Love and Logic

[BoyOBoy]

Is there anyone here who is familiar enough with the approach/books/method to give an opinion? How did it work (or not work) for you? What do you like/dislike?

I've read Love and Logic for Early Parenthood, and have Parenting with Love and Logic waiting for me at the library.

[PeacefulChaos]

I read parenting with love and logic a few years ago.

The book was ok, but nothing mind-blowing. I seemed kind of common sensical. The authors rubbed me the wrong way sometimes, alluding that 'If your kid grows up and is not x, y, and z (aka perfect), love and logic was not used correctly'. :001_huh: That sort of approach to writing books and parenting methods makes me want to :banghead:

I also didn't like something they mentioned somewhere toward the end - that if a teenager doesn't want to go to church with the family, they don't have to. Obviously that's just one thing. But to me, 'love and logic' doesn't go that far. :D There are house rules, kwim? One of them happens to be that we go to church Sunday morning.

Anyway, I have some friends who loved it. I personally felt it was ho-hum most of the time and aggravating at others.

 

Sorry, I'm sure that isn't at all what you wanted to hear! :leaving: :)

[Little Nyssa]

Overall there were some good suggestions, which I've incorporated, but sometimes I did not care for the authors' tone, either.

[BoyOBoy]

Peaceful Chaos, there really isn't something I do or don't want to hear. That was my initial impression of the Under 6 book - nothing revolutionary. I did find some tools that have proven to be helpful in being consistent. In that book, as well, there is an over simplification of parenting: do it this way and you will have great kids. Though, this seems to be the case of most parenting books. I am reluctant to adopt any approach hook, line and sinker. I felt this book lined up with some of the things we intend to do here, but aren't very consistent with. I tend to be a bit controlling, and I liked this books approach to keeping control by giving some of it away. I also appreciated the emphasis on responsible, independent thinkers. Those are my scattered thought. We have had some success in the last week implementing some of the strategies, but I'd love to hear from the devotees and naysayers alike!

[VA6336]

I think if you are naturally a drill sargent type parent, then there is a good deal of good advice. It's mostly common sense, but for some families it is really helpful. For a friend of mine, it would be a waste of time since their family is naturally very good at allowing children to experience the unmitigated consequences of their choices, and are also good at not dictating everything. I like things MY way and struggle to NOT lecture over things that don't need it. So, the LL books help me refocus sometimes.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I agree with VA6336. Toning it down, not lecturing, letting kids own their own issues, etc is all good. Those are the things easy for a drill sergeant parent to have issues with. And it is consistent which is nice.

 

However, I think Love and Logic is *way* too chatty. The "empathy" is fake as all get out, condescending, and - how can I put this? - not to the point of abusive, but definitely icky. I think there is an issue with "making them sweat" also (though useful occasionally as well as good to give a kid time to mull over the issue themselves; L&L takes it too far, imo). And it is way, way, way too focused on punitive consequences rather than natural/logical ones, relationship, etc.

 

That said, I think it still *could* be a good first step for a struggling parent (just like I think SuperNanny is a good first step for parents). Fact is, there *are* better options, but sometimes you have to start SOMEWHERE and jumping to better options before you have some of the basic principles, like consistency, down can make you feel like "nothing works" when it really is just that the parent is so overwhelmed they can't implement things well, they don't have the basic relationship they need to implement it, etc.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Didn't the books get written before he had children? I don't take advice from people who decide they are experts without the proof to back it up. Some of it is good advice, some of it is not.