2_girls_mommy Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 We're in this boat too.... Dh changed jobs and is making what he did a decade ago. The cost of living increases have not kept up with his industry... This has been us for quite a while. Though my dh actually makes less than he did 12 yrs ago when we got married. And gas was only a 1.15 a gallon or so. Groceries were nothing then compared to now etc. We have been able through this entire recession (8 yrs of lower pay and jobs here) for me to stay home and keep homeschooling. We have adjusted our living. But at some point everything gives out. We need house repairs, car repairs, and now a car payment (dh had to get a newer car this year. We had two that were constantly in the shop) etc. So I am now working part time. It isn't for much pay, but I finally found something that fits our hsing schedule. I hate it. After less than a month I am worn out with housework, schoolwork, and work work. I am on someone else's schedule now. Even getting dinner and shopping is hard. Because we school all day, and then go straight to work. When I get home it is late for making dinner, but dh isn't home yet, so I have to, and then baths and bed quickly for girls. But we are thankful for this bit of extra income. It is going to make a big difference for us. So I have to make it work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 It makes me very sad. I have NO issue with women working if they want to, but I hate that women who prefer to stay home have to work. Dawn And I think this is the part that can be hard. We've always wanted me to be home. Actually dh would have been a better SAHD in the early years, but he had better earning power. I've been fortunate that downsizing our lifestyle and some piddly part-time work keeps us above drowning. It's getting better again, but I'm holding my breath. Honestly, it can end up making one question if they married the right person. It's hard to see other women putting in the same hard work and effort into their homelife and getting more options. They can run the kids to numerous activities, they can order books and curriculum packages just to see if they will work. Dh worked really hard for a number of years for us to have options, but because I married someone in the wrong industry we are now eating rice for dinner. Okay, I don't think that really, but my mind drifts there occasionally. We watched his industry tank in our previous location in all of about 6-8 weeks because of a man made disaster. No one was doing construction work, the jobs he had scheduled cancelled because of the uncertainty of their jobs. He went from having about 3-5 months of work scheduled to nothing in a few a weeks time. This is the kind of thing that is hard on a marriage. Man promises to provide, woman promises to stay home. His line of provision dries up (it's not just construction either), creates tension, and those "worse case scenario" plans get put into place. Fortunately we had options. But it damaged everything. Going back to work is really the least of all the carp that happened. The financial recovering is just the tip of healing that needs to happen for a lot of people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 This is the kind of thing that is hard on a marriage. Man promises to provide, woman promises to stay home. His line of provision dries up (it's not just construction either), creates tension, and those "worse case scenario" plans get put into place. Fortunately we had options. But it damaged everything. Going back to work is really the least of all the carp that happened. The financial recovering is just the tip of healing that needs to happen for a lot of people. My dh took a massive, unexpected, unannounced pay cut last November, just a year after we bought a new home. When his checks came and were as much as 75% less than before, his boss just kept giving lame excuses until he admitted the pay cut was permanent due to falling business income. I guess at least he still has a job. Since this happened, we have come close to divorcing twice. And I would have never thought that would happen to us. The stress of a sudden pay loss, an inability to meet obligations, a breakdown in communication, and more has shaken us to the core. Our relationship is still struggling. Our relationship with friends, family, and neighbors is just as effected. I am more isolated than ever. Now, nearly a year later, dh still has not found another full time position despite applying constantly. He has found, at the age of 49, 2 minimum wage jobs part time in addition to his original job. Working 80+ hours a week and we still can't make ends meet. His confidence is gone. I have had to get public assistance, borrow from parents, accept money from loving friends, sell important items, and more just to stay afloat. We have a special needs child, another one with learning difficulties, and he is determined I stay at home. I don't know how much longer we can last though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 My dh took a massive, unexpected, unannounced pay cut last November, just a year after we bought a new home. When his checks came and were as much as 75% less than before, his boss just kept giving lame excuses until he admitted the pay cut was permanent due to falling business income. I guess at least he still has a job. Since this happened, we have come close to divorcing twice. And I would have never thought that would happen to us. The stress of a sudden pay loss, an inability to meet obligations, a breakdown in communication, and more has shaken us to the core. Our relationship is still struggling. Our relationship with friends, family, and neighbors is just as effected. I am more isolated than ever. Now, nearly a year later, dh still has not found another full time position despite applying constantly. He has found, at the age of 49, 2 minimum wage jobs part time in addition to his original job. Working 80+ hours a week and we still can't make ends meet. His confidence is gone. I have had to get public assistance, borrow from parents, accept money from loving friends, sell important items, and more just to stay afloat. We have a special needs child, another one with learning difficulties, and he is determined I stay at home. I don't know how much longer we can last though. :grouphug::grouphug: My dh is 51, I get it. I'm sorry. I hope you are feeling better from your illness today though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: to all those who are struggling. I can definitely empathize with a lot of the stories that have been shared. :( Praying for the economy to turn around once and for all soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I probably would've had to find a job if we had a mortgage. As it is we're squished into a house that is WAY too small but DH's job is straight commission and all over the place financially. We're going to ride it out in this house as long as we can! Gas is going to kill us this fall. DH is going into his busy season where he drives a lot and we're going to be in a hard spot until the money starts rolling in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I'm starting to pick up part-time work. We are feeling squeezed as costs go up and our dc get older. Not only do the basics cost more, but we have to purchase more just because the kids are older. Older kids = more food, more expensive clothing, more activities, etc. I am fortunate that I can see the writing on the wall with regards to finances. We are doing fine right now, but I can see that we will need an additional chunk of income once our oldest dc hit high school. With that end in mind we are starting to have me work part-time from home, and dh has a longer-term plan to snag a better paying position. I hope that laying the groundwork now will help us to mitigate the upcoming financial squeeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 The weakened construction industry seems to be a theme in this thread. My DH's work used to be tied to construction, and he lost his job and went through extended unemployment a few years ago. The last two companies he worked for aren't even in business anymore. We moved closer to where I grew up, and I was the first to find a job. DH found a job but doesn't make what he did before. As I said in an earlier post, my 53 year old husband lost his job after 10 years and has only found a long term temporary job with much lower pay and no benefits. He is also in an industry that is directly tied to construction. The only reason he has a job is because a local philanthropist has tried to revitalize an area of our town. Other than that construction, I rarely see *any* construction in our area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 As I said in an earlier post, my 53 year old husband lost his job after 10 years and has only found a long term temporary job with much lower pay and no benefits. He is also in an industry that is directly tied to construction. The only reason he has a job is because a local philanthropist has tried to revitalize an area of our town. Other than that construction, I rarely see *any* construction in our area. ALL jobs are tired to construction in one way or another. Work in retail? If construction workers can't buy, sales drop. Work in places like Lowes or Home Depot? Ours have taken huge hits. Work in Insurance? No new homes means no new policies. People are reducing coverage on older homes, and on other things like vehicles and life insurance so that means less commission for agents. Work in transportation? How about in logging? Several saw mills have shut down here due to huge decreases in demand for wood products. I could go on but I think you get the pucture. One industry having difficult has a ripple effect on the rest of the economy, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I think it is really area dependent as construction is going pretty well here. My brother is in construction and they have a waiting list for jobs as per usual and we have some pretty big commercial projects right now as well. Personally, I cannot think of any hs'ers I know going back to work. I've not been in the scene long enough to really know trends and don't know a whole lot anyway. I did know one mom that went to work last year but I think that was because they decided to enroll another child in private school, necessitating more money. Not that they had to enroll her because she needed the job as they still are hs'ing one child. Her husband works at the same place as mine though and probably has a similar pay as well. They seem to spend more than us though by a fair shot so it is likely their budget is much tighter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I think that the economic crisis has a LOT to do with it. I know several moms that have gone back to work because of it. Prices just keep rising on food, clothing, utilities, etc. and income isn't. At some point, the rubber meets the road for many families. I also know two contractors whose wives went back to work because not only are these men having a hard time keeping their businesses going, but they can't afford private policy insurance and have sick kids. Their wives have degrees, professional licenses, etc. that put them in a position to work and get group medical. Faith :iagree:So many SAHMs-not even homeschoolers, have gone back to work here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Since 2007 Americans have lost 40% of their wealth. It catches up with you after awhile. Here's to a turnaround shortly! I'll cheers to that! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 It makes me very sad. I have NO issue with women working if they want to, but I hate that women who prefer to stay home have to work. Dawn :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 This has been us for quite a while. Though my dh actually makes less than he did 12 yrs ago when we got married. And gas was only a 1.15 a gallon or so. Groceries were nothing then compared to now etc. We have been able through this entire recession (8 yrs of lower pay and jobs here) for me to stay home and keep homeschooling. We have adjusted our living. But at some point everything gives out. We need house repairs, car repairs, and now a car payment (dh had to get a newer car this year. We had two that were constantly in the shop) etc. So I am now working part time. It isn't for much pay, but I finally found something that fits our hsing schedule. I hate it. After less than a month I am worn out with housework, schoolwork, and work work. I am on someone else's schedule now. Even getting dinner and shopping is hard. Because we school all day, and then go straight to work. When I get home it is late for making dinner, but dh isn't home yet, so I have to, and then baths and bed quickly for girls. But we are thankful for this bit of extra income. It is going to make a big difference for us. So I have to make it work. I hear ya! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmomma Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I probably would've had to find a job if we had a mortgage. As it is we're squished into a house that is WAY too small but DH's job is straight commission and all over the place financially. We're going to ride it out in this house as long as we can! Gas is going to kill us this fall. DH is going into his busy season where he drives a lot and we're going to be in a hard spot until the money starts rolling in. Exactly. You have to cut costs wherever you can. Housing, groceries, driving as little as possible, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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