Thinking about going back to school (not JAWM)

[I.Dup.]

I have been wanting to go back to school since I dropped out to have my daughter 10 years ago (I was 19). I was in nursing school at the time and always thought I would eventually go back to school to be a nurse. However, after wiping noses and butts for 10 years I'm not really in the mood to do that anymore. :tongue_smilie: I know nurses do far more than that and it can be very rewarding but I also know it consists of a LOT of dirty work. Especially during the grueling years of school and if you have to work in med-surg first. :ack2::ack2:

 

Sooooo....I have recently been dreaming about going to med school. How crazy is that?? We have no support but my dh is SO supportive. He is a little freaked out by this, but I know he would be supportive. Do you think this is even realistic for someone in my situation (see the ages of my children). I would have to finish at least 2 years of undergrad before I could even apply to med school so it wouldn't be something I could do right away.

 

The other option is to go back to school to be an ultrasound tech. The school is very competitive to get into (like med school I'm sure) and it wouldn't be nearly as intellectually stimulating for me, but the pay would be good. I'm not sure how competitive the job market is for this.

 

Part of this is coming from the fact that dh wants to be done having babies and I don't think it would be good for me or my family for me to just be a SAHM and not work towards a career. We are very blue-collar and with all of our children I think it would be wise for me to use my brains and talents to better our lives. I always thought we would continue having children and I would be home full time but that is looking less and less likely. :(

 

WDYT?

[I.Dup.]

So have you thought about something like studying to be a PA?

 

Yes, I have, and I will look more into it. From what I understand, PAs are really just glorified nurses, they get all of the boring cases, do all of the grunt work in the office, never really advance. I transcribe for a PA and he just dictates for all of the doctors, they even have to approve his dictations. :tongue_smilie:

[justLisa]

I think you have to decide what you need to do to feel satisfied with yourself, your mothering, and your family.

 

I mean medical school, residency etc is going to be seeeveral years. When will you start? You have very young children. I think you have decide if it is something you can balance and be sane. Not to sound down about it, it's just a very long, costly, education.

[Impish]

I genuinely don't see how it's feasible. Not w/the # of kids, their ages, the reality of med school, then internship, etc, etc, etc.

 

There are single ppl, w/no family commitments that struggle w/the demands of med school in terms of time and stress. I can't imagine attempting it w/the family commitments you have.

[prairiewindmomma]

I would look at being an ultrasound or rad tech. The pay is good ($60-75K/year average), the hours are great, and the amount of schooling is minimal.

 

I look at the strain on the marriages of my friends who have gone through med school + residency...it's not pretty. My friends have gone days at times without seeing their kids. Generally, they've had a SAHM or SAHD to keep the household running although one of them hired a nanny.

 

And, med school isn't any less messy than nursing....You may just be dealing with an impacted bowel rather than changing the diaper.

[I.Dup.]

Thank you all for weighing in. :)

 

I do know it would not be a cake walk, that's for sure. My biggest concern is not being around for the children, but from a doctor friend of mine the hours are really the most crazy for the last 2 years of residency (that would be 7-8 years from now). She completed school while in the midst of having children and she has several like I do, and she is very encouraging. So I know it's possible.................

[RanchGirl]

.

Edited August 30, 2012 by RanchGirl
Apparently my thoughts are of no value

[brett_ashley]

nooooo! don't do it. (unless of course you have a burning desire to be a physician and nothing else will do.) Look into the job satisfaction surveys of physicians--it's simply not a good investment of your time and money.

 

I recommend PA school (can be harder to get into than medical school though for the reasons listed above), speech pathology school (a great mom job), or dental school. Dental school is only 4 years post-baccalaureate and the majority only work 3-4 days per week and you would make a lot more than a general practitioner physician.

[justamouse]

If you do it, you'd better be in it for the long haul. You're looking at years of school because your kids are small and you'll have to stretch it out, and it's not something you should quit once you're 4 years in. Yanno?

 

So be very, very sure that you have the stamina.

[FairProspects]

Nm, tmi.

[JumpyTheFrog]

I thought about going back to school to become a PA. It would definitely have meant the end of homeschooling and free time for me. I decided it wasn't worth the sacrifice.

 

Medical school and residency would be even worse. I wanted to be a doctor growing up until I was about 15 and read a book about a man's experience as a resident. I quickly decided 100+ hour work weeks for low pay were not for me. I made a good choice, because it turns out I need nines hours per sleep when healthy. Also, the sleep deprivation of dealing with newborns broke my body. (My oldest is 6 1/2 and I still haven't recovered. I was about 95% feeling better, but now I've had a relapse.)

 

How much are you willing to give up to become a doctor? You'd be about 38-40 before you finish your residency. Also, you'd need a lot of patient care/volunteer experience to get into medical school, wouldn't you? I believe people accept to PA school usually need 1000-2000 hours of patient care. Could you fit this in while taking science courses and caring for 6 young kids?

[butterflymommy]

I couldn't do it... my brain stopped working somewhere around baby #4. However if you think your brain is still up to par, and you REALLY want to do this, you should explore your options.

 

Would you have to take out big loans to pay for tuition? If so, and you end up dropping out, you could find yourself in financial disaster.

 

Who would watch the kiddos? Would you incur expenses for a babysitter?

 

Have you thought of being a nurse practitioner? Or a nurse midwife? Or an OB GYN/ L&D nurse?

 

Also, I think drs deal with disgusting things as much as nurses. Maybe not on the diaper level ( a lot of that goes to nursing assistants anyway) but there's lots of blood, gore, and vomit in a dr's life.

 

As far as ultrasound tech, from what I've heard the classes are much more difficult than one would think.

 

Since you said it's not JAWM... what is wrong with being a SAHM? You're setting a great example by being a good mother, no? Why do your contributions have to be monetary? Why does it matter that you're blue collar?

[JumpyTheFrog]

What about becoming an EMT or paramedic? I think basic EMT classes are only about 6 months long. It would be a way to start earning money and getting experience without such a huge commitment. It would also be good experience to list on a med school application.

[DianeW88]

Can you afford to pay for all that schooling??? Med school is CRAZY expensive. Not to mention, as your kids get older they will cost you more money to feed, house, clothe, educate...everything. I would not want to add the expense of a post graduate college education to that. Do you have an extra $70,000 a year to spend on tuition, books, babysitters (you will need these), gas, a car to commute, etc., etc. And you do not want hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loans either.

 

Also, do you have a decent med school near you? What if you aren't accepted locally? Are you willing to relocate for med school? What about residency? Can you relocate for that? Not to mention, you are not paid much during your residency...about $40,000 per year...and that mainly covers your expenses.

 

I don't think at this stage of your life, you have time for the commitment medical school will demand of you. Your kids need you far more, and they grow up so quickly. You will literally miss everything.

[I.Dup.]

I thought about going back to school to become a PA. It would definitely have meant the end of homeschooling and free time for me. I decided it wasn't worth the sacrifice.

 

Medical school and residency would be even worse. I wanted to be a doctor growing up until I was about 15 and read a book about a man's experience as a resident. I quickly decided 100+ hour work weeks for low pay were not for me. I made a good choice, because it turns out I need nines hours per sleep when healthy. Also, the sleep deprivation of dealing with newborns broke my body. (My oldest is 6 1/2 and I still haven't recovered. I was about 95% feeling better, but now I've had a relapse.)

 

How much are you willing to give up to become a doctor? You'd be about 38-40 before you finish your residency. Also, you'd need a lot of patient care/volunteer experience to get into medical school, wouldn't you? I believe people accept to PA school usually need 1000-2000 hours of patient care. Could you fit this in while taking science courses and caring for 6 young kids?

 

From what I understand, they have recently (as of 2008 I believe) implemented laws that regulate the hours a resident can work.

 

I do not know about the patient care experience, I would have to look more into that. I'm hoping my 10 years of investing in my children's care can count for something.

[busymama7]

I believe it is an unfortunate misnomer that teens need a stay at home mom less than babies/toddlers do. This is not sitting in judgement of anyone and their own personal choices. I know there are needs that can only be reached with a second income. But the huge commitment of med school would defiently be a strain and your kids would suffer. No question. That is unless of course your husband quit and raised them, but that didnt sound like an option.

 

There are lots of other options to bring in another income and I would seriously consider those. Yes, you would still be away from the kids but not to the extent of med school and being a doctor.

[torikei]

Med school seems to be changing quite a bit. I think you could do it with a very supportive husband. More and more students are non traditional. Many have families at home. There are measures in place that students didn't have 30 years ago. Interns are no longer expected to work the kind of hours previously expected. Many of our renters are med students and they all have families. I'm not saying it's easy but most say the first year is the most difficult. One thing about the medical field is that similar classes are required for many different types of degrees. You could start moving in that direction and still have the liberty to change your mind. I would check into many schools to see what type of supportive services they offer.

 

Good luck,

Tori

[Soror]

If you need 2 yrs of undergrad anyway why not just start on that now with an eye toward the med or nursing field? Another thing to consider is the cost. I would not start down any degree path unless I was able to cash flow. Especially with your family size, in the end your family could be in a lot worse situation than it is now. I think it seems you are looking for some kind of outside validation and no longer feel that being a sahm is enough for you in that regard, however there are many different paths and I'd be leary to embark on one with such a high personal toll.

[Alice]

There were people in my medical school who had kids, even young kids and there were quite a few in residency who had kids or who had babies while a resident. The people who I knew in the first 2 years of medical school actually did very well. I think they struggled less than the rest of us. It’s a lot of work and a lot of studying but they were adults rather than just out of college. They looked at school as their job. They came to class, went to the library, went home and studied at night. They were often more organized and usually had less expectations of having a social life or doing fun stuff. The second two years of medical school you rotate through different specialties. Some are very hard, depending on the school and some are fairly easy 9-5 kind of rotations. The one thing medical school and residency taught me was that I could do anything for a month.

 

Residency is hard. It has gotten easier. There are new laws that dramatically decrease the number of hours that residents are allowed to work and most programs are compliant (if they are not they face big problems like losing their accreditation). I don’t know the exact laws but I believe that 1st year residents (interns) cannot work longer than a 16 hour shift and beyond that you cannot work longer than a 24 hour shift. I believe you have to have at least 10 hours off in between shifts and that you cannot work more than 80 hours in a week. That is still a LOT especially if you have small children, but it is much less than when I was in training.

 

I think my advice would be to think long and hard about WHY you want to go to medical school. Are you looking for a good stable interesting job? Are you thinking it will give be a financial boost? Or when you say you are dreaming about going to medical school do you DREAM about being a doctor? Do you see it as something you would love and that you have a passion for?

 

I advise everyone that I would not go into medicine for the money or for a good job or because their parents want them to (not your case but what I see with a lot of younger students). I love it, I think it’s the best job ever but I also think there are a lot of other good jobs out there that are stable and interesting and fulfilling and that require a lot less financial and personal sacrifice. In your situation, I’d consider that even more. You are talking about at the very least 9 more years of school/training and possibly more at a time when your kids are very young.

 

I’d also talk to your husband about it even more. It will require a lot of sacrifice from him as well as you and I think he needs to be really aware of that.

 

It might make sense to do some classes at the undergraduate level that would work if you decided this is for you and that would also lead to other careers. That would at least give you a taste of what it is like balancing studying and parenting.

[JumpyTheFrog]

Since you said it's not JAWM... what is wrong with being a SAHM? You're setting a great example by being a good mother, no? Why do your contributions have to be monetary? Why does it matter that you're blue collar?

 

It sounds like the OP has regretted dropping out of nursing school for the past ten years. I suspect it has little to do with money, but rather with wanting to have a big goal that she can achieve for herself.

 

So much of what we do as homeschooling moms is to help our husbands and kids achieve their goals. I know too many "homeschooling zombie moms" whose entire life purpose seems to be related to their kids. Their own interests and goals disappeared long ago. If all their kids suddenly died in a car crash, I suspect they'd be completely lost about what to do with their lives.

Edited August 30, 2012 by HoppyTheToad
typo

[I.Dup.]

 

Have you thought of being a nurse practitioner? Or a nurse midwife? Or an OB GYN/ L&D nurse?

 

Since you said it's not JAWM... what is wrong with being a SAHM? You're setting a great example by being a good mother, no? Why do your contributions have to be monetary? Why does it matter that you're blue collar?

 

Yes I have thought of being a nurse and a nurse midwife, but I outlined the reasons I don't really want to go through nursing school and/or nursing anymore.

 

It matters that we're blue collar because I'd rather our family have more money so we can afford more and have a better retirement.

 

What about becoming an EMT or paramedic? I think basic EMT classes are only about 6 months long. It would be a way to start earning money and getting experience without such a huge commitment. It would also be good experience to list on a med school application.

 

I will think about that. I really just want to invest my time away from my family in something worthwhile and for me, I'm not sure being an EMT would qualify as worth the time and effort it would take away from my family.

 

Can you afford to pay for all that schooling??? Med school is CRAZY expensive. Not to mention, as your kids get older they will cost you more money to feed, house, clothe, educate...everything. I would not want to add the expense of a post graduate college education to that. Do you have an extra $70,000 a year to spend on tuition, books, babysitters (you will need these), gas, a car to commute, etc., etc. And you do not want hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loans either.

 

Also, do you have a decent med school near you? What if you aren't accepted locally? Are you willing to relocate for med school? What about residency? Can you relocate for that? Not to mention, you are not paid much during your residency...about $40,000 per year...and that mainly covers your expenses.

 

I don't think at this stage of your life, you have time for the commitment medical school will demand of you. Your kids need you far more, and they grow up so quickly. You will literally miss everything.

 

 

We would have to relocate. I absolutely do not have hundreds of thousands to pay for schooling, but I'm not aware of anyone who does. From what I have heard our family size & income level would allow me to qualify for more aid/grants and the rest we would put on to loans and pay off after I am making decent money. I do know I would not make good money as a resident, but $40,000 is still more than I could make as a nurse and definitely more than I am making now (my friend was making almost $50,000 as a resident and that was 4 years ago). I am not aware that anyone pays for med school in cash, as they go. :confused:

 

Also, one of my main concerns would be if our healthcare does switch over to being government healthcare. I have no idea what kind of repercussions that would have for med students/new doctors. I'm guessing not good at all.

[I.Dup.]

It sounds like the OP has regretted dropping out of nursing school for the past ten years. I suspect it has little to do with money, but rather with wanting to have a big goal that she can achieve for herself.

 

So much of what we do as homeschooling moms is to help our husbands and kids achieve their goals. I know too many "homeschooling zombie moms" who's entire life purpose seems to be related to their kids. Their own interests and goals disappeared long ago. If all their kids suddenly died in a car crash, I suspect they'd be completely lost about what to do with their lives.

 

:iagree: I know zombie homeschool moms and I don't want to be like that. I also don't want to get to the age of 50 and have something catastrophic happen and have to get a job at Wal-Mart. That drives me.

[JumpyTheFrog]

From what I understand, they have recently (as of 2008 I believe) implemented laws that regulate the hours a resident can work.

 

I do not know about the patient care experience, I would have to look more into that. I'm hoping my 10 years of investing in my children's care can count for something.

 

I believe in NY, the new limit on hours is an average of "only" 80 per week. So you could still have 100 hours one week and 60 the next. Maybe it's different in other states. 80 still seems way to high. I doubt they let pilots fly that many hours per week. (Who ever thought sleep deprived doctors could do their best work in the first place?)

 

While you've worked hard taking care of your family, I doubt it would count as patient care the way a nurse or EMT's hours would.

[I.Dup.]

If you need 2 yrs of undergrad anyway why not just start on that now with an eye toward the med or nursing field? Another thing to consider is the cost. I would not start down any degree path unless I was able to cash flow. Especially with your family size, in the end your family could be in a lot worse situation than it is now. I think it seems you are looking for some kind of outside validation and no longer feel that being a sahm is enough for you in that regard, however there are many different paths and I'd be leary to embark on one with such a high personal toll.

 

Yes, that is how I would start off for sure. I just want to have an end goal in mind and not go to school just to go to school, kwim?

 

There were people in my medical school who had kids, even young kids and there were quite a few in residency who had kids or who had babies while a resident. The people who I knew in the first 2 years of medical school actually did very well. I think they struggled less than the rest of us. It’s a lot of work and a lot of studying but they were adults rather than just out of college. They looked at school as their job. They came to class, went to the library, went home and studied at night. They were often more organized and usually had less expectations of having a social life or doing fun stuff. The second two years of medical school you rotate through different specialties. Some are very hard, depending on the school and some are fairly easy 9-5 kind of rotations. The one thing medical school and residency taught me was that I could do anything for a month.

 

Residency is hard. It has gotten easier. There are new laws that dramatically decrease the number of hours that residents are allowed to work and most programs are compliant (if they are not they face big problems like losing their accreditation). I don’t know the exact laws but I believe that 1st year residents (interns) cannot work longer than a 16 hour shift and beyond that you cannot work longer than a 24 hour shift. I believe you have to have at least 10 hours off in between shifts and that you cannot work more than 80 hours in a week. That is still a LOT especially if you have small children, but it is much less than when I was in training.

 

I think my advice would be to think long and hard about WHY you want to go to medical school. Are you looking for a good stable interesting job? Are you thinking it will give be a financial boost? Or when you say you are dreaming about going to medical school do you DREAM about being a doctor? Do you see it as something you would love and that you have a passion for?

 

I advise everyone that I would not go into medicine for the money or for a good job or because their parents want them to (not your case but what I see with a lot of younger students). I love it, I think it’s the best job ever but I also think there are a lot of other good jobs out there that are stable and interesting and fulfilling and that require a lot less financial and personal sacrifice. In your situation, I’d consider that even more. You are talking about at the very least 9 more years of school/training and possibly more at a time when your kids are very young.

 

I’d also talk to your husband about it even more. It will require a lot of sacrifice from him as well as you and I think he needs to be really aware of that.

 

It might make sense to do some classes at the undergraduate level that would work if you decided this is for you and that would also lead to other careers. That would at least give you a taste of what it is like balancing studying and parenting.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience. I have always wanted to be in the medical field. Like I said, I just don't think being a nurse would be fulfilling for me anymore and to be honest, from stories I hear from my friends that are nurses, it sounds pretty nightmarish. I know being a doctor wouldn't be all roses and sunshine either, but I would rather have the freedom and authority a doctor has over the freedom and authority a nurse has. That is one of my reasons, the other is that I consider myself a bright person with good common sense and I have always been fascinated with the human body and all things medical. I'm not sure if those reasons are good enough or not. I have no idea what being a doctor is really like, so I cannot say how much I would enjoy that job. It seems like most doctors I have talked to and know do love their job, though.

[Michelle in AL]

I'm in NP school, its a master's degree and we're only learning a portion of what med students do, a pretty hefty portion though.

 

I study all day. I can only do this because my youngest is 16 and doesn't need me much anymore. All her classes are out sourced.

 

I saw my ex husband go through med school. Again, studying all the time.

 

Truly, you would have minimal time to care for your children, your husband would have to take that over.

 

I also have the luxury of doing school online, med school includes 40 hrs/week class time.

 

I don't mean to be a downer, but wouldn't want anyone to go into this unaware.

[I.Dup.]

While you've worked hard taking care of your family, I doubt it would count as patient care the way a nurse or EMT's hours would.

 

I totally agree.

 

Another thing that drives me is knowing the example this would give my children. I know I would be gone a lot (and that would be very hard for me, what consoles me is the fact that IF I do this, that would still be many years away) but they could always look back and see what I accomplished, and hopefully that would motivate them to know they could do great things, no matter what.

[JumpyTheFrog]

I know zombie homeschool moms and I don't want to be like that. I also don't want to get to the age of 50 and have something catastrophic happen and have to get a job at Wal-Mart.

 

I have a friend whose youngest just finished high school. I was joking around with her and asked her what she wanted to do now that she had "graduated" too (from being a homeschooling mom). Her answer was "All I ever wanted to do was be a Mommy."

 

She married right out of high school and I don't know if she's ever had any sort of job. Her family really, really needs the money, but even if she didn't have health problems, I'm not sure if she'd be interested in trying to find a job. (I hope I'm wrong about that.)

[DianeW88]

We would have to relocate. I absolutely do not have hundreds of thousands to pay for schooling, but I'm not aware of anyone who does. From what I have heard our family size & income level would allow me to qualify for more aid/grants and the rest we would put on to loans and pay off after I am making decent money. I do know I would not make good money as a resident, but $40,000 is still more than I could make as a nurse

 

Why do you think you would make less than $40,000 a year as a nurse? :confused: I made substantially more than that.

[I.Dup.]

I'm in NP school, its a master's degree and we're only learning a portion of what med students do, a pretty hefty portion though.

 

I study all day. I can only do this because my youngest is 16 and doesn't need me much anymore. All her classes are out sourced.

 

I saw my ex husband go through med school. Again, studying all the time.

 

Truly, you would have minimal time to care for your children, your husband would have to take that over.

 

I also have the luxury of doing school online, med school includes 40 hrs/week class time.

 

I don't mean to be a downer, but wouldn't want anyone to go into this unaware.

 

Thank you, not a downer at all.

[I.Dup.]

Why do you think you would make less than $40,000 a year as a nurse? :confused: I made substantially more than that.

 

You're right, nurses do make more. Around here they make around $50,000 - $60,000. Good money but again, I just don't think my heart would be in the schooling or the job for all I would have to go through.

 

School costs aside, what about stuff like daycare costs?

 

Well if I started right away, like this quarter (impossible) the soonest my kids would need daycare is 4 or so years from now. That would be kindergarten time for my youngest, and we would likely put my children in school at that point. I do have babysitters that help me right now, not sure if they would still be available at that point but they are available atm.

[JumpyTheFrog]

What I hear you saying is this:

 

-You want your kids to see you as a person with your own interests and talents, and not just as "Mommy who must devote her entire life to me."

 

-You want to be able to provide additional income or be the breadwinner if needed.

 

-You've always been fascinated by medicine and possibly feel like you threw away your biggest dream in order to have a large family; only the dream never really went away like you maybe thought, hoped, or expected it would.

[JumpyTheFrog]

What about becoming a nutritionist, biomedical devices engineer, or some other related field? It seems to me that even getting a science PhD would probably be easier (few hours, more flexible) than medical school and residency. Plus, many or most science grad students get free tuition plus a stipend.

 

I'm under the impression that medical schools don't give out scholarships; you must pay cash or take loans.

[Dana]

I totally agree.

 

Another thing that drives me is knowing the example this would give my children. I know I would be gone a lot (and that would be very hard for me, what consoles me is the fact that IF I do this, that would still be many years away) but they could always look back and see what I accomplished, and hopefully that would motivate them to know they could do great things, no matter what.

 

Or they see that you chose your career over them.

 

Choose what you want to do, but there may be repercussions you're not thinking of. I saw my folks go though masters degrees, so only 4 years and then working demanding jobs. I give them credit...my mom in particular...but my sister and I came in third regularly over my parents marriage (as it should be) and their work. I don't have much of a relationship with them due to some of their career choices.

[I.Dup.]

I have a friend whose youngest just finished high school. I was joking around with her and asked her what she wanted to do now that she had "graduated" too (from being a homeschooling mom). Her answer was "All I ever wanted to do was be a Mommy."

 

She married right out of high school and I don't know if she's ever had any sort of job. Her family really, really needs the money, but even if she didn't have health problems, I'm not sure if she'd be interested in trying to find a job. (I hope I'm wrong about that.)

 

Right, ugh. I could see that being me if something doesn't change. I also see my parents and my dh's parents struggling severely with jobs/money in their later years and really don't want that to be us if I can avoid it.

 

What I hear you saying is this:

 

-You want your kids to see you as a person with your own interests and talents, and not just as "Mommy who must devote her entire life to me."

 

-You want to be able to provide additional income or be the breadwinner if needed.

 

-You've always been fascinated by medicine and possibly feel like you threw away your biggest dream in order to have a large family; only the dream never really went away like you maybe thought, hoped, or expected it would.

 

Yes, except on the last point the large family was my dream, also. I feel so blessed and fortunate to be able to have these children. I have given up everything for them and do not think it would be healthy for me to give up the first 2 points to continue doing that, especially since my dh does not want to have anymore. We have 5 boys, they hardly need me at all. :tongue_smilie: I see how independent they are all getting as they grow. My dh envisioned I would continue being a SAHM and homeschool them and make that my life, but that scares me and I do not feel that would be the best, healthiest thing for me/us.

[I.Dup.]

Or they see that you chose your career over them.

 

Choose what you want to do, but there may be repercussions you're not thinking of. I saw my folks go though masters degrees, so only 4 years and then working demanding jobs. I give them credit...my mom in particular...but my sister and I came in third regularly over my parents marriage (as it should be) and their work. I don't have much of a relationship with them due to some of their career choices.

 

Yes, this is something I would have to think and pray through very seriously before I made any choice. I definitely don't want to give up my relationship with them, but I also don't want to end up a single mom with no education if God forbid anything happened to my husband with 6 kids to raise, kwim? This isn't a frivolous goal...

 

What about becoming a nutritionist, biomedical devices engineer, or some other related field? It seems to me that even getting a science PhD would probably be easier (few hours, more flexible) than medical school and residency. Plus, many or most science grad students get free tuition plus a stipend.

 

I'm under the impression that medical schools don't give out scholarships; you must pay cash or take loans.

 

Huh. I will have to do more research into that.

[justLisa]

It just seems like you wanted two completely different life paths that really do not mesh.

 

I hope you can figure it all out. :grouphug:

[Impish]

Factor in how many yrs you'd be paying the loans back for as well. Just b/c you might be making say, 75k a yr, doesn't mean you'll be *keeping* that...not once you've got loans to pay back.

 

And, depending on how you would practice medicine, there's equipment costs, etc to consider as well.

[elegantlion]

Or they see that you chose your career over them.

 

 

 

My MIL had to go back to school and work full time due to becoming a widow. My dh was one of 5 children. He lost precious years of guidance that he really needed. Honestly, he describes it as his two sisters were in charge of his two younger brothers and he was allowed to do what he wanted. An ADD child with no supervision was not a good idea. The fact he survived to adulthood was itself a miracle.

 

She had little choice and today has a good lifestyle and has a good retirement. The modeling of striving toward a goal was lost because she was simply gone all the time. Her youngest son was the only one who benefited from her furthering herself while he was still at home and he is younger by 5 or 6 years.

 

I do think the medical field is a better idea than becoming a day trader though.

 

My biggest concern would be time and money. Time with the kids, time to study. I mean your signature line say you can barely correct typos. Is that going to improve when you're writing something for a grade? Money for daycare, school costs, relocation, etc.

 

IMO, which is worth what you paid for it :tongue_smilie:, there would have to be total family support. Dh would have to be on board to be almost full-time dad, I would have to agree to his parenting style. The kids would have to be supportive, in an age appropriate way, and it would have to be for the long run. Are you going to get that? (you don't have to answer me, btw, just questions I would have)

 

I wouldn't count on anyone being as excited about your goal. IOW, I wouldn't expect people to drop in and be excited about providing childcare because *I* had a goal, does that make sense.

 

I would probably set a goal of finishing the two year with the penciled idea of further schooling, and work to achieve the smaller goal first.

[Frances]

What about becoming a nutritionist, biomedical devices engineer, or some other related field? It seems to me that even getting a science PhD would probably be easier (few hours, more flexible) than medical school and residency. Plus, many or most science grad students get free tuition plus a stipend.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

My husband has done both a science PhD (started before our son was born and finished when he was three) and then later a PharmD (son ages 12-15). The PharmD had only one year of rotations (the fourth) and no residency requirement, but his PhD program had far more flexibility and he did get tuition plus a stipend.

 

He briefly considered medical school instead of the PharmD, as he had been accepted while in undergrad, but ultimately decided against it. I went back to work full-time to fund his PharmD program and for those four years basically felt like I was doing the full-time work of two people (outside work, homeschooling, and everything at home). He is the most high energy person I know, but commuting, classes, and studying took almost all of his time and energy. I would think med school/residency would be even worse.

 

Our local hospital has a shadowing program and he spent time in several different departments before choosing pharmacy. It also led to a part-time job while he was in pharm school and then later a full-time job. Maybe your local hospital has something similar where you can check out different health related careers.

 

My husband has a great position now - he works seven days on and then seven days off and makes great $ - they are even paying off his pharmacy school loans.

[Guest]

Part of this is coming from the fact that dh wants to be done having babies and I don't think it would be good for me or my family for me to just be a SAHM and not work towards a career. We are very blue-collar and with all of our children I think it would be wise for me to use my brains and talents to better our lives. I always thought we would continue having children and I would be home full time but that is looking less and less likely.

 

This is very similar to the reasons why I'm in college now.

 

I think ultrasound tech would be a very good avenue.

[pfamilygal]

Nurses in our area make between 60 and 80K per year full time.

 

I'd finish nursing and then look at being a nurse practitioner or CNM later.

[FairProspects]

It just seems like you wanted two completely different life paths that really do not mesh.

 

I hope you can figure it all out. :grouphug:

 

:iagree:And just for a point of reference, my friend graduating from medical school right now says most of her colleagues to come out of med school with $250K+ in loans.

[mom2one]

I say go for it. You said you still have some undergrad work to do, so start taking a class each semester. By the time your littlest one is school age you will have your undergrad degree and can then think about moving on to med school if you still want to. If you do nothing, you'll still be dreaming about it in four years but no closer to making it a reality.

[Audrey]

This will not be a popular opinion, but.... I think your boat has probably sailed on that. I think that if there ever is a time to seek a university degree (and I don't even think everyone needs or should pursue one), then that time is when you are unattached or at least child-free. Once you have a family, that should be the foremost priority.

 

I truly do not see going back to school as a positive thing for most people (note I said, most, not all). It costs far more than it is usually worth. If you have to get loans, those will eat you alive for many years. Everyone always thinks it won't be that bad, but then it is always far worse than they ever imagined. There are extremely few people to whom I'd ever say "Great! Good luck" to on the idea of returning to school. And then, I'd still be worried for them financially.

 

That all said, I might say that nursing could be a good financial reason to go back. I say 'might' because I know there is a nursing shortage, but I also know a lot of nurses (IRL and on various forums) who can only seem to find part-time or casual work. That isn't going to pay back those nasty student loans, which are evil in themselves, but that's a whole 'nother rant.

[DianeW88]

You're right, nurses do make more. Around here they make around $50,000 - $60,000. Good money but again, I just don't think my heart would be in the schooling or the job for all I would have to go through.

 

I made more than that. And don't be too quick to dismiss nursing. I never once changed a diaper of any kind, and honestly, I can't think of anything "icky" that I had to do either. It was very intellectually challenging, interesting, and satisfying work. Now it depends on what kind of nursing degree you're looking at, but a bachelor's or master's will get you far above messing with too many bodily fluids. As in, you will not be changing diapers, bed pans, cleaning up vomit, etc. That is aide work anyway. And bless them for doing it, and doing it cheerfully.

Edited August 30, 2012 by DianeW88

[DianeW88]

This will not be a popular opinion, but.... I think your boat has probably sailed on that. I think that if there ever is a time to seek a university degree (and I don't even think everyone needs or should pursue one), then that time is when you are unattached or at least child-free. Once you have a family, that should be the foremost priority.

 

I truly do not see going back to school as a positive thing for most people (note I said, most, not all). It costs far more than it is usually worth. If you have to get loans, those will eat you alive for many years. Everyone always thinks it won't be that bad, but then it is always far worse than they ever imagined. There are extremely few people to whom I'd ever say "Great! Good luck" to on the idea of returning to school. And then, I'd still be worried for them financially.

 

That all said, I might say that nursing could be a good financial reason to go back. I say 'might' because I know there is a nursing shortage, but I also know a lot of nurses (IRL and on various forums) who can only seem to find part-time or casual work. That isn't going to pay back those nasty student loans, which are evil in themselves, but that's a whole 'nother rant.

 

:iagree:Totally and completely. And it isn't always easy to find the perfect nursing job. Specializing helps. But you can always find "a" nursing job, then work your way up, over, and through to a better position.

[Chris in VA]

Personally, I have some conflict working even part time, so perhaps I'm not the one to advise, but...

 

You are in the thick of parenting right now. It may seem (and it's kinda puzzling to hear you say) that your 5 boys, who are 8 and under by your signature, "hardly need you at all," but believe me, they do. They will continue to need you, and if you don't think what you do is important to their lives, then perhaps your dissatisfaction is getting the best of you. :grouphug:

 

I mean this gently but I'm going to say it anyway, and I'm going to say it with all the strength I can:

 

Don't think you will matter more if you are a Dr. Don't think you will be a better role model if you have a career. And mostly,

 

Don't throw away what you have for something you have no real clue about.

 

If you decide to become a Dr., you WILL NOT be able to be as present with your kids as you are now--NOWHERE CLOSE.

 

Not just "when you are a Dr." When you are in school to become one--it is unbelieveable the amt of time it eats up.

 

You need to investigate the whole shebang--what kind of requirements to get into medical school, the costs, the time, and the JOB. Really look hard at all of that. I would find a few Drs to shadow for a few weeks. There's such diversity, you need to see what exactly interests you.

 

Even if you do put the kiddos in school, you can't fit everything into a neat 8-3 time frame. You will miss dinners, sports games, performances, quiet talks, homework sessions. You will watch as Someone Else is the one who gets to hear the "lastest" after school talk. You will turn around and those kids will be gone. You will have to really, really work at remaining connected. The Myth of Quality Time is truly destructive, IMO. You cannot schedule connection into neat little convenient chunks; it happens best in big chunks of time, kinda like searching for diamonds--little precious stuff hidden in lots of dirt. Not enough dirt, odds are less for finding the diamonds. You will have to do it all with focus and intention, when you are exhausted. Will it be worth it to you?

Edited August 30, 2012 by Chris in VA

[Aelwydd]

I know being a doctor wouldn't be all roses and sunshine either, but I would rather have the freedom and authority a doctor has over the freedom and authority a nurse has. That is one of my reasons, the other is that I consider myself a bright person with good common sense and I have always been fascinated with the human body and all things medical. I'm not sure if those reasons are good enough or not. I have no idea what being a doctor is really like, so I cannot say how much I would enjoy that job. It seems like most doctors I have talked to and know do love their job, though.

 

If you want freedom and authority in the medical field, become a hospital administrator, or someone high up in medical malpractice. Those people dictate a huge portion of medical practice.

 

Look, I don't want to burst your bubble, but some dreams are so time intensive, and so expensive to attain, you might lose your marriage or some the relationships with your kids in the process.

 

Have you considered what you would do if you put in all that blood, sweat, and tears, and you got dinged, or restricted, or lost your hospital privileges because you got sued? Many, many doctors get sued and find that their autonomy to practice hinges more and more on rules and procedures handed down by hospital administrators and insurance companies. Some even lose their license to practice due to too many suits, and suits can happen over anything, and for many things that are outside the control of a physician.

 

So, you can can decide to go against hospital rules, but then you become more vulnerable to a malpractice suit.

 

Have you considered how many money malpractice costs? Depending on the field you go in, it can range from $80,000 to well over $300,000 a year.

 

I once wanted to be a nurse, and I went all the way through the program to mid way through clinicals. I was and am fascinated by the human body and health issues. But I found that the professional, physical, and financial trade offs of the field to more than outweigh job security and a good wage. No way was I going to go put myself in anymore debt (I wanted to be a Nurse Midwife) and practice in a field littered with litigious action, that could compromise the very license I worked so **** hard to get in the first place.

 

For these reasons and more, I admire physicians like Alice, and other medical providers for the sacrifice and hard work they put in for their service. They more than earn those high salaries, and I'd argue they're mostly underpaid as a group.

 

Don't go into something like medical school without considering these and many other costs of the program that you can't necessarily quantify or predict at this stage.

 

Other well-paid, intellectually challenging (and stabler) fields I would investigate:

 

Biology

Microbiology

Virology

Public Health/Epidemiology

Environmental Health

Edited August 30, 2012 by Aelwydd

[MeaganS]

My husband is in medical school right now (3rd year). We've been married since his second semester of college. His whole life is school. He has very little time for anything else. He just got home from a surgery rotation and this is the first time he's seen our daughters in 3 days. I had our third daughter right before my husband's Step1 exam and he was there for her birth and visited for an hour each day I was in the hospital. That was pretty much all he could afford time-wise. There have been lots of times when he has been able to spend more time with our family, but there have also been long stretches where he hasn't.

 

Most (if not all) medical schools, as far as I know, won't just let you take a class here and a class there. It is pretty much all or nothing. So doing it over time probably wouldn't be much of an option.

 

The debt is enormous. We are almost to the 100k point right now and will be only further in as time goes on.

 

My thought, as the wife of a husband in medical school, is that for our family to work, both of our lives have to be about medical school. I play 100% of a supportive roll because my husband has literally no time to take care of things here. Any time he does have, we want to be family time. This is only going to be more important as he does his residency in 2 years. The law is that they can only work you 80 hours per week, but still, that's 80 hours per week! For 5 years (he's looking at residencies/fellowships that take that long). I know there are families out there that can have both the husband and wife working under those conditions, but for our family, there is no way on earth we would be able to do that and still make our children/family a priority. His being in medical school is a job for me too, if that makes sense.

 

As for loans, there are almost no grants for medical students. My husband has 3 kids and a wife, and since I stay home, neither of us make money. Our income is exactly zero. But, regardless of the fact that we are independent, they actually take his parent's income into effect. We've researched high and low, and it doesn't matter your age or situation, they will take your parent's income under consideration before they grant you anything need-based. Despite acing the MCAT and getting all A's (and one B) so far in medical school, my husband has only received less than $1000/year in scholarships and nothing in grants. There is just not much available. Everything we use to pay for school is debt. And this is at a state school, not even a fancy private one.

 

I don't want to discourage you, but I wouldn't recommend doing it, unless God is leading you that way and you feel a great desire to do it. Medical school is a sacrifice for the entire family and if there is another career at all that could fulfill you, choose that. Given that, I'm happy to answer any questions about it, as we've only recently been through that road.

[Danestress]

Maybe you could find a job, even an entry level one, in a medical environment, and before you invest in all the school, just see how you like it and manage as a Mom who is away the better part of many days. Because if you are in medical school and a residency, you are going to have to deal with that.

 

I think it is commendable to want to support your family well and achiev goals. But only you can know how you will feel about the sacrifices you will make in terms of having someone else be the primary caregiver. I would make some women miserable and be fine with others. Just a basic 40 our. Week job might help you sort out how you and your kids do with a Mom who is pursuing something hat is demanding of her time and energy.