What would you do if your child was accused of something ridiculous?

[Marie131]

would you defend your child w/out question?

 

One of my neighbours came to my door today absolutely livid. There has been a history of her causing trouble w/ my children (they are afraid of her). They came in today very upset, I settled them down and sent them back out. Shortly later is when she came to my door. I asked her politely what the problem was, she started telling me some things that sounded suspicious, I told her that she was upsetting my children (they were howling w/ tears), she then told me that they used bad words to call her names. At this point she began losing credibility w/ me b/c the words my kids think are bad are pretty mild (i.e. hate, stupid ect.). I won't write the words she used but she said my son called her some very strong swear words.

 

We are a Christian family and I know my kids wouldn't use such words. In fact, they've never even heard them. I told her at this point that they would not use words they don't know. She tore a strip off me and I told her that I did not believe the things she was saying. She swore at me and said all kinds of horrible things about my family.

 

I don't believe for a second my kids would use such words. How could they, they've never heard them! My kids are nearly 5 and 7 by the way.

 

So I got to thinking, should I believe in my kids w/out question? Would you?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would believe my kids because at those ages I would be out supervising them, esp. if they had come in so upset.

[In the Rain]

 

So I got to thinking, should I believe in my kids w/out question? Would you?

 

I don't think you should believe them without question all of the time, but in this situation, I definitely would. Your neighbor demonstrated that she does swear, and you have no reason to think that your children would. She sounds unbalanced. :001_huh:

[PiCO]

would you defend your child w/out question?

 

I don't believe for a second my kids would use such words. How could they, they've never heard them! My kids are nearly 5 and 7 by the way.

 

So I got to thinking, should I believe in my kids w/out question? Would you?

 

In your situation, I would try to calm the neighbor down by telling her I would discuss this with my children ASAP, and tell her that I agree my children should not be using that kind of language.

 

Then I would talk to my kids ASAP... about how the neighbor is not a very nice person, and they should avoid her at all costs. ;)

[MrsBasil]

I don't know. I do know that kids can pick up very vile language in just about any setting, so it's always possible a kid does know what a word means or, at least has heard it used.

 

That said, if there's a history of her being unstable I *think* I would have just said, "Oh my, I'll have to talk with them. Goodbye now." and tried to leave it at that. That way she thinks I'm taking her seriously and my kids wouldn't have to hear her rant and rave.

 

It's not lying, you do have to talk with them about avoiding the neighbor, coming inside or coming to get you if she is outside, and calming them down, but it sends her on her way hopefully and gets the crazy woman off your front porch.

 

:grouphug:

[OrganicAnn]

I wouldn't let my kids play outside without supervision if there is a crazy lady in the neighborhood. I'd want to see what the kids are doing and what the crazy lady is doing.

 

ETA: My sister flipped someone the bird when she was in K or 1st grade and got into trouble. When asked what it meant, she said that it meant "you are a donkey". So little kids don't always know what they are saying or doing.

Edited August 27, 2012 by OrganicAnn

[TranquilMind]

would you defend your child w/out question?

 

One of my neighbours came to my door today absolutely livid. There has been a history of her causing trouble w/ my children (they are afraid of her). They came in today very upset, I settled them down and sent them back out. Shortly later is when she came to my door. I asked her politely what the problem was, she started telling me some things that sounded suspicious, I told her that she was upsetting my children (they were howling w/ tears), she then told me that they used bad words to call her names. At this point she began losing credibility w/ me b/c the words my kids think are bad are pretty mild (i.e. hate, stupid ect.). I won't write the words she used but she said my son called her some very strong swear words.

 

We are a Christian family and I know my kids wouldn't use such words. In fact, they've never even heard them. I told her at this point that they would not use words they don't know. She tore a strip off me and I told her that I did not believe the things she was saying. She swore at me and said all kinds of horrible things about my family.

 

I don't believe for a second my kids would use such words. How could they, they've never heard them! My kids are nearly 5 and 7 by the way.

 

So I got to thinking, should I believe in my kids w/out question? Would you?

 

 

Well, I'm a "get the facts and gather all the evidence" kind of person. I will examine all avenues and if I conclude that my child could not have been exposed to whatever someone said he did, I believe him. It happened to us once. A boy at a sleepover with an older friend who had a sexually active brother shared a bunch of things his brother did with his girlfriend. My son, about 9 or 10 at the time, and totally homeschooled (no co-op, no tv exposure, etc) could not have known these things. The other boy told him my son was the one who shared these things. But the things were about the other kid's brother's girlfriend. Busted! His parents believed him, to my surprise. The friendship ended.

 

But I will examine each set of circumstances. If you conclude that your kids could not possibly have done what she said -and she sure reduces her credibility by swearing a blue streak at you ! - then believe your kids!

[swellmomma]

I defend my kids hands down but I never say they would never unless I was there for thing like bad words. However ds8 was recently accused of chasing a little girl with a knife, while he was in a city 2 hours from here. And ds13 was accused of setting a fire when he was 5 hours from here. In both cases I not only defended my boys but warned that any further accusations like those would result in harassment and slander charges.

 

Most recently an old hag 2 doors down flipped on me and my kids that my kids stole her raspberries. SHe would not listen when I said they did no such thing as they had been with me all day. She was insistant so I told her to point at which ones did it. She finally pointed out the kid. THe kid was not one of mine, it was one from down the block, which I pointed out. SHe said she saw him play on my lawn once so I was responsible for his behaviour. In that case I said shut up you old hag and leave my kids alone and walked away. Later that day I walked by with my puppies, she froze as they barked up a storm at her. I said to the dogs in a sing song voice, don't worry guys, I'll let you have a taste of the old hag if she yells at the kids again. She has left them alone since. (The puppies were 4 months and 7 months, harmless but big with deep barks)

 

For things like bad words I say to the person I will look into it. There is some that seem to think you should chew your kids out right there in front of them, but I believe in asking my kids what really happened and if discipline is needed I mete it out privately. However If I know my kid did wrong I do not defend it, I make them step up and apologize etc. Basically it is a case by case situation but if I thought it was an outright lie the person is saying I stand up for my kids and refuse to back down and let bully me into punishing my kids for something they didn't do.

[Murphy101]

We are a Christian family and I know my kids wouldn't use such words. In fact, they've never even heard them.

 

:001_huh: Unless they live in a bubble and you never let them out of earshot - which obviously you do - then there's no way of knowing they've never heard words that people are known to say even at the grocery store - or come up to their neighbors front door and say. That claim seems contrary to me and doesn't have much to do with being Christian. Christian kids are still human kids who can say things they shouldn't, especially when angry or hurt.

 

But in this case it wouldn't matter much to me. Even if I believed her, she sounds psychotic and provoking. I'd tell her I'm going to deal with them and shut the door. Then I'd ask for my kids version of the tale, tell my kids to stay away from crazy lady and not say hateful words.

[msjones]

Swellmomma,

Did you really call her an "old hag"?

 

Just wondering...

 

I've been sick in bed all day and need some entertainment, I guess..

[Impish]

Swellmomma,

Did you really call her an "old hag"?

 

Just wondering...

 

I've been sick in bed all day and need some entertainment, I guess..

Knowing Swellmomma, that would be her editing herself. :tongue_smilie:

[Aggie]

Were there other kids outside? You'd be surprised at how a neighbor kid can say a bad word, just repeating something he heard at home. Then your kid repeats that word in front of someone. :glare:

 

Obviously you've talked with your dc about not saying 'stupid' or 'hate' but you haven't told them NOT to say $h1t. They just have to hear one person say it one time, perhaps in a store, or even in Sunday school.

[swellmomma]

Swellmomma,

Did you really call her an "old hag"?

 

Just wondering...

 

I've been sick in bed all day and need some entertainment, I guess..

 

Yes I really did. She looked and acted the part and it made her shut up yelling at me and my kids for something they never did. Maybe not my brightest moment but oh well.

[swellmomma]

Knowing Swellmomma, that would be her editing herself. :tongue_smilie:

 

:tongue_smilie: Nope that is what I called her. Now if it was the banishee down teh block it would have been me editting myself

[Lang Syne Boardie]

:001_huh: Unless they live in a bubble and you never let them out of earshot - which obviously you do - then there's no way of knowing they've never heard words that people are known to say even at the grocery store - or come up to their neighbors front door and say. That claim seems contrary to me and doesn't have much to do with being Christian. Christian kids are still human kids who can say things they shouldn't, especially when angry or hurt.

 

But in this case it wouldn't matter much to me. Even if I believed her, she sounds psychotic and provoking. I'd tell her I'm going to deal with them and shut the door. Then I'd ask for my kids version of the tale, tell my kids to stay away from crazy lady and not say hateful words.

 

Well, that's pretty much what I was going to say!

 

Your children almost certainly know words you don't want them to know, especially since you do send them out to play unsupervised. We live in a society full of bad words for your kids to hear, almost no matter what you do.

 

The takeaway point in this case, IMVHO, is not really whether or not 5-8yo children said bad words to crazy neighbor lady. (Which, for the record, I'm not assuming they did. She sounds nuts.) The takeaway point is that they are still little enough to need your supervision, both for their behavior and to keep them safe from crazy neighbor ladies.

Edited August 27, 2012 by Tibbie Dunbar

[Catwoman]

would you defend your child w/out question?

 

One of my neighbours came to my door today absolutely livid. There has been a history of her causing trouble w/ my children (they are afraid of her). They came in today very upset, I settled them down and sent them back out. Shortly later is when she came to my door. I asked her politely what the problem was, she started telling me some things that sounded suspicious, I told her that she was upsetting my children (they were howling w/ tears), she then told me that they used bad words to call her names.

 

Yes, I would defend them without question because the woman sounds like a troublemaking nut.

 

BUT... I do question the wisdom of "settling them down and sending them back out." I don't know why you would have sent them back outside without going out there with them to make sure she didn't bother them again.

 

Additionally, if she did something to upset your children to the point of being "very upset," shouldn't you have immediately confronted her about it? :confused:

 

I feel like I'm missing part of the story.

[Joanne]

I find the post odd.

 

I would not engage with an adult who was so over the top ~ regardless of my kids' behavior.

 

I think that your perception about your sheltered Christian kids is a bit unrealistic.

 

Kids pick up on language, tone, and colorful interaction. Kids experiement with language and reaction. I've learned, in cases like this, to never say never.

[Impish]

First observation: never say never as a parent. I dislike the taste of toe jam, and crow. Little darlings have a way of proving parents wrong in the most public of ways.

 

2nd, if she's unhinged, time to keep a closer eye on the kidlets.

[4Hisglory]

I have had this happen to me recently. :sad: It was over something I was confident my son wouldn't do, but I did ask everyone present if they witnessed him do what she accused him of. Even though everyone said they didn't see him do it she insisted he did. Then I did just defend him and part ways with her and her children. It was super stressful. I did realize that she was having a really hard time in her life and we had become her scapegoats so we did pray for them.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: for all of you.

[Just Kate]

I am pretty sure I would defend my kids in this situation. My kiddos are 8 and 5 and I am quite sure they don't know any swear words. The other day, my ds said something about the "S" word. Oh no, I thought...here it comes. When I questioned him further, I realized he meant "stupid". :lol:

 

We watch our mouths around our kids and we only watch G rated shows. So, no, I highly doubt they would swear at an adult in our neighborhood.

 

(Now I wouldn't feel this way about something else...just swearing because I don't think my kids know what it is yet.)

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I am pretty sure I would defend my kids in this situation. My kiddos are 8 and 5 and I am quite sure they don't know any swear words. The other day, my ds said something about the "S" word. Oh no, I thought...here it comes. When I questioned him further, I realized he meant "stupid". :lol:

 

We watch our mouths around our kids and we only watch G rated shows. So, no, I highly doubt they would swear at an adult in our neighborhood.

 

(Now I wouldn't feel this way about something else...just swearing because I don't think my kids know what it is yet.)

 

But in your sig you say your children attend school! Wouldn't it have to be true that all of the children in the school watch only G-rated movies and have parents who watch their mouths? I'm not trying to be argumentative, I just don't understand your total confidence. I just don't see how you can think your children don't know any bad words and don't even know what swearing is.

[Joker]

If your kids are afraid of her (your words in OP) and they came in upset, I really don't get why you would then send a 5 and 7 year old back outside without your supervision. :confused: If my kids were afraid of a neighbor and I knew that neighbor was outside, I would be out there with my kids. I really just don't get it at all.

[Just Kate]

But in your sig you say your children attend school! Wouldn't it have to be true that all of the children in the school watch only G-rated movies and have parents who watch their mouths? I'm not trying to be argumentative, I just don't understand your total confidence. I just don't see how you can think your children don't know any bad words and don't even know what swearing is.

 

Well, I changed my signature to reflect that my children will be attending school this year. Their first day is tomorrow. So, as of today, I am pretty sure they don't know any swear words.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Well, I changed my signature to reflect that my children will be attending school this year. Their first day is tomorrow. So, as of today, I am pretty sure they don't know any swear words.

 

Oh, I see. I hope they have a great day tomorrow!

[JenMama]

My oldest, when she was 9, told me that she knew what the "F" word was. My 6 year old was in the car, too, so I said, "Please don't elaborate on that with your little sister in the car.". When we got home, she told me the word was FAT. She explained, "That's a very hurtful word! Wiggles may be very funny to children, but we musn't ever point them out!". I exhaled... :001_smile:

[msjones]

I'll just add that I defended my younger a few times only to discover later that he was going through a big, miserable, ugly lying stage. I'd had no idea.

 

That was no fun.

[besroma]

I don't think you should believe them without question all of the time, but in this situation, I definitely would. Your neighbor demonstrated that she does swear, and you have no reason to think that your children would. She sounds unbalanced. :001_huh:

 

In your situation, I would try to calm the neighbor down by telling her I would discuss this with my children ASAP, and tell her that I agree my children should not be using that kind of language.

 

Then I would talk to my kids ASAP... about how the neighbor is not a very nice person, and they should avoid her at all costs. ;)

 

:iagree:

[besroma]

Well, I changed my signature to reflect that my children will be attending school this year. Their first day is tomorrow. So, as of today, I am pretty sure they don't know any swear words.

 

:grouphug:

[Caitilin]

I don't think you should believe them without question all of the time, but in this situation, I definitely would. Your neighbor demonstrated that she does swear, and you have no reason to think that your children would. She sounds unbalanced. :001_huh:

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:So sorry this happened to your littles.:grouphug::grouphug:

[Tammi K]

I think for my kids, I would be defending them because even though I KNOW they know plenty of bad words, I have NEVER know them to speak rudely to an adult. Heck, they don't even speak rudely to each other. (They're NOT perfect. They do get annoyed with one another. But, they're never 'mean' to each other.) I just can't imagine that they would have the gumption to confront an adult with any thing like disrespect.

 

So, if someone came to me with a story like you're neighbor did, I just don't think I could believe it. And, I would indeed defend them.

[pfamilygal]

Yes I really did. She looked and acted the part and it made her shut up yelling at me and my kids for something they never did. Maybe not my brightest moment but oh well.

 

I think I love you.

[clarkacademy]

would you defend your child w/out question?

 

One of my neighbours came to my door today absolutely livid. There has been a history of her causing trouble w/ my children (they are afraid of her). They came in today very upset, I settled them down and sent them back out. Shortly later is when she came to my door. I asked her politely what the problem was, she started telling me some things that sounded suspicious, I told her that she was upsetting my children (they were howling w/ tears), she then told me that they used bad words to call her names. At this point she began losing credibility w/ me b/c the words my kids think are bad are pretty mild (i.e. hate, stupid ect.). I won't write the words she used but she said my son called her some very strong swear words.

 

We are a Christian family and I know my kids wouldn't use such words. In fact, they've never even heard them. I told her at this point that they would not use words they don't know. She tore a strip off me and I told her that I did not believe the things she was saying. She swore at me and said all kinds of horrible things about my family.

 

I don't believe for a second my kids would use such words. How could they, they've never heard them! My kids are nearly 5 and 7 by the way.

 

So I got to thinking, should I believe in my kids w/out question? Would you?

 

After the stuff I have seen I really can't say. I would like to believe my kids but kids are kids. I had a friend who has a daughter. Sweetest little girl. Very church going family VERY. The kid could do no wrong. I really thought this kid was perfect until I found a clip my daughter had made on a camera.

 

Only sailors talk like that if you get my drift. I never told the mother cause I figure she will find out anyway eventually and I didn't want my kid drug in to it. For the record my daughter was much older so this wasn't a play date situation. She told the kid she wanted to take pics the kid had no idea she was being video taped so to speak.

 

She always told me there was more to this kid than people see and until I saw it myself I didn't believe it. I would have never dreamed her kids would hear words like that either but they did. Then my daughter took the camera to their church once again taking pictures.

 

The things that those kids said blew me away. My daughter looked at me and said now you know why I don't wanna go anymore.

[redsquirrel]

You know your kids. If it really doesn't make sense then believe them. But, first, I wouldn't deal with anyone who came to my door acting like that. Calm down and act like an adult and we will talk.

 

Now, if you like, when things have calmed waaaay down you can ask your kids what happened that day. If they are already scared of her it is unlikely they sought her out to have an interaction. She sounds fairly unstable. And, I think it is interesting that she is the one who let loose with a run of curse words in front of your kids.

 

And don't be so sure that all kids know swear words. Before I had kids, I had no problem cutting lose with a wide variety of swear words in several languages. I totally cleaned up my act. My son was 10 when he came to me to ask "what are swear words" and he had never heard any of them. He knew they existed, because he had heard the phrase 'swear word' but he didn't know what that meant or any of the words. And, yes, I did explain what the phrase meant and gave him a run down of the standard curse words..and a quick grammar lesson as to their use.

 

So, there was one 10 year old who didn't know any swear words. I am sure there are others.

 

My friend's neighbor's house was robbed. The cops were convinced my friend's son did it. They were convinced only because he is a teenage boy.He didn't do it. He wouldn't do it. The cops had absolutely no evidence of any kind and so dropped the matter. But, she knew her kid and was never worried that he would do such a thing. No one who knows him took it seriously. Just because an adult says a kid did something doesn't make it true.

[Marie131]

My son wrote a story about the whole incident. He is a highly sensitive child and he loves writing. I am very proud of him for using his writing as a coping strategy, which he clearly did today. His story outlined the whole incident, explaining what he was doing, what she accused him of and his feelings about the whole thing. Bless his heart.

 

I am really upset that she would come banging on my door and say such horrid things. In fact, I am quite sick about it. I guess I shouldn't care what the neighbourhood crazy lady thinks, but goodness she was really mean. No wonder the poor kids are afraid of her.

 

I know some of you think my OP sounds odd, I really didn't think I needed to give a whole bunch of background info as it would be lengthy but I can clarify if necessary.

[Rai B.]

Coming to your door using obcenities doesn’t make her sound like a reliable witness.

 

Could she could have misheard them? (though that doesn’t excuse her response). While I was reading the thread I remembered a time a few years age when I said "thank you" to someone in a car after they stopped to let me through. Judging by their immediate horrified expression before they drove off, I think they thought I said something else.

 

I wouldn’t assume my dd hasn’t heard something and repeated it without knowing the significance. She picked up "jerk" a couple years ago, and I never figured out where or who it was from.

[Catwoman]

My son wrote a story about the whole incident. He is a highly sensitive child and he loves writing. I am very proud of him for using his writing as a coping strategy, which he clearly did today. His story outlined the whole incident, explaining what he was doing, what she accused him of and his feelings about the whole thing. Bless his heart.

 

I am really upset that she would come banging on my door and say such horrid things. In fact, I am quite sick about it. I guess I shouldn't care what the neighbourhood crazy lady thinks, but goodness she was really mean. No wonder the poor kids are afraid of her.

 

I know some of you think my OP sounds odd, I really didn't think I needed to give a whole bunch of background info as it would be lengthy but I can clarify if necessary.

 

FWIW, I just assumed from your post that the woman was a nut, a liar, and a troublemaker. I also assumed that you know your own kids better than anyone else does, and if you say they don't curse, I believe you.

 

Personally, I think your only mistake was in sending the kids back outside without you after Crazy Neighbor Wacko upset them the first time, but since I don't know the back story about the neighbor, I could be missing something important here.

[Ritsumei]

:001_huh: Unless they live in a bubble and you never let them out of earshot - which obviously you do - then there's no way of knowing they've never heard words that people are known to say even at the grocery store - or come up to their neighbors front door and say. That claim seems contrary to me and doesn't have much to do with being Christian. Christian kids are still human kids who can say things they shouldn't, especially when angry or hurt.

 

Once upon a time, I was this kid. The good, sweet one that never got into trouble. And then one day the neighbor parked his beautiful red truck in front of my house. I don't know what got into me, but I remember thinking that I'd teach him a lesson, and NOBODY would park in front of MY house again. And I grabbed one of the many rocks laying around, and I took it to my neighbor's truck. I did a good job; scratched up the paint on that whole side of the truck. He apparently saw me, and came over and confronted my parents about it later (though to this day I can't figure out why he didn't come on over and tell me to Knock It Off!!). My mom couldn't imagine me doing such a thing and was going to defend me without question... until she saw my face. I knew I did it, and I knew I was busted, and it was all right there on my face.

 

I was 5 years old. Good, church going, Christian family. I'd been taught better. I did it anyway.

 

Little kids do stupid stuff sometimes, even when they know better. I'd ask the kid, just to be sure. Cuz I remember what a random little brat I was that particular day.:D

 

Of course, it sounds like there's History with this neighbor, and that definitely plays into things.

[Bee Happy]

Without question? No. I would question, or else, how can I know each side of the story. My kids aren't perfect, so there is always the chance. I also don't let my kids out of eyesight until they are around 10, and even then, they have to go all together (3 older kids). One of them will always tell on the other and I'm more likely to get the truth about what they did or what someone else did.

[Marie131]

Personally, I think your only mistake was in sending the kids back outside without you after Crazy Neighbor Wacko upset them the first time, but since I don't know the back story about the neighbor, I could be missing something important here.

 

You know, I shouldn't have sent him back out but I did. There is a bit of backstory, that being I am having a complicated pregnancy and am supposed to be resting. I haven't been resting so my dh told me to park it on the couch today. I assumed my dh was watching the boys (the kids were still w/in earshot and eyesight of me from my living room but I wasn't paying super close attention), I thought DH was out in the garage but he wasn't. I did instruct my ds to stay away from the crazy lady, which he did, but she came after him. I really didn't think she was that nuts. Now I know better and the kids have been instructed to come inside as soon as they see her and I will go out w/ them or they can play in the back. There is no way that I will let my kids near her unsupervised again!

 

I also wanted to add, that they are only allowed to play right in front of our house where I can see/hear them at all times so they are not running wild or anything.

[Catwoman]

You know, I shouldn't have sent him back out but I did. There is a bit of backstory, that being I am having a complicated pregnancy and am supposed to be resting. I haven't been resting so my dh told me to park it on the couch today. I assumed my dh was watching the boys (the kids were still w/in earshot and eyesight of me from my living room but I wasn't paying super close attention), I thought DH was out in the garage but he wasn't. I did instruct my ds to stay away from the crazy lady, which he did, but she came after him. I really didn't think she was that nuts. Now I know better and the kids have been instructed to come inside as soon as they see her and I will go out w/ them or they can play in the back. There is no way that I will let my kids near her unsupervised again!

 

Oh, OK! It makes a lot more sense to me now -- thanks for the clarification! :001_smile:

 

I think you're making the right move by keeping an eye out for her in the future, but it's terrible that you have to deal with a crazy neighbor! Your kids should be safe in their own yard, and now you'll be on edge all the time, worrying that she will show up.

 

Would it help if you or your dh confronted her and let her know she is unwelcome on your property?

[Bee Happy]

In regards to not knowing bad words, etc...Those were my kids. Then we moved and they went out to meet new friends (Right outside -- about 100 feet). They always come back and tell me everything that happens (I love this). A 7 year old told them what a lesbian was, an 11 year old taught them at least 3 new curse words. I asked them what they did about the cursing 11 year old. They told her it wasn't nice to use that language and that some people might be offended. So the 11 year old started to censor herself by replacing the curse words with BLEEPS. LOL!

[redsquirrel]

Well, lesbian isn't a curse word. When my son didn't know any swear words he knew what a lesbian is.

 

My now 12 year old does the BEEEP thing also. :lol: I find it hilarious. He learned it from his friend. The 7 year old has picked it up and has no idea what it really means. I think the 7 year old thinks it means yay, or wow, or something. I announced dinner was finally ready and he yelled out BEEP!

[Bee Happy]

Well, lesbian isn't a curse word. When my son didn't know any swear words he knew what a lesbian is.

 

My now 12 year old does the BEEEP thing also. :lol: I find it hilarious. He learned it from his friend. The 7 year old has picked it up and has no idea what it really means. I think the 7 year old thinks it means yay, or wow, or something. I announced dinner was finally ready and he yelled out BEEP!

 

I know it's not a curse word, I just meant that the conversation got around to topics that they might not discuss in front of adults, and if my kids had not told me, I never would have known.

[tomandlorih]

In your situation, I would try to calm the neighbor down by telling her I would discuss this with my children ASAP, and tell her that I agree my children should not be using that kind of language.

 

Then I would talk to my kids ASAP... about how the neighbor is not a very nice person, and they should avoid her at all costs. ;)

:iagree:

[Lolly]

I think you read the situation correctly. I do think you may be naive about what words your kids may know. Just because they don't use them doesn't mean they haven't heard them. They very well may have learned them from the crazy neighbor lady at some point while playing outside. At my house the cute 2 yo across the street possibly heard them from my dh this weekend. He was attempting to start a gas powered lawn thingy. I hollered at him that there were baby ears across the street, but...

[Night Elf]

Personally, I think your only mistake was in sending the kids back outside without you after Crazy Neighbor Wacko upset them the first time, but since I don't know the back story about the neighbor, I could be missing something important here.

 

:iagree: Just how are your kids and this woman in contact in the first place? Does she live right next door and has access to speak to your children every time they go outside? Are they playing in your yard only, or in a common area where she could be hanging out? It might be a hassle for you, but you might need to start going out with them to assess the situation.

 

As far as the language goes, if she swears like that on a regular basis then your kids have heard the words before since you said this isn't the first time she's shown craziness. But whatever, your children know the words now. It's a sad thing when our kids lose a little innocence.

[FO4UR]

Well, my young, homeschooled, sheltered children learned some choice words and phrases from other kids at church recently.:glare:

 

I think it's probably wise to keep the kids in the backyard if you or dh are not out there with them, for more reasons that just the crazy lady. Do you have a nice lawn chair? Take a book outside and read in the shade while the kids play.

 

 

To make you feel better, my kids came in upset b/c a neighborhood kid was being really terrible last week. The same kid has played with mine all summer, perfectly fine - I know b/c most of the play has been in my home and I'm a nosy mom. It seems the start of school may have taught the neighbor kid some new tricks...and he's trying them out on my kids.:glare: I was inside getting the house cleaned. These things happen, and we can't always prevent out kids from being in the middle of it. :grouphug:

 

 

This is a good time to teach your dc when it's appropriate to disobey an adult...and what merits "being rude" to an adult. (ie - They can and should ignore her and walk away if she approaches them.)

[Katy]

If she cussed you out, she's probably done the same thing to your kids, so they have heard the words, even if they don't know exactly what they mean. And you might be surprised what awful stuff kids can learn at Sunday School.

 

But in this case, I believe your kids. Normal adults don't act that way.

[2squared]

In regards to not knowing bad words, etc...Those were my kids.

 

:iagree: mine too. Last year my oldest asked about swear words, so I taught the older two what they were. Since they don't hear those words, they don't remember which words are swear words. We also have discussions about not saying words if they don't know what the words mean.

[Mom-ninja.]

If you really fell that your dc are innocent than go with that. Yet, kids do lie.

 

Once a woman accused me of threatening her kids with a knife. :001_huh: I was 14 and babysitting. I told a group of kids that they had to leave the yard because they were teasing the little boys I was watching. The kids got mad at me. I remember them in a huddle and whispering then they took off on their bikes. They apparently told their mom that I threatened to "cut them" with a knife. The mom believed them. She went to the house and blasted my dad. My dad knew it was ridiculous. He tried to calm the lady down and simply said he would talk to me. I'm not sure how it ended with the woman but my dad believed me.