So torn about homeschooling my youngest

[MamaBearTeacher]

I have been homeschooling my two oldest who have severe special needs and that has been best for them. My third DS is 6 now and I have homeschooled him up until now but don't know what to do about next year.

 

He went to day camp this summer and loved it. He was well-behaved at home the whole time he was in camp. The ratio in camp was very low.

 

I tried to teach him the basics - letters and numbers - all last year. He learned most of his letters and learned to write them but then refused for a while and now he can only write a few. He can identify the first letter of many words. He learned his numbers to 10 but now gets confused and will not write them. He also really dislikes coloring with crayons.

 

The writing has turned into a bit of a battle if I try to push it and I am wondering if he will just learn better in an environment where he feels he has to do what he is told. Then again he might rebel after a while if it is too much. I don't want him to become the bad student or problem child of the class.

 

He responds well to learning science and I was sooo looking forward to doing SOTW with him. I guess we can still do it but he might be tired. I read to him tons and he has turned into an amazing storyteller.

 

There are many other factors in our lives that affect this decision but those are my basic worries. The thought of sending him to school for a couple of years to learn the basics crossed my mind but that seems like it might be unsettling.

 

'Just interested in your thoughts and related experiences.

[besroma]

I do not have any experience with this, but bumping for you. :grouphug:

[Katy]

Do you think he's resisting school work as a way to get more attention from you?

 

I'm not sure he's ready for first grade if you did put him in school. From what it sounds like he'd do okay in Kinder, and he might even love it.

 

Do you think he's not getting enough attention for being "special" and if you put him in school he'd have a sense of normality he's not always getting at home?

[amy g.]

If he is 4, I would say that he may just not be ready to write letters yet.

 

Focus on the subjects he likes. Have him only write a few letters a day, and do plenty of activities that build fine motor skills like playing with molding clay.

 

I think you will be amazed at how quickly he advances once he is developmentally ready.

[amy g.]

I was looking at your signature. I see that he is now 6.

 

I would have him work on writing, in that case, but I would focus on having him do one or two perfect letters. Once he has done a perfect one, he can quit. If he resists, and is sloppy, he can keep trying.

[Chris in VA]

I would keep him home. I had one in school and two homeschooled, and the one at school always felt a little left out. He said he didn't, at the time, but he later told me he didn't have the context for the conversations we had at the dinner table, and he already felt "different" from the other kids and from us parents, so not having the bonding time and the home education really made that worse.

Only you can know if this would be a problem for your ds.

 

I think you can handle "the basics." :001_smile: You can go at his own pace at home, and try different strategies. I agree with the above poster who said he'd possibly be behind in first grade if he isn't writing much or reading yet, but it depends on the school and the classroom. If, however, it turns out that he needs a little extra help, home is, imo, the best place to get that. At school, not only will he be compared with others, but also the teacher may simply not have the time to sit with him one-on-one and help him. He may end up being taught by a 6th grader--this happens at my dd's elementary school, where the 6th graders listen to the K and 1st graders read every morning. I like that, but it's done because the teachers can't provide one-on-one as much as the kids need. (It does benefit the 6th graders, of course, and I don't think it's bad, but if there's a problem, the teacher isn't always immediately aware of it.)

[Tranquility7]

The writing has turned into a bit of a battle if I try to push it and I am wondering if he will just learn better in an environment where he feels he has to do what he is told..

 

Honestly, I think this is the central issue. Your DS thinks he doesn't have to do what you say. It sounds to me like you tell him to do something and it turns into a discussion with him, and his will prevails. Enrolling him in school will not fix that, and will probably make it worse. But on the other hand, HSing is simply not possible with a child who will not obey (and trying to do it in that environment results in lots of conflicts, stress, etc. – ugh!).

 

If it were me, I’d simply concentrate a LOT on your relationship with him and on his obedience to you. Make sure you are “filling up his tank†with lots of love and affection (particularly since you are busy HSing your other kids too), but ALSO require obedience from him. Since he is only 6, I think you can let the academics go for a little while (especially anything involving writing – I’d just do reading aloud and discussion type of academics for now). I’d instead focus my efforts on his obedience in other areas, such as doing chores, sitting or playing quietly during reading time, etc. Once you have worked with him on his obedience in other areas, then start applying it again in academics.

 

The Negotiation Generation is an excellent book that might really help you (it has certainly helped me!).

[lea_lpz]

Do you think he's resisting school work as a way to get more attention from you?

 

I'm not sure he's ready for first grade if you did put him in school. From what it sounds like he'd do okay in Kinder, and he might even love

 

:iagree:

 

Kindergarten in ps is a lot more demanding then in the past. I would probably opt for K as opposed to 1st where he would be required to start writing words and sentences as well as read.

 

I can't give you advice on what to do. It's got to be based on what is right for you and your family. If you want him home, you might need to start being firmer about doing school time and not allow him to do activities he enjoys until the school work is done.

 

My dd doesn't always want to cooperate during school either. She's 5.

 

If you think he's missing out on the social aspect, could you find activities or a homeschool co-op for him to participate in?

[jessicalb]

Think about why you homeschool, and what your priorities are. Will your 6yo be best served in reaching your most important goals at home or at school?

 

Relationship, character, and an attempt to instill a love of learning are my top priorities. So I would want him home. :)

[Cera]

Honestly, I would probably try him in school.

 

It sounds like he might do well and if not you can always bring him home. I think that some kids truly do learn better from someone other than mom (I have one) and a year or two spent learning the basics would take the pressure off of you (it sounds like you are worried about where he is). It would also give you another year or two to focus on your special needs kiddos and then when you did decide to bring him home you could really dive into the science and history you are looking forward to.

[Ellie]

I would expect writing to be a "battle" with a little 6yo child. :-) That you've "homeschooled" up to now is irrelevant, as not all children attend kindergarten anyway. :-)

 

Not all 5yo children learn all of their letters and numbers, not even the children who are sent to school for kindergarten. That he "refused" for awhile might only mean that he wasn't ready when he was 5, or that you used a method that was completely not his learning style, and since he was just a child, he couldn't have a logical discussion with you about it; he could only refuse.

 

Why should he have to endure an environment where he is *required* to "learn"? Would *you* want to do that? He's just a little guy. He still needs to be home with his mother, and with his siblings. It's up to you to evaluate your instructional methods, and to do something different if necessary; IOW, the burden is on you, not on him.

[ondreeuh]

If you put him in PS 1st grade right now, he would be behind. It might not be as easy as you think for him to catch up in a school setting when he is in a class with 25-30 other students who are doing more difficult work. If you had not worked with him last year, then I would think maybe he just wasn't exposed to those academic skills and would catch up. Since you did work with him last year, there might be more going on than just attitude if he has regressed that much.

 

If you are lucky, he could get an aide to work with him in the classroom or do pull-out, but IMO the quality of that instruction is really dependent on the skill of the aide and the tools they have at their disposal. My son qualified for help and the aide mostly just assisted him, but didn't actually teach him missing skills. Provided that you get to a place where he is willing to work with you, and provided you have time and energy left for him after working with your older two, then you are in a better position to provide instruction than the school is. Obviously that is pretty personal to your family and circumstances.

 

If you could enroll your son in kindergarten, preferably half-day, then it might be a good compromise. If that's not an option, then I would really consider what I could do to get him on board to do school at home. I know with my kids, any new routine is resisted but once I am consistent and they learn to expect it, they fall in line without fuss. It's just the adjustment period that sucks.