Thinking about going back to school (not JAWM)

[catz]

I don't want to be discouraging. And you aren't me. But I can't imagine trying to do that at this point. I have only 2 kids. Med students and doctors essentially have very little time for life.

 

My closest friend doctor said she regretted medical school once she had her first child because it was so demanding a career choice. Especially when you're going through a residency etc. The 3 female doctor friends I know that are still doing it each only had one child. The couple other female doctor friends that have 2 kids actually finished up their residency before having kids and ended up just doing something very part time (one is a ped and one works in an urgent care, which she said is not very rewarding. Both do more boring work in a nutshell.).

 

I'm not trying to be discouraging either, but I think something does have to give to live the life of a med student and then a doctor. Is your husband ready to take on more child care?

 

I believe it is an unfortunate misnomer that teens need a stay at home mom less than babies/toddlers do.

 

:iagree:

 

I went to college and receieved multiple degrees before I had kids. And if I hadn't, I would definitely be itching to finish my education. I totally get it. Med school is just a huge commitment and will involve handing your kids off to someone else to parent. I would look closely at all the options. And I'd look at trying to finish an undergrad degree that could lead to other places at this point. I think finishing the undergrad degree is a great, reasonable idea and leave your options open.

[ezrabean2005]

Part of this is coming from the fact that dh wants to be done having babies and I don't think it would be good for me or my family for me to just be a SAHM and not work towards a career. We are very blue-collar and with all of our children I think it would be wise for me to use my brains and talents to better our lives. I always thought we would continue having children and I would be home full time but that is looking less and less likely. :(

 

WDYT?

 

What would you do if your DH wanted to continue having babies? Isn't the purpose of having babies to see how they turn out? I'm not saying that you won't be able to if you are working (DH and I both work full time), but what you are suggesting is so far beyond this.

 

I wouldn't recommend it for you or for your family. You do sound lost and dissatisfied, but that could be because 1) you still have a whole lot of tiny kids or 2) this is newer news that DH is done having kids and you may just be accepting this.

 

:grouphug: I'm sure this is hard right now for you. But if you were widowed, you would cross that bridge when you came to it. It doesn't make sense to cause a huge family upheaval for something that is not likely to happen. If you really want a degree to fall back on, I'd recommend some skill related work like doing taxes or becoming an accountant. It's not sexy, but it is marketable. Just my thoughts...

Edited August 30, 2012 by ezrabean2005

[MolleenCarie]

I have known you online for a few years, here as well as other boards, and usually the threads about going back to school are followed by a pregnancy announcement thread in the following weeks. I think it might be a sign of pregnancy for you, like nausea is for others. So, congrats on baby no 7. ;)

[PIE!]

As my dh said in his third year of med school, "Friends don't let friends go to medical school."

 

DH started med school when our youngest wasn't yet one. We've had three more kids since, and he's in his last year of residency. During the first two years he sacrificed his grades to give us ONE HOUR of family time six days a week, plus most of Sunday. He got b's and c's, when he could have been getting a's and b's because he was giving up that time. We knew people whose kids literally didn't know who they were.

 

After that things were slightly better, but he's still gone quite a bit of the time. It wouldn't work if I wasn't a SAHM. He's got to be available for some things at the drop of a hat, which means I always need to be available for the kids. Does your DH want to take on the full time dad role? Would you get a live-in nanny?

 

Don't get into it for the money. We've been at this for years and are quite broke. We have just enough for our needs now because the loans are being deferred through residency. It's going to take us a long time to pay them off. If you start this, you won't likely have your loans paid off until all your kids are out of the house.

 

If you want to help people, there are better jobs for helping people.

If you want to pursue something intellectually challenging, there are better jobs for that.

If you want to make a lot of money, there are so many better jobs for that.

 

Basically, the only reason you should go to medical school is if you cannot imagine possibly being happy any other way. That is why dh is a doctor. He would not be happy doing ANYTHING else. If you do this it would mean giving up being much of a mom and wife, and anything else.

 

I would seriously look into all the options you have. If you love being a mom, don't go to medical school. If there is any other job that appeals to you, it's likely a better choice.

[Melinda in VT]

I am baffled by the attitude toward motherhood that I'm getting from your posts in this thread.

 

Why does not being able to have more babies make being a SAHM any less fulfilling of a role? Kids need their parents for so much beyond the baby and toddler years.

 

I can't believe that your other kids don't need you. I think it more likely that since you are home all day you don't realize the many ways they look to you for help or direction during the day.

 

I am not a med student or a doctor, but I am an employed mother of four kids. I think you are being extremely unrealistic if you think you can keep a strong relationship with six kids while being in medical school.

[meggie]

I'm saying this because I like you: Please don't do this. I'm going to have to agree with Audrey (and others).

 

You know how a couple weeks ago we realized that we both have a tendency to freak out about the future, research going back to school like crazy, and see what we can do for money? I think you're probably in the middle of that cycle.

 

Your angst seems to come from not feeling fulfilled somehow. I think your view of nurses and what they do is skewed and I think you're grossly underestimating the toll medical school will take.

 

You know what happened when I signed up for my Coursera courses? I lasted one week. And then decided it wasn't worth it. Yes, I think going back to school is a good and worthy goal, but I recommend you try a free course or two before even doing some undergrad work. Treat it like a for credit class and see if you can easily fit that into your life. If yes, then go for the undergrad. I would explore further options in the medical field; there is a lot more than just doctors and nurses.

[Nakia]

I am going to be painfully honest here. There is no way in he!! I would go to nursing or med school with that many kids at those ages. I would, however, consider doing one class at a time for an undergraduate degree.

 

I went through nursing school as a single woman, then married halfway through. My life, even when I married, revolved around school. Very few of the people in m nursing class who had children made it through. I imagine it would be even harder for med school. I work with med residents. They work all.the.time. It's craziness! The worst part is that someone else is raising their children while they pull 80 hour weeks. I'm just being honest; they will tell you the same thing. :(

 

I love being a nurse! I think nursing is so diverse that you could find an area you love. But nursing school (or whatever you choose) will still be there when your babies are grown. And there are truly so many programs that you could start when your kids are a bit older, including part-time weekend and evening programs. I'm pretty sure there are also the same type of programs for other degrees that have been discussed here such as US tech. What about PT assistance or OT assistant? Those are fast growing, well paying jobs! Someone might have mentioned those already.

 

Anyway, I hope everything goes well for you. :grouphug:

[Laura in STL]

I have to say honestly that I would not recommend that with the number and ages of your children. I have been a med school wife and mom - my dh is out practicing now. I totally agree with the posters above who are living through the med school/residency time right now. The financial commitment is huge. You will be six figures in debt. In order to do well you have to put so much time into this process. They have changed some of the rules about how long residents can work, but I know several who say they are required to do paperwork, etc that doesn't get included in those hours. Both of our dc were born during internship/residency. My dh doesn't remember much about them as babies. It's sad to say that, but it's true. I remember taking them to see him for a few minutes in the hospital parking lot because they were almost always asleep during the few hours he was home. My oldest was so used to him not coming home at night that he used to say, "See you 'morrow, Daddy" anytime dh left a room. Dh has been out of residency for a while but we still have loans, and he works crazy long hours. Today he left the house at 6:30am and he is still doing paperwork at 8:30pm. Our family would not have made it through that without me being a full-time SAHM. There are many fulfilling careers that you could pursue as a mom that would not require such a sacrifice, and that would help you earn a comfortable living for your family.

[Loudwater School]

I am considering doing something like this right now for most of the same reasons, only I'm a single mom. I will need to work when my kids are grown, and I don't want to get to fifty and end up doing retail.

 

But, I am unwilling to do something that keeps me from being able to homeschool even my teens. My mom worked two full-time jobs, and I never saw her, and we had no relationship. While she was gone, my brother and I were alternately neglected and tormented by a string of sadistic substitute caregivers, including the public school system. Yes, I do sometimes say to myself, "If Mom could do that, I can do this," but I think I would have been able to say that if she only worked forty hour weeks too. And then I might have spent ages seven to twelve believing that my parent loved and enjoyed me. All I saw was a mom who was desperate and determined to get away from me as much as possible. As an adult, I can go back over those memories and see that I was misreading her cues rather badly, but I didn't have that maturity as a stressed out seven-year-old being shuffled from school to babysitter.

 

All that said, I want to and mean to cheer you on. I think you can go to school slowly for a fantastically fulfilling medical career and still be present with your children. I'm not really sure a doctor is the end goal for that, though.

[I.Dup.]

Whew! Thank you for all of your caring advice. I know it comes from a place of caring, even though I am a stranger, and that really means a LOT. So thank you. You all have certainly given me pause and I'm sure I won't end up going through with medical school when all is said and done. I'm sure I will take the slower, calmer track, most likely the ultrasound tech over the nursing because I am still worried about the diapers and the mucus in the trachs and all the nasty stuff that I'd really rather not deal with.

 

I mean your signature line say you can barely correct typos. Is that going to improve when you're writing something for a grade?

 

It would certainly have to! :D I took a class last year and did great. I could make time if I had to, but of course it would take a huge sacrifice.

 

I say go for it. You said you still have some undergrad work to do, so start taking a class each semester. By the time your littlest one is school age you will have your undergrad degree and can then think about moving on to med school if you still want to. If you do nothing, you'll still be dreaming about it in four years but no closer to making it a reality.

 

Thank you. I do think I'm going to get more serious about taking classes more consistently.

 

This will not be a popular opinion, but.... I think your boat has probably sailed on that. I think that if there ever is a time to seek a university degree (and I don't even think everyone needs or should pursue one), then that time is when you are unattached or at least child-free. Once you have a family, that should be the foremost priority.

 

I truly do not see going back to school as a positive thing for most people (note I said, most, not all). It costs far more than it is usually worth. If you have to get loans, those will eat you alive for many years. Everyone always thinks it won't be that bad, but then it is always far worse than they ever imagined. There are extremely few people to whom I'd ever say "Great! Good luck" to on the idea of returning to school. And then, I'd still be worried for them financially.

 

That all said, I might say that nursing could be a good financial reason to go back. I say 'might' because I know there is a nursing shortage, but I also know a lot of nurses (IRL and on various forums) who can only seem to find part-time or casual work. That isn't going to pay back those nasty student loans, which are evil in themselves, but that's a whole 'nother rant.

 

Right, I do too (to the bolded). My friend who is a nurse tells me horror stories of doctors yelling at her and throwing things at her in the OR, I have a hard time believing that but this is a very devout, honest woman. I just can't believe some of what I hear. And that's not including the grossness factor.

 

Personally, I have some conflict working even part time, so perhaps I'm not the one to advise, but...

 

You are in the thick of parenting right now. It may seem (and it's kinda puzzling to hear you say) that your 5 boys, who are 8 and under by your signature, "hardly need you at all," but believe me, they do.

 

You made a lot of good points. I didn't mean to say my young ones hardly need me, but it is amazing to me how my older boys...I don't know how to say this without sounding like I am totally ignorant...but they really are very independent and as long as they have some game time and each other they are pretty happy kids. I factor in mainly to give them food and I know that will just become more the case as they get older. My daughter is another story. My little ones, of course, still need me, and I would not be able to start being gone full time anytime soon, anyway. But I honestly don't worry all that much about my boys. (this is coming from someone who homeschools for a large reason to shelter my kids so please don't think I'm the type to hand them off to anyone-- I am not like that at ALL, these are just my honest thoughts).

 

I was telling my dh last night that I'm scared to death of just becoming a chauffeur and a cook. I can hire those if I had to, what will that get me in 20 years?

 

If you want freedom and authority in the medical field, become a hospital administrator, or someone high up in medical malpractice. Those people dictate a huge portion of medical practice.

 

Look, I don't want to burst your bubble, but some dreams are so time intensive, and so expensive to attain, you might lose your marriage or some the relationships with your kids in the process.

 

Have you considered what you would do if you put in all that blood, sweat, and tears, and you got dinged, or restricted, or lost your hospital privileges because you got sued? Many, many doctors get sued and find that their autonomy to practice hinges more and more on rules and procedures handed down by hospital administrators and insurance companies. Some even lose their license to practice due to too many suits, and suits can happen over anything, and for many things that are outside the control of a physician.

 

So, you can can decide to go against hospital rules, but then you become more vulnerable to a malpractice suit.

 

Have you considered how many money malpractice costs? Depending on the field you go in, it can range from $80,000 to well over $300,000 a year.

 

I once wanted to be a nurse, and I went all the way through the program to mid way through clinicals. I was and am fascinated by the human body and health issues. But I found that the professional, physical, and financial trade offs of the field to more than outweigh job security and a good wage. No way was I going to go put myself in anymore debt (I wanted to be a Nurse Midwife) and practice in a field littered with litigious action, that could compromise the very license I worked so **** hard to get in the first place.

 

For these reasons and more, I admire physicians like Alice, and other medical providers for the sacrifice and hard work they put in for their service. They more than earn those high salaries, and I'd argue they're mostly underpaid as a group.

 

Don't go into something like medical school without considering these and many other costs of the program that you can't necessarily quantify or predict at this stage.

 

Other well-paid, intellectually challenging (and stabler) fields I would investigate:

 

Biology

Microbiology

Virology

Public Health/Epidemiology

Environmental Health

 

Thank you for sharing and I appreciate the suggestions. You bring up a lot of good points as well. I really don't know much about what the job market is like for the things you mentioned. They seem to be either government jobs or highly competitive to get into and established?

[I.Dup.]

My husband is in medical school right now (3rd year). <snip>

 

As my dh said in his third year of med school, "Friends don't let friends go to medical school."

 

<snip>

 

Thank you all for sharing what your experience has been like. G.Beth you mentioned there are so many other jobs that can make good money and to me, it just seems like everything I think of is either a) INSANELY competitive/sales oriented or 2) well, I guess just insanely competitive/sales oriented. I can't think of much else I could go to school for, get out and have a really good chance of getting a well-paying job doing something that I don't absolutely detest (and I have heard stories from first and second year nurses- not pretty).

 

Diane, thank you for sharing your experience as a nurse, that is good to know it's not always vomit and poop and mucus. :tongue_smilie:

I have known you online for a few years, here as well as other boards, and usually the threads about going back to school are followed by a pregnancy announcement thread in the following weeks. I think it might be a sign of pregnancy for you, like nausea is for others. So, congrats on baby no 7. ;)

 

:lol:

 

 

I am baffled by the attitude toward motherhood that I'm getting from your posts in this thread.

 

Why does not being able to have more babies make being a SAHM any less fulfilling of a role? Kids need their parents for so much beyond the baby and toddler years.

 

I can't believe that your other kids don't need you. I think it more likely that since you are home all day you don't realize the many ways they look to you for help or direction during the day.

 

I am not a med student or a doctor, but I am an employed mother of four kids. I think you are being extremely unrealistic if you think you can keep a strong relationship with six kids while being in medical school.

 

Like I said above, I didn't truly mean that my kids don't need me (even if that's what I said :lol:) but that they are becoming so independent and I guess I'm trying to find my place in all of it.

 

 

I'm saying this because I like you: Please don't do this. I'm going to have to agree with Audrey (and others).

 

You know how a couple weeks ago we realized that we both have a tendency to freak out about the future, research going back to school like crazy, and see what we can do for money? I think you're probably in the middle of that cycle.

 

Your angst seems to come from not feeling fulfilled somehow. I think your view of nurses and what they do is skewed and I think you're grossly underestimating the toll medical school will take.

 

You know what happened when I signed up for my Coursera courses? I lasted one week. And then decided it wasn't worth it. Yes, I think going back to school is a good and worthy goal, but I recommend you try a free course or two before even doing some undergrad work. Treat it like a for credit class and see if you can easily fit that into your life. If yes, then go for the undergrad. I would explore further options in the medical field; there is a lot more than just doctors and nurses.

 

Thank you. I did take a course last year and it was largely a very good experience. I could have handled 1 or 2 more at the time, and I did enjoy being in school. But I know med school would be a whole different ballgame. Thanks for understanding. :001_smile:

 

 

I am going to be painfully honest here. There is no way in he!! I would go to nursing or med school with that many kids at those ages. I would, however, consider doing one class at a time for an undergraduate degree.

 

I went through nursing school as a single woman, then married halfway through. My life, even when I married, revolved around school. Very few of the people in m nursing class who had children made it through. I imagine it would be even harder for med school. I work with med residents. They work all.the.time. It's craziness! The worst part is that someone else is raising their children while they pull 80 hour weeks. I'm just being honest; they will tell you the same thing.

 

I love being a nurse! I think nursing is so diverse that you could find an area you love. But nursing school (or whatever you choose) will still be there when your babies are grown. And there are truly so many programs that you could start when your kids are a bit older, including part-time weekend and evening programs. I'm pretty sure there are also the same type of programs for other degrees that have been discussed here such as US tech. What about PT assistance or OT assistant? Those are fast growing, well paying jobs! Someone might have mentioned those already.

 

Anyway, I hope everything goes well for you.

 

Thank you :001_smile:

 

 

I have to say honestly that I would not recommend that with the number and ages of your children. I have been a med school wife and mom - my dh is out practicing now. I totally agree with the posters above who are living through the med school/residency time right now. The financial commitment is huge. You will be six figures in debt. In order to do well you have to put so much time into this process. They have changed some of the rules about how long residents can work, but I know several who say they are required to do paperwork, etc that doesn't get included in those hours. Both of our dc were born during internship/residency. My dh doesn't remember much about them as babies. It's sad to say that, but it's true. I remember taking them to see him for a few minutes in the hospital parking lot because they were almost always asleep during the few hours he was home. My oldest was so used to him not coming home at night that he used to say, "See you 'morrow, Daddy" anytime dh left a room. Dh has been out of residency for a while but we still have loans, and he works crazy long hours. Today he left the house at 6:30am and he is still doing paperwork at 8:30pm. Our family would not have made it through that without me being a full-time SAHM. There are many fulfilling careers that you could pursue as a mom that would not require such a sacrifice, and that would help you earn a comfortable living for your family.

 

Thank you, too, for sharing your experience. I'm sorry that your dh missed out on so much. :(

 

 

I am considering doing something like this right now for most of the same reasons, only I'm a single mom. I will need to work when my kids are grown, and I don't want to get to fifty and end up doing retail.

 

But, I am unwilling to do something that keeps me from being able to homeschool even my teens. My mom worked two full-time jobs, and I never saw her, and we had no relationship. While she was gone, my brother and I were alternately neglected and tormented by a string of sadistic substitute caregivers, including the public school system. Yes, I do sometimes say to myself, "If Mom could do that, I can do this," but I think I would have been able to say that if she only worked forty hour weeks too. And then I might have spent ages seven to twelve believing that my parent loved and enjoyed me. All I saw was a mom who was desperate and determined to get away from me as much as possible. As an adult, I can go back over those memories and see that I was misreading her cues rather badly, but I didn't have that maturity as a stressed out seven-year-old being shuffled from school to babysitter.

 

All that said, I want to and mean to cheer you on. I think you can go to school slowly for a fantastically fulfilling medical career and still be present with your children. I'm not really sure a doctor is the end goal for that, though.

 

I'm sorry you went through that with your mom. :( Thank you for sharing.

[Joanne]

When I returned to school, my kids were all 10+ (and I have 3).

 

I'm a bit..........irritated at some of the responses here; especially the ones that disparage you for wanting to be more than "Mom". (Edited to add that I have become more feminist in my thinking over the last 10 years. I don't require a Mom to require money in order for her desire for a career or educaiton to be valid.)

 

That said, I think med school for your family constellation is unrealistic.

Edited August 31, 2012 by Joanne

[Brigitte]

I do know I would not make good money as a resident, but $40,000 is still more than I could make as a nurse and definitely more than I am making now (my friend was making almost $50,000 as a resident and that was 4 years ago).

 

My niece graduated from nursing school last year and started at $50,000/year, great benefits, and a sign-on bonus. My sister has her 2 year RN (associates degree), and she is making in the $60k-$70 range at a health club. Around here nurses can write their own ticket - sign on bonuses, nice salaries, pick their hours, etc. Some hosiptal systems are so desperate for nurses they are paying for their schooling in exchange for a 2-3 year job commitment. Hospitals and doctor's offices are more dependent than ever on their RN's and are paying handsomely for it. Perhaps all this is regional, but I do know that this is the case here in VA, TN, NC, and other places I have lived.

[ktgrok]

Do you live somewhere where Certified Professional Midwives are recognized and legal? 3 years of schooling, own your own business, set your own hours, and decent money. Certainly rewarding...all the ones I know are very very happy with what they do.

[busymama7]

Do you live somewhere where Certified Professional Midwives are recognized and legal? 3 years of schooling, own your own business, set your own hours, and decent money. Certainly rewarding...all the ones I know are very very happy with what they do.

 

 

:iagree: except Im not a CPM but I am a legal Direct Entry Midwife. I LOVE it and it really is good money for how part time it is. I could be busier if I chose, but with as many children and their ages and not willing to put them in school I have to limit my practice to 1-2 births a month. I end up attending more due to assisting other MW's and such but still it is very very manageable. I do my prenatals on saturdays so I dont interfer with school and while the day after a long birth is pretty much shot, we have learned to roll with it and work around it. There are many midwives in my town making 60,000-80,000 a year or even more but they are busier than me. They still consider it part-time though :D esp the one who used to be a CNM in a hospital practice. I would reccomend Ancient Art Midwifery Institute if you decide to look into it.

Edited August 31, 2012 by busymama7
spelling

[xixstar]

What I keep hearing in your posts is that you are concerned about your future and not certain that fulltime mothering of older children will be the right fit for you. I have no problem with people realizing that being a fulltime mom is their calling and I respect it greatly because I see moms that rock the working and parenting gig and some that would probably be happier not being home fulltime.

 

I would address your financial concerns of being secure in future plans and meeting your family's needs. I make no assumptions but having a solid financial plan works well if you make 30k a year or 300k. I personally like the Dave Ramsey method but it isn't for everyone. But good planning will ease retirement concerns and also make sure you have enough life insurance so that you don't have to fear the financial implications of losing your spouse. Divorce is something different and I don't personally know how to have a good contingency plan there but I sure it can be done. I don't equate blue collar with limited potential.

 

I think looking at career options based solely on random feedback and potential earnings would set up a very insecure future. I would instead look at what you love and is reasonable to pursue giving your situation and run with passion fueling your actions more than potential dollars. Good luck finding your path forward.

[justLisa]

When I returned to school, my kids were all 10+ (and I have 3).

 

I'm a bit..........irritated at some of the responses here; especially the ones that disparage you for wanting to be more than "Mom". (Edited to add that I have become more feminist in my thinking over the last 10 years. I don't require a Mom to require money in order for her desire for a career or educaiton to be valid.)

 

That said, I think med school for your family constellation is unrealistic.

 

I don't think anyone here believes ANY mother does not deserve to be more than just a MOTHER.

 

OP asked about going back to medical school. I think it is unreasonable. However, I would never think she should not seek some self satisfaction and attend college if that is what she would like to do for a sense of fulfillment. Just not something that would take her away from her family for years.

[Danestress]

You can buy a fair amount of term life insurance on you DH for a couPle of hundred a month. That is a bargain compared to medical school and would help with the 'don't want to work at walmart" issues.

[Joanne]

I don't think anyone here believes ANY mother does not deserve to be more than just a MOTHER.

 

OP asked about going back to medical school. I think it is unreasonable. However, I would never think she should not seek some self satisfaction and attend college if that is what she would like to do for a sense of fulfillment. Just not something that would take her away from her family for years.

 

There is a lot of rhetoric about how much teens need mom, about the *fact* that the relationships will suffer, .............

[Joker]

It's taken me years to just get my A.A. degree, and I only have two kids. I can't imagine trying to take on medical school and still be the wife and mom I am right now. I have found a happy balance taking a few classes and still being a very hands on mom.

 

Next year, both dds will be in school and I will probably go back to work, but only part time. They actually will still need me a great deal to go to music lessons, run club, help with homework, and other various activites. The next year they will need me to help do all of the above, but add in drop off and pick up at two different schools with two different start and end times.

 

I don't think I'm just their driver/maid/etc. We have great conversations in the car to and from activities and we often have a lot of fun/good talks about their school day when I pick them up. I don't want to miss out on those parts of their life. As they get older, we have more to talk about and I feel fortunate to be there when they're ready to talk.

 

I'm not saying you should not go back to school, but maybe look into more realistic options that won't take up so much of your time. I think your kids probably need you more than you think.

[Jennifer3141]

Blessed, as a feminist I don't want to discourage you and I think you could have medical school in the back of your head as you finish your undergrad work. And frankly, there's a coming huge crisis in our country due to a shortage of doctors.

 

But wow. DH loved medical school and loved parts of residency but there are giant swaths of our lives he just missed completely. He barely made it to the birth of our son - my mom was loading us into the car when DH finally got permission to leave work and come get me (don't even think of birthing another baby during the cardiology rotation!!). And he stayed for about half an hour after DS was born because he had to finish rounding. And I had to birth in that particular hospital, even though I didn't want to because I knew he wouldn't be there otherwise.

 

My best friend ended up picking me up and taking me home when I got discharged because DH was 4 hours late. To this day, we still battle over it because he keeps saying, "Oh the hospital would have let you stay if you had just asked!" Uh no, they wouldn't. They brought the wheelchair to my room and pointedly stood there until I grabbed all our stuff. I was in tears on my cell phone to my best friend who left work to rescue me. I have to stop writing about it or I'll punch DH in the nose. :D

 

He's mostly happily practicing now but he gets wistful about what he's missed and what he's going to keep missing as time goes on. And medicine is a WILD ride right now. Every year we start out getting warnings from Medicare that DH's reimbursements will be slashed by 20% or more. So far, that hasn't happened (because it would collapse the American medical system if DH's specialty all just walked out of the hospitals around the country) but it has happened to other specialties like cardiology.

 

The regulations and our complicated healthcare system drive him nuts. We haven't had to deal with a malpractice suit yet but we're fully aware that we will someday. We've both been utterly shocked by the outright greed by some people in the medical field. Residency is supposed to be low paying to teach you some humility and make you hungry to graduate and earn more. What it seems to be doing to more people is making them feel taken advantage of so that when they do graduate, they are willing to fudge the numbers a bit. DH has been shocked at the amount of fraud he has seen at some places and how darn blatant it has been. I remember being at an Xmas party with him and the host joked that he was going to document the party as consulting on one of his Medicare patients because he likes to bill Medicare while he does other things. :glare:

 

All that being said, a woman I babysat for years for went to medical school and became a pediatrician when her children were the ages of your youngers. She's a fabulous doctor supposedly. And she was a very nice person to me as a babysitter. She was also married to a very wealthy man so they had nannies and housekeepers and new, fancy cars for this woman to drive back and forth from southern Michigan to medical school in Chicago. This woman's son committed suicide when he was 16ish. I would never blame it on her profession but as I grew older myself and had my own kids, I always wondered if she felt any guilt over losing so much of her children's early childhood. I think I would.

 

In my DH's field, you really cannot be the mom and do this kind of work unless you are ready to let primary care of your children go. If your child is sick and needs you but you have to work 7:00 pm until 7:00 am, you go. And tough cookies to your kid. There are part time women in his field and they aren't openly looked down on but they aren't treated as equally if they are "mommy moms." Your colleagues may not like working longer hours because you have to go pick up a sick child from school too many times and you may find yourself subtly stymied career wise. However, if you're ready to turn it all over to someone else, most of the male doctors I know would be supportive of that. And that attitude varies tremendously from region to region and practice to practice.

 

So you'd have to ask yourself if you are prepared to miss a lot of major and minor stuff. You have to look at your spouse and figure out how you will feel if you just don't get to talk with each other for days and weeks on end beyond, "Hey, you look beat." Is he strong enough for that? Is your marriage strong enough for that?

 

But before all of that, you have to get through undergrad and focus heavily on some tough stuff so your grades and scores are good enough to get into medical school. It would be a shame to waste that passion and skillset if you have it. But it will come at a great price.

[LMV]

I'll weigh in on this as a physician mom who sometimes struggles with the mom/physician dyad. I'm blessed with a very supportive husband who is very emotionally evolved and hands on with our kids. If he wasn't this wouldn't work...at all. Even so I do sometimes engage some mom guilt. The reality is that when I'm at work I really do need to let go and focus completely on practicing medicine or it really isn't fair or safe for my patients. I can do this (which sometimes adds to my mom guilt) but I definitely had some hard moments in the car when our foster daughter was really struggling with the PTSD and I had to leave her. Yes, I was leaving her with her loving dad but it was still hard.

 

As for medical school at least when I was attending less than full time attendance really wasn't an option. You can't opt to spread the four years out over six like you might be able to do with a bachelor's degree. I actually did pay for medical school without loans but that was because I had savings from my original college fund (I played soccer in college on a full scholarship) and unfortunately it seems like education is getting more and more expensive at every level every year.

 

Perhaps you could start with taking the pre-med required courses. Some of your courses from your nursing program may work but I know when I was in undergrad the nursing sequence of chemistry, biology, etc specifically couldn't be used. Of course all schools are different. You could always see how the pre-med coursework goes, if you like it, and how it works with your time demands at home.

[kalanamak]

What about respiratory tech? Or physician's assistant. Or go into nursing and do psych, not med-surg. I know a woman who loves doing echocardiograms, and another who loves doing high risk OB ultrasounds. Where I am nuclear techs are in demand. I think US would be more interesting than nuc tech.

If you live rurally, a small hospital would LOVE someone who can both do lab work AND xrays.

 

I think your family would really miss you for the stint of medschool and residency. IMO.

[Jennifer3141]

I think your family would really miss you for the stint of medschool and residency. IMO.

 

 

Did you have children when you did yours, Kala?

[kalanamak]

Did you have children when you did yours, Kala?

 

No. I did start med school at 29, but I was single, and I didn't read a magazine, see a movie, take a vacation, or skip a day's study for 3.5 years (1.5 post-bac premed, then first 2 years). I am not the brightest bulb, and was a high school drop out who is a general liberal arts degree at a college without lectures grades or tests, so adjusting was NOT easy for me.

Then I hit the last two years, and I was so fascinated (and doing so well), I didn't see read a magazine, see a movie, take a vacation, or skip a day on the wards for the next 2 years.

I lie, I did go visit my folks once, but I missed my brother's wedding.

It was an upper (not top) tier school, and I was competing with honors students from fancy schools.

 

 

But, I know plenty of people who've gone back to school, family and all, and made their lives better. I often see it in men who are in their mid thirties and realizing they aren't going to be able to do heavy labor for another 20 years. And bright women whose babies are a bit older, and have supportive husbands (or family).

[annandatje]

This will not be a popular opinion, but.... I think your boat has probably sailed on that. I think that if there ever is a time to seek a university degree (and I don't even think everyone needs or should pursue one), then that time is when you are unattached or at least child-free. Once you have a family, that should be the foremost priority.

 

I truly do not see going back to school as a positive thing for most people (note I said, most, not all). It costs far more than it is usually worth. If you have to get loans, those will eat you alive for many years. Everyone always thinks it won't be that bad, but then it is always far worse than they ever imagined. There are extremely few people to whom I'd ever say "Great! Good luck" to on the idea of returning to school. And then, I'd still be worried for them financially.

 

That all said, I might say that nursing could be a good financial reason to go back. I say 'might' because I know there is a nursing shortage, but I also know a lot of nurses (IRL and on various forums) who can only seem to find part-time or casual work. That isn't going to pay back those nasty student loans, which are evil in themselves, but that's a whole 'nother rant.

 

:iagree: Honest realistic assessment of the situation.

[I.Dup.]

My niece graduated from nursing school last year and started at $50,000/year, great benefits, and a sign-on bonus. My sister has her 2 year RN (associates degree), and she is making in the $60k-$70 range at a health club. Around here nurses can write their own ticket - sign on bonuses, nice salaries, pick their hours, etc. Some hosiptal systems are so desperate for nurses they are paying for their schooling in exchange for a 2-3 year job commitment. Hospitals and doctor's offices are more dependent than ever on their RN's and are paying handsomely for it. Perhaps all this is regional, but I do know that this is the case here in VA, TN, NC, and other places I have lived.

 

Well I hope they graduate making that much after what they have to go through in nursing school!! :tongue_smilie: But I think nursing homes are of the devil (seriously, they terrify me) and I know there is a looooooonng rotation in one during nursing school. Like, months.

 

Do you live somewhere where Certified Professional Midwives are recognized and legal? 3 years of schooling, own your own business, set your own hours, and decent money. Certainly rewarding...all the ones I know are very very happy with what they do.

 

:iagree: except Im not a CPM but I am a legal Direct Entry Midwife. I LOVE it and it really is good money for how part time it is. I could be busier if I chose, but with as many children and their ages and not willing to put them in school I have to limit my practice to 1-2 births a month. I end up attending more due to assisting other MW's and such but still it is very very manageable. I do my prenatals on saturdays so I dont interfer with school and while the day after a long birth is pretty much shot, we have learned to roll with it and work around it. There are many midwives in my town making 60,000-80,000 a year or even more but they are busier than me. They still consider it part-time though :D esp the one who used to be a CNM in a hospital practice. I would reccomend Ancient Art Midwifery Institute if you decide to look into it.

 

I actually had my midwife agree to take me on as an apprentice right before I found out I was pregnant with our last baby. The problem was, from what they said, they work like dogs and hardly make anything at all. Seriously, they work 24/7. I have never heard lay-midwifery is something that can be regulated in any way (as far as hours/pay goes), but that sure would be nice. I will have to think about that again. Pregnancy/birth has always been my passion.

 

What I keep hearing in your posts is that you are concerned about your future and not certain that fulltime mothering of older children will be the right fit for you. I have no problem with people realizing that being a fulltime mom is their calling and I respect it greatly because I see moms that rock the working and parenting gig and some that would probably be happier not being home fulltime.

 

I would address your financial concerns of being secure in future plans and meeting your family's needs. I make no assumptions but having a solid financial plan works well if you make 30k a year or 300k. I personally like the Dave Ramsey method but it isn't for everyone. But good planning will ease retirement concerns and also make sure you have enough life insurance so that you don't have to fear the financial implications of losing your spouse. Divorce is something different and I don't personally know how to have a good contingency plan there but I sure it can be done. I don't equate blue collar with limited potential.

 

I think looking at career options based solely on random feedback and potential earnings would set up a very insecure future. I would instead look at what you love and is reasonable to pursue giving your situation and run with passion fueling your actions more than potential dollars. Good luck finding your path forward.

 

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful post. I don't know how much planning we can do on a limited income and with dh not really being on board and me having to deal with all of the financial stuff on my own, but I am familiar with Dave Ramsey (I took his classes...by myself...)

 

You can buy a fair amount of term life insurance on you DH for a couPle of hundred a month. That is a bargain compared to medical school and would help with the 'don't want to work at walmart" issues.

 

Yes, we do have term insurance. That helps somewhat. It's at least enough for us to buy a house outright and live for a couple years. At least I wouldn't have to pay for a mortgage.

 

Blessed, as a feminist I don't want to discourage you and I think you could have medical school in the back of your head as you finish your undergrad work. And frankly, there's a coming huge crisis in our country due to a shortage of doctors.

 

But wow. DH loved medical school and loved parts of residency but there are giant swaths of our lives he just missed completely. <snip>

 

I'll weigh in on this as a physician mom who sometimes struggles with the mom/physician dyad. <snip>

 

Perhaps you could start with taking the pre-med required courses. Some of your courses from your nursing program may work but I know when I was in undergrad the nursing sequence of chemistry, biology, etc specifically couldn't be used. Of course all schools are different. You could always see how the pre-med coursework goes, if you like it, and how it works with your time demands at home.

 

What about respiratory tech? Or physician's assistant. Or go into nursing and do psych, not med-surg. I know a woman who loves doing echocardiograms, and another who loves doing high risk OB ultrasounds. Where I am nuclear techs are in demand. I think US would be more interesting than nuc tech.

If you live rurally, a small hospital would LOVE someone who can both do lab work AND xrays.

 

I think your family would really miss you for the stint of medschool and residency. IMO.

 

Thank you all for sharing. Your stories have really affected me. I'm so glad I asked this here. I just really don't know that I have the passion to get through nursing school and all it involves (like nursing homes :001_unsure:). I would love to already be done with it because I do think I would make a decent nurse (although I would hate to be bossed around constantly by doctors :tongue_smilie:) but at least that would satisfy my fascination with the human body and medicine.

[Jennifer3141]

[quote=blessedwinter;4264884

 

 

 

Thank you all for sharing. Your stories have really affected me. I'm so glad I asked this here. I just really don't know that I have the passion to get through nursing school and all it involves (like nursing homes :001_unsure:). I would love to already be done with it because I do think I would make a decent nurse (although I would hate to be bossed around constantly by doctors :tongue_smilie:) but at least that would satisfy my fascination with the human body and medicine.

 

 

This part made me giggle because the joke in my family is that I run DH when he's home and when he needs career issues handled and the NP at DHs practice runs HIM on medical issues. You need to talk to more nurses. Many doctors truly have a lot of respect for them. It's probably very dependent upon the specialty but I'm thinking about the most "prestigiously educated" doctors I know - the cardio thoracic surgeons and they really respect the vast majority of their nurses. They might be hard on stupid nurses (and I'm well aware that my own DH has very tough standards and that he can be brusque if a nurse really screws up) but some of that is also because they are very hard on themselves.

[Audrey]

There is a lot of rhetoric about how much teens need mom, about the *fact* that the relationships will suffer, .............

 

 

Well, if I am really honest with myself, Joanne, I know that my relationship with my ds does suffer from the lack of me being there as much as I wish I could. I admit I resent having to work so much sometimes. I also know that my ds does, too, sometimes.

 

But a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do. So, I tell myself I'm doing the best I can. However, I would never think of adding a full courseload onto the work I already have to do. And with 6 kids? I'd need to hire you full-time as a counselor to get myself out of that pit of crazy.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Yes I have thought of being a nurse and a nurse midwife, but I outlined the reasons I don't really want to go through nursing school and/or nursing anymore.

 

It matters that we're blue collar because I'd rather our family have more money so we can afford more and have a better retirement.

 

 

 

I will think about that. I really just want to invest my time away from my family in something worthwhile and for me, I'm not sure being an EMT would qualify as worth the time and effort it would take away from my family.

 

 

 

 

We would have to relocate. I absolutely do not have hundreds of thousands to pay for schooling, but I'm not aware of anyone who does. From what I have heard our family size & income level would allow me to qualify for more aid/grants and the rest we would put on to loans and pay off after I am making decent money. I do know I would not make good money as a resident, but $40,000 is still more than I could make as a nurse and definitely more than I am making now (my friend was making almost $50,000 as a resident and that was 4 years ago). I am not aware that anyone pays for med school in cash, as they go. :confused:

 

Also, one of my main concerns would be if our healthcare does switch over to being government healthcare. I have no idea what kind of repercussions that would have for med students/new doctors. I'm guessing not good at all.

 

I haven't read through everything, yet, but you certainly could make $40,000 as a nurse. My mom is a retired nurse and made more than that.

 

I have several physicians in my family, too. Paying back student loans is one of the biggest challenges. And despite the new laws, it's still a lot of long hours. I know I personally couldn't do it and still feel like a present parent.

[Aelwydd]

 

 

 

Thank you for sharing and I appreciate the suggestions. You bring up a lot of good points as well. I really don't know much about what the job market is like for the things you mentioned. They seem to be either government jobs or highly competitive to get into and established?

 

Actually, there is a huge demand for STEM (Science/Technology/Engineering/Math) careers, both in government and in the private sectors. You might need to get a graduate degree for some jobs, but generally speaking, the demand for science-based or math-based degreed professionals is outstripping the supply.

[kalanamak]

They might be hard on stupid nurses (and I'm well aware that my own DH has very tough standards and that he can be brusque if a nurse really screws up) but some of that is also because they are very hard on themselves.

 

 

I know that I depend very heavily on nurses. They are my eyes and hands when I am not there. I entertain them, I listen to them, I bring them food. A doc who scorns nursesdoes so at the peril of his/her patiets. They are my eyes and hands when I am not there.

[Melissa in Australia]

I have been wanting to go back to school since I dropped out to have my daughter 10 years ago (I was 19). I was in nursing school at the time and always thought I would eventually go back to school to be a nurse. However, after wiping noses and butts for 10 years I'm not really in the mood to do that anymore. :tongue_smilie: I know nurses do far more than that and it can be very rewarding but I also know it consists of a LOT of dirty work. Especially during the grueling years of school and if you have to work in med-surg first. :ack2::ack2:

 

Sooooo....I have recently been dreaming about going to med school. How crazy is that?? We have no support but my dh is SO supportive. He is a little freaked out by this, but I know he would be supportive. Do you think this is even realistic for someone in my situation (see the ages of my children). I would have to finish at least 2 years of undergrad before I could even apply to med school so it wouldn't be something I could do right away.

 

The other option is to go back to school to be an ultrasound tech. The school is very competitive to get into (like med school I'm sure) and it wouldn't be nearly as intellectually stimulating for me, but the pay would be good. I'm not sure how competitive the job market is for this.

 

Part of this is coming from the fact that dh wants to be done having babies and I don't think it would be good for me or my family for me to just be a SAHM and not work towards a career. We are very blue-collar and with all of our children I think it would be wise for me to use my brains and talents to better our lives. I always thought we would continue having children and I would be home full time but that is looking less and less likely. :(

 

WDYT?

 

I cannot advise you on your situation, but can relate a a family experience.

 

My Aunt went to uni to become a medical doctor when her children were ages 12,7, & newborn. she sent the 12 year old to boarding school, and got a nanny for the baby, then she shifted to the city to study, coming home on long weekends and Holiday's. My Uncle worked full time.(HIgh school English teacher). My Aunt is now just about completed her internship. how has it affected her children? the then 12 year old is currently at uni. (19) She hated boarding school, and hated how her mother sort of shoved her out of the house and abandoned her. The then baby got so stressed that she developed a hair falling out condition, and has major anxiety issues. I am not sure how it affected the son. My Aunt has announced to her family that she is going to go back to uni to specialise.

[ktgrok]

There is a lot of rhetoric about how much teens need mom, about the *fact* that the relationships will suffer, .............

 

I think teens do need mom more than they would see her if she was working 100 hours a week as a medical resident. I don't think anyone was saying she shouldn't go to some kind of school or do some kind of job, just not to THAT extreme.

[Soror]

I think teens do need mom more than they would see her if she was working 100 hours a week as a medical resident. I don't think anyone was saying she shouldn't go to some kind of school or do some kind of job, just not to THAT extreme.

 

:iagree: If your not able to spend any time with people relationships do suffer, that is a fact. They have to be built on something. As to how much time needs to be spent I think that varies between families and individuals.

 

I support the idea of going back to school. I think going back to school to be a Dr. is a bad idea, for many reasons. I have a friend who is going back right now to be a nurse and certainly her kids see her less but I've never said to her or thought she is not going to have a relationship with her kids due to that. However, med school and residency is an extreme situation, especially with the number of kids. Not to mention I don't think it will work out well financially and I think blessed needs to explore what she is looking to fulfill more before she commits to something so intense.

[amy g.]

I think teens do need mom more than they would see her if she was working 100 hours a week as a medical resident. I don't think anyone was saying she shouldn't go to some kind of school or do some kind of job, just not to THAT extreme.

 

I'd have to agree with that too.

[Laura Corin]

Maybe you could find a job, even an entry level one, in a medical environment, and before you invest in all the school, just see how you like it and manage as a Mom who is away the better part of many days.

 

This is what I would do. You could do a computer course and get work in reception or administration in a medical facility. It would give you time to see if you can cope with a full-time job, and to observe the medical field.

 

Laura

[ktgrok]

Ok, what state are you in? That will highly effect how the midwifery thing works. Some states have zero regulations, and the pay reflects that. I'm in Florida, we have strict regulations. 3 years of midwifery school (Not after college, but instead of college), certain number of births, etc etc. You can get regular federal student aid/grants/etc just like any other course of study. There are a quite a few schools here...one just opened up 2 years ago. Lots of hands on training as you learn. And I know my midwife charges $4,000 per patient for birth/prental/etc and takes 4 births a month. Oh, and medicaid will reimburse as well, although not that much. Lots of people go into it after being in the mom world a long time. Also you can work out of your home if need be...my midwife has a lovely home office with a separate entrance. Her daughter and granddaughter live with her, so often my toddler plays with her granddaughter during my appointments, and is in and out. REally a great system. I have several friends going through the process now, and one that just graduated. I'd look into this a lot more. It is MUCH more mom/family friendly, and you say birth is your passion. You could even get involved in advocacy and such.

[DianeW88]

Well I hope they graduate making that much after what they have to go through in nursing school!! :tongue_smilie: But I think nursing homes are of the devil (seriously, they terrify me) and I know there is a looooooonng rotation in one during nursing school. Like, months.

Thank you all for sharing. Your stories have really affected me. I'm so glad I asked this here. I just really don't know that I have the passion to get through nursing school and all it involves (like nursing homes :001_unsure:). I would love to already be done with it because I do think I would make a decent nurse (although I would hate to be bossed around constantly by doctors :tongue_smilie:) but at least that would satisfy my fascination with the human body and medicine.

 

If you don't think you could stomach nursing school...don't go to med school. And I've never had a doctor boss me around. Ever. A good doctor really appreciates his/her nursing staff and will do anything for them. We see what they don't, and they really rely on us to give them information on the patients. Many times the parents of my patients (pediatric cardiology) felt more comfortable confiding their worries and fears with me, since I saw them more frequently. I would pass their concerns and observations on to the doctor and he (in my case) was always very appreciative.

[I.Dup.]

Ok, what state are you in? That will highly effect how the midwifery thing works. Some states have zero regulations, and the pay reflects that. I'm in Florida, we have strict regulations. 3 years of midwifery school (Not after college, but instead of college), certain number of births, etc etc. You can get regular federal student aid/grants/etc just like any other course of study. There are a quite a few schools here...one just opened up 2 years ago. Lots of hands on training as you learn. And I know my midwife charges $4,000 per patient for birth/prental/etc and takes 4 births a month. Oh, and medicaid will reimburse as well, although not that much. Lots of people go into it after being in the mom world a long time. Also you can work out of your home if need be...my midwife has a lovely home office with a separate entrance. Her daughter and granddaughter live with her, so often my toddler plays with her granddaughter during my appointments, and is in and out. REally a great system. I have several friends going through the process now, and one that just graduated. I'd look into this a lot more. It is MUCH more mom/family friendly, and you say birth is your passion. You could even get involved in advocacy and such.

 

I am in WA, the state where it all got started :)

[I.Dup.]

If you don't think you could stomach nursing school...don't go to med school.

 

Do students in med school have to do as much aide-type work as nursing students (give enemas, suck out trach tubes, long rotation in nursing homes, etc?)? I truly don't know. That is the part I would have trouble with (and like you said, God bless the aides!)

[Nakia]

If you don't think you could stomach nursing school...don't go to med school. And I've never had a doctor boss me around. Ever. A good doctor really appreciates his/her nursing staff and will do anything for them. We see what they don't, and they really rely on us to give them information on the patients. Many times the parents of my patients (pediatric cardiology) felt more comfortable confiding their worries and fears with me, since I saw them more frequently. I would pass their concerns and observations on to the doctor and he (in my case) was always very appreciative.

 

I agree! I can't imagine med school would be less "gross" than nursing school. Med students and residents do most of the "dirty work" for the upper years and attending docs.

 

I did have one doctor treat me like crap years ago. One doctor in 15 years of nursing, and he was known to be a prick, so I didn't stress. I have found that good doctors appreciate and value nurses! I've heard family practice and OB residents tell new interns to treat the nurses like gold because the nurses know what's up. :D

 

I'm not trying to pressure you into reconsidering nursing, Blessedwinter, but I think you should have facts before you decide.

[justLisa]

If they don't, they probably should. And I'll go out on a limb and assume they do.

 

They see and do icky all the time. What about stuff like surgery? Or dissecting dead bodies in med school? Or what about scraping infected tissue or sucking the wax out of people's ears? Or sticking your fingers up someone's butt. Or smelling rotting flesh. Or keeping a straight face when someone's wound flaps open and oozes puss (happened to my sister when she worked as an assistant to a surgeon...she wanted to keel over).

 

I think I just fainted.

[MrsBasil]

I knew a Dr who said her least favorite procedure was cleaning out an impacted colon. That has to be up there with changing diapers.

Oh! Another gross one was removing a rotted tamon from a woman who forgot about it.

I couldn't do it.
 

Edited May 16, 2016 by MrsBasil

[justLisa]

My sister's fiance works in medical equipment. The device is for wound care. Let's just say there was a video about a foot and maggots.

[lovinmomma]

I think I just fainted.

 

Ditto. Me, too.

[lovinmomma]

I knew a Dr who said her least favorite procedure was cleaning out an impacted colon. That has to be up there with changing diapers.

 

Oh! Another gross one was removing a rotted tamon from a woman who forgot about it.

 

I couldn't do it.

 

MrsB who decided not to be a Dr or a nurse after working for 5 years in a primary care/walk in clinic.

 

Oh my! Now you all are scaring me out of my medical degree that I'm working on.

[DianeW88]

My sister also once had a job with a podiatrist. She thought it would be a pretty easy area. HAH. She said you have not seen disgusting until you have seen infected feet. She said the smell of some people's feet is enough to make you want to faint dead. And it's a common problem with diabetics and you are sure to run into diabetics no matter what area you go into.

 

I knew a Dr who said her least favorite procedure was cleaning out an impacted colon. That has to be up there with changing diapers.

 

Oh! Another gross one was removing a rotted tamon from a woman who forgot about it.

 

I couldn't do it.

 

MrsB who decided not to be a Dr or a nurse after working for 5 years in a primary care/walk in clinic.

 

If they don't, they probably should. And I'll go out on a limb and assume they do.

 

They see and do icky all the time. What about stuff like surgery? Or dissecting dead bodies in med school? Or what about scraping infected tissue or sucking the wax out of people's ears? Or sticking your fingers up someone's butt. Or smelling rotting flesh. Or keeping a straight face when someone's wound flaps open and oozes puss (happened to my sister when she worked as an assistant to an OB...she wanted to keel over).

 

I agree! I can't imagine med school would be less "gross" than nursing school. Med students and residents do most of the "dirty work" for the upper years and attending docs.

 

:iagree: The doctors do the MOST icky stuff. I'm not qualified. :D ;) I stand by and hand him instruments. And good grief, the med students and the residents do the most disgusting stuff of all. They have to learn...that's how they do it...hands on experience. Honestly, if there's a resident and an RN with twenty years of experience in the same exam room....guess who's doing the nasty stuff???? It's not me.

[Chris in VA]

Or sticking your fingers up someone's butt. Or smelling rotting flesh. Or keeping a straight face when someone's wound flaps open and oozes puss (happened to my sister when she worked as an assistant to an OB...she wanted to keel over).

 

OH MY I LOVE IT! SIGN ME UP RIGHT NOW!

Said Chris, never.

[staceyobu]

Do students in med school have to do as much aide-type work as nursing students (give enemas, suck out trach tubes, long rotation in nursing homes, etc?)? I truly don't know. That is the part I would have trouble with (and like you said, God bless the aides!)

 

My nursing school did not do any time in a nursing home at all. We did a very brief stent (2 days maybe?) in an Alzheimer's treatment home. We were on med surg floors our entire first year and then our second year we rotated through specialty areas (ICUs, peds, surgery, mom/baby, etc).

 

Depending on where and when you work as a nurse, you can interact very little with physicians and basically run things yourself. I loved working nights because you don't have to deal with doctors unless there is an emergency. I also did a rotation I really liked at an STD clinic that was completely run by RNs. I think they had a medical director, but he wasn't on site all the time.

 

Anyways, you might want to look at different schools. I started school premed and just couldn't get through organic chemistry. Several of my friends switched to nursing, but I couldn't stomach the idea of doing the dirty work and not being the one giving orders.

 

Anyways, after graduating, I decided I really wanted to be in medicine and went back to nursing school. Nursing school does suck... but maybe not as much as you think. I worked mom/baby floors after graduating and never cleaned up poop or anything. Most of the time, all scut work was done by aides. Nursing also provides lots of flexibility. You could work one shift a week and be at home with your kids the rest of the time.

 

Nurses can make $80,000 floor nursing. If you choose to go into management, you would make even more money.

 

I also feel that doctors don't really do what I thought they did... at least, most don't. I guess a trauma surgeon might be a really interesting career. Lots of it is just rote stuff. Ear infection... give antibiotics. Small cut... stitch it up. Sore throat... antibiotics. Pap smear, pap smear, pap smear. It just isn't that exciting. They also frequently have zero patient interaction time. I guess now I've realized I would not want to work in an office as a doctor or a nurse. I much prefer the hospital setting. And most doctors do clinic as their main job and just round at the hospital.

 

If a physician on here disagrees with me, feel free to correct me. It just seems like a loooooong time in school and a looooooot of money.

 

I will say, there are aspects of nursing that suck. I did at times feel like I had to watch a dumba$$ make decisions that were crappy. And, there wasn't much I could do about it unless it was just totally out of the realm of safe practice. And, even then, sometimes complaining didn't get you anywhere (and would make things harder on myself).