Guest Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Kind. No contest in my mind. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Too many grey areas to really give a good answer. I'd rather have a kid who was dumb as a box of rocks but kind than one who was smart but actively unkind. But if we're talking not kind, but still ethical, I might feel different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 but if we're talking not kind, but still ethical, i might feel different. ooh!!! A loophole!!! :d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmoe Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I voted smart. I feel that a smart kid can learn to be kind. I think kindness is a learned behavior. A smart kid could choose to be kind. A kind but dopey kid could never learn to be smart. And not all dopey kids are kind either. Maybe being dopey would make it harder to learn to be kind. I don't know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I voted smart. I feel that a smart kid can learn to be kind. I think kindness is a learned behavior. A smart kid could choose to be kind. A kind but dopey kid could never learn to be smart. And not all dopey kids are kind either. Maybe being dopey would make it harder to learn to be kind. I don't know! FINALLY! :hurray: I'm sorry to get all excited like this, but hey, 20 people voted for smart, but FINALLY someone besides me is willing to admit it! CUPCAKES FOR EVERYONE!!! :party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Tough question! I want her to be both and I value them equally and highly. I chose smart to be kind because sometimes you might come across as mean when you just don't know any better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) I voted smart. I feel that a smart kid can learn to be kind. I think kindness is a learned behavior. A smart kid could choose to be kind. A kind but dopey kid could never learn to be smart. :iagree: Edited August 31, 2012 by regentrude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Well Kindness is an action. Intelligence is a natural trait. You can choose to be kind. You don't get as much choice when it comes to intellectual capability. As the mom of a child on the autism spectrum, I would say that empathy is something that is a natural trait. Kind behavior may be a choice, but that behavior comes more naturally to certain individuals. My NT children learn manners and acting in an unselfish manner a LOT more easily than my autistic child. My autistic DD can be very sweet and loving at times but she is way more self-centered at any given functional age than my NT kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Kind...A friend brought this article to my attention today that speaks to this directly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Oh my. No, im not reprimanding anyone. I'm sorry it's come across that way. I don't mind if you are, because I was. :tongue_smilie: Yesterday was an interesting day around here and today looks to be just as, well, interesting. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 FINALLY! :hurray: I'm sorry to get all excited like this, but hey, 20 people voted for smart, but FINALLY someone besides me is willing to admit it! CUPCAKES FOR EVERYONE!!! :party: I voted smart. I can help to cultivate their kindness. There's only so much genuine INTELLIGENCE I can squeeze out of them, no matter what curriculum I choose. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhudson Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I struggle with this question because it seems like lately I have had several conversations with homeschoolers who say that they homeschool for Biblical and character issues so the academics come secondary. This reasoning makes me a bit twitchy. I think our kids should be trained to be kind and generous and Godly but I also want them well- educated and to me, they should never be mutually exclusive. I want to understand but I just don't. Why does one have to focus on either/ or? Why not both? You know, there always has to be atleast one who skews the poll and I guess it's me.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I struggle with this question because it seems like lately I have had several conversations with homeschoolers who say that they homeschool for Biblical and character issues so the academics come secondary. This reasoning makes me a bit twitchy. I think our kids should be trained to be kind and generous and Godly but I also want them well- educated and to me, they should never be mutually exclusive. I want to understand but I just don't. Why does one have to focus on either/ or? Why not both? You know, there always has to be atleast one who skews the poll and I guess it's me.;) I already demonstrated my unkindness and skewed it first by saying that it isn't an either/or proposition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I already demonstrated my unkindness and skewed it first by saying that it isn't an either/or proposition. :iagree: One is a virtue, the other is an ability. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I definitely focus more on the kind. I don't think the smart matters unless you're kind. Being Mensa-type people, we're around smart people a good bit, but some of them aren't really all that nice. Meanwhile, I know some people who I'd rather spend time with who maybe don't have as much in the conventional intelligence area, but they're so genuinely kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 (edited) Sometimes I wonder if kindness is not so much a character issue, as an element of a person's temperament, which is at least partly inherited. The University of Minnesota twin studies have addressed the issue of inheritable traits, including kindness, but I cannot access any of the articles online without paying for them, which I'm not going to do. Obviously, I don't know much about this since I wonder about it. I'd like my kids to be smart (have high IQs) and kind. It is possible to be both. Edited September 1, 2012 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I voted "other". I don't think defining yourself as being "the smart one" or "the kind one" is a good thing. I would not choose either label for my kids. :iagree: Your post inspired me to pick other! lol :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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