HappyLady Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 So many times I make plans with someone and usually a couple days before we're suppose to do something I get an email/text that says, "I know we have plans, but 'this' is also at that time so I'm going to do that instead. Pick another time that's good for you." I get this all. the. time. :glare: I'm the type of person that if I make plans, then those plans come first. Yes, there are exceptions, but I'd appreciate it if these people would instead say to me, "Oh I just found out that 'this' was going on the same time we were suppose to get together. Would you mind if we rescheduled so I could do 'that' and also see you another time?" Don't people care about people's feelings anymore or am I just too sensitive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I think it's rude. There would be exceptions but they'd have to be very important and not just a social engagement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 You need new friends. That behavior is unacceptable and disrespectful. Noone does that to me more than once. I have plenty of friends; none of us do that to eachother. I have had that kind of thing happen a few times over the years, but I just don't have time to make another date with anyone who pulls that crap, so they fade away out of my life, and my life is full of respectful, responsible, loving people. Occasionally, someone needs to reschedule something due to something that comes up suddenly, an illness, etc, but one just does NOT blow off a plan b/c something "better" comes up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 It is rude. Occasional changes in plans can happen in case of emergency or a forgotten prior commitment, but it should be a rare exception. Changing one's mind because something better came along is ill mannered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiobrain Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 You need new friends. That behavior is unacceptable and disrespectful. Noone does that to me more than once. I have plenty of friends; none of us do that to eachother. I have had that kind of thing happen a few times over the years, but I just don't have time to make another date with anyone who pulls that crap, so they fade away out of my life, and my life is full of respectful, responsible, loving people. Occasionally, someone needs to reschedule something due to something that comes up suddenly, an illness, etc, but one just does NOT blow off a plan b/c something "better" comes up. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 You need new friends. That behavior is unacceptable and disrespectful. Noone does that to me more than once. I have plenty of friends; none of us do that to eachother. I have had that kind of thing happen a few times over the years, but I just don't have time to make another date with anyone who pulls that crap, so they fade away out of my life, and my life is full of respectful, responsible, loving people. Occasionally, someone needs to reschedule something due to something that comes up suddenly, an illness, etc, but one just does NOT blow off a plan b/c something "better" comes up. :iagree: It's different if something important comes up every now and then, but if it's a regular occurrence, these people are not your friends. You're nothing more to them than "the backup plan" if nothing better comes along. I hate it when people do things like that. It's rude and it's hurtful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 To me, it depends. We have work social engagements that come up at the last minute that dh and I *must* attend. Believe me, I would rather not, lol. It is just part of my life. I have friends who have some pretty big issues in their lives that cause last minute changes for other reasons. I think you accept some of that when you become friends with some people. On the *other* hand, I think changing plans because something better came along is unspeakably rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Barring some very good excuse (like work, health, or family issues), I think it's quite rude. I know a couple people like this and I ended up avoiding them and not making plans with them ever. I also know what it's like to make plans and have to backtrack. Pretty early into married and family life when trying to make plans with someone I learned to say "I really need to check my calender. Let me get back to you." Because sometimes my husband has something going on I don't know about, or the kids have some odd event, or whatever. If someone is back tracking constantly, I'd think there was a problem, and I'd think something more interesting rolled along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Unless it's something way too good to pass up, or a rehearsal/practice for the kids that came up last-minute, yeah, it's very rude. Even if it IS something that comes up that's cool, why not say, "Hey, I know we had plans to do X, but Y just came up. Would you be interested in doing that instead?" I've had friends do that before, and it's no problem. If it's something they really want to do, but I don't, that prompts ME to say, "That's not really my thing. Do you want to do Y? We can always reschedule and do X later." I think the fact that you're being dumped for other activities make you feel unimportant, whereas if your friends gave you that other activity as an option, you'd feel like you came before the activity. It's crummy. I've only done it once to someone, and it's because we were given last-minute theater tickets. My friend understood it was a once-in-a-blue-moon thing, but I still felt crummy doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*lifeoftheparty* Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 People do that for field trips ALL. THE. TIME. I schedule my field trips months in advance and give everyone plenty of time to sign-up and then, especially if it's free, I get all these people canceling 2-3 days before the trip... "Oh, so-and-so is coming to visit", "they scheduled a boy scout outing that day", "We have a dentist appt. that day", etc. When so many people do it, regularly, it gets easy to tell who is just lying and flaking out on you and who actually has a legitimate reason to cancel/change plans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 You need new friends. That behavior is unacceptable and disrespectful. Noone does that to me more than once. I have plenty of friends; none of us do that to eachother. I have had that kind of thing happen a few times over the years, but I just don't have time to make another date with anyone who pulls that crap, so they fade away out of my life, and my life is full of respectful, responsible, loving people. Occasionally, someone needs to reschedule something due to something that comes up suddenly, an illness, etc, but one just does NOT blow off a plan b/c something "better" comes up. :iagree: It's different if something important comes up every now and then, but if it's a regular occurrence, these people are not your friends. You're nothing more to them than "the backup plan" if nothing better comes along. I hate it when people do things like that. It's rude and it's hurtful. Yup. I totally get that things come up, even fluffy things that get reshceduled, but I refuse to be the backup plan for someone who doesn't want to spend time with *me*, just wants something to do. (and, really, Cat, I think you should just add "and Angela thinks so, too" to the end of everything. It would save me a lot of typing on my phone. :D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 People do that for field trips ALL. THE. TIME. I schedule my field trips months in advance and give everyone plenty of time to sign-up and then, especially if it's free, I get all these people canceling 2-3 days before the trip... "Oh, so-and-so is coming to visit", "they scheduled a boy scout outing that day", "We have a dentist appt. that day", etc. When so many people do it, regularly, it gets easy to tell who is just lying and flaking out on you and who actually has a legitimate reason to cancel/change plans. When they have to pony up some cash in advance, they are far more likely not to cancel. For some reason, many people think of "free field trips" as optional in terms of attendance, even when they know space is limited and that by not showing up or canceling far enough in advance, they are preventing others from attending. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 UGH! I have a friend who constantly does this to me. She wants to get together next week and I am bracing myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I absolutely hate that. I have a friend that does that (and we see each other so infrequently we have often made our plans months or weeks in advance.) It is frustrating, and I consider it rude as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 it's rude. the message they are giving is "i'll get together with you unless something more interesting comes up." they would move way down my social list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 So many times I make plans with someone and usually a couple days before we're suppose to do something I get an email/text that says, "I know we have plans, but 'this' is also at that time so I'm going to do that instead. Pick another time that's good for you." I get this all. the. time. :glare: I'm the type of person that if I make plans, then those plans come first. Yes, there are exceptions, but I'd appreciate it if these people would instead say to me, "Oh I just found out that 'this' was going on the same time we were suppose to get together. Would you mind if we rescheduled so I could do 'that' and also see you another time?" Don't people care about people's feelings anymore or am I just too sensitive? No you're not over sensitive, and yes that is rude. Generally I think that if you have plans, you have plans. You only cancel if you/family are sick/bereaved, or if there is some other genuinely important but unexpected event happening. It's not on to cancel just because you've gotten a better offer. (Unless it's a close friend you see often, and you have an understanding that the arrangement is only 'penciled in' to do if you feel like it on the day.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 You need new friends. That behavior is unacceptable and disrespectful. Noone does that to me more than once. I have plenty of friends; none of us do that to eachother. I have had that kind of thing happen a few times over the years, but I just don't have time to make another date with anyone who pulls that crap, so they fade away out of my life, and my life is full of respectful, responsible, loving people. Occasionally, someone needs to reschedule something due to something that comes up suddenly, an illness, etc, but one just does NOT blow off a plan b/c something "better" comes up. Agree. It is very rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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