Camis, bra straps, and pre-teens

[Amethyst]

Ugh. I've gotten used to the whole bra strap showing thing. When I was my girls' ages, I would have been mortified to have my bra straps showing, but oh well, times change. I get it. My dd15 has worn camis under shirts for a few years now. I'm okay with that too.

 

But today my dd12, who has also worn camis under shirts for a a few years, today comes down wearing a skirt she bought with a white cami as the top. To me camis by themselves look like underwear. Ugh. I also think it just looks too bare for a girl her age. She is a small 12 year old, barely starting to develop up there, but I just think it looks too mature. I checked with dh, and he said, oh well, it's going to be 90 degrees today, let her wear it. Okay, but I hate it. Anyone else have issues with camis, or am I just incredibly backwards?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Look at this. You're not alone!

[Chris in VA]

I have the same opinion as you do re strappy camis.

 

I'd say it's easier to hold firm than it is to let something go and then try to reign it in later, so decide your boundary and stick to it.

[RoughCollie]

I think camis should be worn with something over them, and bra straps should not show. Camis have been around for a long time, and until lately, they were underwear.

 

Here, girls either wear camis by themselves or layer them. The bra straps show.

 

DD wears hers with light tops over them (the tops cannot be worn alone) and wears strapless bras. She bought a bunch of bras that have detachable straps. I didn't have to say a word. She probably became a bit modest from hearing me say, from the time she was around 6, that I was not going to buy clothes that made her look like she dances on tables for a living. By this, I meant she was not going to wear cheap, skimpy, provacative clothes and look like a teenager when she was a mere child.

Edited August 31, 2012 by RoughCollie

[fairfarmhand]

I think camis should be worn with something over them, and bra straps should not show. Camis have been around for a long time, and until lately, they were underwear.

 

Here, girls either wear camis by themselves or layer them. The bra straps show.

 

DD wears hers with light tops over them (the tops cannot be worn alone) and wears strapless bras. She bought a bunch of bras that have detachable straps. I didn't have to say a word.

:iagree:

[bobbeym]

I think camis should be worn with something over them, and bra straps should not show. Camis have been around for a long time, and until lately, they were underwear.

 

Here, girls either wear camis by themselves or layer them. The bra straps show.

 

DD wears hers with light tops over them (the tops cannot be worn alone) and wears strapless bras. She bought a bunch of bras that have detachable straps. I didn't have to say a word. She probably became a bit modest from hearing me say, from the time she was around 6, that I was not going to buy clothes that made her look like she dances on tables for a living. By this, I meant she was not going to wear cheap, skimpy, provacative clothes and look like a teenager when she was a mere child.

 

:iagree:

 

To me, camis are worn under tops that are too short, too low cut, too thin, or completely sheer. Tanks work well for that purpose too.

 

I wouldn't wear a cami or a tank by itself without a shrug, light sweater, or casual partially-buttoned top over it.

[swellmomma]

I don't care how hot it will be, a cami is an undergarment and therefore is not allowed to be worn as a main item of clothing here. I would remind my dd of that and send her back to her room to either layer it or change.

 

As for bra straps, I have no shoulders apparently. I have never found a bra that kept the straps on my shoulders in my whole life, if I tighten them enough to do so it is in the least uncomfortable but usually painful. So they slide off my shoulder constantly, so even wearing a t-shirt the dang straps are showing. So if my dd's straps are showing I have nothing to say to her other than an occasional reminder they are showing if it is obvious she wore a shirt with the thought of it not showiing (like a t-shirt).

[Ferdie]

We are in TX with 100+ degree heat. My dd wears these camisoles at home and out running errands. She puts a shirt over them if she is going to a friends house, to church or on an outing. I know its not proper, but it is just so hot here. Seriously, when we are going to run to the library to return a book and the car is 120+ degrees and the outside temp is 103 degrees, I am okay with a cute cami.

 

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/zbrandskiosk/juniors/so/tops/PRD~840199/SO+Seamless+Camisole.jsp

Edited August 31, 2012 by Ferdie

[Ferdie]

I don't care how hot it will be.

 

Ha, ha, ha....says the person living in Canada.

[TN Mama]

I have the same opinion as you do re strappy camis.

 

I'd say it's easier to hold firm than it is to let something go and then try to reign it in later, so decide your boundary and stick to it.

 

:iagree: :iagree:

 

 

ETA: I completely get "hot" - we're in OK. Triple digits are still in our forecast. No camis.

Edited August 31, 2012 by TN Mama

[AngieW in Texas]

TX here too. It is HOT. Very HOT. Very very HOT.

 

I'm fine with a cami worn as a shirt most of the time. Some camis look more like regular shirts than others though.

 

These camis are clearly outerwear:

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/zbrandskiosk/juniors/candies/tops/PRD~1027315/Candies+Dot+Camisole.jsp

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/zbrandskiosk/juniors/candies/tops/PRD~1076996/Candies+Tiered+Ruffle+Camisole.jsp

http://store.delias.com/product/floral+tiered+cami+306610.do?sortby=ourPicks&from=Search&carousel=true

 

This cami is intended for layering:

http://store.delias.com/product/lace+layering+tank+306321.do?sortby=ourPicks&from=Search&carousel=true

[Haiku]

Just this week we sent our 18 year old dd back upstairs to "get dressed" when she came down to go to school dressed in a cami and yoga pants. Dh looked at her and said, "You forgot to put clothes on over your underwear." She wasn't thrilled but she got the point.

 

Her excuse was that she didn't feel well and just wanted to be comfortable. I told her I was very sorry she was suffering from "Stayeduptoolateskypingwithboyfrienditis."

 

Yeah, we're sarcastic.

 

Tara

[Nestof3]

Those three are so cute.

 

TX here too. It is HOT. Very HOT. Very very HOT.

 

I'm fine with a cami worn as a shirt most of the time. Some camis look more like regular shirts than others though.

 

These camis are clearly outerwear:

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/zbrandskiosk/juniors/candies/tops/PRD~1027315/Candies+Dot+Camisole.jsp

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/zbrandskiosk/juniors/candies/tops/PRD~1076996/Candies+Tiered+Ruffle+Camisole.jsp

http://store.delias.com/product/floral+tiered+cami+306610.do?sortby=ourPicks&from=Search&carousel=true

 

This cami is intended for layering:

http://store.delias.com/product/lace+layering+tank+306321.do?sortby=ourPicks&from=Search&carousel=true

[Amethyst]

Dh looked at her and said, "You forgot to put clothes on over your underwear."

 

Tara

 

Love this. I may borrow it in the future.

[Jeannie in NJ]

my dd always wears her camis under shirts . Regarding the bra straps showing, I told her that when I was a teen, that all the girls would have been mortified to have their bra straps showing. Dd thought that was a strange thing to be concerned about Most of her tops are tanks with cami under and bra straps showing (she is very small up top so not much danger of too much exposure) we joke about this all the time so I am not saying something here that I do not say to her in person

[Amethyst]

Okay, so I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. And I agree, some camis are better suited for outerwear. The one she had on was just very plain white cami. The outfit would have looked lovely on some 20 year old tall thin model who is not my daughter, but I was not comfortable with it. By the time I got off the phone with dh, debating the issue, my dd12 had gone to her room and changed because I had told handed her two possible things to wear over the cami. She had changed and was in her room crying because the mean mommy had told her obviously didn't like her choice in clothes. Oh well. I'm okay with that. So, even though hubby had said it was okay for her to wear the cami out, I ended up getting my way. And I'm glad because like someone said it will be hard to rein her in later.

 

The first thing I said to my dh on the phone was "Can we please agree not to let her buy her own clothes anymore?!" She has on a few occasions this summer gone to the mall without me, and she comes back with clothes that are too mature for her. They're not skimpy, just not right for a 12 year old. Ugh. She's our dd that wants to be a fashion designer some day (another ugh) and so she fancies that she has some sense of style. I hate to burst her bubble, but sometimes I just have to. We just returned something 3 days ago. Ugh.

[Truscifi]

We are in TX with 100+ degree heat. My dd wears these camisoles at home and out running errands. She puts a shirt over them if she is going to a friends house, to church or on an outing. I know its not proper, but it is just so hot here. Seriously, when we are going to run to the library to return a book and the car is 120+ degrees and the outside temp is 103 degrees, I am okay with a cute cami.

 

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/zbrandskiosk/juniors/so/tops/PRD~840199/SO+Seamless+Camisole.jsp

 

Ha, ha, ha....says the person living in Canada.

 

:iagree: I have 2 camis I normally wear as shirts, but they both look more like outerwear. It gets very hot here.

 

Also I'm 9 months pregnant. I have a maternity cami, and I wear it as a shirt too, even though it is a little less cute than the others. At this point, if it covers my belly I'll wear it as a shirt, lol.

[justasque]

Camis usually have built-in bras. It may be that your dd is getting uncomfortable wearing shirts without something else underneath, but if all she has is camis (you didn't mention if she has the option of a bra), then shirt + cami is hotter than cami alone, and she may feel uncomfortable with shirt alone. Time to pick up some sports bras?

[Joyofsixreboot]

Took me awhile to get used to it but my 20 yo wears them all the time. My 14 yo wears them as a shirt around the house but usually puts something over it to go out. I don't mind a tank with thicker straps or ones intended as outwear but am not so crazy about the layering ones by themselves. That said I run around the house in cami's and shorts or yoga pants.

[a27mom]

I can't stand the bra strap showing thing. Drives me nuts.

 

My girls are little but I have decided that they may not wear strappy tank style tops even now because I don't want them to get in the habit for when they need bras. (I had a bra by grade 5, we are top heavy in my family, cami shelf bras are not sufficient support in many cases)

 

They make tank tops that cover your bra straps. The inch extra of fabric does not make you that much hotter.

[earthyfamily]

Well we're very old fashioned I guess. My girls are not even allowed to wear sleeveless shirts. Shirts must have sleeves. So obviously a cami would only be allowed as an undershirt, which my girls are quite often required to wear depending on the neckline and transparency of the shirt. Don't even get me started on the length of dresses/skirts and shorts. :glare: Or swim suits...*grin*

[Amethyst]

Camis usually have built-in bras. It may be that your dd is getting uncomfortable wearing shirts without something else underneath, but if all she has is camis (you didn't mention if she has the option of a bra), then shirt + cami is hotter than cami alone, and she may feel uncomfortable with shirt alone. Time to pick up some sports bras?

 

She is wearing a bra under the cami.

[Amethyst]

 

They make tank tops that cover your bra straps. The inch extra of fabric does not make you that much hotter.

 

I think the outfit we're wrestling about today would be better with a tank top. But I'm not going to run out and buy her a shirt to go with a skirt she bought that I would have discouraged buying if I had been there.

[Amethyst]

Well we're very old fashioned I guess. My girls are not even allowed to wear sleeveless shirts. Shirts must have sleeves. So obviously a cami would only be allowed as an undershirt, which my girls are quite often required to wear depending on the neckline and transparency of the shirt. Don't even get me started on the length of dresses/skirts and shorts. :glare: Or swim suits...*grin*

 

Oh man. I'm not as conservative as that regarding clothing, but man oh man don't get me started on girls' shorts!!!!:eek:

[lailasmum]

I think its a generational thing. I don't think I have ever worn an underwear camisole in my entire life and I don't think I have seen them for sale either though they probably are in M&S or somewhere. I think of them as old fashioned. It's the kind of thing my Nana would have worn or my mum would have worn at boarding school. I wear vest tops or strappy tops all the time, they are definitely outerwear and I wouldn't think twice seeing bra straps. Lots of people colour co-ordinate bra straps for a layered effect or wear two vest type tops one over the other.

 

I suppose the difference it that the underwear camis are that super thin clingy fabric that can almost be see through whereas a vest top/strappy top isn't.

 

Like this sort of thing I wear over a bra and couldn't care less if my bra peeks out.

Edited August 31, 2012 by lailasmum

[brandigirl]

I think Camis are fine when you are young the second you have more than a B cup they can become indecent. I like to wear them with a 36 D and the way you have to work with them is layer them and make sure they are a thick fabric and the MUST be worn with a padded strapless bra that is on the tight side but has absolutely no push up effect. The only way I wear it like this is if I am wearing my extra long ruffled skirt that is past my knees and never with jeans. I usually were this one: http://impelclothing.com/modest-clothing-for-women/modest-layering-camis-for-women.html

 

under this one: http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1920&bih=931&tbm=isch&tbnid=v07g4DpximnutM:&imgrefurl=http://www.cheapalicious.net/2010/07/2-camis-old-navy.html&imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_9c6G66XfcQk/TFHUQ8SqAfI/AAAAAAAAHgo/khjZVaJHlh4/s1600/old%252Bnavy%252Bcami.jpg&w=500&h=547&ei=z-1AUMPcAonkiAKYmoDYDg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=181&vpy=137&dur=3780&hovh=235&hovw=215&tx=170&ty=146&sig=116796328404025877673&page=1&tbnh=150&tbnw=136&start=0&ndsp=55&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:74

 

The bottom one covers cleavage and the top one is worn so that you cant see the tight one underneath.

 

EDIT: Also never white as the top color and none of that Lacey stuff that has no business on a junior :/

[kewb]

I have managed to get over the strap showing but there must be a shirt over the cami. I just got back from bra shopping with my 12 year old. That was torturous. After being fitted and trying on every type of bra we finally found 3 that fit well and are not overly padded.

[brandigirl]

Why padded? I did not start using that till I was almost out of a B cup at 14 they used to have these really nice unpadded cotton bras wish I could remember the name.

[mchel210]

well...I guess I am in the minority...In south florida we call them tank tops? Or tanks with bras inside? I know they are the same as Camis? I have some of those with the thin straps that are adjustable...and a bra inside...I wear them all the time in darker colors like shirts....I wouldnt wear them to a "function" per se or I wouldn't wear if you "show" through them....My girls wear those tank top types all the time. Most of the time I use them to go to the pool or beach...or running errands. Nothing really in doors.

 

I wanted to add...I would say only tops that are not see through...those that you can see through are for under shirts...maybe those without lining?

Edited August 31, 2012 by mchel210

[forty-two]

I wear camis by themselves all the time :leaving:. Including in church. I actually have never thought of them as underwear :001_huh:. I grew up in the heat, and the idea of layering my clothes is :ack2:, even now that I am in the north.

 

I knew there were some people who weren't fans, but this thread suggests there are more of them than I thought. Also, *tanks* as underwear only is completely a new thing to me. But I don't let my bra straps show, so I guess I'm not a *complete* heathen :tongue_smilie:.

 

Eta: All my camis have those built in shelf bras - I'm small chested enough that they are sufficient support - strapless bras are uncomfy - I don't ever wear my bra-less camis.

[rjand6more]

I allow my 10 year old to wear camis with shelf bras all the time in the summer. They are more like tank tops to me. She likes them because she doesn't need to wear a bra in the super hot temps. I do not think it is at all immodest.

[momma2three]

Camis were a popular style when I was a teenager in the 90s. I don't think they're new. Sometimes people wore a brightly colored one under a dark colored one.

[Firefly]

They really don't bother me, unless the wearer of said camisole is spilling out of it. Correct fit is everything!

[Jennifer in MI]

well...I guess I am in the minority...In south florida we call them tank tops? Or tanks with bras inside? I know they are the same as Camis? I have some of those with the thin straps that are adjustable...and a bra inside...I wear them all the time in darker colors like shirts....I wouldnt wear them to a "function" per se or I wouldn't wear if you "show" through them....My girls wear those tank top types all the time. Most of the time I use them to go to the pool or beach...or running errands. Nothing really in doors.

 

I wanted to add...I would say only tops that are not see through...those that you can see through are for under shirts...maybe those without lining?

 

I am in the minority too! And, I'm from Michigan! We don't see them often there, honestly. We are currently visiting Florida and I sure wish I had a few of those camis! It is soooooooo hot! But, I am all about comfort.

 

Today my daughter is in a cute little top like this and I never gave it a thought! But, now, I wonder what other people thought when I let her wear it!

[regentrude]

How is a cami different than a tank top which clearly IS considered outerwear? If what needs to be covered is covered, what else does matter? How is a cami with skirt different from a sundress with thin straps?

I have no problem with camis. I also do not consider female shoulders a body part nobody may see.

And why a barely beginning to develop 12 y/o must wear a bra under her cami is not something I can understand. Bra straps showing, yes, I do find that tacky.

Edited August 31, 2012 by regentrude

[Mimm]

My 11 year old wears camis as just shirts. They are t-shirt material and not at all see through and have a built in bra (she is just starting to develop). I don't see any difference between them and any other spaghetti strap tank top.

[a27mom]

How is a cami different than a tank top which clearly IS considered outerwear? If what needs to be covered is covered, what else does matter? How is a cami with skirt different from a sundress with thin straps?

I have no problem with camis. I also do not consider female shoulders a body part nobody may see.

And why a barely beginning to develop 12 y/o must wear a bra under her cami is not something I can understand. Bra straps showing, yes, I do find that tacky.

 

Well I want to clarify my preference for tank tops, it applies to style of sundress too. I am not concerned about the shoulders showing. I just don't like the bra strap showing look. I am assuming my girls will need bras by the time they reach jr hi. Since that is th case with most woman in my and my husbands family. Spaghetti strap camis are nearly impossible to wear without bra straps exposed. So i am starting the habit of no thin straps outside of the house early. I am not opposed to them if cleavage is supported and completely covered w/o bra straps exposed.

[K&Rs Mom]

I still remember as a mid-teen my big sister tucking my bra strap back under tank strap, saying quietly, "don't advertise." :lol: It wasn't purposely showing, and I was glad she had my back, and clearly it made an impact (since I'm sharing it with the internet 20 years later). Here camis are underwear, tanks are okay as long as the armholes are small enough to cover everything - I guess the difference is strap width.

[Coffeetime]

How is a cami different than a tank top which clearly IS considered outerwear? If what needs to be covered is covered, what else does matter? How is a cami with skirt different from a sundress with thin straps?

I have no problem with camis. I also do not consider female shoulders a body part nobody may see.

 

:iagree: Yup. We just call them tank tops here.

[Stacia]

Ha, ha, ha....says the person living in Canada.

 

I grew up in the heat, and the idea of layering my clothes is :ack2:

 

:iagree:

 

If you live in really hot areas, you realize that layering clothes is a crazy idea. It's easy to get to a heat index of 120 degrees + & layering clothes in those conditions could be bad for your health (heatstroke).

 

I think there are plenty of camis that are fine on their own & some that are not such great looks. But, I think that can be said of all clothing, for the most part.

[Catwoman]

I still hate the bra-strap-showing thing. :glare:

[Stacia]

.

[KidsHappen]

All of my girls wear lightly lined foam cupped bras because the though that someone may be aware that they have n*pples is completely unacceptable. They even sleep in their bras. School dress code does not allow for camis with spaghetti straps but my girls do wear them sometimes when they aren't at school. Of course, then their bra straps show. I hate that and IMO it looks likes white trash. I am constantly telling my dd's not to do that but even the 27 year old still does it. For school tank straps have to as wide as a dollar bill or covered by a cardigan or shrug. My girls layer a lot and sometimes they have a bra strap and several cami straps showing. They always wear compression shorts under all of their clothes as well.

[Haiku]

The first thing I said to my dh on the phone was "Can we please agree not to let her buy her own clothes anymore?!" She has on a few occasions this summer gone to the mall without me, and she comes back with clothes that are too mature for her. They're not skimpy, just not right for a 12 year old. Ugh. She's our dd that wants to be a fashion designer some day (another ugh) and so she fancies that she has some sense of style. I hate to burst her bubble, but sometimes I just have to. We just returned something 3 days ago. Ugh.

 

You're nicer than I am. Clothes that come home that violate my fashion standards go in the trash. They are not returned or exchanged. It took my dd-now-18 three times to get that clear. The third time it was pants she borrowed from a friend. She had to have a rather uncomfortable discussion with her friend about why friend's pants went out with our trash.

 

Tara

[Momling]

I had this issue recently with my 9 yr old foster daughter. Conveniently the public school requires shorts that are to the fingertips (mid thigh), 1 inch wide straps on tanks and no flip-flops. It was so refreshing to just explain that she'd be sent home to change or have to wear loaner clothes if she wore that outfit. It wasn't about me - it's just the school rules!

[73349]

victoriashklanko spam reported

[BlsdMama]

DD14 wears tanks all the time.

 

Camisoles, to me, are clearly more sheer and must be layered.  That said, I have no issue with her wearing just a tank when it's HOT and I think my girls are fairly modest.  But then again, I have no issue with me wearing a tank when it's hot and sticky either.

[BlsdMama]

I don't care how hot it will be, a cami is an undergarment and therefore is not allowed to be worn as a main item of clothing here. I would remind my dd of that and send her back to her room to either layer it or change.

 

As for bra straps, I have no shoulders apparently. I have never found a bra that kept the straps on my shoulders in my whole life, if I tighten them enough to do so it is in the least uncomfortable but usually painful. So they slide off my shoulder constantly, so even wearing a t-shirt the dang straps are showing. So if my dd's straps are showing I have nothing to say to her other than an occasional reminder they are showing if it is obvious she wore a shirt with the thought of it not showiing (like a t-shirt).

 

 

Try racerback or get a clip that attaches your straps in the mid of your back.  (That isn't as uncomfortable as it sounds.)  But it will keep them from slipping.

[...................]

never mind ---zombie thread

Edited June 3, 2016 by Calming Tea

[Tiramisu]

My girls are comfortable with their bra straps showing but they think it's risque if I wear a regular shirt without an undershirt. I don't get it. :001_huh: