out the reasoning behind that!;)) So- here we are! Mordor! Though I'm longing to escape to the Shire!

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Dh has his own business, and he cannot imagine working for someone else ever again. Lately though, he hates his work. He is resolved to change the things that are causing him to hate what he is doing, so hopefully things will be better for him soon. It's tough to see him go through this, getting up at 5am, dealing with a lot of cr*p all day, getting home at 6 or 7pm and still having to deal with issues at night.

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DH tolerates his main gig, even though he is underpaid, because it is the steady check that pays *most* of the bills. He loathes his side gig right now, but hopes to be done with it after Christmas. (Ussually he loves his side gigs- he has just been at this one too long.) It is the volunteer work DH does that feeds his soul. It is him living out his gifts and makes the rest of it tolerable for him. He knows he'll never make enough to support our family with just the type of work he does volunteer and on the side and is totally convinced homeschooling is the best choice for our kids. So...he deals with junk because it allows him to support the things he feels are important.

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Working in the oilfield means long hours, odd hours and very very hard to plan any sort of family event. Winter gets tiring for him. That being said, he would never leave it because it's not so stressful or hard that he dreads it (well by March he's dreading calls), and the money is better here than anywhere else he could possibly go.

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My dh loves his job. There are individual situations that he dislikes, but overall he's very thankful for it. The work is interesting and stimulating to him, he has good bosses over him who listen to his input and he really likes his coworkers. Plus his office is 5 minutes from home making it easy for him to come home and see us at lunch.

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Seeing my husband sitting on the bed, trying to get up the resolve to go in to another day, made me wonder how common this is.

 

This is my husband. He has great bosses, gets to telecommute, is paid well and receives wonderful vacation time; yet, he hates the actual job. He is trying to find another job, but not many offer all the other great benefits. I'm thankful and perfectly content with where we are but I want him to be happy too. *Sigh*

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Other.

 

Dh has a career that is more than just a job. He is an analytical chemist for generic pharmaceuticals. He likes what he does and is very good at it but doesn't always like dealing with the people he works for. He was laid off in December and he opened his own generic pharmaceutical development lab with a partner. They are working on building their business so there is some stress but this is exactly what he wants to do.

 

In the meantime, he is also working as temporary CEO for another company (that they rent lab space from). He's not enjoying that so much - long hours, tons of work, deadline expectations that he did not sign off on, boss is hard to work for. But, he's going to continue doing that until his own company signs a few more contracts.

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Seeing my husband sitting on the bed, trying to get up the resolve to go in to another day, made me wonder how common this is.
:grouphug: My husband truly enjoys his current job (more of a career, really). He travels much of the time, but we are thankful for his employment and what it offers us.

 

I remember when he hated his (old) job. He never said much about it, but I could tell. I encouraged him to pursue whatever he felt was going to be a better move for his career and our family. This gave him the freedom to feel he could apply elsewhere, and he kept at it until he moved up and up to where he is now. He finished his schooling (B.S.) and also completed several certifications in his field. He's willing and able to travel extensively, be "on call" all the time (even vacations), and have a completely unpredictable schedule (not in terms of his hours [days vs. nights] but in terms of knowing ahead of time when he'll be away or home). He's also very... friendly? Funny? Easy to get along with? All of that, which helps other people he works with to think he's the "Golden Man." He got an award this year for MVP, so I guess he's doing something right.

 

Back when he was downcast I think it helped him that I always tried to convey how thankful I was for his efforts to provide for us, no matter where we were at financially. I had to work at not complaining about it at all. I'd wait until he went to work, then go down in the yucky basement to do laundry and complain to the centipedes on the walls. :tongue_smilie:My oldest child said one evening at supper, "Yeah, we hear Mommy talking to herself when we listen at the laundry chute. Something about stress and money..." :lol:

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:

Back when he was downcast I think it helped him that I always tried to convey how thankful I was for his efforts to provide for us, no matter where we were at financially. I had to work at not complaining about it at all. I'd wait until he went to work, then go down in the yucky basement to do laundry and complain to the centipedes on the walls. :tongue_smilie:My oldest child said one evening at supper, "Yeah, we hear Mommy talking to herself when we listen at the laundry chute. Something about stress and money..." :lol:

:lol:

 

I sometimes make a point of thanking him for supporting us. I'm not too stressed financially (tho i really do want to take care of some things around the house and I cant tell how much is that he doesnt want to spend the money, and how much is he just doesnt want to be involved). i wish he would re-invent himself, but he's too much of a worrier. It wont happen until I go back to work, and probably not then, either. When I quit, i was making 60% of his salary, but he took a pretty big pay cut for this job. (I had told him to quit his last job, they were killing him)

 

Its interesting, it sounds like most of what people hate is either grueling work (physical or long hours), or bad boss/politics.

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