heliconian Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Okay, team, I could use some help. My 8 year old is always complaining about tiny aches and pains as though he was dying. Daily. Headaches, muscle aches, toothaches, excessive itchiness, we've heard about it (usually at bed time). Last week, he went to the doctor for a headache that he swore he'd had off and on for a year and had just never mentioned to us. Our very sympathetic pediatrician did a neurological assessment and determined that his headache(s?) are probably caused by tooth grinding. This is a doctor who is, if anything, overly thorough. (He screened him for cancer due to some swollen lymph nodes last year.) This week, the complaint is a sore throat and painful swallowing. It isn't that I don't believe him, though he is in his room singing the theme to Doctor Who right now. He's been making sounds like he is trying to clear his throat all day. The issue is, if I took him in every time he complained, I would be there every week. How long can I wait and still be a good mother? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heliconian Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 No fever, but one side of his neck does seem to be slightly swollen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Is his throat red? Do his tonsils appear swollen, or do they have white spots? Could just be seasonal allergies. If there is no fever, no obvious signs of illness, then throw him a cough drop, give him an antihistamine and/or a decongestant, and call it good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I wouldn't take my kid in for a sore throat unless it had been going on for a long time (like more than a week) or if it was extremely painful (unable to eat or drink because of the pain, for example). But in general, if the kid is acting fairly normal, I take the wait and see approach and generally it turns out to be nothing. Singing the theme to Dr Who falls under acting normal in my book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heliconian Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 I don't see any sign of infection. Other than the slight swelling on the right side of his neck. He doesn't seem like a sick kid to me. I just don't know what to do about the constant complaints. How on earth am I supposed to know when he's really sick? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Entropymama Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I wouldn't take my kid in for a sore throat unless it had been going on for a long time (like more than a week) or if it was extremely painful (unable to eat or drink because of the pain, for example). But in general, if the kid is acting fairly normal, I take the wait and see approach and generally it turns out to be nothing. Singing the theme to Dr Who falls under acting normal in my book. :iagree: My 8 year old is like this. Well, not quite as extreme maybe, but lots of complaints about pain, etc. He also overreacts whenever he gets hurt. I started keeping a little journal for a while to make sure he wasn't complaining about the same stuff consistently, and that helped rule out what was real and wasn't. He's getting better as he gets older and I pay him more attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Since no fever, I would probably wait it out too. As long as he can eat, drink, breath and isn't lethargic, I would just continue to monitor at home. Just keep a close eye and make sure he is not having difficulty breathing, though it sounds like he isn't experiencing that. Sounds just like my Dd, so sensitive to any discomfort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 But in general, if the kid is acting fairly normal, I take the wait and see approach and generally it turns out to be nothing. Singing the theme to Dr Who falls under acting normal in my book. I am a wait and see Mom too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 My 6yo ds has had headaches & nausea off and on for the last year or so. For a long time I thought it was just an attention-grabber; he would almost always get them in the evening, usually while eating something that he didn't particularly like, he'd always wake up the next morning completely bouncing off the wall fine, etc. Then at some point it became him actually getting an upset stomach and throwing up in the evening, along with the typical stuff, and I took him to the doctor. They couldn't find anything wrong with him! We did a blood allergy test & still nothing; the doctor told us it was probably some sort of allergy and had him take allergy meds. Anyhow, eventually we decided to do food allergy tests (by diet change) and determined that he was gluten intolerant this whole time!!! Once we cut that out, he did get significantly better. However, he is still having ongoing issues with the occasional stomach upset and headache. We are now trying to determine if he is really just THAT sensitive (to the tiny traces in other things), or if there is some other allergy also at work. It doesn't really fit with the sore throat, but maybe with persistent headaches? Also, remember that it can take 2-3 days for the effect to be seen when something is eaten, and it also can take weeks to get it out of the system when you stop eating certain things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heliconian Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 :iagree: My 8 year old is like this. Well, not quite as extreme maybe, but lots of complaints about pain, etc. He also overreacts whenever he gets hurt. I started keeping a little journal for a while to make sure he wasn't complaining about the same stuff consistently, and that helped rule out what was real and wasn't. He's getting better as he gets older and I pay him more attention. A journal of ailments is a fantastic idea! That will really help me keep my thoughts clear about what's going on with him. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heliconian Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 My 6yo ds has had headaches & nausea off and on for the last year or so. For a long time I thought it was just an attention-grabber; he would almost always get them in the evening, usually while eating something that he didn't particularly like, he'd always wake up the next morning completely bouncing off the wall fine, etc. Then at some point it became him actually getting an upset stomach and throwing up in the evening, along with the typical stuff, and I took him to the doctor. They couldn't find anything wrong with him! We did a blood allergy test & still nothing; the doctor told us it was probably some sort of allergy and had him take allergy meds. Anyhow, eventually we decided to do food allergy tests (by diet change) and determined that he was gluten intolerant this whole time!!! Once we cut that out, he did get significantly better. However, he is still having ongoing issues with the occasional stomach upset and headache. We are now trying to determine if he is really just THAT sensitive (to the tiny traces in other things), or if there is some other allergy also at work. It doesn't really fit with the sore throat, but maybe with persistent headaches? Also, remember that it can take 2-3 days for the effect to be seen when something is eaten, and it also can take weeks to get it out of the system when you stop eating certain things. This is something I've been thinking about. How much is hypersensitivity (he's the same way emotionally) and how much is physiological hypersensitivity. On the other hand, stomach complaints are very rare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 My 8 year old is always complaining about tiny aches and pains as though he was dying. Daily. The issue is, if I took him in every time he complained, I would be there every week. How long can I wait and still be a good mother? Here are some things we did: Have you ever read the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf to him? We used that story when my son was little. After we read it a few times & talked about it, he really understood the idea that we would always be there when he needed help as long as we could trust what he was saying. Another thing we did when he would complain of an ache or pain (which wasn't often) was to very nonchalantly say "If that still bothers you in 30 minutes, come let me know." It let him know that I was willing to listen to him and at the same time I trusted him to keep me in the loop. He rarely came back & when I did, I knew he was really feeling badly. Just some ideas I thought I'd toss out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) My youngest tends to always have a minor complaint and I tend to over-worry--not the best combination! My general strategy is to educate her about whatever condition she is complaining about and what she can do about it. So if it's a headache, that's often caused by dehydration, so she should drink some water. For a sore throat, that's usually the first sign of getting a cold. We keep Halls vitamin C drops around, so she can have one of those. Muscle aches? We usually analyze what activity she did last (ballet or soccer) and try to figure out which stretch or exercise caused the pain. And of course if you don't feel well you should lie down and/or go to bed early, so it's no fun to complain unless you are really sick. Some things do get mentioned at the next doctor's appointment (occasional reflux for instance), so I don't totally write off her complaints. But I try to keep both of us on the calm rational side of things. When we were little and complained of any illness to my dad the doctor, his answer was always that we had leprosy! Edited September 5, 2012 by Ali in OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heliconian Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 Thanks for all the input. Kiddo is feeling sicker today, definitely fighting something off, but still singing except while actually complaining. My impulse is to wait and see, which y'all have happily backed up, but there is one more issue. Hubby and I are going out of town on Friday night to see a blasphemous musical, and the boys will be spending the night with my mother. The guilt that I will have laid upon me if he is sick and has not been to see a doctor may crush me. We shall see... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 A lot of his complaints sound like they could be caused by parasites. http://www.parasite-cleanse.com/intestinal-parasite-symptoms.html I would consider doing a parasite cleanse and if some of them disappear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mybluesky Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 My 8 year old is always complaining about tiny aches and pains as though he was dying. Daily. Headaches, muscle aches, toothaches, excessive itchiness, we've heard about it (usually at bed time). My dd has done this for years. It is caused by anxiety, and is also a delaying tactic at bedtime. She really does feel the symptoms, but they are generally caused by stress. Plus, I think lying still in bed at bedtime she has more of a chance to listen to her body. She is very sensitive in general (tags on clothes, seams on socks, decorations on clothes all bother her). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heliconian Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 It is caused by anxiety, and is also a delaying tactic at bedtime. She really does feel the symptoms, but they are generally caused by stress. Plus, I think lying still in bed at bedtime she has more of a chance to listen to her body. She is very sensitive in general (tags on clothes, seams on socks, decorations on clothes all bother her). This is what I think happens most of the time. It can just be so hard tell how to react to which. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heliconian Posted September 6, 2012 Author Share Posted September 6, 2012 A lot of his complaints sound like they could be caused by parasites. http://www.parasite-cleanse.com/intestinal-parasite-symptoms.html I would consider doing a parasite cleanse and if some of them disappear. Stomach/digestive symptoms are so rarely part of the mix that I don't really think that's the issue. Digestive symptoms seem to lead the pack on parasites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennifersLost Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 While you are doing your symptom journal, also keep track of if they happen when your child is preparing to leave the house, or like another poster said - at night. Lots of physical symptoms are caused by stress/worrry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 I don't about the year of headaches but the sore throat sounds like a cold ds2 and I just had. It started with a sore throat and headache then then it moved into the sinuses. That combined with seasonal allergies and I've been clearing my throat a lot more too. With the cold I felt ok-ish but with sore throat and headache then better but still slight headache then really sick. Hope your ds is better soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keniki Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 (edited) Sore throat and grinding teeth can both be caused by sinus drainage from allergies. I wouldn't make an emergency appointment for this, but I would consider allergy testing. Edited September 6, 2012 by Keniki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 While you are doing your symptom journal, also keep track of if they happen when your child is preparing to leave the house, or like another poster said - at night. Lots of physical symptoms are caused by stress/worrry. Maybe try giving him a pseudo cure, like deep breathing. Teach him to be still for 2-3 minutes and breathe deeply and slowly while concentrating on raising and lowering his diaphram. That will lead to relaxation and perhaps lessen his symptoms. More importantly, it will communicate that you care, that he has control and can do something about how he is feeling - without adding meds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted September 6, 2012 Share Posted September 6, 2012 Adding: the clearing the throat all day could be allergies. The little boy next door has bad allergies and he clears his throat constantly--as in every few seconds. I know he was getting allergy shots for awhile but I'm not sure they've helped much. I suspect that once he started the throat clearing he got so used to it that he does it unconsciously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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