I am NOT a MAID!!

[mommytobees]

Okay, this is in part vent.... but if someone has some POSITIVE comments to make please feel free!!

 

I am NOT a maid!! I don't clean up after you. YOU clean up after yourself.

 

BUT, I am not talking about my kids.

 

I'm talking about my husband!!

 

I just can't keep up anymore. I am currently away from home taking care of my mom who just had surgery, so I'm having a break from "normal" life.

 

Years ago we had this problem when we first started homeschooling. Someone (here or on another board, I don't remember which) said this is what they said to their husband:

 

Pick 3:

 

1) Clean house

 

2) Homeschooled kids

 

3) Pretty wife & clean kids when you get home

 

4) Managed house

 

5) Dinner at X time

 

6) Yard work done

 

For years we did this..... and then we went to sea duty.

 

ALL of it has been back on my plate for years... fast forward and for _some reason_ :glare::glare: the kids grew up and need more of my time.

 

DUH!! High school takes A LOT more of my time.

 

I'm NOT keeping up!! I do ALL the house managing, cleaning, and meals AND I home school the kids.

 

I _KNOW_ I'll miss the kids when they are gone.... but good GRIEF!!

 

Kris

[Mandylubug]

preach it

[shanvan]

Okay, this is in part vent.... but if someone has some POSITIVE comments to make please feel free!!

 

I am NOT a maid!! I don't clean up after you. YOU clean up after yourself.

 

BUT, I am not talking about my kids.

 

I'm talking about my husband!!

 

I just can't keep up anymore. I am currently away from home taking care of my mom who just had surgery, so I'm having a break from "normal" life.

 

Years ago we had this problem when we first started homeschooling. Someone (here or on another board, I don't remember which) said this is what they said to their husband:

 

Pick 3:

 

1) Clean house

 

2) Homeschooled kids

 

3) Pretty wife & clean kids when you get home

 

4) Managed house

 

5) Dinner at X time

 

6) Yard work done

 

For years we did this..... and then we went to sea duty.

 

ALL of it has been back on my plate for years... fast forward and for _some reason_ :glare::glare: the kids grew up and need more of my time.

 

DUH!! High school takes A LOT more of my time.

 

I'm NOT keeping up!! I do ALL the house managing, cleaning, and meals AND I home school the kids.

 

I _KNOW_ I'll miss the kids when they are gone.... but good GRIEF!!

 

Kris

 

I'm not keeping up either, if it makes you feel any better, even with Dh's help. I did have to make Dh aware of all the things I was doing b/c some of it he just has no idea is being done b/c he isn't there to see it.

[mommytobees]

I'm not keeping up either, if it makes you feel any better, even with Dh's help. I did have to make Dh aware of all the things I was doing b/c some of it he just has no idea is being done b/c he isn't there to see it.

 

Your kids are about the same ages as mine. 4/98 and 5/01

 

UGH!!

 

Kris

[Mrs Mungo]

It is rough. I know why so many people wind up sending their older kids off to school eventually. Especially true for those of us with little outside support. I'm there with you, sister. :grouphug:

[IsabelC]

Does your man really expect you to do nearly everything?

Or is he suffering from domestic blindness, where he either doesn't notice what needs to be done or doesn't notice what you've already done?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Amen. I do it all around here, and sometimes, things just have to slide. Like dh's prescriptions which have been sitting on my desk to order, because he can't do it himself. I think I may have posted about the last time I tried to make him do it himself and found out he was having his secretary try to order the meds. UGH!!!

 

They just really don't understand what exactly we do all day. For reals.

[GWOB]

Word!!!

 

We always had a hard time adjusting after deployments. After the honeymoon phase, I often wanted to kick my precious dh in the face. Sea duty was the worst time. I thought shore duty would be better, but he was working full time and going to school full time. The first few months were ugly:tongue_smilie:. One day he came home with some Dr. Phil wisdom (yeah, I know, right?). He decided it was more important to him to not sit on top of a pile of laundry than is was to me. He finally started helping out more. I think I have him mostly trained now, except for the shoes he leaves in the middle of everything (bless his heart).

 

I know I'm not really offering anything useful. Just wanted to say I GET IT!!!

 

Rant away! Get chocolate and Mike's. It will help.

[mommytobees]

It is rough. I know why so many people wind up sending their older kids off to school eventually. Especially true for those of us with little outside support. I'm there with you, sister. :grouphug:

 

Oh, no kidding!! We've been at his new SHORE duty station for the past year and it hasn't improved!! Plus, I'm having a hard time adjusting to shore duty and the area. PLUS, I hate the area we are living. Makes Norfolk look _nice_ and pretty.

 

Does your man really expect you to do nearly everything?

Or is he suffering from domestic blindness, where he either doesn't notice what needs to be done or doesn't notice what you've already done?

 

Yes. He. Does. We are going to have a nice discussion about it when I get back. Things have to change. As for him.... he just has domestic blindness. I'm considering just not making dinner for a few months.:D:w00t::eek::leaving:

 

Kris

[mom4him]

I totally hear what you are saying. I have always struggled through before but my dh can not work away from home any more. He can help around the house. A couple of weeks ago I had an emotional break down.:tongue_smilie: I wasn't angry but I was in tears. We had started school, the sink was full of dirty dishes, the laundry was piled high, the floors needed attention, ......... He can no longer drive and do any of bill paying, etc running. This takes a lot of my time every week.

 

As he was sitting at his computer playing solitaire and had been for some time I told him I simply could not do it any more. I understand he doesn't like doing laundry so I really need him to help keep the dishes/kitchen up. I try to be sensitive to how he is feeling but I don't just jump in if I see he is doing well.

[mommytobees]

Word!!!

 

We always had a hard time adjusting after deployments. After the honeymoon phase, I often wanted to kick my precious dh in the face. Sea duty was the worst time. I thought shore duty would be better, but he was working full time and going to school full time. The first few months were ugly:tongue_smilie:. One day he came home with some Dr. Phil wisdom (yeah, I know, right?). He decided it was more important to him to not sit on top of a pile of laundry than is was to me. He finally started helping out more. I think I have him mostly trained now, except for the shoes he leaves in the middle of everything (bless his heart).

 

I know I'm not really offering anything useful. Just wanted to say I GET IT!!!

 

Rant away! Get chocolate and Mike's. It will help.

 

Oh, the 13 month old puppy trained my dh to put his shoes away. She doesn't chew the shoes, she just hides them!!!

 

I'm considering boycotting laundry and dinner when I get back home.

 

Kris

[shanvan]

Oh, no kidding!! We've been at his new SHORE duty station for the past year and it hasn't improved!! Plus, I'm having a hard time adjusting to shore duty and the area. PLUS, I hate the area we are living. Makes Norfolk look _nice_ and pretty.

 

 

 

Yes. He. Does. We are going to have a nice discussion about it when I get back. Things have to change. As for him.... he just has domestic blindness. I'm considering just not making dinner for a few months.:D:w00t::eek::leaving:

 

Kris

 

I have taken a break from making dinner before. Just to help it sink in I go out with my mom and treat enjoy a nice meal wherever I feel like eating. Dinner is whatever the mess makers at home figure out. I leave as soon as I possibly can after Dh gets home. I'm not mean, I just tell everyone matter of factly how it is and leave. It's not something I do often, and it's only one night, but it does help me regain my sanity. Somehow they have all eaten, and everything is cleaned up by the time I get home.

 

 

[GWOB]

Oh, the 13 month old puppy trained my dh to put his shoes away. She doesn't chew the shoes, she just hides them!!!

 

I'm considering boycotting laundry and dinner when I get back home.

 

Kris

 

No fair! My lab never chewed on shoes! And you should totally go on strike! I now refuse to wash clothes that are not inside the laundry basket. Seriously, how hard is it to put your dirty clothes IN the basket? Not near the basket. IN the basket!!!

[mommytobees]

No fair! My lab never chewed on shoes! And you should totally go on strike! I now refuse to wash clothes that are not inside the laundry basket. Seriously, how hard is it to put your dirty clothes IN the basket? Not near the basket. IN the basket!!!

 

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

 

I fixed the "in-the-hamper" problem when we first got married. For some reason my new-dh couldn't figure out HOW to get it into the hamper.

 

Soooooo, I was very pregnant and got fed up.

 

Snicker. I washed ONLY the clothes IN the hamper. I lugged the hamper down to the laundry facilities in our tiny apartment complex. Washed it. Dried it (you had to stay if you didn't want to lose your dryer and quarters). Folded it. AND, put it away.

 

And. Left every. single. piece. of clothes on the floor.

 

:D

 

The problem was cured within 2 weeks (2 wash cycles). AND before the baby was born.

 

Passive agressive. Yes.

NOT my normal.

But it has now become the family joke.

 

Kris

[MerryAtHope]

High school takes A LOT more of my time.

 

 

It sure does!!!!

[Jpoy85]

I have taken a break from making dinner before. Just to help it sink in I go out with my mom and treat enjoy a nice meal wherever I feel like eating. Dinner is whatever the mess makers at home figure out. I leave as soon as I possibly can after Dh gets home. I'm not mean, I just tell everyone matter of factly how it is and leave. It's not something I do often, and it's only one night, but it does help me regain my sanity. Somehow they have all eaten, and everything is cleaned up by the time I get home.

 

I started doing this. I kept telling DH and he must have thought i was kidding until i actually left. Hes still no Betty Crocker or Martha, but its small progress. Very small. ;)

[KidsHappen]

I almost had a break down the last time I came home from GA after my dd's surgery. I figured that after all I had been through this summer the very least they would do was make sure that the house was resonably neat when I got home. It was not. I knew that I did not have the energy to really tackle it yet so I haven't. I threw a fit and told them that they had to keep the living room and loft clean or they could not use them and they have done a fairly good job of that (at least keeping it decluttered) but the reat of the house is in serious need of help.