Sue G in PA Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Yes, the same child I have had MAJOR issues with over the years. The same child who tries my patience every.single.day. The same child who was hospitalized 2 years ago b/c his behavior had become out of control. I just don't GET him! His behavior has become less violent and he is more in control of his actions now. He is def. "growing up". But, he still has major issues. School started for us 2 weeks ago. He has good days (when he will get most of his work done w/ minimal complaining...and some days even JOYFULLY). And then he has days (like today) when he fights me about EVERY.BLESSED.SUBJECT! I just don't get it! It's every other day. A good day followed by a really bad day, rinse and repeat. I don't know what to do with him anymore! I have absolutely NO patience for his tantrums, his whining, his "I can't do this" attitude. He acts like a 2yo. We aren't even up to full speed yet! Dh is away on a trip this week...he has more patience for ds11 than I do. When he is home, ds11 will do most of his work with dh. He has gotten 3 subjects done today (handwriting, math (1/2 of it) and History (which we do together). And he has already melted down. He stomped off, was walking up and down our short hallway saying, "I just don't know what to do anymore!"...almost like he was WAY overwhelmed about something. I sent him to his room to cool off, he refused to go...that's when I got really ticked (so sick of him telling ME what he will and will not do), yelled, threatened and eventually took away friend privileges for the week. Yeah, I know...not my best parenting moment. :glare: But I'm done! I'm just DONE! I don't know if I want suggestions or just needed to vent. I have a LONG night ahead of me, no relief in sight with dh away (I know...big deal...some of you single parent or have military spouses on year long deployments...). My 4yo shoved 2 CDs in my Macbook, breaking the CD drive, I have to go get that fixed, have no $ with which to do that and can't just leave the computer anyway b/c it is our only one. I just need to scream and cry and then I'll be find. Thanks for letting me vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Vent away, that's why we're here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: When my dd attended public school, a good day at school was inevitably followed by a horrible afternoon at home. We finally figured out that the effort of holding it together created such a huge strain that she had to release the stress and tension somehow (and hadn't developed the skills to do so appropriately). Is there any way to set your school schedule so that you can accommodate this on-off pattern? A regular day followed by a light day with lots of breaks, exercise and rest? :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Sunny beaches! I'd be climbing the walls too! Maybe you should go out for a treat and see if you can salvage your day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma_Bear Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mchel210 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 sorry...I am in the same boat with my 16 yo...but I no longer get super upset...I walk away and go outside to cool off. I come in and remove all the TV's, computers, video games...etc. Nothing left. Things right now are all gone. Nothing is coming back until things are better and rules are followed. It has made a difference in just taking everything away. You want it back, you follow the rules. It is SUPER HARD as a parent to follow through. I always had given in because they did behave and started making the right choices...but I learned recently to keep the punishment however long I said...and it is finally working better for me...small steps. At least for me...:) Teens are so hard and now I have a 11yo DD that is starting up. ahhh... I am sorry you are at your wits end. Some days we have to just go outside and be alone. Or take you baby outside for a walk and let you 11yo sit in the house while you collect yourself. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Just listening to the bickering around here drives me insane! Then like you I have a son who takes soooooo long to accomplish his work. He can do it quickly and well when motivated. I don't get why some days are so difficult. Sorry that I just ranted back. I am sitting in the middle of my dc's bickering over whose turn on the WII. I thought it was supposed to be fun.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: 10 day or 10 months. Have your support system away any length of time is tough. And, it always seems like when they leave, that is when the *&^% will hit the fan. Appliances break down, vehicles need a new windshield, kids try to break expensive electronics. Mom's full plate starts to overflow. Do not discount your yourself and your experience based on the length of time your DH is away. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 My oldest DD21 gave me a lot of hard times. Sometimes I didn't think I could take much more, but thankfully things are much better now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NASDAQ Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 There's a reason people have often sent boys in that age group away to be educated. Not fit for human interaction! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 Thanks everyone. It's been a long day. I had to stop at Target for printer ink and my 4yo (who is the sweetest most compliant little thing most of the time) decides to have a mammoth meldown in the middle of the store as we are checking out. :glare: REALLY??? Sigh. I'm praying tomorrow is a better day. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I think that's the age I told my second son, who has the personality you describe in your son, that I was finished being responsible for his education. I had forced him to attain enough education to work at McDonald's for the rest of his life, but he was not going to expect to live with me while he did it. I threw out my plans for him, and we started from scratch. It's time to for him to take responsibility. Let him choose the subjects he wants to study, set his own goals, and then support him in that to the best of your ability. My second son is now 15, we have a great relationship now, and he is studying some interesting subjects. He finally eventually agreed to study a couple of subject I choose for him, without problems and hassles. He comes to me when he needs help, but is otherwise an independent learner. He now sees the value in studying (his goals!) and is picking up the pace/rigor of his studies some this year in anticipation of bigger goals in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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