Jen in NY Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 What would you do if you had an adult friend that undermined your parental authority with your kids? I just sent my dd to spend a couple of days with family friends... another hs family we know. Without revealing too many details... this family is wonderful, friendly, extremely generous... and they are wealthy. They own a few properties and split their time between them, so my dd is at one of their "alternate" dwellings. Summer home? Dunno. The concept is so completely foreign to me that I don't even know what to name it. Anyway, they travel a lot, so their kids don't do too many things that require them to be in any one place at a regular time... like competition sports or dance. they don't like to be tied down in any way. And lucky for them, they can afford to live that way. But my dd is in things like this. This is a huge sacrifice for us. We don't have huge retirement savings... we have almost no college savings, and I feel that the best gifts I can give my kids at this point in their lives are skills and discipline. I certainly don't have moolah to leave them or any property for them to sell, so they are going to have to survive by hook or by crook through the fruits of their own efforts. Anyway, my daughter (by her own choice) is highly scheduled this summer. She is working as a mother's helper, she is taking three dance classes, she is teaching piano lessons, and she is taking piano lessons ... she chose to do all of this by her own accord. I certainly didn't force her to - I would have been happy to sit by the pool all summer with nowhere to go :001_smile:. We did manage to carve out a couple of days for her to go with this other family... and I need to pick her up today. So when I called on the phone to make arrangements to get her, I suggested a certain time to leave, and the mom... in front of my daughter... starts basically tearing me up. "Oh, Jen... can't she stay longer?? She's going to think that any time she takes a little risk she gets punished for it (huh?). You've got to let her enjoy herself... " I can't even remember half the things she said. I felt like I was being kicked in the gut. Then she turns to my dd and says "Do you mind if your mom comes at noon?" and to me says "Dd says it's OK to come and pick her up at noon as long as you don't leave right away." Am I completely overreacting to be upset by this? Seriously, If I am I want to hear it. But I would never have the nerve to argue with a teenager's mother about how she is parenting.... in front of the kid!! ARG! Talk me down so i don't go down there and make a scene when they make a scene about me picking her up... please!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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