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Hmmmm, maybe you could say the same thing of her by allowing you to do . . . X Y Z.

 

Let's face it. We do the best we can with the tools we have, just like they did. [When I say that I don't mean that I am parenting just like them but that I am doing the best I can. Clear as mud? :P]

 

 

 

Sorry, I'm a bit snitty tonight, blue moon coinciding with that time and all. :D

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You're not ruining their lives. Two of my kiddos are homeschool graduates. They have never in their lives set foot in a brick and mortar school for a class. Heck, they have never even taken a correspondence course, done an online class or been in any kind of umbrella or K12-like program at any time through high school.

 

They are both now attending separate universities. They both had multiple scholarship offers. They are both leaders among their peers and in their campus lives. My dd is also a professional ballerina in addition to performing with her university as a scholarship student.

 

Not saying this to brag at all, but to let you know that homeschooling is the KEY to a successful life....not a detriment to it.

 

You will not ruin your child's life. You will, however, allow them to develop and grow in a nurturing, loving, environment, free from bullying, bureaucracy, peer pressure and inadequate standards of learning. You will allow them to pursue their individual interests and to discover what they truly enjoy. You will help them develop a love of learning. You will strengthen your family bonds. You will have children who care more about what is right than what is cool. You will have kids who take the lead in situations where other kids can only wait for direction. You will have independent thinkers who are literate and can write a coherent sentence. You will have children that others will wish they could be like and you will have other people say to you, "Your kids are so amazing. What did you do when they were younger to help them be so (fill in the blank) independent, kind, caring, articulate, responsible, hard working...etc. ad nauseum.

 

You are doing the right thing...and someday your kids will thank you for it. Mine have. :D

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You're not ruining their lives. Two of my kiddos are homeschool graduates. They have never in their lives set foot in a brick and mortar school for a class. Heck, they have never even taken a correspondence course, done an online class or been in any kind of umbrella or K12-like program at any time through high school.

 

They are both now attending separate universities. They both had multiple scholarship offers. They are both leaders among their peers and in their campus lives. My dd is also a professional ballerina in addition to performing with her university as a scholarship student.

 

Not saying this to brag at all, but to let you know that homeschooling is the KEY to a successful life....not a detriment to it.

 

You will not ruin your child's life. You will, however, allow them to develop and grow in a nurturing, loving, environment, free from bullying, bureaucracy, peer pressure and inadequate standards of learning. You will allow them to pursue their individual interests and to discover what they truly enjoy. You will help them develop a love of learning. You will strengthen your family bonds. You will have children who care more about what is right than what is cool. You will have kids who take the lead in situations where other kids can only wait for direction. You will have independent thinkers who are literate and can write a coherent sentence. You will have children that others will wish they could be like and you will have other people say to you, "Your kids are so amazing. What did you do when they were younger to help them be so (fill in the blank) independent, kind, caring, articulate, responsible, hard working...etc. ad nauseum.

 

You are doing the right thing...and someday your kids will thank you for it. Mine have. :D

 

Diane, you were aiming for the OP but you hit me. Thank you so very much for what you've said. I'm crying, I'll explain tomorrow, but I just want to tell you this has been an answer to prayer for me tonight. I cannot express how much I needed to hear this, and how much I do know it to be true for my own children. I hope the OP is helped, as well.

 

Printing your post for my fridge,

Tibbie

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Diane, you were aiming for the OP but you hit me. Thank you so very much for what you've said. I'm crying, I'll explain tomorrow, but I just want to tell you this has been an answer to prayer for me tonight. I cannot express how much I needed to hear this, and how much I do know it to be true for my own children. I hope the OP is helped, as well.

 

Printing your post for my fridge,

Tibbie

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm so happy it helped you. It always hurts my heart when homeschooling moms feel like they're somehow "doing less" for their kids. We are doing the BEST for our kids!

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You're not ruining their lives. Two of my kiddos are homeschool graduates. They have never in their lives set foot in a brick and mortar school for a class. Heck, they have never even taken a correspondence course, done an online class or been in any kind of umbrella or K12-like program at any time through high school.

 

They are both now attending separate universities. They both had multiple scholarship offers. They are both leaders among their peers and in their campus lives. My dd is also a professional ballerina in addition to performing with her university as a scholarship student.

 

Not saying this to brag at all, but to let you know that homeschooling is the KEY to a successful life....not a detriment to it.

 

You will not ruin your child's life. You will, however, allow them to develop and grow in a nurturing, loving, environment, free from bullying, bureaucracy, peer pressure and inadequate standards of learning. You will allow them to pursue their individual interests and to discover what they truly enjoy. You will help them develop a love of learning. You will strengthen your family bonds. You will have children who care more about what is right than what is cool. You will have kids who take the lead in situations where other kids can only wait for direction. You will have independent thinkers who are literate and can write a coherent sentence. You will have children that others will wish they could be like and you will have other people say to you, "Your kids are so amazing. What did you do when they were younger to help them be so (fill in the blank) independent, kind, caring, articulate, responsible, hard working...etc. ad nauseum.

 

You are doing the right thing...and someday your kids will thank you for it. Mine have. :D

 

Thank you. I needed to hear this tonight.

 

To the OP... :grouphug:

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I'm with Diana. My family thought we were nuts...until DD was accepted into every college to which she applied, got a great scholarship and went to a private university at no cost (including books). It was such a lovely thing to be able to tell my family!

 

Then DS got into a great private school (pharmacy) and got a scholarship there, too. (Only 2% of the pharmacy students are offered scholarships.)

 

Yes, I ruined their lives...NOT!

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Thanks for the hugs...I know she's wrong, I do...but there is still a small part of me that thinks...what if she's right?

 

:grouphug:

 

Don't even go there. You'd really feel something was "off" if it was the wrong decision for your kids. I really believe that!

 

When it was time to send our oldest to ps, I knew. And I believe I'll know if and when it's right for our younger kids. Until then, people can come alongside me or get out of the way, but we're doing what we're called to do.

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Got the "You are ruining your children's lives" speech tonight.....knew it was coming but it still sucked...

 

:grouphug:I got my first lecture yesterday from someone I trust. It was horrible.

 

You will not ruin your child's life. You will, however, allow them to develop and grow in a nurturing, loving, environment, free from bullying, bureaucracy, peer pressure and inadequate standards of learning. You will allow them to pursue their individual interests and to discover what they truly enjoy. You will help them develop a love of learning. You will strengthen your family bonds. You will have children who care more about what is right than what is cool. You will have kids who take the lead in situations where other kids can only wait for direction. You will have independent thinkers who are literate and can write a coherent sentence. You will have children that others will wish they could be like and you will have other people say to you, "Your kids are so amazing. What did you do when they were younger to help them be so (fill in the blank) independent, kind, caring, articulate, responsible, hard working...etc. ad nauseum.

 

Though not as well-said, I had the same thoughts five minutes after I hung up from that awful conversation. File it under: Things I Wish I'd Said. Thank you for your wisdom and encouraging words.

 

Diane, you were aiming for the OP but you hit me. Thank you so very much for what you've said. I'm crying, I'll explain tomorrow, but I just want to tell you this has been an answer to prayer for me tonight. I cannot express how much I needed to hear this, and how much I do know it to be true for my own children. I hope the OP is helped, as well.

 

:grouphug:

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I've gotten that speech. We can ruin our kids together.
:lol:

I've gotten the speech from my MIL. I always think, "Well, I may be, but at least I am in great company!"

I have never meet a better group of people than homeschoolers. (Okay. There are a few crazies out there. But most are so kind and encouraging! I can't imagine being in better company.)

 

You will not ruin your child's life. You will, however, allow them to develop and grow in a nurturing, loving, environment, free from bullying, bureaucracy, peer pressure and inadequate standards of learning. You will allow them to pursue their individual interests and to discover what they truly enjoy. You will help them develop a love of learning. You will strengthen your family bonds. You will have children who care more about what is right than what is cool. You will have kids who take the lead in situations where other kids can only wait for direction. You will have independent thinkers who are literate and can write a coherent sentence. You will have children that others will wish they could be like and you will have other people say to you, "Your kids are so amazing. What did you do when they were younger to help them be so (fill in the blank) independent, kind, caring, articulate, responsible, hard working...etc. ad nauseum.
Such a beautiful post. Thank you, Diane. :001_smile:
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5 years ago my parents and my ex-husband said the same thing to me. Ironically, (besides my hubby) my MIL was my biggest cheerleader.

 

Fast forward 5 years and my stupid ex and my parents think hsing was a great choice...though they have never once mentioned (or apologized ) they were originally against it lol.

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You're not ruining their lives. Two of my kiddos are homeschool graduates. They have never in their lives set foot in a brick and mortar school for a class. Heck, they have never even taken a correspondence course, done an online class or been in any kind of umbrella or K12-like program at any time through high school.

 

They are both now attending separate universities. They both had multiple scholarship offers. They are both leaders among their peers and in their campus lives. My dd is also a professional ballerina in addition to performing with her university as a scholarship student.

 

Not saying this to brag at all, but to let you know that homeschooling is the KEY to a successful life....not a detriment to it.

 

You will not ruin your child's life. You will, however, allow them to develop and grow in a nurturing, loving, environment, free from bullying, bureaucracy, peer pressure and inadequate standards of learning. You will allow them to pursue their individual interests and to discover what they truly enjoy. You will help them develop a love of learning. You will strengthen your family bonds. You will have children who care more about what is right than what is cool. You will have kids who take the lead in situations where other kids can only wait for direction. You will have independent thinkers who are literate and can write a coherent sentence. You will have children that others will wish they could be like and you will have other people say to you, "Your kids are so amazing. What did you do when they were younger to help them be so (fill in the blank) independent, kind, caring, articulate, responsible, hard working...etc. ad nauseum.

 

You are doing the right thing...and someday your kids will thank you for it. Mine have. :D

 

 

Beautiful!! Exactly the person we need to have speak to us. Wisdom and experience... thank you so much! Saving your post too. :)

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:grouphug:

 

My father said the same thing to me last year while we were vacationing with my parents. :glare: I calmly told him the educational choices of my dh and I are our business and the topic was no longer open for discussion. The memory still hurts, but I have tried to rise above it and not let his opinion damage our relationship.

 

It does not hurt my eldest dd has started community college at 17. :D. She still has no idea what she wants to do, so this is a good choice for us right now and is a great way for her to transition.

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To the OP, I am so sorry. It hurts to hear that from your own mother. My mother has been telling me that I have been ruining my daughter's life before she was even born. She will be extremely happy (sarcasm) when I tell her that I am preparing to move cross country after the new year.

 

I would just let it go. The end results will tell all.

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You poor thing! I got that speech from my mom when my oldest was 4 and we wouldn't send him to preschool. She was convinced by some teacher friends of hers that I was going to ruin my kids. I had to finally set a boundary that it was our decision to make and we certainly didn't make it lightly and that if she could not be supportive, then we wouldn't discuss it. She hung up on me and we didn't talk for 4 months (her choice.) It took a while (like 2 years) to come around. She didn't actually say that she supported me, but conversations I had with some of her friends let me know that she was bragging about us:). By the time my oldest got to high school age, we were able to have intelligent conversations about our plans and goals and I was able to listen to her concerns and address them. In my mom's last few months, she told me often how proud she was of me and my kids and how she was wrong - that there was more than one right way to do things. Now I am all in a puddle because my mom isn't here to see any of my children go off to college.

 

All I can say is read Joanne's bean dip article, have confidence in yourself and your decisions, vent here but be positive with others around you, be respectful, but have boundaries. Change can be painful. Renegotiating relationship boundaries will often result in push-back. Look at all of this as a marathon, not a race.

 

ETA: Joanne's bean dip article.

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Thanks everyone for the hugs and the understanding. We have been homeschooling for three years and while we have agreed to disagree its seems like every year at this time she gets a little crazy....:001_huh:

 

Like I said I knew it was coming, she has been dropping hints about sending them to school but she finally cornered me last night and decided to offer her "opinion," since according to her its her right as a grandparent.....

 

And actually, me ruining the kids lives was just a small part of the lecture:glare:

 

Oh well, it will blow over again I'm sure....

 

Thanks again.

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Thanks everyone for the hugs and the understanding. We have been homeschooling for three years and while we have agreed to disagree its seems like every year at this time she gets a little crazy....:001_huh:

 

Like I said I knew it was coming, she has been dropping hints about sending them to school but she finally cornered me last night and decided to offer her "opinion," since according to her its her right as a grandparent.....

 

And actually, me ruining the kids lives was just a small part of the lecture:glare:

 

Oh well, it will blow over again I'm sure....

 

Thanks again.

 

I see it as a right of a grandparent to ask some questions and to even express concern at times. But I would want it to be within an atmosphere of respect. And I would want them to ask me before making assumptions about how things are going to be. Honestly if my ILs or my parents had a true interest in what we were doing, I would be thrilled. But my Dad simply makes statements based on what he thinks is going on (which is so far off that it isn't funny) and my ILs ask questions with the intent of disproving what I'm doing.

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Well, if it would help you feel any better.......

 

I homeschool and I have eleven grandchildren ages newborn to eight with two more on the way. One of my stepdaughters recently announced that this year my (homeschooled since K) granddaughter age seven was going to have to go to public school this year due to the need for mom to pick up some more hours at work........I tried to 'help', of course, by offering some ideas to keep her homeschooling because of course she is just going to ruin my grandchild with this public education scheme! :lol:

 

Oh, and of course I'm convinced her sister, a SAHM, really ought to be homeschooling her two school-age kids instead of sending them to private school........

 

Another daughter with a four year old is currently being inundated with information regarding the positive benefits of homeschooling.

 

The tide is turning, and more interfering grannies are recommending homeschool. Yeah, I should stay out of it, but hey they keep coming here and asking me to babysit for free so I guess that means they get to hear my 'ideas', right?

 

I know this doesn't really help you, but I hoped that maybe you'd find it a little humorous. :D

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Well, if it would help you feel any better.......

 

I homeschool and I have eleven grandchildren ages newborn to eight with two more on the way. One of my stepdaughters recently announced that this year my (homeschooled since K) granddaughter age seven was going to have to go to public school this year due to the need for mom to pick up some more hours at work........I tried to 'help', of course, by offering some ideas to keep her homeschooling because of course she is just going to ruin my grandchild with this public education scheme! :lol:

 

Oh, and of course I'm convinced her sister, a SAHM, really ought to be homeschooling her two school-age kids instead of sending them to private school........

 

Another daughter with a four year old is currently being inundated with information regarding the positive benefits of homeschooling.

 

The tide is turning, and more interfering grannies are recommending homeschool. Yeah, I should stay out of it, but hey they keep coming here and asking me to babysit for free so I guess that means they get to hear my 'ideas', right?

 

I know this doesn't really help you, but I hoped that maybe you'd find it a little humorous. :D

 

:lol: I'm not a grandmother (not even close), and I find this funny. In about 20 years, I will be that grandmother. ;) :lol:

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Thanks everyone for the hugs and the understanding. We have been homeschooling for three years and while we have agreed to disagree its seems like every year at this time she gets a little crazy....:001_huh:.

:grouphug: This is our 10th year homeschooling, and finally, this is the first year that my parents have not gone crazy about our decision to homeschool. I hope your mom changes her mind sooner than mine did!

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:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

My parents are supportive of my homeschooling, but I did get a surprising comment last night. My mom wondered (quite incredulously, almost exasperatedly) why in the world I would teach my kids latin. I was honestly taken aback, not so much by the question, but the tone in which it was asked.

 

I gave her my reasons and we moved on, but it still stung a little bit and confused me, too. Who knew she would have such a seemingly strong opinion about a language? :confused:

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My parents are supportive of my homeschooling, but I did get a surprising comment last night. My mom wondered (quite incredulously, almost exasperatedly) why in the world I would teach my kids latin. I was honestly taken aback, not so much by the question, but the tone in which it was asked.

 

I gave her my reasons and we moved on, but it still stung a little bit and confused me, too. Who knew she would have such a seemingly strong opinion about a language?

My mom found out in the same conversation that DS was learning Latin and taking tennis lessons. Oh, my goodness! My mom hit the roof over how 'elitist' I was making him. Yeah. I decided to wait and tell her he is also taking golf lessons. :smilielol5:
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My mom found out in the same conversation that DS was learning Latin and taking tennis lessons. Oh, my goodness! My mom hit the roof over how 'elitist' I was making him. Yeah. I decided to wait and tell her he is also taking golf lessons. :smilielol5:

 

:lol: Elitist! There may be something to that... I don't know, I didn't ask why she felt the way she did. I just told her my reasoning such as English vocab and mother language to the romance languages - which we will study at some point in time. At least one, possibly three. I think they need to learn some Spanish, DD wants to learn French, and *I* am fascinated with Italian - and Italy and would love to go there some day.

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I see it as a right of a grandparent to ask some questions and to even express concern at times. But I would want it to be within an atmosphere of respect. And I would want them to ask me before making assumptions about how things are going to be. Honestly if my ILs or my parents had a true interest in what we were doing, I would be thrilled. But my Dad simply makes statements based on what he thinks is going on (which is so far off that it isn't funny) and my ILs ask questions with the intent of disproving what I'm doing.

 

:iagree:

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My mom found out in the same conversation that DS was learning Latin and taking tennis lessons. Oh, my goodness! My mom hit the roof over how 'elitist' I was making him. Yeah. I decided to wait and tell her he is also taking golf lessons. :smilielol5:

 

:lol: What, no fencing? :D I would reply, "Yes, Mother Dear, we are hoping that the superior and elitist education we provide this son will allow him to someday pull our entire family above and beyond its typically shallow social level." :lol:

 

(No-Offense Disclaimer: This is what I would say to my mother, but I am in no way commenting on the social level of your family of orientation or your family of procreation.)

 

Seriously, my oldest (7.5) daughter "started Latin" this year with Prima Latina, which is just right for a 2nd grader. :001_wub: She also "started French" with Ecoutez, Parlez -- also just right for a 2nd grader. :001_wub: She is excited, I am glad the programs are gentle and simple, my husband is supportive (i.e., "I trust your decisions, Honey"), my in-laws are enthusiastic (they grew up overseas and are fluent in three languages), and my monolingual parents are shaking their heads and rolling their eyes. :001_rolleyes: "Latin? Latin? And French? Oh-ho, don't we think we are really something, la-dee-dah, with our French-and-Latin? Hmmm... what about Spanish?" Whatever. My answer:

 

 

 

We are the intergalactic hub of elitism.

 

 

Edited by Sahamamama
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