Anyone else own their own business?

[scrapbabe]

Please tell me that one day it will all be worth it. We are four years in and still just eeking by. It has taken a huge toll on our marriage, on my health, and on our family. We are financially strapped and have no insurance. If I could go back in time I would never have agreed to do it. So I'd love for someone to tell me how they coped/are coping, or that it will eventually be worth it. Anyone?

[somo_chickenlady]

My husband owned his own company, and I guess technically still does. He had it for 4 years, and last year he gave up and went back to working outside of the home for someone else. I know that isn't helpful to you, though. I really hope you have better luck than we did. I totally understand, 100%, what you are going through at the moment, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. :(

[scrapbabe]

I always laugh that this is supposed to be the "American Dream"....being your own boss, not having to answer to "the man". Ha..this ain't no dream of mine! :confused:

[somo_chickenlady]

Definitely not mine either! Well, maybe a BAD dream!

[Just Kate]

I watched my brother start his own business and 10 years later it is doing very well (and so is my brother!). I have heard that the first five years are the most difficult, but if you can get through those then things may really start improving.

 

Since this is taking such a toll on your family, is there any way that your dh could move this to more of a side business and also get a paid 9-5 job? Could you work? Just throwing some ideas out there.

 

Once upon a time my dh wanted to start a business and I foolishly went along with it (I say foolishly because we were both so naive and did little research on how this business was really going to work). It was a horrible idea and cost our family dearly (and it was a very short-term thing).

[scrapbabe]

Well it is a fulltme job and would never grow if we did it on the side. We run a karate studio. So he teaches karate 5 hours a night but he is always out adveriising or recruiting new students. Thankfully it is part of a large statewide franchise so we have great mentors to help. We too were foolish and had no idea what to really expect. It is growing and I see that someday we'll probably be doing very well as many of the other schools are. It's just been a steep learning curve. I suppose I could work but I have always been a stay at home mom and we'd like to keep it that way. I think I'd insist that he quit and find another job if it came to that. But we have so much invested in the business right now that it would be crazy to walk away. I still wish we could sometimes though, if he could go back to his old job. The one with the great security and health insurance benefits.

[countrygal]

I felt like a single mom for 3 years while my dh started a dairy farm... down the road! I wanted him to live his dream, I wanted to sacrifice so he could be self-employed and happy. It was HARD. It made me one strong woman because if I didn't get strong, I'd lose my mind or my husband. I voiced my disapproval (without arguing) of how much he had to work at times, acknowledging that I knew he couldn't help it but that this wasn't the 'family farm' that I thought we were going to have (You know, the more family time, closeness, etc...) I felt so torn as well because I didn't want to be the 'thing' that got in the way of his dream and I didn't want him to resent me for it. I TOLD him that. I think that is important, to communicate what you feel about it. We eventually agreed to set a time to call it quits if we couldn't purchase a farm so our house and barn and land were all together so we could be together. I prayed for an answer and we are where God wants us to be right now (2 years later.) We're both happy and have sooooooooooo much more time for each other (probably too much time!)

 

End of the story - some how we ended up purchasing a farm, despite all financial odds. And I even got to quit my job! I thought I was finally going to be out of the farm mess, but we still in it and now we love it.

 

 

Communicate and make a plan. Then pray. God will open and close doors, ones you probably dont' know about!

[scrapbabe]

I felt like a single mom for 3 years while my dh started a dairy farm... down the road! I wanted him to live his dream, I wanted to sacrifice so he could be self-employed and happy. It was HARD. It made me one strong woman because if I didn't get strong, I'd lose my mind or my husband. I voiced my disapproval (without arguing) of how much he had to work at times, acknowledging that I knew he couldn't help it but that this wasn't the 'family farm' that I thought we were going to have (You know, the more family time, closeness, etc...) I felt so torn as well because I didn't want to be the 'thing' that got in the way of his dream and I didn't want him to resent me for it. I TOLD him that. I think that is important, to communicate what you feel about it. We eventually agreed to set a time to call it quits if we couldn't purchase a farm so our house and barn and land were all together so we could be together. I prayed for an answer and we are where God wants us to be right now (2 years later.) We're both happy and have sooooooooooo much more time for each other (probably too much time!)

 

End of the story - some how we ended up purchasing a farm, despite all financial odds. And I even got to quit my job! I thought I was finally going to be out of the farm mess, but we still in it and now we love it.

 

 

Communicate and make a plan. Then pray. God will open and close doors, ones you probably dont' know about!

 

Thank you!

[StephanieZ]

We own our own business. The first two years were more work than I could have ever imagined. The next couple were ok. Then the recession hit, and one more scary year. Then we stabilized, and our business has done well.

 

We are eight years into it now. I'd say that for the past three years, post new owners crises and past the worst of the recession (for us), we are better off, and I am now glad we did it.

 

I'd say that most of the first two years, and most of another year a couple years later, we would have undone it in a heartbeat if it were possible. We cried, we were exhausted, it was horrible. As it was, once we plunged in, it was undoable without personal and business bankruptcy, which, so long as humanly avoidable, was not an option for us, as we had too much to lose.

 

We sacrificed a LOT our first years. Dh worked 100 hr weeks for months on end, and I worked 50-60 hr weeks for about two years. It was harder than anything we have ever done physically, mentally, on our marriage, etc.

 

We emerged stronger than before, wiser than before, and, financially, so far as we can tell, it has been very worth it. We no longer work 100 hr weeks. Dh still works very hard - 50ish hr weeks, but I have managed to extricate myself from substantial hours, and now maybe work 20 hrs a month, mostly from home, stopping by work for a few hours on my own terms, to help staff deal with things they can't handle or to handle major business aspects that dh doesn't have time for (and I am better at).

 

I think sometime about a year ago, our net worth became positive. Lol. Now, however, it goes up very rapidly each year as various debts are retired. If we can keep doing what we are doing, then we will ultimately be much wealthier than if we had not become business owners.

 

My only advice is to hold tight, become the very best you can at what you do, be prudent and careful business people, investing in your business and staff, but never trusting without verifying. Anyone. Only you can make or break your business.

 

Take time for your family. We have ALWAYS taken vacations each year, despite the fact that it is VERY expensive for dh to be away from work - $500/day hard costs to hire a substitute. Nonetheless, he can't survive, and neither can our family, if we don't have time together. So, after about 18 mos of him working 6 day weeks, we found and snapped up a one day a week associate so he gets a two day weekend. And, we have, as I said, always taken at least a couple weeks family vacations each year, plus a couple long weekends each year. You must prioritize health and family time, or there is nothing to be working so hard for.

 

((((hugs))))

 

I hope your business is a success, and I send you strength and faith to get through this time.

[aggieamy]

I like to think that DH and I are on our way to become a small business success story. He and I are both engineers and decided to start our own engineering firm. It's is way more work than I have ever done before and a lot more stress but I love it and don't think I could go back to working for someone else. (I jokingly tell DH that if the business doesn't work out only one of us is putting out resumes and it's not me. :001_smile:)

 

We're entering our third year but only our second of it being our only income. The first year was tough and scary. I would stay awake at night worrying about money and if it was going to work. Now we're in year two and we're getting really close to making the same income with our business that we did working for someone else. That's pretty exciting because it was one of our big goals - just to replace our income from two full-time engineering jobs. It's not easy yet though and I doubt it ever will be. There's times when DH and I are both working late, we're both under deadline and are snapping at each other, and DD has had to keep herself entertained all day.

 

Keep at it though. Eventually the good days start to out number the bad days and you realize that it's a success!

[Mrs Mungo]

I know the martial arts studios do several things in our area to get the word out. One of them does free self-defense classes for military spouses. We set up a class for our spouse group, and it was great word of mouth advertising for them. Do you have local sporting events with cheap advertising? Do you belong to a homeschool group? Could you do homeschool classes during the day once a week? Do you have a website?

Edited September 4, 2012 by Mrs Mungo

[JenniferB]

I think it's worth it, but if I could go back in time I would tell my younger self to do with less and limit indebtedness. At first we took a regular salary on loan, big mistake. I now consider debt kind of like excess weight, am I willing to run on the treadmill for one hour just to work off that bowl of icecream, or would it be easier to do without the icecream and save that treadmill work out and bank it for a rainy day. It took us 10 years to earn a healthy profit and we are using it to dig out of debt and bank some for a rainy day. The secret to our success was to do quality work and keep our expenses and personal salary as lean as possible. We cut our employee help down to bare minimum, stripped advertising down, leaned out what supplies and everything is down to the bare minimum. It's also helpful to have the person who handles personal finances also handle business finances so that person has the big picture overview. For years we had it split, DH did personal and I did business, and when we didn't have enough money from the business DH didn't really understand that. He thought I was just being "strict" or "tight" with the checkbook. Then when he took over the business finances he saw the bleak numbers. Once he accepted it, that we didn't make much profit, he made a bunch of changes and he turned things around. Now we make a good profit.

[JenniferB]

I would also encourage good communication, honest and respectful. And I agree with the other poster who said to make a big picture plan. When the recession hit us (two years earlier than the market meltdown) we had to say, if we can't make this work in one or two years we need a new life. It was very stressful for a while but DH took over the finances and vision for the business and turned it around. The fact that he took over the business bill paying was the biggest positive decision we made, looking back. It was super hard for me too to step down from that roll.

[Carrie12345]

Well it is a fulltme job and would never grow if we did it on the side. We run a karate studio. So he teaches karate 5 hours a night but he is always out adveriising or recruiting new students. Thankfully it is part of a large statewide franchise so we have great mentors to help. We too were foolish and had no idea what to really expect. It is growing and I see that someday we'll probably be doing very well as many of the other schools are. It's just been a steep learning curve. I suppose I could work but I have always been a stay at home mom and we'd like to keep it that way. I think I'd insist that he quit and find another job if it came to that. But we have so much invested in the business right now that it would be crazy to walk away. I still wish we could sometimes though, if he could go back to his old job. The one with the great security and health insurance benefits.

 

Is it possible to rent the space out to someone else during off hours? Bring in other class offerings? (Some of our area studios are used for yoga classes, fencing, etc.)

 

Dh is about to start a new business, but only as partial owner/employee under an existing business. It makes me feel better about the basics (insurance, etc.), but I'm still nervous!